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One Tin Soldier
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Date Aired
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October 29, 2016
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Running Time
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17:22
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Todd plays "One Tin Soldier" on the piano in organ setting
COVEN - ONE TIN SOLDIER
A one-hit wonder retrospective
Todd: Greetings, boils and ghouls, and welcome to yet another One Hit Wonderland Spooktacular Edition! Yes, I do still have requests, but they are on hold because it's Halloween! Couldn't do this last year 'cause I thought I had run out of ideas, and there aren't very many Halloween-themed one-hit wonders. [Promo pic of the Cramps and album cover of GWAR - Carnival of Chaos] There are, of course, horror-themed bands, but they tend to be no-hit wonders. But one of my fans of Twitter—thank you, @DocScotticus—they actually did find one for me. A serious, [pic of Coven] no-shit, devil-worshiping band dating back to the dawn of heavy metal. That's right, one of the original shock rock bands: Coven!
- Video of live performance of "Wicked Woman" (actually recording of song dubbed over)
- Jinx Dawson: Wicked woman
- You go to Hell
Todd (VO): Yes, today, we are covering a full-on witchcraft-themed band who would hold actual [picture of Jinx reading onstage] Satanic masses on its stage, and fronted by a woman, which is rare even now, let alone in the late '60s.
Todd: Cool, right? Now, Coven is a pretty obscure band, and...
Todd (VO): in fact, this is literally the only video footage I could find of them; there's just not a lot out there. I had to dig pretty hard for this one. But back in 1971, they did actually manage to creep into the Top 40...
Todd: ...with a song about one of metal's favorite subjects: [flashes the horn] war!
- Clip of Black Sabbath - "War Pigs"
- Ozzy Osbourne: Generals gathered in their masses
Todd (VO): I mean, who needs ghouls and goblins when the real world provides such terrors on its own, right? From Sabbath to Slayer, [clips of Metallica - "One" and System of a Down - "BYOB"] from Iron Maiden to System of a Down, the real-life horrors of war have always inspired metal's darkest, bloodiest, most chilling music.
Todd: So put on your facepaint, light some candles, draw a pentagram on the floor, and prepare to get your faces rocked on this Devil's Night, as we listen to Coven's biggest hit: "One...Tin...Soldier"!
- Video for "One Tin Soldier." In the first few seconds, Todd lowers the horns in the shock of hearing something not metal at all.
- Jinx: Listen, children, to a story
- That was written long ago
- 'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
- And the valley folks below.
Todd: What...what is this? What am I listening to?
- Jinx: Go ahead and hate your neighbor
- Go ahead and cheat a friend
- Do it in the name of heaven
Todd (VO): This...this...what...this isn't metal. This...this is folk, protest, hippie shit. Is this a cartoon? Is this from a kids' show?!
Todd: Where's the blood?! Where's the devil worship?!
- Jinx: On the bloody morning after
- One tin soldier rides away
Todd: [uh...] Happy Halloween? Why can't I have this one thing?! That's all I ask for, one... [Buries his face in his hands]
- Jinx: There won't be any trumpets blowing
Before the hit
Transcript in progress