No edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
| Line 437: | Line 437: | ||
|70 |
|70 |
||
|Anaconda |
|Anaconda |
||
| + | |15:10 |
||
| − | | |
||
| + | |Snake. Why did it have to be snake? Phelous wrestles with ''Anaconda''. When a failed priest leads a documentary crew through the jungle, they find themselves being inexplicably chased by a giant anaconda. It's hip-hop stars vs. Jon Voight vs. Bad CGI in this baffling hit. Grab some ice cubes, and chill out because this review don't cost a thing! |
||
| − | | |
||
|September 22nd, 2010 |
|September 22nd, 2010 |
||
|- |
|- |
||
Revision as of 22:56, 23 September 2010
Episodes
| Episode Number | Name | Episode Length | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Phelous and Me | 24:30 | Mac? What does that stand for? Mysterious Alien Creature? No... Grab a Coke and head to McDonalds as Phelous tackles the shameless E.T. knockoff/movie-that-is-essentially-a-commercial Mac and Me. | November 14, 2008 |
| 2 | Phelous Knows What You Shouldn't Have Watched Last Summer | 15:28 | This time around Phelous takes on the horrible horror film I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer | December 1, 2008 |
| 3 | Mac and Me in 3 minutes | 02:37 | In a parody of himself, and addressing complaints about his video length, Phelous also takes a spin at a 5 Second Movie and Bum Reviews. (Found on the site under "5 Second Movies") | December 1, 2008 |
| 4 | Phunny Review | 15:46 | Phelous tackles Funny Games, a 2006 remake of an Austrian horror film. If you don't like how things turned out, you can always rewind reality with your remote and try again. What kind of shit version of "Click" is this? | January 6, 2009 |
| 5 | Mortal Komedy Holiday Special 3 | 40:36 | The third holiday special of Phelous' long running series Mortal Komedy. | January 21, 2009 |
| 6 | The People Shooters Part II | 04:21 | Returning from a month long hiatus on TGWTG, Phelous is officially picked up with a fake movie trailer The People Shooters Part II! Do you know how many people they've killed? About as many bullets as they've fired! | February 27, 2009 |
| 7 | Dragonball CG Ep 1 | 07:51 | Vegeta and Goku play videogames while Jase and Barta begin their attack. Is that okay? As a matter of fact, it isn't. | March 18, 2009 |
| 8 | The Ruins of Phelous | 13:14 | Phelous watches the gory idiot-fest, The Ruins. In a movie where a poorly guarded Mayan temple is infested with laughing plants that can mimic cell phone sounds and invade human bodies, will our unlikable group of heroes escape with their lives? Will we even care? | March 24, 2009 |
| 9 | Silent Phelous | 12:40 | Phelous reviews the bastardized movie version of the loved game classic, Silent Hill. Is it a faithful attempt at bringing the survival horror franchise to the silver screen, or were we just given the dog ending? | April 6, 2009 |
| 10 | Phelous and the Troll | 10:32 | Phelous reviews Troll, a misguided movie with a very familiar sounding main character. When ancient creatures threaten to turn an apartment complex into a magical forest by turning it inhabitants into plants, it's up to Harry Potter to end their reign of terror. Your Patronus won't save you now! | April 23, 2009 |
| 11 | A Serious Intro to Phelous | 4:40 | Once the TGWTG audience was eagerly awaiting the Troll 2 review, Phelous gave them exactly what they wanted: A FAQ about himself. | May 25, 2009 |
| 12 | Phelous and the Troll 2 | 17:43 | Phelous tackles the well-known sequel to the lesser known Troll. It's too bad Troll 2 has nothing to do with Troll. Or trolls for that matter. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! | May 27, 2009 |
| 13 | Phelous is Skinned Deep | 18:42 | Phelous suffers through Skinned Deep, a low budget slasher flick that tries to be so bad, it's good, but ends up being so bad it's awful. A vacationing family find themselves in the company of a family of freaks, including a scarred man with a bear trap for a mouth, a midget who throws plates, and an idiot with a giant brain. What do you expect for a movie obviously made in the early nineties...? Wait a minute. This was made in 2004?! | June 14, 2009 |
| 14 | Phobgoblins | 18:38 | Phelous takes on Hobgoblins, without the MST3K riffing the movie was best known for. When a bunch of angry creature puppets escape their unlocked vault, it's up to some unlikable heroes to stop them from killing people with hallucinogenic fantasies. Grab your nearest garden tool and get ready for war! | July 17, 2009 |
| 15 | Mortal Komedy Episode 1 Parts 1 and 2 | 09:37 - 09:24 | "Pilot" The first episode of Mortal Komedy. Introducing us to a cynical Sub-Zero, a hyperactive Liu Kang, and a very... well Johnny Cage remains pretty much the same. | July 20, 2009 |
| 16 | Resident Hazard | 10:54 | How do you make Resident Evil's dialogue even worse? Take it out of context and mix it around. It won't matter if you're the master of unlocking if you're almost a Jill sandwich. Yeah? | August 2, 2009 |
| 17 | Phelous and the Troll 3 | 23:01 | Phelous assaults the final installment in the Troll trilogy by taking on the movie, The Crawlers. Wait, I mean, Contamination .7. Wait, I mean, Creepers. Wait, I mean, Troll 3: Contamination .7. This time, a town and family that have nothing to do with the first two movies are attacked by radioactive plants. | August 8, 2009 |
| 18 | Mortal Komedy Episode 2 Parts 1 and 2 | 12:25 and 14:22 | "The Big Kahn" The second episode of Mortal Komedy. Sub-Zero and Johnny Cage get ready to head to Outworld and face Shang Tsung, while Liu Kang and Smoke find a way to stop Shang's evil plan of providing everyone with the soul-stealing shampoo, Pantene Soul-V. | August 14, 2009 |
| 19 | Phelous Fever | 17:36 | Phelous reviews another modern gorefest with Cabin Fever. Another group of unlikable characters are being plagued by a mysterious disease. Will you hope everyone escapes with their lives, or will you cheer the next time another character vomits up a pool of blood? | August 20, 2009 |
| 20 | DBZ: Is that OK? Part 1 | 02:54 | Phelous takes part in an animated spoof of Dragonball Z. Originally a well known cartoon on Newgrounds. Is that OK? | August 27, 2009 |
| 21 | Phelous Aboard the Midnight Meat Train | 16:41 | Double entendre aside, Phelous climbs into the excessively gory Midnight Meat Train. When a photographer needs a few morbid photos for an art show, he finds the macabre in spades when he stumbles across a subway train inhabited by a suit-wearing butcher, who slaughters the hapless passengers with a meat tenderizer. FATALITY! | September 13, 2009 |
| 22 | Resident Hazard 2 | 10:38 | You just can't keep bad lines down. It's another hyper-edited line parody of Resident Evil, with some Resident Evil 2 thrown in for good measure. Yeah? | September 15th, 2009 |
| 23 | DBZ: Is That OK? Part 02 | 00:55 | An old April Fools animation with a normal expected ending. As a matter of fact, it isn't. | September 24th, 2009 |
| 24 | Phelous of the Dead | 15:44 | Phelous reviews Day of the Dead. No, not the GOOD one... it's the 2008 straight to DVD remake that reuses names from the original... and that's about it. I don't think it has anything to do with the holiday. | September 27, 2009 |
| 25 | Mortal Komedy Ep 03 | 15:28 | Sub-Zero and Johnny Cage decide to do a video game review show. Their first game on the list? That shameless Mortal Kombat Rip-off, Super Street Fighter 2. | October 2nd, 2009 |
| 26 | Resident Phelous Trailer | 00:53 | Phelous gives us a glimpse into his next reviews. A three-parter review of the Resident Evil movies. | October 20th, 2009 |
| 27 | Resident Phelous | 17:49 | Dressed as Barry Burton, Phelous looks in depth into the first Resident Evil movie. Hope this is not Chris's blood. | October 25th, 2009 |
| 28 | Phelous: Transformers - Starscream's Coronation Take 2 | 03:45 | A reimagining of Starscream's coronation from Transformers the movie. | October 29th, 2009 |
| 29 | Resident Phelous: Apocalypse | 19:41 | What?! What IS this? Phelous returns to show us the beginning of the end... of the Resident Evil movie franchise with Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Reeling from attacks on how the first movie was nothing like the games, this sequel has enough name dropping, scene stealing and character upstaging to completely obliterate the game's storyline. | November 8th, 2009 |
| 30 | Resident Phelous: Extinction | 19:10 | Wait, did he just pop in Mad Max by accident? The only thing extinct in RE: Extinction is the chance that the RE movie franchise will ever be good. Phelous heads into the desert wasteland that is Earth, where Alice continues to be the only competent (and nude) person (or people) on the planet. | November 21st, 2009 |
| 31 | S.T.A.R.S. PSA | 03:12 | It's time to spoof the classic PSAs with the cast of S.T.A.R.S.! | November 29th, 2009 |
| 32 | Donation | 01:14 | It's time to make a donation sandwich for the December 5th Donation drive! You can still donate! | December 7th, 2009 |
| 33 | Phelous Reviews Silent Hill: Shattered Memories | 15:11 | Phelous tries his hand at a game review, tackling the Wii-make of the original Silent Hill, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. Has the Otherworld frozen over? Apparently so... | December 15th, 2009 |
| 34 | PhearDotCom.Com | 23:53 | Phelous returns to reviewing horror movies with a review on the shameless Ringu ripoff, FearDotCom. It's a story about a website that kills you within seven, er, two days of visiting it. Fire up your Hotbox browser and head over on to www.feardotcom.com. Don't want to? But thou must. | December 23rd, 2009 |
| 35 | Santaberg Slays Phelous | 16:47 | Phelous take a trip to Hell.... Township in Santa's Slay. A cheesy slasher "comedy" in which wrestler Goldberg plays a demonic Santa Claus who terrorizes the aptly named township. Will the heroes be able to stop Santa by getting him to his curling match on time? | December 31st, 2009 |
| 34 | Phelous's Night of the Bunny Rabbits | 18:38 | What's the scariest thing you can think of? I'm willing to bet it's not bunny rabbits... but apparently SOMEONE did, because Phelous shows us the forgotten 70's movie, Night of the Lepus. Will Dr. McCoy be able to save his town from a pack of giant flesh-eating bunnies, or will he need to enlist the help of the Enterprise? Damn it, Jim! He's a doctor, not a pet shop owner! | January 13th, 2010 |
| 35 | Phelous Doesn't Care How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer | 18:09 | I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer?! What kind of title is that? "Generously" donated by Welshy, in this movie that's possibly pretending to be a spoof, a bullied cricket player systematically gets ironic revenge on his former teammates. Check your cup for nails and play ball... or whatever the hell cricket players say. | January 23, 2010 |
| 36 | Day of the Phail 2 | 21:31 | Due to the magic of legal rights, Phelous is forced to suffer through Day of the Dead 2: Contagium, a disjointed prequel-sequel appropriately taking place in a mental hospital, featuring the typical zombies you'd expect. Zombies with mild skin conditions and telepathic powers. Tonight, we sleep. | February 10th, 2010 |
| 37 | Phetomatous Transfusion | 20:31 | It's zombie time once again as Phelous reviews Automaton Transfusion, a pointless and plot-less "Part 1" of a planned trilogy. Your typical band of unlikables fight zombies of mysterious origin, while being obnoxious asshats. Featuring a cameo by Skitch playing the overworked sound composer. (Wait, how is that any different from normal?) | February 17th, 2010 |
| 38 | Mortal Komedy Holiday Special 4 - Part 1 and 2 | 12:03, 13:13 | The fourth Mortal Komedy Holiday special. | February 25th, 2010 |
| 39 | Phetelous Semetary Two | 20:18 | What happens when you bury a copy of Pet Semetary at the cursed burial ground? It comes back as the shitty knock off movie, Pet Semetary 2. Marvel as the now widely known legend of the evil burial ground bring assholes back as immature zombies! Watch as everyone keeps having the same creepy dream about women with dog heads! Will John Conner be able to escape the torment of the bully who hates him for the unforgivable audacity of having a dead mother? This movie... was uncalled for. | March 3rd, 2010 |
| 40 | Night of the Living Phail 3D | 17:02 | It's scary what can happen when your copyrights end up turning your movie into public domain... take Night of the Living Dead 3D for example. It's a horrible remake of the original movie, where all of the original characters go through much less interesting versions of the same plot... all while living in a world where the original movie exists! But it's in 3D!... in 2D! | March 10th, 2010 |
| 41 | The Deaths of Phelous | 15:52 | How can one screw up such an interesting concept? Phelous reviews The Deaths of Ian Stone, a movie where the main character manages to die in a myriad of ways, only to live another life where he meets the same people in different roles. Too bad it's all just the plot of some arm-bladed mulleted monsters who are after him for completely vague and contradictory reasons. You're better off not remembering. | March 17th, 2010 |
| 42 | Cabin Phever 2 | 14:22 | What's Cabin Fever without Eli Roth? Surprisingly not any better. This unneeded sequel, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever stars Rider Strong who's killed of within 60 seconds in favor of another cast of unlikeables. This time it's in a high school! And party cop's back! ...why does this movie even exist? | March 24th, 2010 |
| 43 | Phelous and the Other Troll 3 | 21:54 | Sure, Cinema Snob may have been there first, but now it's Phelous's time to quest for the mighty sword with the other Troll 3. Ator, son of Ator, must... do something. Does this move even have a coherent plot? Phelous gives a different view of the bleh-pic saga. Cameo by Cinema Snob. | March 31st, 2010 |
| 44 | Phevil Phead Phreelous | 6:21 | It's time Phelous finally shined the light on that awful "Evil Dead 3" movie. I wonder why this review is so short... | April 7th, 2010 |
| 45 | Transformers - Prime's Death Take 2 (parody) | Phelous does his take on the death of Optimus Prime in the first Transformers movie! | April 14th, 2010 | |
| 46 | Hostel Phostel | 15:31 | Everyone's favorite gore-porn director Eli Roth is back with his |
April 21st, 2010 |
| 47 | Hostel Phostel Part 2 | 16:07 | Everyone's favorite gore-porn director Eli Roth is back with his |
April 28th, 2010 |
| 48 | Hostel 1 and 2 in 5 seconds | 1:22 | Like the Mac and Me in 3 Minutes review, Phelous recaps the epic saga of his two Hostel reviews in the same manic, chair-toppling style. Featuring sped-up music that apparently earns him no stars and makes him the scum of the earth! Guest starring Kyna Porteous in a really clever joke. (Found on the site under "5 Second Movies") | May 5th, 2010 |
| 49 | Phelous is on Death Row | 19:29 | When a group of documentary makers meet a group of criminals in a prison haunted by smoky ghosts, trouble is afoot! Shudder in terror as you hear "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and fear for lives of the unlikable characters as they passively react to the improbable carnage around them. Will Phelous be able to survive a trip to Death Row or will this be- (end credits) | May 12th, 2010 |
| 50 | Year Two: Cinema Snob & Phelous - Troll 4 | 22:18 | Phelous and Brad Jones attempt to talk about Troll 4 but get interrupted by the TGWTG team. Part of the Year Two event. | May 19th, 2010 |
| 51 | Year Two: Benzaie & Phelous - Humains | 22:13 | Phelous and Benzaie take on the French movie, Humains. (Translation: Humans) A group of anthropologists search for signs of modern day living Neanderthals. When they find them, they react as any scientists who've just proven a theory would... terrified and irrational. | May 27th, 2010 |
| 52 | The Reaplous | 19:35 | When a small town is afflicted with the Ten Plagues of Egypt, it's up the the next Karate Kid to debunk this "miracle" and it's up to Phelous to show us the truth behind the The Reaping. Is it another lame "scary kid" movie, a weak end-of-the-world plot, or a broken conspiracy thriller? Wake up from your dream within a dream within a dream and find out... dot com. | June 3rd, 2010 |
| 53 | Phost Shit | 16:55 | When the entire crew and passengers of the Not-Titanic are wiped out by physics-warping tragedy, it's up to the world's best salvage crew to board the Ghost Ship and die in easily avoidable traps. Search for gold, make out with ghosts, and collect souls for upper management! | June 9th, 2010 |
| 54 | Dawn of the Phailing Dead | 19:09 | It's not Curse of the Maya! |
June 16th, 2010 |
| 55 | Phelous's Open Grave | 15:45 | Before Jumanji had a chance to rip itself off with Zathura, there came along an honest to badness horror rip-off, Open Graves. Phelous draws the movie's cards and seals his fate! Will he win in time to wish he never played?... Before Jumanji had a chance... (Cameo by Punky) | June 23rd, 2010 |
| 56 | Turislous | 17:11 | Phelous breaks his time loop just in time to review Turistas. What if Hostel took place in Brazil? What if the characters were bland instead of unlikeable? What if nothing really happened? That's Turistas, "the movie that's better then Hostel!" -Source: A box | June 30th, 2010 |
| 57 | DotCom For Phelous | 21:45 | When Phelous is murdered at the beginning of the review for once, SadPanda and Sean look into who did it...kinda... as the next Phelous takes over the review of DotCom for Murder. Will random musical celebrities be able to solve the mystery of a magical hacker who nerd-rage kills people over the internet? And who really killed Phelous? | July 7th, 2010 |
| 58 | Pulselous | 17:01 | Louie the Lightning Bug foretold of this disaster. Considered to be the world's most terrifying movie if you're Amish, 1988's Pulse deals with the deep seated fear we all have... What if electricity became sentient and tried to kill you?! ...wait what? Phelous deals with the shocking truth (lolpun) of this apparent "cult classic". | July 15th, 2010 |
| 59 | Troll 4 Commentary | 22:11 | Commentary for the Year Two crossover! | July 17th, 2010 |
| 60 | Pulselous Again | 21:28 | Get behind the wheel with Phelous as we tiredly drive through the night into 2003's Pulse a.k.a. "Octane". When a mother and her extremely bitchy daughter go on a night-time road trip, they find themselves stalked by a woman they'd seen at an accident and a weird hippie hitchhiker girl. Nothing is as cool as it might seem! Slit your tongue and pucker up for this no-octane, pulse-less non-thriller! | July 21st, 2010 |
| 61 | PulselousDotCom.Com | 20:21 | Make sure to adjust your computer's antenna, it's time to set into 2006's Pulse. Oddly enough, a remake of a 2002 Japanese Horror movie, and not the 80's movie, Pulse deals with staticy internet ghosts that can download your soul. Grab a roll of red tape, and dive into this poorly-paced world wide weaksauce. (Featuring JewWario in a DOWNLOADING YOUR FACE CAMEO!) | July 28th, 2010 |
| 62 | Pulselous 2 | 19:08 | Hope you've got some red tape left over, it's time for Pulse 2. Apparently third Pulse is the charm as this is a direct sequel to the 2006 movie... kinda. I guess... When the world is desperately trying to escape technology while a whiny unfit mother is on the search for the daughter she tried to kill, it's up to Phelous to Chroma Key his way through this movie's nonsensical plot. Prepare for more static! | August 4th, 2010 |
| 63 | Pulselousdotcom.com 3 | 24:47 | Ready to cut through the red tape? It's time for Pulse 3! A direct continuation to Pulse 2, Pulse 3 follows the events of the daughter from the first movie, all grown up and ready to finish the internet ghosts once and for all! No, wait, she wants to help them... and bring back her murderous, neglectful mother... this IS a sequel, right? (Featuring Angry Joe in a staticy cameo!) | August 11th, 2010 |
| 64 | Doctor Phulse | 14:38 | Need a name for your movie? Call it "Pulse"! This Pulse is a 2010 British made-for-TV movie about incompetent doctors infecting patients and breeding zombies for the sake of curing...something. Put a bandage on your infected wound and get ready for YET another Pulse! (Cameo by Film Brain) | August 18th, 2010 |
| 65 | Phatal Pulselous | 20:27 | Phelous leaves the pulse movies behind and heads back to the 80's to do a movie where Pulse merely appears in the title. Fatal Pulse, a lame slasher where a misguided doctor is killing sorority girls in order to cure a disease... somehow. Witness comic relief so bad, Phelous didn't even have to add in the goofy sound effects! Just remember records are the deadliest weapons known to man. | August 25th, 2010 |
| 66 | Phinculous | 20:19 | Finally out of the Pulse pit (kinda), Phelous tackles Incubus. When an apparently psychic Tara Reid and her group of moronic friends decide to seek shelter in a deserted research facility, they come across a nearly naked tube man who is able to possess people once they fall asleep. Marvel at the haphazard plot as it fills itself with holes, and lapses of logic. Nothing better then a horror movie where "just leaving" is a completely viable option! | September 1st, 2010 |
| 67 | Silent Phelous: Homecoming | 13:24 | Prepare to stab the shit out of Silent Hill's reputation with a three hit combo from your trusty combat knife! Back with another game review, Phelous weighs in on why Silent Hill: Homecoming was such a disappointment. To hell with your spoilers, see why Alex's delusion about being a combat soldier made no sense, and why trying to go for another "Silent Hill 2 Ending" was just a cheap cop-out. | September 8th, 2010 |
| 68 | Resident Evil: Afterlife Rant | 27:33 | Phelous rants about the comedy hit of the decade. Expect a full review when this "#1 movie in America" hits DVD. | September 12, 2010 |
| 69 | Phelous is on Case 39 | 21:31 | It's time to crack open Case 39. Preferably with a sledgehammer. When a social worker is signed to investigate a family where the little girl from the Silent Hill movie is being apparently abused, she ends up taking her into her care, only to find out there's more going then than she thought. Watch the plot holes appear before your very eyes as this dime-a-dozen, straight to video, "scary kid" movie annoys you into fearing it. Grab some ice cream and enjoy! | September 15th, 2010 |
| 70 | Anaconda | 15:10 | Snake. Why did it have to be snake? Phelous wrestles with Anaconda. When a failed priest leads a documentary crew through the jungle, they find themselves being inexplicably chased by a giant anaconda. It's hip-hop stars vs. Jon Voight vs. Bad CGI in this baffling hit. Grab some ice cubes, and chill out because this review don't cost a thing! | September 22nd, 2010 |
External Links