Matt Briner


Real Name
Matt Briner
Article writer.
See Matt Briner's Articles for a list of his work.

Artist's rendition of Matt Briner

Matt Briner is God. Outside of his mind, however, he's some fat douchebag from Lewistown, Pennsylvania, who thinks he's funny.

Matt Briner and

Matt Briner, born in Harrisburg, PA, and now residing in Lewistown, PA, contributes to by way of written articles. After entering several blogs concerning pro wrestling, Sonic the Hedgehog, and nostalgic Nickelodeon shows (ironic considering the fact that, up until TGWTG, Briner had never kept a blog), he was asked to become a regular contributor. Although he is currently only doing articles for the site, he hopes to branch out into video reviews in the near future (though, as Briner himself said, "Don't mortgage the house over that.") If Briner does start doing video reviews, he has said that he would most likely review video games along with movies. In the "Comments" section of his Inspector Gadget 2 review, he stated "Shadow the Hedgehog, your day shalt be nigh..."

His main article series is the "Direct-to-DVDiablo," which features reviews of movies that went directly to video (not just DVD), although he has reviewed one movie that premiered on television before being released on video (Angels in the Endzone). As of October 31, 2008, five of his eight contributions to the site fall under the "Direct-to-DVDiablo" title.

His secondary series is "The BIFLI Chronicles" (with "BIFLI" being an anagram of "Because I Feel Like It"), which features movies that Briner wrote about simply because he wanted to. As of December 21, two movies fall into this category - reviews of Good Burger and Big Fat Liar that were so long that they were split into two parts. Good Burger is also, as Briner himself admits, one of his favorite movies of all-time. (We also know from that same review that BASEketball is another movie on that list.)

One article that Briner wrote that falls under neither of the two aforementioned categories is a very derogatory "letter" that he wrote to Carlos Mencia, criticizing Mencia's lack of comedic abilities, blatant unfunny racism, and just plain general all-out douchebaggery. The end of the letter reads "All my love, Matt Briner and The Undersigned".

Matt's "Conscience"

In some of Briner's reviews, he occasionally uses blue text encased in brackets, incorporating it as a form of dialogue with himself. He does this seemingly as a way to push his narcissistic character during reviews (although a case can be made that he just does it to move the review along when he hits a writer's block).


In virtually all of Briner's movie reviews (including Good Burger), Briner has made the use of "time-outs" in order to temporarily stop the review and rant on a certain part of the movie that just occurred that he particularly disdained. In his review of The Gingerdead Man, during a conversation with his "conscience," it is revealed that, if Briner uses all three of his "time-outs" then finds one more thing that makes him angry, it's grounds to immediately stop watching the movie. None of the movies he's reviewed has made use of all three "time-outs", however, so it is not known what other effects this would have, if any.


Matt Briner is one of the only contributors (if not the only contributor) to to not be known by a pseudonym, instead opting to specifically and exclusively use his actual name. The only reasoning that's been given by Briner himself is that he wouldn't like any nickname given to him, although his "conscience" thinks that a nickname would be a good idea. His "conscience" sometimes informally refers to Briner as "Fat Man" (an in-joke/nod to the Family Guy character Stewie Griffin, who usually refers to his father, Peter, by the same term of endearment).

Personal Life

Matt Briner was born on September 13, 1985 in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and currently resides in Lewistown, Pennsylvania (though it's not something he brags about). By his own admittance, he's never even been on a date, something that he deeply regrets, but doesn't expect to change any time soon.

Although he writes for, majorly a movie site, Briner doesn't watch very many movies outside of the ones he reviews. He's primarily a fan of pro wrestling, with his current favorite promotion being Ring of Honor and his favorite wrestler being Bryan Danielson. He also is an avid fan of video games, citing the Sonic the Hedgehog series as his favorite (with the Metroid and Zelda series coming in second and third respectively). He is also a fan of pretty much any show that Joss Whedon has had anything to do with. He is madly in love with Eliza Dushku and Mickie James, though not necessarily in that order.

External Links

Matt Briner on

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