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Phelous and Me

Phelous and me 2.jpg

Aired
April 01, 2015
Running time
17:10
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(Title card has two Phelouses replacing Eric on the film's poster)

2008 Phelous: What am I looking at? (turns around to look at Mac) Eww, what is that!?

2015 Phelous: Some of the amazing acting.

2015 Phelous (VO): Alright, so you take this (Mac and Me), and this (2008 Phelous), and you fuse them together and you get this stupid review... Phelous and Me. I love when things fuse via explosion.

2015 Phelous: Today, we're gonna be looking at the first-ever review by the Fail-eous Crooked. That's right, I'm gonna pretend I don't recognize myself during the whole video. That sounds fantastic, doesn't it?

Captain Explainy-Pants: Hello, I'm Captain Explainy-Pants. I'm here to tell you what the joke was. You see--

(Phelous loads his gun and shoots at Captain Explainy-Pants)

2015 Phelous: Why won't that guy stay dead? (drops his gun) Well, thank you everyone for joining me on my celebration of my favorite thing ever. Would you like to guess what that is?

Eric: A Big Mac?

2015 Phelous: No, no, no, try again.

2008 Phelous: A BIG MAC!! (laughs maniacally)

2015 Phelous: ...Yes, quite.

2015 Phelous (VO): When the Mac and Me review hit the scene back in 2008, there was only one complaint: it wasn't long enough!

2015 Phelous: And that I'm often not sarcastic enough.

2015 Phelous (VO): It's amazing to think now that the silly review which clocked in at just under 25 minutes had everyone complaining. Oh, you silly naive 2008 people, you thought this was too long for a review?

2015 Phelous: Now in the future of 2015, we're like, "Tcha, they only spent an hour on this review? Guess they didn't feel like going that in-depth."

2015 Phelous (VO): Considering how many people hated my guts immediately and how annoying my voice is, it sure would be stupid if I were still doing these videos seven years later.

2015 Phelous (VO): Of course, I did improve vastly over the years, and now everyone loves my voice.

2015 Phelous (VO): What's also changed over the years is the Mac and Me review itself, because I really can't seem to leave things alone. One of the main changes has been the color correction. Just look at how miserably yellow it was first! Was I blind or just thought I pissed on the screen? Well, a later update in 2012 fixed it slightly, but that still wasn't good enough for me, and this year became this! Oooh! By 2021, I predict the review will look like this! Pretty sweet! Can't wait for me to do that!

2008 Phelous: Wow. Just wow.

2015 Phelous: You can say that again. Wow. Just wow.

2008 Phelous (VO): And now the rest of the family is in a vast desert. Apparently this lab is right beside a busy highway and a desolate desert? (sighs) Fair enough...

2008 Phelous: ACK... Pppf... MY HEART!

2015 Phelous: Oh yeah, that was my real death, wasn't it, huh? Well, least that was a fitting end of the series.

2015 Phelous (VO): So after being dead on the floor, I still reviewed the movie, summing it up, blah blah blah, voice over line.

2015 Phelous: On camera shot agreement.

2008 Phelous: This movie takes you around and back again.

2015 Phelous (VO): Then I close this steaming pile of review with something never ever to be done again, a horror edit of the film. But that would have been pretty fuckin' redundant considering I followed this with almost exclusively horror for fucking years!

2015 Phelous: But I don't care, because I hate change! And since this isn't me reviewing a horror movie, not watching! And now let me leave you with the horror version of the review of Mac and Me.

2015 Phelous: Merry April Foolsmas, everyone! I wish I'd just done a real review!

(outro)

2015 Phelous: And to those of you that always tell me the Mac and Me review is still the best video I've ever done, let me tell you, that wounds me deeply. ...to keep doing it.

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