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NeverEnding Story III

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Bastian: The Auryn is the necklace of the Childlike Empress, the ruler of all Fantasia. The NeverEnding Story.
 
Bastian: The Auryn is the necklace of the Childlike Empress, the ruler of all Fantasia. The NeverEnding Story.
   
NC: (points at him) You're crazy.
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NC: (points at him) [https://mlp.fandom.com/wiki/Party_of_One You're crazy.]
   
 
NC: (VO) So after hearing his ''Dungeons and Dragons'' wet dreams, she locks herself in her room and tries to cope with the situation.
 
NC: (VO) So after hearing his ''Dungeons and Dragons'' wet dreams, she locks herself in her room and tries to cope with the situation.
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Other high school student: (also clearly played by an adult) Is he for real?
 
Other high school student: (also clearly played by an adult) Is he for real?
   
NC: (VO) Well, that depends. Do you believe two obvious thirty-year-olds tying to play HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS is for real?
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NC: (VO) Well, that depends. Do you believe two obvious thirty-year-olds tying to play [[High School Musical|HIGH SCHOOL]] STUDENTS is for real?
   
 
Bastian: Where's the men's room? Nicole, I gotta get this stuff out of my hair.
 
Bastian: Where's the men's room? Nicole, I gotta get this stuff out of my hair.
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NC: Okay, hold it, hold it, hold it. We gotta go back and do bullet points, 'cause there's just too many things wrong with this scene! First off... (points to Slip, the leader of Nasties, played by...) That's Jack Black. (hits his hat) WHAT?! Second...
 
NC: Okay, hold it, hold it, hold it. We gotta go back and do bullet points, 'cause there's just too many things wrong with this scene! First off... (points to Slip, the leader of Nasties, played by...) That's Jack Black. (hits his hat) WHAT?! Second...
   
NC: (VO) Why would an entire school literally run away from a group of bullies? What, did they stuff their pants with TNT or something?
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NC: (VO) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premonition_(2007_film) Why would an entire school] literally run away from a group of bullies? What, did they stuff their pants with TNT or something?
   
 
NC: Third... (points to Slip again) that's Jack Black. (hits his hat again) WHAT?! Fourth...
 
NC: Third... (points to Slip again) that's Jack Black. (hits his hat again) WHAT?! Fourth...
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Mr. Jones: Principal said the next time he catches yous down here, he'd have you's all expelled.
 
Mr. Jones: Principal said the next time he catches yous down here, he'd have you's all expelled.
   
NC: (VO) So Bastian knocks on the door and tells the janitor what happened, resulting in them getting expelled. Which leads us to where the story left off with Bastian finding the book. Kinda weird that he read all the things that he already knew happened to himself. But the bullies find him and continue to chase him down. (Bastian continues running) Hey, you know what I don't miss in this film? Fantasia. I don't miss it at all. The other films would've gotten there by now, but this film feels that taking its time to show us how teeth-grindingly boring our main character is is much more important. (zooming on the subtitle) Hell, the name of the blippin' film is "Escape from Fantasia"!'' ''They should've called it'' "''Trying to Get to Fucking Fantasia"!
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NC: (VO) So Bastian knocks on the door and tells the janitor what happened, resulting in them getting expelled. Which leads us to where the story left off with Bastian finding the book. Kinda weird that he read all the things that he already knew happened to himself. But the bullies find him and continue to chase him down. (Bastian continues running) Hey, you know what I don't miss in this film? [[Fantasia]]. I don't miss it at all. The other films would've gotten there by now, but this film feels that taking its time to show us how teeth-grindingly boring our main character is is much more important. (zooming on the subtitle) Hell, the name of the blippin' film is "Escape from Fantasia"!'' ''They should've called it'' "''Trying to Get to Fucking Fantasia"!
   
 
Bastian: Help! Take me back to Fantasia! It's my story and I say I return to Fantasia to escape The Nasties!
 
Bastian: Help! Take me back to Fantasia! It's my story and I say I return to Fantasia to escape The Nasties!
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Bastian: Falkor, you did great!
 
Bastian: Falkor, you did great!
   
Falkor: (''now speaking with a simpleton voice'') Am I still in one piece?
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Falkor: (''now speaking with a simpleton voice'') [[Nicktoons|Am I still in one piece?]]
   
 
Bastian: We need a ride to Silver City to see the Empress.
 
Bastian: We need a ride to Silver City to see the Empress.
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NC: Phew! And we did it. We made it through ''The NeverEnding Story 3''. One of the worst sequels of all time. (sets his head down, exhausted, then gets back up) But on the bright side, the one thing I have to look forward to through all of this, is that I get to hear that classic ''NeverEnding Story'' song again. It was in the last two movies, it is my reward for WATCHING this torture, I deserve it. So, please... play the song.
 
NC: Phew! And we did it. We made it through ''The NeverEnding Story 3''. One of the worst sequels of all time. (sets his head down, exhausted, then gets back up) But on the bright side, the one thing I have to look forward to through all of this, is that I get to hear that classic ''NeverEnding Story'' song again. It was in the last two movies, it is my reward for WATCHING this torture, I deserve it. So, please... play the song.
   
(''Nope!'' ''Instead, The Rockbiter sings "Born to be Wild" over the end credits. NC first looks angry, then starts laughing hysterically. He continues to laugh as he gets up, leaves his house, gets in his car, drives to the Home Depot [in the ''rain'', yet!], buys a crowbar, drives home, and carefully sets the DVD case on his floor'')
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(''Nope!'' ''Instead, The Rockbiter sings "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g01ud9TUtIk Born to be Wild]" over the end credits. NC first looks angry, then starts laughing hysterically. He continues to laugh as he gets up, leaves his house, gets in his car, drives to the Home Depot [in the ''rain'', yet!], buys a crowbar, drives home, and carefully sets the DVD case on his floor'')
   
NC: ''COCK-SUCKING WHORE!''
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NC: ''COCK-SUCKING [[Over the Hedge|WHORE!]]''
   
 
(''NC begins violently hitting the case and the DVD with the crowbar, smashing it to smithereens, and also spitting on them; the music playing in the background is Rosinni's'' The Storm from William Tell)
 
(''NC begins violently hitting the case and the DVD with the crowbar, smashing it to smithereens, and also spitting on them; the music playing in the background is Rosinni's'' The Storm from William Tell)
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