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Total Recall (2012)
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Release date
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December 4, 2017
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Running time
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16:40
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Total Recall (1990)
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The Last Unicorn
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The dystopian future version of The Dom concludes his three-part review of the Total Recall films by reviewing the 2012 reboot film.
Intro
Dystopian Future Dom: Hello, my Beautiful Watchers. If you're wondering why I look like this, then there's an entire backstory episode you've clearly skipped; I recommend going back and watching it because *I'm* not explaining things again. Welcome back to Lost in Adaptation; this is the Total Recall reboot.
Part Three: The Reboot
Dystopian Future Dom: As this film appears to be attempting to fill *two* pairs of shoes simultaneously, I guess what I'm going to need to do is provide a synopsis, then review it as a film, as an adaptation, and then as a remake -- so strap in.
Dystopian Future Dom (V.O.): The basic setup seems to be that towards the end of the 21st century, the Earth has gone downhill somewhat due to chemical warfare. The only two countries left habitable in the world are Great Britain, now called the *Federation* of Britain; and Australia, now called the Colony, which is almost entirely populated by Asians; and everyone in *both* countries talks with a pronounced American accent -- I would love to see a prequel film explaining how this very...specific setup came to be.
The Colony seems to be subservient to the Federation -- having a local government, but deferring to the British councilor in all matters. The countries are connected by a futuristic elevator that's built right through the Earth, making travel between them possible in almost no time at all; said elevator is named, somewhat dramatically, the Fall. A Resistance group led by a man named Matthias -- played by Bill Nighy -- and his right-hand man Hauser are attempting to throw off Federation rule in the Colony because they claim they're being exploited to the point of enslavement by them.
The film starts with Quaid -- now played by Colin Farrell -- and an unknown woman attempting to escape a facility, resulting in his capture; though, apparently, this is just a dream that Quaid was having. Waking up, he finds himself living a rather hard and depressing life as a production line worker in a robot factory, living in a small, dreary-looking apartment in the Colony -- the only perks of his existence being his beautiful, loving wife Lori and his best friend Harry. Fun fact: Quaid's wife here is played by Kate Beckinsale, the wife of the director of this film, Len Wiseman.
(shows Colin Farrell on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien)
Colin Farrell: *Moderately* uncomfortable -- not beating her up, because you don't actually beat each other up; but *kissing* her was a little bit dodgy.
Dystopian Future Dom (V.O.): Seeking to cheer himself up, Quaid visits Rekall, a company that advertises the implantation of false memories into one's head as a cost-effective *alternative* to actually doing things. The salesman upsells him to a more exciting memory package than a simple vacation, being a double agent fighting *for* the British government *and* the Australian Resistance; however, before they can start the process, their safety check flags up that his brain will not accept implantation because he really is a spy of similar description.
Seconds later, a squad of soldiers burst into the room and kill everyone; they *appear* to be about to do the same to Quaid, but he suddenly gains the ability to "gun fu" them all without *really* knowing what he's doing. Fleeing the reinforcements in an action chase scene, he returns home to tell his wife what happened. She responds by trying to kill him, telling him that she's not who he thinks she is; he manages to escape from her...eventually -- um, Mr. Farrell, take it from someone who's become quite adept at surviving over the last few years: in order to escape into a crowd, all one would have to do is *stop* running.
Anyway, he gets a call through a phone that he didn't know was implanted in his hand from an old friend, who cryptically tells him to go and find "the key" and sends him the address of a safety deposit box. Knowing that he can be tracked through the phone, he cuts it out of his hand before going to retrieve the box. It contains a *bunch* of funky things, like a device for holographically hiding one's appearance and a message *from* himself telling himself that he is *not* himself, and that someone changed his face and wiped his memory -- a bit of a no-no when it comes to personal liberties, sure; but if someone *was* gonna change my face, I certainly wouldn't mind looking like Colin Farrell. He tells himself that his best bet is to go to his old apartment and makes another annoyingly cryptic reference to "the key".
Quaid attempts to sneak back into Britain using his high-tech mask; but it malfunctions, and he has to embark on *another* high-speed chase. He's picked up by Melina, the literal girl of his dreams -- played by Jessica Biel -- and together, they escape...barely. Finally getting to his apartment, he discovers that the key that everyone keeps going on about is a *piano* key, and he had apparently turned his instrument into a computer.
An *interactive* holographic recording of himself reveals that he is none other than Hauser, a former government enforcer-turned-freedom fighter after a change of heart. He tells himself that his original mission was to *infiltrate* the resistance and bring it down from within, but fell in love with Melina and decided to join them instead -- evidently before being captured, resculptured, and reprogrammed by his former masters. He explains that there's a computer file in his brain that contains a way to power down the Federation war robots they plan to use to invade and fully subjugate the Colony, and he needs to get it to the Resistance leader before it's too late.
As he and Melina try to leave the building, they find themselves surrounded by Federation forces. Harry turns up and tries to convince Quaid that none of this is real and he's just having a hallucination brought on by a bad reaction to the Rekall memory implant -- he *almost* convinces him; but Quaid notices that Melina is crying, so decides it's all a ruse, shooting Harry in the head. There's *another* action chase sequence -- (sighs) it's not that they're bad; there's just an awful lot of them -- resulting *once again* in them just getting away.
They then go and meet the Resistance. Matthias is *cautiously* trusting of Quaid; but unfortunately, it turns out the file in his head was actually a red herring and the Federation had tracked them to Resistance headquarters, massacring everyone, including their leader. The Chancellor of the Federation -- played by Bryan Cranston -- then reveals that Quaid *is* actually a bad guy after all because, back when he was Hauser, he voluntarily erased his own memories as part of a convoluted, but apparently successful plan to get to the heart of the Resistance. He takes Melina and tells a bunch of his redshirt henchmen to reupload the original bad guy Hauser memories into Quaid's head; Quaid is saved by his friend from the phone call earlier, who unfortunately dies in the rescue.
The climax of the film is Quaid managing -- against all the odds -- to rescue his girlfriend and blow up the Fall with the army of killer robots and the chancellor on board right before they can invade the Colony. His former pretend wife makes one last failed attempt on his life, for *some* reason waiting until he was awake to try and kill him. It seems to occur to Quaid that this might all be a dream brought about by Rekall, but doesn't voice his concern; and the Colony lives happily ever after, free of British rule.
Dystopian Future Dom: But not free of judgment, I'm afraid; here's my thoughts on it just as a film.
Dystopian Future Dom (V.O.): "Good on paper" is probably the best way to describe this flick -- it's got some great actors, amazing choreography, mostly impressive effects; and I *personally* quite like the action directing, even if the ten million lens flares used throughout can *fuck* right off. Despite this potentially winning combination, it completely failed to make any sort of impression with audiences and critics alike; it's almost instantly forgettable, and that's mostly because the plot is utter garbage -- I'll get to this more in the "reboot" section.
The casting in this film is a tad...strange, to say the least. They've got Bryan Cranston -- an American actor who is so typecast as a nice guy, an entire show was once made about the *insanity* that would be required to turn him bad -- playing an evil British dictator; Bill Nighy -- a British actor primarily known for playing bad guys, or at least very creepy guys -- in the role of an idealistic Australian freedom fighter. Honestly, compared to that switcheroo of roles, the Australian man who doesn't know that he's secretly a British man *pretending* to be an Australian man played by an *Irish* man makes perfect sense to me. I also feel like they *kind* of missed a trick with the casting of the two female leads -- in the original, they were polar opposites in both looks and behavior; in this film, while they're not twins as such, I did get them mixed up more than once, especially during the faster-paced shots.
Even ignoring for now the iffy story elements they took from the original movie, a lot of the plot of this new film just doesn't hold up. The *ending* in particular just doesn't make a lot of sense, assuming the whole movie is not just a Rekall invention -- everyone acts like killing the chancellor and destroying the Fall fixes all the issues; but I'm pretty sure whoever takes over the Federation will be facing the same overpopulation issues, be able to build more robots, and will probably decide that a 12-hour plane ride is worth the effort. They also mention that the whole reason the Federation is invading the Colony is because the one thing that they have that Britain doesn't is more space to move into; however, it sure as fuck doesn't *look* like it in any of the city shots of the place -- if anything, it looks even *more* crowded than their British counterpart.
In its favor, I will say I really enjoyed the cool little science-fiction touches in this film: the glowing tattoos; the phones embedded in people's hands that can also project video chats onto glass; the creative way they showed how humanity had had to adapt to vastly reduced living space by introducing a more three-dimensional element to their architecture, like sky roads you can drive along the *bottom* of. I honestly think the makers of this film *could* have put together a neat little original science-fiction movie *if* they got a good writer or chose a longer science-fiction novel to adapt and *stuck* to the plot.
Dystopian Future Dom: Alas, its mixed results as a film must also be considered next to how well it did as an adaptation.
Dystopian Future Dom (V.O.): Well, it's "in name only", so...nyeah...not great -- honestly, aside from the basic idea of a spy unknowingly wanting to *be* a spy, it's got *nothing* in common with the book. This film really played down the Mars elements; it's mentioned maybe once in the entire film, then it's *never* brought up again. One of the things you'll notice about this new Total Recall is, Earth looks awfully dark and grungy now. The book doesn't specify *too* much about life on future Earth; but the main issue there appears to be one of *boredom*, not poverty and survival -- Rekall is an escape from the *humdrum*, not hard life. What's *very* interesting about this film is, it seems to take a lot of influence from *other* adaptations of Philip K. Dick's books, like Minority Report and Blade Runner -- sort of an amalgamation adaptation *of* adaptations.
Dystopian Future Dom: I believe that what this ultimately came down to is not so much a *lack* of loyalty, but a case of...*different* loyalties. This film, like all second-generation films of its type, had a choice: did it want to be another attempt at an adaptation -- maybe a better, more accurate one -- or did it want to be a straight-up reboot of the first film? It could choose to be "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale", or it could choose to be Total Recall. It definitely chose to be a reboot; for every one thing that referenced the book, there were *fifty* things that referenced the Schwarzenegger picture -- I can't say that I'm *not* disappointed, but I also can't say that I'm surprised in any way. I can just see the early production meetings now.
(shows The Dom as a pair of studio executives)
Executive 1: Okay, let's show people how a *real* adaptation is done! (looks upward) Gonna make you proud of us, Philip. (kisses his right index and middle fingertips, then extends them upwards)
Executive 2: Oh, cool! So we're gonna include the alien dormice from the end?
(the first executive stares blankly at him for a moment)
Executive 1: So we're gonna need a woman with three breasts.
Dystopian Future Dom: Yeah, I think it's safe to say the original story is basically unadaptable -- partly because it's so short, but also because the final plot twist *was*, while amusing, also fucking stupid.
So I guess the next question is, seeing as it clearly chose the film over the book, does this reboot at least pay decent homage to *that*?
Dystopian Future Dom (V.O.): Short answer: no; it's about as far away from the original as it can get while still containing all the major plot beats -- i.e. a seemingly unimportant man dissatisfied with his current life purchasing an adventure in the form of false memories of a past life as a secret agent; finding out he really *was* a secret agent with erased memories; fighting the men who came to eliminate him; finding out his wife was a deadly pretender; getting confusing messages -- first from an old friend, and then from *himself* pre-mind wipe -- being rescued by his *actual* love interest; someone attempting to convince him it's all a psychotic episode; meeting up with a resistance movement; finding out he was unknowingly a triple agent; not a double agent, leading to the resistance being crushed, but still managing to single-handedly overthrow the evildoers; and ending on the suggestion that this might all have been the promised false memories after all.
However, this new film replaces Mars with Australia, of all things; a corporation that's become as strong as the government with the *actual* government; and added the "elevator through the Earth" element. They also worked in a not-very-subtle analogy for the American war for independence; and most interestingly, they also combined Ironside's original character -- the overzealous henchman who almost ruins everything by genuinely trying to *kill* Quaid -- with Kate Beckinsale's fake wife character. The complete lack of Mars in the story is probably to blame for Earth's before-mentioned dystopian shift -- the first film went out of its way to portray Quaid's life in the Earth suburb as idyllic, but overly sterile to juxtapose the dirt and violence that was occurring outside of their little social bubble *and* make his desire for a life of adventure at any cost more plausible.
Unfortunately, there are quite a few things they *kept* from the original that just didn't jell well with the new story, either because of the more serious shift in tone or because of the new circumstances in which they occurred -- for example, the scene where someone tries to convince Quaid that none of this is real and he's just having a mental breakdown. With proof that Quaid is an unstoppable killing machine and limited men on sight to bring him down, it makes sense that in the *original*, they would try to come up with a non-violent way to subdue him. In the reboot, this scene plays out while they're *surrounded* by an entire battalion of bulletproof robots; *and* they clearly established earlier in the film that the bad guys have the tech available to easily incapacitate someone non-fatally -- it seems like an entirely pointless and unnecessary waste of time, resources, and opportunity when they could have just *blasted* both of them with the electric rope snares the second they stepped into the lobby of the building.
The final tip-off for Quaid in this situation has also been changed just enough from the original that it makes no sense now. It stands to reason that when a guy who claims to not really be there, and therefore be in no particular danger from Quaid's gun, breaks into a flop sweat at the sight of it, he considers *that* a tad incriminating; but in this new version, Harry is trying to convince Quaid that Melina is a *manifestation* of his delusion. There's *no* reason why she wouldn't be able to shed a tear in that scenario -- the reboot seems to be under the impression that any old bodily fluid will suffice as evidence of one's realness.
I *just* don't buy Quaid wanting to go to Rekall in this version; there's no setup for it aside from him seeing a commercial for it. I mean, he's clearly not *happy* with his life; but they don't establish that he's the kind of idealistic, naïve dreamer who would think that he could *improve* his life with an imaginary *vacation*, like the original Quaid -- Colin Farrell's Quaid just seems too...down-to-Earth. Get it? 'Cause...there's no Mars in this version? Aw, come on, that joke would have *killed* in the future!
Speaking of Mars, the single reference to it that's made in this film raises some odd questions in this new context -- I mean, is there a human colony there, or *isn't* there? Space travel isn't really mentioned; and if living space really is the biggest issue, why isn't more effort being put into making *that* planet livable? An interesting reboot *and* adaptation change is, Quaid actually *does* seem to have some good chemistry with his wife now -- though, admittedly, that might just be because of the actors involved; I mean, how could you *not* have chemistry with *this* Irish rogue and, well, you know...(shows Douglas punching Lori in the face in the 1990 film) Lastly, I must voice my complete and utter *lack* of surprise that the three-breasted hooker made it into the new film.
Dystopian Future Dom: So, why did this film just not work when the first did? Personally, I think the answer is bloody obvious: like I said, this film chose to primarily not be an adaptation of the book, but a remake of an Arnie film; and you just can't make an *Arnie* film without *Arnie*! It doesn't matter when *Schwarzenegger* plays a two-dimensional character, or the dialogue is stupid and the plot is boring or riddled with plot holes and contradictions, because that's not what people want or expect from an Arnie film -- they wanna see him flex his big muscles, fire big guns, make cheesy one-liners, and go "Bleh! Glehh! Lehhhh!" Taking the same story and trying to recreate things with a more serious tone and genuinely good actors will *not* yield the same results; suddenly, people start to notice the boring plot or the stupid dialogue and all those plotholes and contradictions -- the *magic* is just gone. Am I saying that Arnie films are held to a lower standard of general filmmaking because they're fun? Not *all* of them; but basically, yes.
The Dom: So, has it worked? (to Dystopian Future Dom) Has your world been made better (to Utopian Future Dom) and yours been saved?
Utopian Future Dom: No idea. Unfortunately, time travel was a one-way trip; I have to get back there the *slow* way.
Dystopian Future Dom: Same.
The Dom: Oh! Ummm, so how *did* you guys travel back in time anyway?
Dystopian Future Dom, Utopian Future Dom: A wizard did it.
The Dom: Of fucking course. TERRENCE!!!
(Terrence Apparates into the room)
Terrence: What up, Muggle- (sees the three Doms) I feel like there's a story here.
The Dom: Yes, and apparently, you play a starring role in it!
Terrence: Ahhhh, my favorite *kind* then! Let's grab Reginald and talk about it over drinks.
(he walks off-screen)
The Dom: Reginald doesn't get to be on camera; you know this.
(the scene fades to black as the three Doms walk off and the credits roll)
Terrence (V.O.): Yes, well, you really should be *nicer* to him, you know?
The Dom (V.O.): So, do we have to make room for two more roommates?
Dystopian Future Dom (V.O.): We can wait for the future somewhere else, if you like.
The Dom (V.O.): No, no, it's fine. We change apartments every episode anyway.
Utopian Future Dom (V.O.): Yes, your Beautiful Watchers *do* catch on to that eventually, you know?
The Dom (V.O.): Ohhhh, whatever; it's just a gimmick.