Mac and Devin Go to High School

Mac and Devin Go to High School (with Rap Critic)
Date Aired	February 03rd, 2013
Running Time	22:29
Previous review	The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2012
Next review	TBA
Website	http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/tis/tpsr/38138-pop-song-reviews-mac-and-devin-go-to-high-school-with-rap-critic

Todd plays Snoop Dogg, Wiz Kalifa & Bruno Mars's "Young, Wild & Free" on his piano

MAC & DEVIN GO TO HIGH SCHOOL
A Movie Review

Todd: You know what's always lame? It's when an established performer does a team-up with a newer one. It's...it's just so transparently the old guy trying to leech out the newer one's relevance, or the new guy trying to borrow the older one's credibility. Ain't that right, younger, newer music critic?

Rap Critic (RC): Oh, heck yeah it is! It is... [chuckles] You wanna do a crossover?

Todd: DO I!!!

The two suddenly appears seated next to each other in a different room.

Todd: BOOYAH! Todd and Rap Critic review a terrible movie!

Bruno Mars: So what we get drunk...

Todd (VO): For much of 2012, radios were bumping to "Young, Wild & Free", a dead catchy song from the team up collaboration of living legend Snoop Dogg and hot up-and-comer Wiz Khalifa—two rappers now known pretty much exclusively for smoking unfathomable amounts of weed.

RC (VO): Also for doing guest verses in shitty pop songs.

Clips of Katy Perry - "California Gurls"...
Snoop Dogg: Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis, no weenies

...T-Pain ft. Wiz Khalifa - "5 O'Clock"...
Wiz: And you'll be right at home waiting for me
iPhone plugged in the wall, just waiting for me

...Big Time Rush ft. Snoop Dogg - "Boyfriend"...
Snoop: You need a boyfriend and I can be that
Holla at me, hit me on my video chat.

...and Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa - "Payphone"
Wiz: ...go and take That little piece of shit with you.
Maroon 5: I'm at a payphone

RC (VO): But despite that, both still want you to take them seriously as rappers, and want to be considered hood and down with the ghetto and not total pop sellouts. So they didn't just make an album together.

RC: No, they starred in an entire movie together—a stoner comedy called Mac and Devin Go to High School.

Todd (VO): And "Young, Wild & Free" was inextricably tied to it. Snoop and Wiz are rapping in character as Mac and Devin about the plot of the movie.

Wiz: ...children. Had a science project, me and Mac killed it
Snoop: THC

Todd (VO): Even with the song hyping it up everywhere, I couldn't find evidence that this movie even existed. When I went to the Mac and Devin website, it told me everything about the soundtrack, but nothing about the movie, which eventually limped to DVD without a theatrical release in June. [Poster of...] First Sunday made it to theaters, The Wash made it to theaters, Who's Your Caddy made it to theaters. But even a hit song couldn't push Mac and Devin to anything but a direct-to-video dumpage slot.

RC (VO): Basically, it has to be considered a lesser entry in Snoop Dogg's career, which is... [posters of Bones, Soul Plane, and Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror] ...really an incredible statement, when you think about it.

Todd: How can a movie be so shameful that even Snoop Dogg wouldn't promote it? Well, let's find out.

Movie starts

Slowburn: And stay out! Man, this girl's trying to fuck up my dick. Talkin' 'bout she want to watch a romantic comedy.

Todd (VO): What...okay. Looks like we're gonna start off with some...[Macro of...] PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

RC (VO): No, no, no, no, Todd, that's not a banana, that's a joint.

Slowburn: My name is Slowburn, and I'm your movie guide.

Todd (VO): O...kay. Well, um...let's have no confusion about what kind of movie we're watching then.

Slowburn: Go to the bathroom, turn off your annoyin'-ass cell phone, get a big-ass popcorn, and a couple of ice-cold...

RC (VO): Wait, is that lit blunt being played by [album cover of Prince of the South...The Hits by...] Mystikal? It...yeah, that's him.

Todd (VO): Oh, yeah, I remember that guy. [Clip of "Shake Ya Ass"] "Shake ya ass, watch yourself."

RC (VO): Yeah, he was the only one out of Master P's label that I could actually tolerate as a rapper...kinda. Hey, where's he been anyway?

News article: Mystikal Reflects on Six-Year Prison Sentence

Todd (VO): Six years in jail for rape.

RC (VO): Oh. Uh...okay, moving on.

Slowburn: You're missing one key ingredient, nigga. How you gonna watch a motherfuckin' weed movie without no motherfuckin' weed?! Get your papers, your bongs, your bowls, your blunts, some fat ass nuggs of that good good, and spark that shit up!

Todd: You have an excellent point, badly animated talking blunt. Yeah, I think we to light one up.

RC: Yeah, I think we need to get blazed.

Todd: Yeah, we need us a couple of fat blunts!

RC: Hell, yeah! You holdin'?

Todd: No, I don't really smoke pot.

RC: Yeah, me neither.

Slowburn: Please stop this movie right now. It just won't work if you can't watch this shit without no weed. Stop.

RC (VO): [worried] Todd...

RC: ...I think we made a terrible mistake.

Slowburn: You don't play baseball without no bat, do you? Exactly.

RC (VO): Actually, I don't even agree with him. I love movies like How High, Half-Baked, and Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke, and I never smoked anything for them; they were funny to me regardless. And hey, if your writers are strictly relying on their audience having their mind altered before they could have any ability to enjoy the material, normally we would call that movie something like [shots of...] "terrible" or "unfunny." When someone says, "man, you have to be high in order to watch this," it's kind of an insult. They're applying the same rule to stoners as they do to four-year-olds. Hey...are we sure this movie wasn't produced by [adult swim]?

RC: And hey, I'm not asking them to make bold, artistic statements. I'm just asking them to make me laugh.

Todd: Okay, well, ignoring the anthropomorphic joint, let's talk about the movie proper.

Mac Johnson (Snoop Dogg): Hey, good morning. How's my favorite MILF doin' today?

MILK (Shvona Lavette Chung): Stressed.

Mac: Stressed? I have just what you need.

Todd (VO): First there's Snoop, playing the drug dealer Mac. Now, I had assumed this would be something like [DVD covers of...] Back to School or the 21 Jump Street movie where they have to go back to high school for some reason, but it turns out that Snoop is playing some kind of super-senior who's been in high school for fifteen years, which still makes him about ten years too old to play this role.

RC (VO): Yeah, those years crossed out on his jacket are funny, but to be accurate, they'd probably have to start at 1987.

Todd (VO): Meanwhile, Wiz Khalifa plays the overachieving school valedictorian.

RC (VO): [laughing] Wiz Khalifa as a nerd? Yeah...no. You've already used up your stretching of disbelief privileges as a movie if you expect me to buy that. I'd had an easier time believing him as Eleanor Roosevelt.

Todd (VO): At least casting him as a teenager explains that horrible peach-fuzz 'stache. Also there's Andy Milonakis of "hey, whatever happened to Andy Milonakis" fame.

RC (VO): You remember him. The man who physically looks like he's twelve years old, but mentally...acts like he's twelve years old. Yeah, this movie's gonna suck.

Todd (VO): And then there's the antagonist—assistant principal...Skinnfloot. Ugh.

Mr. Armstrong (Mike Epps): ...life messed up, you kids. I'm old school! That means I don't play that shit.

RC (VO): Wow, Mike Epps looks like they dragged him out of bed for this one.

Todd (VO): Wait, those Asian guys. Wait, is that the Far★East Movement?!

Detention Student #1 (Kev Nish): Whatever, man.

Todd (VO): It is! Holy crap, what are they doing here?!

Clip from Far★East Movement - "Like a G6"
Far★East Movement: ...ackin' like they drunk

Todd (VO): How long exactly was this movie on the shelf? 'Cause this must've been filmed before the end of 2010, during the...month they were famous.

RC (VO): You remember what they look like? I'm still trying to remember what they sound like. From what I remember of their "Like a G6" song, I thought they were one white chick.

Mac: That fool Skinfloot jacked me for that master cush. It's got to be in here somewhere. Come here.

[He accidentally turns on the mic.]

Skinfloot (Derek D): This is the last time you...

Mac: [over intercom] Feast your eyes on my big, fat, long, succulent, mouth-watering...

Todd: [flat] Get it? It sounds like they're talking about sex.

Todd and RC: [flat] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Jasmine (Samantha Cole): [over intercom] I knew it'd be big, but I've never seen anything this big.

[Mac is holding up a joint about the length of his forearm]

Todd: [still flat] Get it? Look at that joint. It's...bigger than a regular-size joint.

Todd and RC: [again] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[Skinnfloot rushes to his office and finds Jasmine taking a giant puff of Mac's joint]

Skinnfloot: Mac!

Mac: Skinny dick, you want a hit?

Bruno Mars: [played over] So what, we get drunk...

RC (VO): So...

RC: ...did you want to write a punchline for that scene or what?

RC (VO): Anyways, meanwhile Wiz is working on his speech.

Devin (Wiz Khalifa): High school...it's the best of times, it's the worst of times... The times that try men's soul... Ask not what high school can do for you, but what you can do... It's the best of times, it's the worst of times, it's...time for me to write a new speech.

RC: Well, maybe you should first start with writing your own speech.

Todd: My God, that acting. That was...

Devin: That was horrible.

Todd: Yeah, what...what he said.

Skinnfloot: Know what this is I'm filling out?

Mac: What, an order for some medium-size condoms?

Skinnfloot: No, these are your expulsion papers.

, RC (VO): Dude, he's 53 years old and he's supplying drugs to minors. Just have him arrested.

Todd (VO): As you probably have noticed, Assistant Principal Skinfloot is played here by what appears to be the world's worst [picture of...] John Hodgman impersonator, which makes sense because, get it? He's a Mac, and he's [Skinnfloot] a PC, which, in this case, stands for [text] "Poorly-written character."

Principal Cummings (Luenell): Assistant Principal Skinnfloot...all expulsions are handled by me personally.

Skinnfloot: Yes, but this...student...always seems to get off with you.

Cummings: Does he? Do you mind giving us a few minutes?

Todd (VO): So how often has Snoop had to bone the old lady to not get expelled? Is...is this a common occurrence? Anyway, the film gives us a number of other stock characters, all of whom get about two scenes each because this movie just doesn't care. There's Devin's rival.

Devin: What are talking about, Mahatma

Mahatma Chang Greenberg (Paul Iacono): Mahatma Chang Greenberg to you.

Todd (VO): His controlling girlfriend.

Ashley (Teni Penosian): No pressure though babe, just don't fuck up, or I'll dump you.

Todd (VO): And Snoop also has a love interest, a hot new teacher who turns down his advances because she has rules.

Mac: What's say you, me, and my little buddy here make three.

Ms. Huck (Teairra Mari): Sorry, I don't date students.

RC (VO): Yeah, especially students who are twenty years older than you.

Devin: Improper use of lab glassware is a hazard, you know?

Mac: Did you know that motherfuckin' outfit you got on is a style hazard?

Devin: What are you doin' here anyway? You're not smart enough to be in this class.

Todd: [flat] Not like me. I am smart and a valedictorian.

Ms. Huck: I've spoken with your teacher and he wants you all to present a research project for your final grade.

Todd (VO): Anyway, they get teamed up to do a science project together, which means that the cool guy and the nerd have to work together in the grand [picture of...] Kid 'n Play tradition.

Ms. Huck: ...and Overstreet and Johnson.

Devin: What?!

Todd (VO): Goddamn it, Wiz, all you had to do was say, "what?!" Ho...how hard is that? How do you deliver a single word that badly? It wasn't a Shakespearean monologue
Anyway, Snoop and Wiz try to work together, but Snoop quickly derails the proceedings.

Devin: [shaking vending machine] ...candy, mother...fucker.

Mac: What's up, superfreak?

Devin: I'm sorry, man, I just get low on blood sugar and... [shakes machine] come on!

Mac: Relax, relax. I got just what you did.

RC (VO): You know, in most movies where a way older guy gets a younger person high without their consent, they would usually be the bad guy of the movie.

Clip from Training Day

Alonzo: Didn't know you liked to get wet though. Dust...PCP...that's what you had.

RC (VO): But it's okay here because, hey, it's friggin' Snoop Dogg.

Mac: Green goddess, ganja goodies, pecan cookies

Todd (VO): Yeah, maybe "okay" isn't quite the word for it. But Wiz totally starts getting into it anyway.

Devin: Yo, Mac. It's like a got this track playing in my head. It's, like, perfectly synchronized to my movements and everything.

Mac: Let that shit out. Let me hear it, man.

Devin: Every time I go out, I'm blowin the smoke out
I buy it don't even know the price
I smoke cause I live it, don't pay me to visit
And I'll be somewhere up in the sky

RC (VO): So yes, the character's who's never pot on purpose, like, ever, had a song about smoking pot rattling around in his head. Yeah, sure. So what happens next is...

Wiz: I smoke cause I live it, don't pay me to visit

RC (VO): Injected video for sensual seduction? Is...is this what's supposed to happen when you're high on weed? 'Cause...'cause that's not what happens. What happens is stuff becomes funnier and music slightly speeds up. Chemically, the effects of weed are actually kind of mundane.

Todd: Wait a minute, since when do you know so much about getting high?

RC: What are you, a cop?

Wiz: Or wait 'til one of my hoes come 'round and roll it all

Or say fuck it and cuff it 'til I go smoke with Dogg

Todd (VO): It's becoming abundantly clear to me that this movie only exists as a cheaply made promotional tie-in for its own soundtrack, which...I...I think that's kind of the opposite of the way it's supposed to work, isn't it.

Mac: You got to do you like I do me. You dig?

[Jump cut to tattoo parlor]

Devin: How the fuck did we get here?

Mac: We flew, nigga.

Todd (VO): Also, we forgot to film that scene. Anyway, Mac goes through the process of corrupting young, innocent Devin.

Mac: You got your indica, you got your hybrids over there. You have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, huh?

Devin: [long pause] No.

Mac: Don't trip. I got exactly what you need.

[Cut to front of TV, with Mac turning on video]

Captain Kush (Affion Crocket): Hey, ladies and gentlemen. I'm your friendly neighborhood weed player, Captain Kush.

Todd (VO): So, if I'm counting correctly, this movie has two different, unrelated characters that are talking, anthropomorphic cannabis. Most movies would say one is enough, not this one.

RC (VO): Okay, so then they smoke pot and...then they smoke pot and...and after this scene, they...I...I guess they're still smoking pot.

Todd (VO): You know, I thought Mac and Devin Go to High School was gonna be, like, some kind of wacky adventure like Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, but it's...it's really not. Mac and Devin go to high school 'cause they're in high school. They may as well have called it Mac and Devin Breathe Oxygen.

RC (VO): Aren't stoner comedies supposed to be zany, with, like, wacky characters and adventures? This is like if Dude, Where's My Car? was literally just two guys in a parking lot looking for their car.

Clips of various people asking Mac to hook them up

Finish it!

Closing tag song: Snoop Dogg with Wiz Khalifa - "Talent Show"

THE END

Mac and Devin Go to High School is owned by Yard Entertainment
This video is owned by me
Special thanks to Tom Hyre for the studio space