Old vs. New: King Kong

Old vs New King Kong
Date Aired	April 28th, 2010
Running Time	18:42
Website	http://www.tgwtg.com

Nostalgic Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to! And welcome to another edition of Old vs New.

The title card is shown, featuing an old man crossing his cane with a little boy's baseball bat, as dramatic music plays and lightning strikes.

NC: Who would have thought a story about a... giant monkey who falls in love with a woman, climbs buildings and smashes dinosaurs could be considered as classic?

Footage of original King Kong is shown along with the main theme of it

NC (Voiceover): Well, King Kong certainly was. When it was released in 1933, it captured the world's interest with its groundbreaking effects and a timeless story about what happened when two threatening natures collide. Since then there has been several remakes but they're such donkeys. And none of them has been considered on part with the original. That is untill 2005 when Peter Jackon took a shot of telling the story. This is the only version that people say it's not only as good as the original but possibly better. But can it truly outdue the classic? Is there really enough there to keep it fresh and new while staying true to the original?

NC: Well, let's find out! I.. never thought I'd be putting the position to say this but it's monkey versus money here on Nostalgia Critic! This is Old versus New King Kong!

The opening sequence plays as we see pictures of the main characters from both movies fly into the jungle, while the theme songs of both movies play side by side.

NC: Well, we can't tell this beauty and the beast story without our beauty!

Picture of Kong is shown.

NC (Voiceover): That is not the beauty. For most of us.

NC: I'm talking about our main actress who happens to play... the main actress. This is our Best Leading Lady.

Round 1 - Best Leading Lady

Footages of the leading lady from both movies are shown.

NC (Voiceover): Now both of these films have good charismatic actresses. Each has to have her charming personality and good looks to match in order to tame the beast. They are certainly different though. In the original, the character Ann Darrow is played by Fay Wray, who is constantly told that she doesn't belong on board.

Ann Darrow (1933): I wish you wouldn't keep harping on that. It's very mean of you.

Driscoll (1993): Woman, women can't help being a bother. They're made that way I guess.

The scene pauses and bright red word, Douche appears on Driscoll along with the voiceover of NC saying the word.

NC (Voiceover): Despite that though, she still keeps her optimistic point of view.

Ann Darrow (1933): Don't you think the Skipper is a sweet old lamb?

Driscoll (1933) (Laughing): I'd hate to have him hear me say so.

NC (Voiceover): In the newer version she's played by Naomi Watts, who's a little more welcomed down the ship.so she doesn't have to defend herself as much.

Herb: I say what a lovely dress.

Ann Darrow (2005): Oh! This old thing! I just threw it on.

NC (Voiceover): Both have to play the classic screaming damsel in distress and in terms of traditional screamers, Fay Wray is probably a little bit closer. But what portray has a little bit more edge to it? In the original, King Kong just sort of likes Darrow. And even though they make her very positive and energenic, all she does around Kong is screaming.

Clips of Fay Wray as Ann Darrow screaming is played.

NC (Voiceover): Granted we don't want to see anything bad happen to her but she doesn't do anything that would make Kong really like her. The newer one has to work for her to survive. It's indicated that Kong has killed dozens of sacrifices in the past, but because of her performance training, she's able to actually entertain Kong.

Jackson Version: Kong pushes Ann over and over. Ann resists.

NC (Voiceover): But even she has her limits.

Ann Darrow (2005): No! I said no! That's all there is.

NC (Voiceover): She's standing up to a ten story gorilla! That takes BALLS!...or ovaries, i don't know, but it takes a lot of them! Because of this, the newer version truly does have a better lead. She is just more interesting and takes more chances. The original is good too. You really do like her and don't wanna see her in danger but the scream just gets a little old after a while.

More clips of Fay Wray as Ann Darrow screaming is shown.

NC: Yeah, Scream some more. Maybe they'll finally go away.

Another clip of Fay Wray and Ann Darrow screaming. A clip of a comedy show where two men scream is shown.

NC: Point goes to the new.

Ann Darrow (1933): Oh dear. I thought everything was going so nicely.

Round 1 Winner - King Kong 2005 Version

NC: But what about the supporting casts? Do they match up just as well as the lead? Well, here's the little people who literally got stepped on to make it to the top.

Round 2 - Best Supporting Cast

NC (Voiceover): Let's start with the romantic one. In the original he's played by Bruce Cabot. A rough and gruff sailor who doesn't like the idea of women being on board his ship. Now why would that be?

A clip of African American sailors singing is shown.

NC (Voiceover): No, that's not it. In fact he actually ends up falling in love with her. Even if it is pretty... sporadic.

Driscoll (1933): if anything happened to you.

Ann Darrow (1933): Why then you wouldn't be bothered with a woman on board.

Driscoll (1933): Ann, I guess I love you.

NC: I've only known you for five minutes, but... if a giant gorilla comes from the trees and steals you away, I think you're the one.

NC (Voiceover): And granted some of the dialogue is a little hopy too. In fact they even make fun of them in the remake. The lines they shoot from the movie are actually identical to the ones they say in the original. Except in the original, that was supposed to be the real dialogue.

Ann Darrow (1933): I think this is awfully exciting. I've never been on a ship before.

Driscoll (1933): I’ve never been on one with a woman before.

Clip from new version is shown.

Ann Darrow (2005): I think this is awfully exciting! I’ve never been on a ship before.

Bruce Baxter (2005): I’ve never been on one with a woman before.

NC (Voiceover): But for all the stereotypical machoness, he actually is pretty likable. Sort of a tough guy with a soft heart sort of thing.

Ann Darrow (1933): Well, I was a little scared.

Driscoll (1933): Huh! I guess you weren't the only one.

NC (Voiceover): In the new one, we get Adrien Brody, who is STRAIGHT UP BORING.

Jack Driscoll (2005): It was pure effluence.

Bruce Baxter (2005): I beefed up the banter...

Jack Driscoll (2005): Try to resist that impulse.

NC (Voiceover): I'm sorry but he's just not interesting. I know they're trying to downplay the hero aspect and make him look like a normal boring guy, but you can still make him an interesting boring guy... if that makes any sense.

Jack Driscoll (2005): Why would I write a play for you? Isn’t it obvious? Well, it’s in the sub-text.

NC: My god, you're dull.

NC (Voiceover): What about the crazy director who takes them on his voyage? Again I prefer the original one played by Robert Armstrong. Mostly because if you looked at him, you wouldn't guess that he is an eccentric thrill seeker. He's very professional, and sort of keeps to himself which produces a character a lot more mystery.

Weston (1933): But you've got a reputation for recklessness that can't be glossed over. And then you're so secretive.

Carl Denham (1933): Good lord, you talk as if I never brought anybody back alive!

NC (Voiceover): When you see him, you think sort of a mad genius. A guy who can convince you to jump off the cliff if it would make the shot look good.

Ann Darrow (1933): What do I have to do?

Carl Denham (1933): Just trust me. And keep your chin up.

NC (Voiceover): He's very smooth, even if he is batshit insane. Jack Black, on the other hand is a little too obvious. He always has his eyes bugging out and always seems to talk in an intense manner.

Preston (2005): No Carl, you can’t do this!

Carl Denham (2005): Tell ‘em the studio’s pressured us into an early departure.

Preston (2005): It’s not ethical!

Carl Denham (2005): What are they gonna do - sue me? Huh?

NC (Voiceover): Now granted a lot of directors do act like that.

A clip from Lost in Translation is shown.

Director (in Japanese): Cut! Cut! What difference does it make! Makes no difference! Don't have time for that! Got it, Bob-san? Just psych yourself up, and quick! Look straight at the camera. At the camera. And slowly. With passion. Straight at the camera. And in your eyes there's... passion. Got it?

Translator: More intensivlely.

Director (in Japanese): *Suntory* time.

NC (Voiceover): Before avoiding this crazy, you have to have the ability to convice people and make them trust you. But I don't get there from Black. I don't think anyone would go with him on a crazy voyage. I don't know. Maybe I just can't trust anyonw who is in Biodome. That would take anybody's reliability from me. The rest of the crew in the new version though are pretty memorable. I liked Andy Serkis's cut though cook.

Lumpy (2005): The castaway - he spoke of a creature, neither beast nor man.

A clip of Popeye cartoon is shown.

Popeye: Yeah. Like, I can hardly wakes! NC (Voiceover): I thought that Hayes guy was pretty mysterious too. The rest of the crew in the original is pretty forgettable. You know, outside the obvious racial stereotypes. Chinese Sailor: My not see Missy one, two hour. Look sir! My found on deck. Englehorn: A native bracelet!

Chinese Sailor: Crazy black man's been here!

NC laughs awkwardly.

NC (Voiceover): Speaking of which, that tribe is silly looking nowadays, isn't it? I'm sure it was impressive back then but now it is just silly.