(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Obi-Wan Kenobi)
Doug (vo): Well, everybody had a thought about this. Obi-Wan was originally supposed to be a movie, but at some point, they decided, "Let's turn it into a Disney+ show." And so, we have this miniseries reuniting a lot of these actors, like Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen. And, I guess, people were all over the map with it. Some hated it, some loved it, some thought it was okay, leaning towards bad or okay, leaning towards good. I definitely have thoughts on it, but before I say what they are, I should make it clear, I don't think this destroys anything Star Wars, I don't think this saves anything Star Wars. Honestly, you could skip this, watch it, whatever, and I don't think your opinion on the entire series is gonna change. So keep that in mind, 'cause I know Star Wars fans can get really passionate. With that said... (Speaks in a laughing mood) ...oh, my God! I thought this was bad...but I mean bad in the best way. I felt like I was watching a Shyamalan production. The acting, the writing, the storytelling, even the blocking... (A shot of two bounty hunters chasing after a young Princess Leia is shown) How can no one catch up to this kid?! Look at this! She's running, like, a centimeter per minute, and everybody's like, "Oh, she's too fast! I can't get her!" (Starts to laugh, but quickly stops) Okay, okay, I should calm down. I'm sorry, this show brought me a lot of joy. Literally, the first shot of this had me cracking up.
(The show's prologue scene is shown, showing a group of Younglings training in the Jedi Temple)
Doug (vo): You see this peaceful city and all these little Jedi Younglings doing, like, what looks like interpretive dance and peaceful music. And then, in the same shot...
(The peaceful mood is disrupted when two Stormtroopers suddenly come in and start firing at the Younglings, who try to run and escape. Doug cracks up laughing)
Doug (vo): I know that's supposed to be horrific, and on paper, maybe it is, but something about the way this was laid out is just the perfect amount of off.
Premise[]
Doug (vo): The show takes place after Revenge of the Sith but before A New Hope, and follows Obi-Wan Kenobi, who's put himself in exile. Little does he know, though, that Inquisitors...yeah, I think this is actually the first time we get to see them in live-action...are hunting down the rest of the Jedi and anyone that's Force-sensitive, and getting roped into the mix is a 10-year-old Princess Leia, who's been kidnapped. Her parents go to Obi-Wan, saying, well, "he's our only hope", but wouldn't you know, Darth Vader catches wind of this, voiced again by James Earl Jones...kinda. I'm pretty convinced they did something to his voice, like maybe what they did with Luke in Boba Fett...I don't know, I actually thought it sounded okay...and it appears they're gonna meet again at last again.
Review[]
Doug (vo): Okay, so, before I get into the fun stuff, I should probably point out, as you would assume, this does not tie in well to the continuity. To be fair, you're probably used to that by now, but I feel like even to the average fan, they can clearly see stuff that doesn't add up.
(A clip from A New Hope is shown, showing Luke and Obi-Wan listening to Princess Leia's message on R2-D2)
Princess Leia: General Kenobi, years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars.
(A shot of Obi-Wan hanging out with a young Leia is shown)
Doug (vo): Oh, and also a life-changing adventure, but I didn't expect you to remember that part.
(Another clip from A New Hope is shown, showing Darth Vader facing off against Obi-Wan)
Darth Vader: When I left you, I was but the learner.
(A shot of Darth Vader Force-pulling Obi-Wan into fire is shown)
Doug (vo): Uh, didn't look like that to me.
(Yet another clip from A New Hope is shown, showing Vader speaking with Grand Moff Tarkin)
Grand Moff Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi? Surely, he must be dead by now.
Darth Vader: Don't underestimate the Force.
(A shot of Vader speaking with Emperor Palpatine is shown)
Doug (vo; mimics Palpatine): Oh, I guess we were aware of that for years, but I never read the emails. (Speaks normally) It's just funny how some Star Wars properties can really fix the faults of the past, and then others can somehow make them worse. But that's nitpicking, and again, I feel like you're used to that.
(Various clips resume showing)
Doug (vo): Let's get to the real meat of it. This production feels rushed, and I'm not talking about the special effects or anything like that, they're okay. I'm talking about everything else. The writing in this makes no sense. There's all these complicated plans that people are trying to get, like, double crosses and triple crosses and stuff, and when you really add it up, it doesn't add up in the slightest, like, in a hilarious way. But no biggie if you're sucked into these timeless characters, and these characters not only make the dumbest choices, but their acting is so bizarrely off.
(Clips focusing on Owen Lars and Tala Durith are shown)
Doug (vo): There's two actors that got out of this unscathed. One is the actor that played Uncle Owen [Joel Edgerton]. I mean, he didn't have much, but everything he said had this real weight to it, like, I totally believed him. The other was this Rebel spy who was working in the Empire. She's another one that didn't have a ton to do, but everything she said, you can just feel the history behind, and why she was doing this and what she believed in. It really came across in her performance.
(Footage focusing on Obi-Wan Kenobi is shown)
Doug (vo): Everyone else is laughably bad, even Ewan McGregor. Like, he was one of the few aspects in the prequels that was always pretty good, but here, aside from a few moments, he just looks so lost. And I know, I guess, that's part of the character, but there's a way you can play lost in a way that looks like it's intentional. This really looks like he just doesn't know how to feel in each scene, or how to say his line in each scene. But he's nothing compared to everyone else.
(Footage focusing on Princess Leia is shown)
Doug (vo): This poor little kid playing Leia, I hope she has the best career and she gets some sort of great script and great director and, I don't know, good producers, something, that's just gonna turn her into a megastar, or maybe she'll find something else where she'll be, like, this successful businesswoman or something, I don't know. But, man, here, she doesn't work at all. I don't believe one thing she says.
Leia: (various scenes) You think the less you say, the less you give away. / Where's the army? / Maybe it's because you're not really a Jedi. / Since I met you, I've been chased, shot at, I almost fell to my death. / You think being like him will make people frightened of you, but really, you're the one who's scared.
Doug (vo): Yeah, that...that's how kids talk.
(Footage focusing on the Inquisitors is shown)
Doug (vo): But even she's not the funniest. These Inquisitors, it's like they told every single one of them, "Say your lines in the most ridiculous way."
Fifth Brother: You are not in charge here.
Grand Inquisitor: Kenobi is the last ember of a dying age.
Reva/Third Sister: Send out the probes! Do it!
(Clips focusing on the show's primary antagonist, Reva, are shown)
Doug (vo): The most believable out of all of them is probably the Third Sister and she has the biggest role, but even she's not that great. She has this weird way, like everyone, of saying her lines, where she'll sometimes say her stuff, again, almost like it's a question, but then just randomly yell, and it never sounds convincing.
(Various clips resume showing)
Doug (vo): And this is really bizarre, because the director is a really good director. This is a person who has done Better Call Saul, Jessica Jones, Mr. Robot, even Mandalorian, so she has experience with Star Wars. The only thing I could put together, and this is just a guess, is that because it was gonna be a movie and they stretched it out to a show, she directed all the episodes, 'cause, I don't know, maybe she was gonna direct the movie or something. But that's pretty rare with a show. Even the show's creator, if you look at a lot of these shows, they have a bunch of different showrunners and directors and so forth, it's very rare that one person directs an entire season of something. And this whole production has a feel like it was mad-rushed, like they just didn't have time to do a second or third take.
(One scene of Obi-Wan, Leia, and Tala attempting to sneak out of the Inquisitors' lair is shown, along with a clip from Austin Powers in Goldmember)
Doug (vo): Maybe it was the same with the script, because one of the scenes has them sneaking out little Leia in a giant trenchcoat. Look, it's Austin Powers and Mini-Me. (Laughs) Just, you can't believe you're watching this!
(Clips focusing on Darth Vader is shown, as well as some of the show's moments where Hayden Christensen plays Anakin, and some clips focusing on the Inquisitors' lair and Obi-Wan's final conversation with Leia)
Doug (vo): But, okay, does anything in this show work? Yeah, there are a few things. It is pretty cool hearing Darth Vader's voice with James Earl Jones again, because I think the last time I heard him was probably Rogue One and he sounded a little weird. Here, even though, again, I'm pretty sure they're manipulating his voice somehow, it still sounds good. Most of the shots of the Empire look pretty cool. They do have this real intimidation to them. It was kind of cool seeing that underwater base that I'm pretty sure I saw in Jedi: Fallen Order. I do really like what Ewan McGregor says to the children at the end, too. I guess I won't give too much away, but it's acted well and it is written well. Hayden Christensen's return isn't bad, but it's not really good either. This is actually one of the few times I'm shocked they didn't do any de-aging effects, because it does really stand out in the flashbacks. And the other time you see him is just with this big crack in the helmet, which is completely ripping off Star Wars Rebels, which it's impossible not to think back to that and how much better that was handled. That gave me chills, this gave me flashbacks to when I got chills, and disappointment that I'm not feeling it here. But it's okay. The Emperor tells him, "Don't think about it. Just...ah, who cares?" Like... (Laughs) ...what? What? This is, like, the most powerful Jedi who knows who you are and just, like, whupped your ass alive! And... "Ah, who cares? I don't know. I'm the Emperor. Power! No. Do it."
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): Oh...oh...I, I can't. Yes, I can. What am I talking about? I love this show. The only other thing I'll remark on is that some people think this is a send-up to the prequels, and that it's intentionally bad. And the more I thought about it, there are some things that add up there. You have plot points that don't add up, stilted acting, a bad child actor, laughably awkward writing. It does check out a little bit. But that'd be kind of like saying, "Hey, we're gonna do an Avatar show, but we're gonna make it like the Last Airbender movie." That doesn't really seem to make sense. But for what it's worth, if you enjoy this show, awesome. Like I said, I don't think it's something where if you like it, you're betraying the franchise or anything like that, 'cause I don't think there's really anything damaging in this. It does about as much harm as the prequels do. I mean, we still have the original trilogy there, and it's fine, I can still watch it and enjoy it, it doesn't destroy that. It's just...funny to me. I'm sorry. I can't help it. It cracks me up. If you have fun with it, fair enough. I mean, there's a fine lesson at the end, and I'm sure people that grew up with the prequels like seeing these actors together once more. For me, personally, I had a great time...just not in the way I think most people were expecting. (The shot of Obi-Wan hiding Leia in a coat while sneaking out is shown again as Doug begins chuckling) A giant coat, man. A giant coat.
(A scene showing Obi-Wan watching over Luke's homestead from afar is shown)