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Mr. T and the T-Force #3

At4w mr t and the t force 3 by mtc studios-d8ljmsq-1024x453.png

Released
March 16, 2015
Time
15:31
Previous
Next
Tagline
Mr. T continues to prove he's the best superhero in the universe... mostly by lecturing everyone and then breaking stuff.
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Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, (suddenly becomes excited as he spreads arms out) WHERE IT'S TIME FOR POWERHOUSE EXCITEMENT!!!

(There is an explosion and the words "POWERHOUSE EXCITEMENT" zoom in. Then cut to shots of Mr. T comics, while the theme for The A-Team plays in the background)

Linkara (v/o): While "The Technis Imperative" may be my favorite comic of all time, "Mr. T and the T-Fore #2" is one of, if not the greatest comic books ever made. Since it's so difficult to top that, we took a break last year from the T-Force and looked at a subpar A-Team comic. But now we're back again with the madness and glory! In case you've missed the previous issues...

Linkara: (holds up hand) And why the hell have you? I have a shiny website that has all the past episodes ready and waiting for you to check out, and this comic is awesomely stupid!

(Shots of the first two issues of "Mr. T and the T-Force" are shown as Linkara gives a recap)

Linkara (v/o): Mr. T, utilizing a variety of superpowers, goes around town, recruiting drug dealers against their will to become part of his T-Force, which seems to be both an organization and the source of his power. He also has a camera, which he uses to document illegal behavior before he beats up evildoers and their cars. In the last issue, he fought against an Incan cyborg who injected drugs into him that made him believe he was fighting demons in another dimension.

Linkara: Which isn't too far off from reality when it comes to Mr. T, let's be honest.

Linkara (v/o): But the Incan cyborg turned on his evil masters and fled with Mr. T to help him recover and tell his story to the camera. What new adventures are waiting for Mr. T this time?

Linkara: Well, let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "Mr. T and the T-Force #3" and find out! (smiles)

(AT4W title theme plays, and the title card has the title sequence for Mister T (the cartoon series) playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): We'll get to the cover in a second, but I think we need to talk about something real quick. As this is an issue of "Mr. T and the T-Force", naturally, it comes with a Mr. T trading card, AKA the most important part of any collector's edition comic. However, I must say that this is the first time I am very disappointed by said card! The past two cards featured a cover and a photo respectively and shiny text, whereas this one features a comic panel! And considering this cover has Mr. T kicking a dude in the chest while holding his camera of justice, this would make an excellent trading card!

Linkara: (holding the card in one hand and the comic in the other) I know I shouldn't be complaining, considering how rare it is we see a Mr. T trading card, but dammit, the rarity is what makes it special, and we deserve better!

Linkara (v/o): But yeah, isn't that an awesome cover? I think my only disappointment with it is that the coloring seems a little dark. It might just be because of the printing process they used, but I want to see this in a much brighter environment. Then again, given the glow behind Mr. T, maybe he actually absorbed all the light from the cover to use as some kind of attack. In fact, I bet that's what happened. Adding it to the count!

Mr. T Superpower Count: 15

Text: The future is NOW!

Linkara: I know it's just a motto for (points to comic) Now Comics, but I think sometimes we all need to remember that. This video was made in the year 2015, utilizing a digital camcorder for recording, it was placed online for thousands of people across the world to see, and technology is performing miracles every day to help people improve their lives. The future is now!

Linkara (v/o): We open with a guy waiting at a stoplight while talking on his car phone.

Linkara: See? Even in this comic, the future is now. He's on a car phone! It doesn't get more futuristic than that!

Linkara (v/o): However, two guys approach the car from either side.

Guy: Get out of that car, sucker.

Linkara: (as this guy) Your left taillight is out. If we don't fix that right now, you could get a ticket!

Linkara (v/o): The other guy smashes a window with a crowbar.

Linkara: Man, car salesmen are getting more and more aggressive.

Guy: I SAID get out of the car.

Linkara (v/o): Yes, because nothing will speed up his exit from the car than... punching him back into the car. But yeah, they toss him out and steal it. And I just realized that the dude with the crowbar is now sitting on all the glass shards from the window he broke. That must be super comfortable.

Thief: This is the last car on the list.

Linkara: I don't think this new remake of Gone In 60 Seconds is gonna do that well.

Linkara (v/o): The two bring the car to a massive garage full of other cars. The guys there say it'll be twenty minutes to check the registration on the car before they're paid, and sadly, we are robbed of the "check the registration" scene, instead just cutting to the two going to the boss, Mr. Gladstone, to ask for their money. Dude looks like a yellow-suited version of the Kingpin, although, in this panel, the suit in question is apparently footie pajamas since they extend around his feet. Anyway, he's kind of upset. Turns out the car they stole belonged to a prominent lawyer and there was blood on the seat.

Linkara: Not the lawyer's blood, mind you. I told you sitting in that glass was a mistake.

Linkara (v/o): And because of the potential heat this will bring down on them, he grabs the two and tosses them over the side of the garage, several stories up. I'd say it was to their deaths, but then Gladstone immediately tells another lackey...

Mr. Gladstone: Get them to a hospital.

Linkara: Well, the management sucks at this job, but at least they've got a great health plan.

Linkara (v/o): We cut to the next day, where two kids are fighting in the street with a crowd around them cheering them on. However, their fight is brought to a close by, of course, Mr. T.

Mr. T: Hey, brothers. Why are you two fightin' in the street?

Linkara: (as Mr. T) I taught you two to fight like Soul Calibur, not Street Fighter!

Fighter 1: He called me a punk!

(Cut to the obligatory shot of "Batman: Fortunate Son")

Batman: "Punk" is nothing but death...and crime...and the rage of the beast.

(Cut back to the Mr. T comic)

Fighter 2: He dissed my mother!

(Cut to a clip of Mr. T's Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool)

Mr. T: Wait a minute. Don't bring anyone's mother into this. She ain't here. If it wasn't for your mother, you wouldn't be here. So remember, when you put down one mother, you're putting down mothers all over the world.

(Back to the comic again)

Mr. T: Let me tell you guys somethin'. As long as you live, somebody's call you a bad name or two. Hey, they even talked about my mother.

Linkara: (as Mr. T) When they did, I gouged out their eyes and shoved them down their throats! The lesson is, don't you talk bad about Mr. T's mama.

Linkara (v/o): A bystander congratulates Mr. T on stopping the two, but Mr. T calls the guy out for not doing anything to stop the fight.

Man: What can I do? I'm no tough guy.

Mr. T: Just be there for your kids... Teach 'em to put their energy into studyin' instead of fightin'.

Linkara: (as Mr. T) That way, (makes a throwing motion) they throw books at each other instead of (clenches fist) fists! (stops as he realizes what he's saying) Wait... (looks away)

Linkara (v/o): Mr. T drags the kids to a local gym to teach them about boxing.

Mr. T: Once you learn to box, you won't feel like fightin'.

One of the kids: That don't make sense.

Linkara: (as Mr. T) I'll make it easy for you then: my other name's Clubber Lang! My prediction for you: (leans in close) pain.

Linkara (v/o): Actually, it's about teaching the kids the value of hard work and discipline so that the fighting they do won't be just because of schoolyard taunting.

Linkara: I'd say that's a great approach for ending Internet trolls and the like, but... (hesitates) frankly, I don't want them learning how to punch things.

Linkara (v/o): Mr. T brings the kids over to Brady, the owner of the gym, and asks him to teach the two how to box.

Brady: Only if they want to learn.

Mr. T: You listenin'? I expect you to put in two hours a day, or I'm gonna come lookin' for you.

Linkara: (as Mr. T) Mr. T is your new lord and master. You better do what he says or else! (as one of the kids, cowering in terror) Or else he'll kill us? (as Mr. T) No! I'll start singin' to ya. (he then cries out in terror as the kid)

Linkara (v/o): Do you know where your children are? Yeah, Mr. T kidnapped them and forced them into a regular activity without the consent of their parents. A woman named Sharice and her daughter Darlene go up to Mr. T and start telling him about her husband. She thinks he's involved in something illegal after the assembly plant he worked at shut down and he started coming home with a lot of money and various expensive cars that he's allegedly just "checking out".

Mr. T: Don't worry, Sharice. Your problem just became my problem.

Linkara: (as Mr. T) It also became the problem of whoever I have to start punchin'! (holds up fist) Or singin', too. I kinda flipflop over what I feel like doing.

Linkara (v/o): Mr. T gives her a communicator in case she needs help, and he calls up that drug dealer he forcibly recruited from the first issue named Justice, who's in the middle of being recruited by some guy to act as a lookout for some shady job. Justice refuses to participate and walks off to answer Mr. T's call. Mr. T asks him if he knows anything about the stolen car ring.

Justice: Yeah, I heard somethin' 'bout them. Word is they like to hit hospital parking lots, get them rich doctors' cars.

Mr. T: Get the word out-- I'm countin' on you!

Linkara: (confused) What word? You didn't give any instructions.

Linkara (v/o): With that info, Mr. T heads over to that free clinic and meets up with Janie, the hospital nurse who helped him out with an abandoned baby.

(Cut back to a shot of the first issue)

Mr. T: It's a crack baby... FOOL!

Linkara (v/o): Yeah, that's the one.

(Cut back to the third issue)

Linkara (v/o): He walks her out to her car, which of course is in the middle of being robbed by four guys.

Linkara: Because when I think (makes "air quotes") "rich doctors", I think "free clinic".

Mr. T: I'm gonna ask you to get off the lady's car. Then I'm gonna ask you some questions.

Thief 1: You ain't got* nothin' while I got my posse.

  • NOTE: The thief actually says, "You ain't axin' me nothin'...".

Linkara: Oh! Yeah, I'm really sure that you guys are gonna succeed where the Incan cyborg with grenade launcher hand failed. (gives a thumbs-up and nods)

Thief 2: Look out, man. I'm gonna plug him.

Mr. T: C'mere, fool! You ain't gonna plug anybody!

Linkara (v/o): Aaand Mr. T grabs the gun out of his hand and bends it in half.

(Cut to a clip of Short Circuit)

Johnny 5: (grabbing gun away from the bad guys) Colt .45. Semi-automatic. (bends gun in half and rolls it into a ball) Play-Doh. (tosses gun away)

(Back to the comic again)

Linkara (v/o): Mr. T grabs one and asks about the carjackers, but he's soon attacked by the other three.

Thief 3: This punk ain't NUTHIN'!

(Cut to a clip of a Hitachi commercial featuring Mr. T addressing a consultant)

Mr. T: (holding up fist to a corporate consultant) You know, you got a lotta mouth! And I got a lotta fist for your mouth!

(Cut back to the comic)

Linkara (v/o): Yeah, this does not go well for them, and they're quickly fought off and tossed around like ragdolls.

Mr. T: Still don't know nothin'? Then I'm gonna kick your butt for stealin' that lady's last week!

Linkara: Wait, how does Mr. T know that these people stole a woman's purse last week? Is Mr. T psychic? Eh, I'm adding it.

Mr. T Superpower Count: 16

Mr. T: Still don't know nothin'? You'd better learn somethin' quick!

Thief: Waitaminute, bro--

Mr. T: My name ain't Bro.

(Cut back to the Hitachi commercial with Mr. T)

Mr. T: First name: Mister; middle name: Period; last name: T!

(Cut back to the comic)

Linkara (v/o): They finally spill the beans. They're not part of the gang themselves, but they tell Mr. T that he's looking for the Porsche Posse, a group who have [sic] a list of specific kinds of cars they want. Right now, they're looking for Rolls Royces. And indeed, that evening, the gang steals a Rolls Royce and brings it to their hideout. They check the trunk, but...

(The trunk opens, revealing Mr. T with his camera, filming everything)

James Doakes (Erik King): (audio from Dexter) Surprise, motherfucker!

Mr. T: SMILE! You're on the Mr. T Show!

Linkara: Wait, if this is the Mr. T Show, does that mean I've been completely in the right to use those clips from the Mister T animated series as the stingers of these episodes?

Linkara (v/o): The gang attacks, but Mr. T hasn't got time for that crap. He's too busy filming everything around him and throwing tires at guys without even looking at them. Of course, Mr. T hasn't forgotten what got him here in the first place, so he quickly finds Sharice's husband and hands him the camera.

Mr. T: Here, take this. Act like Steven Spielberg.

Linkara: (as Sharice's husband, nervously) B-B-But I don't want to make a movie about Lincoln! (as Mr. T, pointing to him) You do as you're told, fool!

Linkara (v/o): While Mr. T just continually smacks around the criminals, or throws them into each other, he tells the guy, Denton, that, as a mechanic, he could have gotten a legitimate job anywhere. Eh, depends on the economy. However, in this case, Denton agrees, but the gang would have killed him if he tried to leave.

Mr. T: You got to be strong, Denton. You got to make a stand!

Linkara: Yyyeah... Mr. T, not that I don't agree with you, but at the same time, it's easy to say that when you've got sixteen superpowers and no family to be threatened as well.

Linkara (v/o): He asks who the leader is, and Denton happily informs him it's Gladstone. With that, Mr. T takes back the camera and tells Denton to head home while he deals with the final boss.

Mr. T: Where are you? Are you afraid?

Mr. Gladstone: I'm afraid, all right. I'm afraid I can't permit you to leave here alive.

Linkara: (as Mr. T) Ha! Been working on that one all day! God, it felt good.

Linkara (v/o): Gladstone emerges from the shadows, and indeed, he's either an overripe Sontaran... Second week in a row with that comparison... or Michael Clarke Duncan as the Kingpin. Mr. T asks how Gladstone intends to stop him. And so, our comic ends with a splash page revealing this: a giant monster truck with crushing jaws and a guy with a missile launcher.

Mr. Gladstone: Oh, no, Mr. T. I've heard about you. I'm not so foolish as to engage you in hand-to-hand combat.

Linkara: (as Gladstone) I prefer hand-to-killdozer combat.

Mr. Gladstone: My supervisor left special instructions for you... so we built a special car for you.

Linkara: (as Gladstone) It even has a car phone! (closes comic and holds it up) This comic... is awesome! But then, you should expect that from the series by this point.

Linkara (v/o): It's of course not as good as the second issue, but it continues its streak of just being so damn ridiculous and fun. The bad guys are bad, and the good guy is Mr. friggin' T and he kicks serious ass. I'm iffy about him forcing the kids into learning boxing, but if that's the greatest crime of this story, I think we can move past it when he's just trying to get the kids to become responsible and stuff.

Linkara: "Mr. T and the T-Force" will of course return eventually, and we'll find out how he defeats the evil monster truck bulldozer from Hell. I'm guessing it involves punching it. (puts comic down, gets up and leaves)

(End credits roll)

I'd love for there to be a Mr. T and the T-Force sequel comic where all the kids Mr. T helped out come back to help him as the new T-Force.

Sooo what DID happen to the Incan cyborg after Mr. T talked to him? Does he work at the boxing gym now?

(Stinger: A PSA with Mr. T is shown, with him surrounded by a bunch of kids at a picnic table)

Mr. T: But the real detectives are those of you who got the point. The point is this: things aren't always what they seem. Jeff thought that Courtney's uncle was guilty because he did something wrong in the past. Jeff was wrong. He judged Courtney's uncle before he knew the facts.

(end)

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