(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Monsters, Inc.. The film's opening music composed by Randy Newman plays in the background throughout. Several clips from Little Monsters, an animated show on Fox Kids, and Beetlejuice are shown at one point as well)
Doug (vo): I’m always sort of shocked when people say what an original idea Monsters, Inc. is. I don’t know, I just know I’ve seen this idea in other Saturday morning cartoons with monsters that go and scare kids, and then they return to sort of like this office environment like it’s almost a business. I’ve seen it before. But just because something’s been done before doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, as long as they can bring something new and unique to it, and that’s exactly what Monsters, Inc. does. It creates characters, it creates an environment, it creates an interesting reason why they need to scare little kids. But I don’t know if these characters are really on par with, say, the Toy Story series, or the story for that matter. Does that make it bad? Well, let’s take a look at what we got.
Story[]
Doug (vo): You got two monsters, one played by Billy Crystal and another played by John Goodman. They’re great at scaring little kids and getting them to scream. Why is it important to get them to scream? Well, because apparently, the monster world that they live in is powered by the screams of children. It’s how they harness their energy, electricity and so forth. That’s kind of creative. They’re in competition with another monster, played by Steve Buscemi, who’s constantly trying to beat the record for the most scares, but is constantly broken by our two heroes. The catch, though: they’re convinced that kids are unbelievably contagious. They think that they spread disease and just touching them can destroy you for life. So it’s probably not the best that a little girl has snuck into the monster world and is totally driving our two heroes crazy. The irony, of course, is that two grotesque monsters are absolutely terrified of a cute, innocent little girl. Things get even more crazy when the monsters actually start to like the little girl, but discover that she actually may be part of a giant conspiracy. There’s a plot to use the children to fuel this giant machine that can suck the life out of them or, at least, turn them...white or something, I’m not really sure what it does, but apparently, it makes even more energy, and, I’m not really sure if it kills them or what or even what it’s doing, but...oh, it sounds evil.
Review[]
Doug (vo): Yeah, okay, the evil plan in this movie is a little complicated, and honestly, even I could barely follow it. And unfortunately, that’s not the film’s only shortcoming. People may disagree with me, but while I think John Goodman’s performance is fine, I really don’t get into Billy Crystal. Maybe it’s a little too old-school, a little too vaudeville, a little too playing-to-the-audience, I don’t know. Just something about the delivery does not satisfy me.
Mike: Well, then why don't you find some place for it to sleep...WHILE I THINK OF A PLAN?!
[A scene where the office door closes on Mike's fingers, causing him to scream, is shown]
Doug (vo): I could see, like, a Patton Oswalt in this role, or a Jack Black, but there’s a lot of scenes where I was saying to myself, "I should be laughing at this, so why am I not?" And I really do think it’s his delivery. And if you enjoy it, fine. It’s just not for me.
[The villains of the movie are shown; the second villain shown only briefly just not to give away the twist revealed in the film]
Doug (vo): The villains are unbelievably weak, too. I won’t give away who they all are, but let’s just say, it’s kind of frigging obvious. And if you’re gonna do a villain in a movie, make them good villains. I mean, the designs are kind of fun, but the characters are so bland and so forgettable. Why couldn’t you make them funny, too? Or if you’re gonna make them evil, make them really evil, make them diabolical, go Frollo on our asses, just really, really have fun with it. The plot, like I said, while a good setup, gets a little too complicated, I think even for kids to follow. I mean, they can get through it okay, but the specifics are kind of odd. And the heroes’ journeys aren’t really that much either, at least again from the Billy Crystal standpoint. I don’t really care how his relationship with his girlfriend goes, I don’t really care how his connection with his job goes, I don’t even really care how his relationship with his best friend goes. I don’t know. I’m not sure if it’s the character or the performance, I mean, I don’t hate them, it just doesn’t grab me in the least.
[Footage focusing on the relationship between Sulley and Boo is shown]
Doug (vo): But I’ll tell you what does grab me: the setup, which is very creative, the climax, which is a ton of fun, and actually, I do like the relationship between John Goodman’s character and the girl. And this is another area where you might disagree with me. People either seem to love this girl or hate her, and I can see both sides of the argument. I mean, on the one hand, yeah, she’s kind of annoying, she barely forms words, she just sort of giggles, and it’s almost kind of pandering to the little kids. "Oh, isn’t that funny? She’s laughing, she’s bidding, going, "Tee-hee-hee"." I mean, I can see that side. But, I do sort of like how the monsters are really, really freaked out by her and how they’re just downright terrified. And I like how the relationship does actually build between the two of them. I like how he starts to enjoy something that he’s supposed to be afraid of, I like that he actually starts to care, I like that he starts to play with her. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a schmuck for that kind of stuff.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): So, on the whole, the movie is sort of a mixed bag. There’s some stuff I really like, a lot of stuff I don’t like, but it’s hard to think of anything I really hate. Some of the monsters are creative, but to be fair, I think they could’ve been more creative on the designs. But they make up with it with some of the cool textures, like, look at that. You can see every individual hair on that thing. So while I don’t think it’s the strongest and I think a lot more jokes and character could’ve come from this, I think Monsters, Inc. is...cute. It’s not the best, but you know what? For a brief little bit of entertainment and just something bright and colorful and has a little bit of a brain to it, I’d give it a pass. I’m glad I saw it, I just don’t think I would see it again.
[A scene showing Mike walking into the scare floor is shown]