Nostalgia Critic: Top 11 Movies I'll NEVER Review
August 22, 2011
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**Note: this was filmed in 2011, and a movie or two may have been reviewed since then.


(Doug sitting in his office chair addressing the camera)

Doug (vo): Hello everybody, Doug Walker here uh, it's a little rainy outside but, Chicago's very slowly turning into Seattle recently so I'm just gonna film anyway. Uh... this video is mainly gonna talk about, uh, the top 11 Nostalgia Critic reviews that I will not do because I get a lot of requests, a lot of people ask, uh, me to review a lotta stuff and, for, the reasons I'm gonna explain right now, I don't wanna do them; I don't think they're worth doing. So uh, sort of taking a page from the uh, book of Linkara here I'm going to count down the top 11 reviews that I as the Nostalgia Critic will not do. I decided not to do this as a Nostalgia Critic video because, I don't know, there's, better reviews that I think I can do, so I'm just sort of doing it as myself and just sort of telling you, uh, which ones I don't think are really worth doing so, why waste any time, let's get started.

(A drawing of Doug's face is shown as the title is shown. This image will serve as the countdown's interlude)


Doug (vo): Number 11 -- Watership Down


Doug (vo): Number 10 -- A Goofy Movie


Doug (vo): Number 9 -- The Spiderman Cartoon

[The cartoon's intro is shown]

Doug (vo): Now, I'll admit...I hate this cartoon, this is one of those cartoons that came out the same time as X-Men and Batman...

Doug: ...and then this piece of shit comes along and, it's trying to, it's trying to do what they're doing but it's doing it so horribly it feels like, one of the cartoons from like the 60's where there's no pacing, there's no good timing. The dialogue is really lame, and it just tries to throw a ton at you, without letting any of it really sink in.


Doug (vo): Number 8 -- Attack of the Killer Tomatoes/Killer Klowns from Outer Space


Doug (vo): Number 7 -- Toys


Doug (vo): Number 6 -- The Nutcracker Starring The Care Bears*


*Note: This is the movie Doug would eventually review as the Nostalgia Critic during December 2014.


Doug (vo): Number 5 -- Cats Don't Dance


Doug (vo): Number 4 -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3

[Clips of the movie play briefly]

Doug (vo): Shortest explanation in the world: James Rolfe did it. He did it great. He addressed every single solitary little thing wrong with it. There's nothing new I can bring. Next one.


Doug (vo): Number 3 -- The Brave Little Toaster

Doug: Again... w...t...I like this movie!

[Clips from the movie play]

Doug (vo):


Doug (vo): Number 2 -- Anything Sonic Related


Doug (vo): And the number 1 thing I will never do a Nostalgia Critic review on is... Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

[Clips of the The Phantom Menace play out]

Doug (vo): And I know! I know there's a ton of things to make fun of, I know there's a ton of things that I can point out and say is wrong and stuff like that, here's the thing:

Doug: Everybody's done it.


Doug: ...there it is guys those are the top 11 Nostalgia Critic episodes I will never do, I will never review, I have no interest in doing them at all, SO STOP ASKING! Now you know what's gonna happen; I'm gonna, I'm gonna get all sorts of new, other, reviews to constantly, ask, to do well, okay, and then I'll make another top 11 list so...there it is guys thank you for watching I hope you enjoyed and uhm, that's it. Take care.


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