(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing trailer clips from Moana 2. Note: Doug's voice understandably sounds very bored here)
Doug (vo): Okay, I'm going to level with you, I don't have a ton to say about this one. You see, when I did the preview for Disneycember this year, I just assumed I'd have a lot to say about Moana 2 in terms of spoilers, because it's the sequel to I think the most watched thing on Disney+. You'd think there'd be a lot more surprises and twists and turns, but, uh, yeah, if you saw my Untitled Review Show, you know this is a very, very, very mid movie. I did end up ultimately recommending it, but it's more because I think the majority of people that want to see it just kind of want to return to the beach with these happy, bouncy characters. And while you can argue it does give a bit more than that, it's not much more.
Story[]
Doug (vo): Moana has gotten older since the last time we saw her, and, yeah, that is something I really like. I think a lot of people wanted to see that in Incredibles 2, and it's nice to see them actually grow up the characters in these movies. But what hasn't changed is she's still an explorer. However, there's not a whole bunch of places to explore. Every once in a while, she'll find an island, but no people. And it turns out this is because an evil lightning god is separating the people. That's right, he doesn't want people to get together and share their cultures and everything because...I don't know, maybe they explain, they don't really go into it much. And honestly, this guy never shows his face. They build him up in drawings, but all you see is a storm. He's a non-presence, kind of a letdown. However, though, if a human can touch this island that he sunk years ago, the curse will be lifted and people can find each other again. So she puts together a crew, and, of course, gets Maui involved again, and the search is on to find this island before...some sort of vague future where just people aren't around. Yeah, the threat in the last movie was also a little bit more threatening, 'cause, you know, there's a time limit, but this is just, "Oh, at some point, people won't be here," I guess.
Review[]
Doug (vo): Okay, so like I said, this is a spoiler review, so if you don't want anything ruined, go ahead and click off now. But something I didn't know going into this and a lot of people left in the comments is that, apparently, this was supposed to be a Disney+ show. Now, I haven't done research on this to confirm it or anything, but the reason I'm bringing it up is, whether it is or not, it really feels that way. There are so many moments where I'm like, "Oh, yeah, that could be an episode." Fighting that giant clam monster, that could be an episode. Interacting with that bat lady, that could be an episode. Maybe the lightning god was going to have more development over the course of the series, I don't know, but suddenly, this all made a lot more sense.
(Footage from three Disney direct-to-DVD movies about to be mentioned is shown before cutting back to clips from Moana 2, with a few clips focusing on the comedic moments)
Doug (vo): Now with that said, this is certainly done a lot better than other Disney movies that were clearly meant to be shows. I'm specifically talking about the direct-to-DVD movies, your Tarzan and Janes or Belle's Magical World or Milo's Return. Where with those films, you can easily put together that's what they were, like, there's no segues or anything, there's just random moments that happen and they barely connect. Here, there is at least a beginning, middle and end story. And I will also say, as a production, particularly a Moana production, it still looks and sounds really good. And maybe I'm a little more lenient to it, because, yeah, nothing's really annoying in it. I mean, that's always kind of the thing that pushes me a little too far. I mean, like, the jokes don't get many laughs, but it also doesn't feel like that's the main focus. And when a joke doesn't land, it doesn't hurt. I see why it's supposed to be funny, just something can be a little off about it, but not distractingly painful.
(As various footage continues to be shown, some focus on the action-packed moments and Moana herself)
Doug (vo): For me, what ultimately pushed me to a positive review is the ending. I'm not going to say the ending is great, I mean, "Oh, no, Moana's going to die!" (Speaks sarcastically) Oh, yeah, sure, kill that cash cow. (Speaks normally) And again, the sacrifice and risk isn't anything that major, but I do like the outcome. I like that, if I'm reading it correctly, she might be a demigod now. That's pretty cool...or at the very least, in the beginning stages or maybe it means something else. I don't know, they keep it a little vague, and I like that. It kind of leaves it open for something you can do in a sequel, which I usually hate, but I like the possibilities for this one. But what I really loved is, when the smoke literally clears and people can find each other again, she sees there were already a lot of explorers doing exactly what she was doing. There was something...weirdly inspiring about that. And it's not like fleets of ships with tons of armies or anything like that, it's just these tiny little boats that have, like, maybe two or three people on them, and a lot of them meet up at the same time. That just indicates that they were always searching, even though it seemed unlikely they would ever find anything. Not only does that tie into what the main character is all about, but it's just kind of a nice thought. Like, they could just give up, they think nothing's out there, but they just keep searching. And I don't know. It's a little thing, but I found it pretty uplifting.
(Clips and screenshots focusing on Matangi is shown)
Doug (vo): I do wish more was done with that bat lady. I really thought, like, she was going to be the main villain. In fact, she's tied to the main villain, so I don't get why they didn't do more with this. Her animation is great and she has probably the best song in the movie, but they just leave her hanging. She says, "Hey, when you're done, come on back and save me," and they never do. Again, unless I'm missing something in the mid-credits sequence, but even if it is there, that should really be in the main story.
(Footage focusing on the Kakamora is shown)
Doug (vo): I didn't really care for the coconut people in the first movie, but one of them joins the team here, and again, while not great, he did actually have a bit of personality, which, again, is kind of more than I can say in the first film. I didn't even really get a read about what these characters were about, but I did understand a little bit more in this. Some moments are fun, even though they're repeats of the last one. Like, I like when they get all numbed up from the darts thrown at them, and the coconut people have to lift them up and be used as chairs. That's pretty creatively goofy.
(Footage focusing on Simea and Moana's pet pig, Pua, is shown)
Doug (vo): I really thought the little sister was going to sneak aboard the boat, and I'm so glad she didn't, because...even though she's fine just for a little cute character that you just go, "Oh, adorable, going to sell some dolls or whatever", I know she would have gotten really annoying if she was in the entire flick. The pig is still pointless, I don't know why they keep putting him in these movies. The scene where she introduces the little sister to the water just seems like a repeat of when she was young and was introduced to the water.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): I just don't have a strong reaction to this movie. Maybe if I really loved the first one, like, I really got into the story and characters and the mythos and everything, I would really, really demand something more, a lot more. But instead, all we got is a little more. But I also know there's a lot of people that just like being in this world, and I'm not going to act like I don't get that. It's a very pleasant world to be in, and it does give you a lot more of that, and I think that's its intention. Outside of that, I'm struggling, man. I don't know what else to say. Everyone knows it's a repeat of the original, and some are okay with that and some are not okay with that, and both are very valid arguments. I guess it was fine...enough, but I know I'm never going to watch this movie again. If they do make a third one...which, if they're doing a live-action remake, that's sounding very likely...they do have to change things up. They do have to dive into something more interesting, go more into the mythos of this world, or her being a demigod, or giving other characters powers, or just lean into the stories of the culture more. I think that's what people really got into the first time, and I think it makes sense to do that, because the character does want to explore and find out more stuff, and here's your perfect opportunity. They now find other people, and you can see other creations or other cultures or other gods or other whatever that they can look into. I know nobody sees this as a great movie, but if you're in the right mood, you might just see it as meh enough.
(A scene from the film's first teaser trailer, showing Moana blowing into a conch shell, is shown)