(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Pinocchio. The song "When You Wish Upon a Star" plays in the background throughout)
Doug (vo): Much like how Snow White was mostly fueled on emotions, Pinocchio was very similar. It’s not even really based on a fairy tale, it’s based on a book, and a very odd, deranged, dark book as well. Yeah, the movie’s dark, too, but, good God! The book’s downright sadistic. Where in a fairy tale, you just know it’s sort of a magical world where magical things can happen, this world treats it a little differently. I mean, there are magical things like the Blue Fairy that brings the puppet to life, but then how about the fact that there’s just a fox and a cat walking around like normal people. I remember how blown away they were that they saw a puppet boy walking around, and all I could think to myself is, “Why isn’t anybody blown away that there’s a giant fox and a giant cat just walking around?” Well, it’s just that kind of world where things like that can happen. And if there’s anything Disney is good at, it’s having us go along with things that don’t make sense, and this movie does it pretty well.
Doug (vo): Geppetto makes a puppet boy, wishes one night that he were real, and the Blue Fairy comes and makes it happen. It’s ironic because probably, the film should be centered around Geppetto. He’s the one that has a past, he’s the one that actually has some character. Pinocchio is just sort of born with his personality, so the fact that he has to learn lessons and be given a conscience is kind of strange because the Blue Fairy just sort of made him up, didn't she? If you want him to learn lessons, why didn't you just have it where the lessons were already learned? But again, I’m totally over-analyzing this. Pinocchio comes across a bunch of strange adventures and learns a bunch of lessons along the way, and the visuals they used to have them learn these lessons sticks with us even today. The nose growing longer when you’re lying, turning into a donkey when you've been bad, you don’t forget strangeness like this that often.
Doug (vo): Pinocchio is a pretty likeable character, and I like the fact that they do make him, for lack of a better term, a real boy. He isn't just pitch perfect, he is gullible, he does want to do bad things sometimes. It doesn't mean he’s a rotten kid, it just means he’s a kid. What sets him apart, though, is that he does learn his lesson and he does try to do better. He has a conscience named Jiminy Cricket, who, I’m just gonna say out there, I never enjoyed, even as a kid. Yeah, I know, that means I have no heart and I’m going to Hell or whatever you want to say, but I just don’t like this guy.
Jiminy Cricket: [singing] When you get in trouble and you don't know right from wrong, give a little whistle.
Doug (vo): I just didn't find him that charming, I didn't find him that funny, his voice sort of grated on me, but he sings that one song and everybody’s putty in his hands. I don’t know. I was always waiting for Pinocchio to step on him.
[Various dark and creepy images from the film are shown]
Doug (vo): Again, the creepy imagery is sort of upped in this movie, much like it was in Snow White, except this time, instead of everything always turning out okay, this time, it wasn't always okay. A bunch of misbehaving boys are brought to an amusement park and then turned into donkeys where they’re gonna be used in mining shafts, and that’s it. You never see them again. The guy running the place is never defeated, the boys can’t talk anymore, God knows what they’re doing with the ones who can. It’s pretty friggin' grim as kids’ films go.
[The film's climax and ending is shown]
Doug (vo): The rest, however, does come back to the typical Disney formula. After a relatively exciting climax, Pinocchio gets smashed into a bunch of rocks and loses his life. Again, he can spin his head around, but some rocks kills...I don’t know. But the Blue Fairy comes back and sees his sacrifice and brings him back. Everybody in the audience is filled with joy, and, of course, Jiminy Cricket sings that song that, nowadays, is almost causing some controversy. Okay, not major controversy, but people have been debating whether or not this is a good message. This is the song that Disney used all the time, it’s practically their biggest trademark. But some people think that it just promotes laziness, or a lying belief that everything will be okay if you just believe hard enough. While you could make that argument, I have yet to see a kid that totally fell for this, or even more depressing, an adult. I think kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Kids are always gonna be aware that there’s bad things in the world. There’s things they’re gonna be afraid of, and that closing their eyes and wishing isn't always gonna solve their problem. I think most people connect to it because it’s a symbol of hope rather than realistic planning, that sometimes, unexpected good things can happen, and they can come out of nowhere. They can come when you least suspect it, so never give up the idea that all hope is gone. I don’t know. That’s what I got out of it and I think that’s what most people get out of it.
Doug (vo): And I think that’s what most people get out of the film as well. It runs the Disney gambit that most of us enjoy, at times bright and colorful, but at other times dark and scary, threatening and doubtful, but always with that ray of hope that sees us through. It doesn't always make a whole lot of sense, but they create a world where it doesn't need to. It’s a world where anything can happen, even when you least suspect it.
[The final scene of the film, showing Jiminy Cricket looking at the city at night, is shown]
Background singers: You'll find your dreams come true!