December 2, 2020
(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the NC title sequence.)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (Suddenly, his eyes widen as though he just remembered something.) Why, is it not December? I should change my attire as of late not.
(NC rises to his feet and holds up his hands. He then spins around in a circle repeatedly. Then, to a bright flash, his Christmas jacket (blue with white snowflakes and reindeer and red accents.) appears on him. He then stops spinning.)
NC: Ah. Now, that's a lot more festive...
(As he looks down, however, he notices he's wearing a blue Sailor Moon-style skirt instead of pants.)
NC: God, I'm sick of this joke! All right, just play the thing. (nothing happens) Th... Play the thing. (Still nothing happens; NC screams...) PLAY THE THIIIIING!!!!
(We then cut to the title for the first movie to be reviewed this Christmas: the horror movie Krampus, followed by footage of the movie.)
NC (vo): There's been many Christmas horror films over the years. (The poster for Black Christmas is superimposed.) Some have stood the test of time, (The poster for Mrs. Claus is shown.) many have fallen by the wayside, (Now the poster for The Nutcracker is shown.) some weren't even meant to be horror. Krampus came at just the right time with just the right idea and just the right tone. Uh... (The Rotten Tomatoes page for this movie is superimposed briefly, displaying 66% on the Tomatometer and 51% on the Audience Score.) For the most part; we'll get to that in a bit. Premiering in 2015, the last holiday horror film to be released around Christmas was (The poster for Black Xmas is superimposed.) almost ten years earlier, and to be fair, most of the ones prior were made on smaller budgets because there wasn't a guaranteed audience. This one not only looked like it had money behind it, but also a wicked sense of humor about the miseries of the holiday. Based on a character that had existed for years but was only then growing awareness from obscure reference to household name, this is arguably what made Krampus the well-known icon he is today...at least in America. Despite being another PG-13 movie that pretends to be an R, the mean-spirited atmosphere and creepy imagery have left several people I know swearing they saw an R-rated movie. I don't know, I respect a film that's clearly forced to be (A shot of the poster for The Dark Knight is superimposed.) PG-13, yet tries everything to be as close to an R as possible. Despite, like I said earlier, some audiences being split on it, why is it still growing in popularity every year and more and more people adding it to their Christmas special libraries?
NC: Well, let's make visions of severed thumbs dance in your head! This is Krampus.
(The movie begins on Black Friday in a Costco-like store as a crowd of shoppers stampede through the entrance to take advantage of the day's sales, trampling some of the employees at the entrance in the process, and start fighting one another over the items in the store.)
NC (vo): The credits roll with what I wish was an exaggeration of Black Friday sales while playing "It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas". Look at that title over this image. (The camera pulls back in the store to reveal a wreath, while the title for the movie appears over it) That tells you everything you're about to see. This so hilariously sums up commercialism assassinating the meaning of Christmas, I want to see (The posters for Jingle All the Way, Christmas with the Kranks, Deck the Halls and How the Grinch Stole Christmas are superimposed) these films say, (deep voice) "Ohhh, they did in a few minutes what we couldn't in an hour and a half."
NC (vo): "Where are those 'Twilight' vs. Up memes? Oh, well. (A shot from The Grinch showing Mayor Augustus May Who accidentally kissing Max's butt in his sleep.) Kiss that dog's ass, you'll still watch us!"
(We then meet a family known as the Engels who are returning home from Christmas shopping. The father, Tom (played by Adam Scott), is addressing his son, Max (played by Emjay Anthony).)
Tom: Write an apology to the rest of your class for ruining the recital.
NC (vo): One of the scuffles comes from a boy named Max, played by Emjay Anthony, who fought a kid who was mocking his love of Christmas.
Max: He even told the first-graders that Santa was just a cheap marketing ploy invented to sell Pepsi.
Beth, Max's sister (Stefania LaVie Owen): Coke.
Max: You know what I mean.
NC: As if Pepsi (A shot of Pepsiman appears in the corner) needed any help with their mascot.
NC (vo): His mom [Sarah] and dad, played by Toni Collette and Adam Scott, are too busy preparing for their annoying relatives to drop by, so his grandma [Omi (played by Krista Stadler)] is the only one who gives him any attention.
Max: Do you still believe in Santa?
Omi: (speaking German, with translated subtitles) I also believe in dessert before dinner. (gives him a gingerbread man to eat)
NC (vo; as Max): Grandma, how come we can understand each other, even though we never speak each other's languages?
Omi: (speaking German) It is the Star Wars rule, (A shot of Chewbacca appears in the corner) though that did kind of backfire. (The shot of Chewbacca is now replaced by that of his son.)
NC (vo): The rest of the family arrives, including David Koechner, playing a redneck obsessed with guns [Uncle Howard], and Conchata Ferrell, playing a difficult gossip [Aunt Dorothy]. I too was shocked they departed from the norm.
Max: (to his cousin, Howie Jr. (played by Maverick Flack)) So, what did you ask Santa for this year?
NC (vo; as Howie, Jr.): Not to be confused with (A shot of the following is shown in the corner...) that kid from Bad Santa.
Dorothy: (looking at a shelf full of Christmas dinnerware) Lord almighty, looks Martha Stewart threw up in here.
(The family gathers at the table for dinner.)
NC (vo): This family is so miserable, they make the McCallisters look like the Tanners.
Aunt Linda (Allison Tolman): (to her baby, Chrissie, about Sarah) She makes so much food that you can't pronounce.
Sarah: You guys might like a break from macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.
Dorothy: (to Sarah) And who doesn't make ham at Christmas? What are you now, a Jew?
NC: Of course not. Then the film would be called (Jewish accent) Krampus. (The film's title is shown in the corner, but with a Hebrew character on top.)
NC (vo): What I like about the family is, nobody is 100% perfect. Everybody, and I mean everybody, has a difficult side that will later serve them in a troubling situation.
Dorothy: (to Sarah) So what kind of God-forsaken concoction are you whipping up now?
Sarah: Well, how about we go to your trailer for Christmas next year, hmm? For your sake, just stay the hell out of my kitchen! (looks away, scowling)
NC: Now, that's a Hallmark movie title (A poster is shown of Sarah with the Hallmark logo and the title: Stay the HELL Outta My Kitchen, back by raging flames) I would watch. (nods and grins)
NC (vo): It doesn't help that Max's cousins steal his letter to Santa and appropriately bond over his innocent cry for help– (The poster for A Christmas Prince is shown in the corner.) Yeah, that's Christmas Prince shit. They mock the fuck out of him!
Stevie (Lolo Owen): (reading Max's letter) "You might have noticed that I don't have tons of friends." (looks up, sarcastically) Oh, no, really, Max? (reads some more) "I wish my mom and dad could fall in love again." (scoffs)
NC: God, this is a terrible Christmas, but it's a rockin' Festivus.
Stevie: (reading) "...in that..." (looks up angrily) Screw you, Dad does not wish we were boys!
NC: (blinks eyes, confused) You...mean you're...not... I gotta change some jokes here! (takes out a paper and writes in it frantically)
(Enraged, Max leaps from his chair and tries to attack Stevie. As they yell and fight, the sound of glass shattering is heard.)
Tom: Hey! (tries to separate Max and Stevie)
NC (vo; as Tom): Stop making those glass sound effects! You know we didn't shoot any actually breaking!
(To prove his point, NC pauses the movie briefly when the floor is shown, clearly without any broken glass, as pointed out by some helpful green arrows.)
Max: (crying) I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be, but forget it! I HATE CHRISTMAS!! I HATE ALL OF YOU!! (runs off, crying)
NC (vo; as Max): Nothing's been the same since (the poster for The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special is shown) Legos started celebrating Life Day!
(Max goes into his room. His father comes in.)
NC (vo): I like that even the heartfelt talk isn't exactly a 100% feel-good speech, either.
Tom: ...people you try to be friends with, even though you don't have a lot in common.
Max: But why?
Tom: Okay, you kind of got me there.
NC: Don't worry, in six years' time, everyone will become more united. (nods)
NC (vo): I love the note he leaves on. It's not the most comforting, but it's the most honest.
Tom: Maybe it makes us work a little harder to find what we do have in common.
Max: Do you really believe in all that?
Tom: I want to, Max.
NC (vo): And I'm sure that's enough to rekindle the Christmas spirit– (Instead, however, Max tears up his letter to Santa) God, this movie's harsh!
(Having torn up the letter, Max then tosses the pieces out the window. The harsh blizzard outside blows the pieces away.)
NC (vo): Like a Pazuzu Mary Poppins, the note is whisked away to bring a child's worst nightmares to life, starting with a snowstorm to keep them around longer.
(Max wipes away the fog on his window to see outside. He spots a rather strange-looking snowman in the yard.)
NC (vo; as Max): Huh, Stephen Gammell took up snow sculpting.
(The family then hears a knock at the door and answer it. It's a delivery person with some packages and a huge bag.)
NC (vo): They get some very odd deliveries at a very odd time.
Howard: How come rich people get all the free shit?
NC (vo; as Aunt Linda): It says it's from a Mister of All Evil, from the Flaming Fires of– Oh, I can't read it, somewhere French. (normal) The sister says she's unable to call her boyfriend a few blocks down, so she asks if she can walk in the certain death blizzard to his house. You're asking this family, "Of course you can go!"
Tom: (to Sarah about Beth) She'll be fine.
Sarah: Okay. One hour.
NC: (as Sarah) If you're not back by then...um...we're opening your gifts. (laughs and waves dismissively) Just kidding; we didn't get you shit.
NC (vo): The sky goes dark, and we hear the sound of sleigh bells... um... (A shot of the movie Ernest Saves Christmas showing an robed figure in chains entering a cabin is superimposed) S-L-A-Y... as a large creature is seen on the rooftops.
(Said creature, which has horns, spots Beth and chases after her. She runs for her life, screaming. She runs up to the DHL van from which the deliveries had come. She tries to open the van door, but it's locked. She wipes some snow off the window and looks inside, spotting the delivery man inside, frozen, his mouth open in a scream.)
NC (vo; as the delivery man): Tell Amazon I've had worse jobs, but not many!
(Beth recoils and tries to hide under the van. She spots a jack-in-the-box.)
NC (vo; as Beth): I think I saw this in a movie once. I'm sure the person turned out okay.
(The crank on the jack-in-the-box turns, about to reveal the occupant inside. She lets out a scream and the camera pulls back, away from the van, as it shakes violently as the jack-in-the-box attacks her.)
NC: (holds up hand) Don't worry, the family will forget she even left.
NC (vo): One of the things I like about this film is you really get a sense of the cold from the blizzard. Whenever they look outside, I can feel the frost off the window; it's that convincing. Though, maybe that's the cold of their wavering interest in their daughter.
Sarah: Beth should be home by now.
Tom: She's fine, she's at Derek's.
(Cut to a black screen with the words "LITERALLY 40 SECONDS LATER" written on it. Then cut back to the movie as Max comes up to his parents.)
Max: It's already dark out and Beth isn't back yet.
Tom: Hey, Howard, do you think your Hummer can get through this mess?
NC (vo; as Tom): We're going back and forth between being redeemable and human garbage. We were wondering if you could help out.
(The next scene shows Howard driving his Hummer through the snowstorm with Tom in the seat beside him.)
Howard: The storm probably knocked out the radio stations, too. What I wouldn't give for a little Bing Crosby right about now. (Tom stares)
NC (vo; as Howard): Erm, that was your cue to start singing. (normal) Back at home, there arose such a clatter, like eight incubi looking for guts to splatter.
(The family hear the sound of footsteps above them.)
Sarah: Probably just squirrels.
(Suddenly, there is a crashing sound as the house shakes like an earthquake!)
NC (vo; as Sarah): Sounds dangerous! Max, check it out!
Sarah: See? Squirrels.
NC: Unless that squirrel looks like this, (points to a shot of Slappy Squirrel in the corner) that seems very unlikely. (nods)
Dorothy: Probably playing with their nuts.
NC: (shrugs) Okay, now I'm wishing it was her (the shot of Slappy reappears) and she brought better jokes!
NC (vo): Meanwhile, the father and uncle make it to the boyfriend's house, but find it's been broken into.
(Tom and Howard shine flashlights around the room. They find the chimney split open and large goat-like hoof prints in the house.)
Howard: Looks like a gas line blew.
NC (vo; as Howard): That, or Krampus.
(Finding nothing, they head back outside. But suddenly, there is a loud snap as Howard gets caught in something and screams. He is then dragged under the snow.)
NC (vo): The uncle gets caught in a trap, and again, for a PG-13, tell me if these don't sound like some gooey R-rated sound effects.
Tom: Howard! (grabs his arm)
(There is loud crunching, splattering and snarling as Tom tries to pull Howard away from whatever it is that's caught him.)
Tom: Don't let go!
NC (vo): That sounds like eight nutsacks filled with bones that are being munched on by eight sets of teeth that also somehow have bones! It really sounds like they're working with what they can.
(Tom takes out a gun and fires at whatever it is that's got Howard. Back at Tom and Sarah's house, they hear the racket.)
NC (vo): The father shoots the monster and they make their way back home.
Sarah: Aunt Dorothy, will you keep an eye on them?
Dorothy: I never liked kids. (Sarah glares) All right! Come on, guys, I'm gonna teach you how to make peppermint schnapps.
NC: She's like if Walmart was a person.
(As everyone sleeps, some gingerbread men lower themselves down through the chimney on a chain and approach Howie, Jr.)
NC (vo): As soon as everyone falls asleep, those exploding "squirrels" they completely forgot about come down the chimney and tempt the fat kid, because fat.
(As Howie, Jr., starts to eat a gingerbread man, it comes to life and roars at him. Another gingerbread man wraps a chain around Howie.)
NC (vo): This is how Roald Dahl puts kids on a diet.
(Having tied up Howie in the chain, the gingerbread men pull on the chain, which pulls on Howie and drags him up through the chimney and away. Howard sees what's happening and goes after his son, who disappears up the chimney, screaming.)
Howard: (looking up the chimney) HOWARD! (also screams)
(Unable to save his son, Howard pulls away from the fireplace and spots his son's shoes, which got pulled off.)
NC (vo; as Howard): Well, the bad news is, I lost our son. The good news is, I found that Behringer kid's father.
Omi: (speaks German)
NC (vo): Grandma finally puts together what's going on and tells them the story about the Krampus.
Omi: Please listen.
Dorothy: (aside) English. I knew it.
NC: (as Dorothy) Hey, it's America. Learn a different language.
(Omi's flashback to her childhood is shown in animated form.)
NC (vo): She talks about when she was in her homeland of (An image of a Puffs commercial is shown in the corner, which the style of animation resembles) Puffs commercials, her village ran out of hope and therefore Christmas spirit. She wished nothing but misery for her family. Thus, Krampus came to make it all come true.
(Krampus destroys her family's home.)
Omi: (narrating) He left me as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost and the Christmas spirit dies.
NC: (as Omi) I also wished to be a dentist, (A shot is shown in the corner of Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer and Hermey the Elf.) but we didn't have the animation budget for that.
Howard: (to the family) You believe this senile horseshit? Next, she'll be yammering about a rabid Easter Bunny come spring.
Tom: (sharply) Howard, that's enough!
NC: (as Tom) Don't ruin the sequel!
(As he says this, a shot of a Cadbury Creme Egg is shown in the corner, with the "-pus" in "Krampus" covering "-bury", so that it reads "Cadpus". On that note, we go to a commercial break. Upon return from the break, the movie resumes with Uncle Howard deciding not to take this anymore.)
NC (vo): So the uncle decides to go out and face the evil, but apparently, that Calvin kid's been dropping by to make more snowmen in their front yard.
(The Krampus darts in between the evil-looking snowmen and Howard retreats back into the house, Sarah slamming the door shut behind her. She leans against the door as everyone looks on in terror.)
Sarah: (whispering) Don't open the door.
NC: (as Sarah) Listen to me, I'm Toni Collette. I piss horror films!
NC (vo): The family tries to figure out what to do, asking Grandma if there's any way to escape.
(Speaking German, Omi reaches out to pinch one of the kids' cheeks, while Max translates what she said.)
Max: It's not what you do, it's what you believe.
NC: (as Omi) Sorry, I used all my English on that story. I'm not even wasting subtitles on you.
(Omi speaks more German.)
Linda: What's she saying?
Dorothy: She says we're fucked. (Omi shrugs)
NC: Now, don't say that again, or else we can't allow kids into the theater. (The MPAA logo appears in the corner as NC pretends to hold up a glass) A toast to never making sense!
Max: (to Dorothy) How did you–
Dorothy: (interrupting rudely) 'Cause I'm old enough to know when life is coming at you with these pants down.
NC: Well, at least the girls know how they were conceived.
NC (vo): Speaking of which, the girls swear they hear Max's sister upstairs in the attic.
Stevie: (shining a flashlight up the stairs) Beth, you up there?
Distorted voice: Maybe. Come upstairs and I'll show you.
NC (vo; as Stevie): Is that your crinkly radio voice we're used to? (normal) Meanwhile in the kitchen, other things are going bump in the night.
(As Howard wanders around the kitchen with his gun drawn, the gingerbread men from earlier peak out from a gingerbread house on the counter.)
NC (vo; as Howard): I need to know which Joe Dante movie we're ripping off now: The Howling or Gremlins.
(Suddenly, Howard hears the sound of the gingerbread men laughing and he swings his gun around.)
NC (vo; as Howard): Aw, shit, toy soldiers!
(The gingerbread men shoot Howard in the groin with a staple gun. They laugh as he groans in pain and then try to shoot at him some more. He ducks out to the way to avoid being hit and the staples hit various parts of the kitchen. The gingerbread men keep laughing.)
NC: (shaking head) I'll admit, I don't usually like CG monsters in horror films, but these gingerbread men...
NC (vo): ...have such playful wanton destruction, it's kind of hard not to laugh along with them.
(Howard fires his gun at the gingerbread men and it blows up the gingerbread house and burns the men up. One is breaking apart while others are running around on fire as their gumdrop buttons melt.)
Gingerbread Man (audio from Shrek): Not my gumdrop button!
NC (vo): Upstairs, the girls are in the process of being eaten alive by a giant jack-in-the-box. Again, the sound design gives the impression the scene is much grosser than it really is.
(To gurgling and growling-stomach sounds, the family watches in horror as the jack-in-the-box finishes eating up Stevie and Jordan.)
NC (vo; mock Russian accent): In Soviet Russia, (The Jack In The Box logo (as in, the fast food chain) is shown in the corner.) jack-in-the-box eats you! (A demonic Christmas tree angel appears.) Oh, and don't forget the Christmas angel! Chucky...Birdman...whatever. (The angel attacks the family.) DIE!
(The family looks up to spot a demonic teddy bear coming at them! Sarah screams as the bear opens its mouth, revealing sharp teeth, and bites down on her leg.)
NC: Aw, people...
(As the scene replays, a shot of the Lil' Shit is shown in the corner.)
NC (vo): ...did buy Lil' Shit.
(Sarah looks up and spots an icicle. She grabs it and stabs the bear in the eye.)
NC: Hey, if it's not red, it's not gory.
(A clip of Osmosis Jones is shown, of someone spurting green blood.)
NC (vo): Osmosis Jones rules!
NC: Man, they're doing all the cheats!
NC (vo): They find one of the sisters is okay, but elves break in, ready to finish the job.
(The elves have tied up Dorothy in a chain.)
Dorothy: See you in Hell!
(The chain then pulls her away, making a "whee!" sound effect as it does so.)
NC: Okay, no "See you in Hell" should be followed by...
NC (vo): ...a "whee!" sound effect.
NC: Maybe in (Image of the following appears in the corner...) Terrifier, but that's a big "maybe".
NC (vo): They make a break for it, but Grandma stays behind to face Krampus alone.
Max: (to Tom) She wants to face him!
(Omi confronts Krampus, who advances toward her and reaches out a claw-like finger to her.)
Butt-head (audio from Beavis and Butt-head): Hey, baby. Like, uh, how much or something?
(Omi looks inside Krampus' sack and sees various demonic toys inside that attack her!)
NC: (shrugs) So "confront Krampus" apparently means...
NC (vo): ..."go out like a bitch", resulting in him quickly catching up to the rest of the family.
(Tom shines a light in the blizzard, trying to find Krampus, who tunnels in through the ground.)
NC (vo; as Krampus): You will show me that wrong turn at Albuquerque!
Tom: (to Sarah) You have to go. (Sarah shakes her head.) I need you to go!
Tom: All of you! (They hug.) I love you. (He hugs Max.)
NC (vo; as Sarah): You know, this monster really helped us grow as a family. Maybe next year, we should take our kids (A shot of Leatherface scaring a baby is superimposed.) to see Leatherface instead of Santa.
(Suddenly, all the rest of the family gets pulled under, one by one, until only Max is left.)
NC (vo): Slowly but surely, everyone gets Tremored to death, leaving Max as the last survivor.
(Krampus appears on his sleigh, pulled by goat-like monsters, his army accompanying him to his sides.)
Max: (suddenly yelling at Krampus) HEY!!! ASSHOLE!!!
NC (vo; as Krampus): Hey, hey! There's no need for that language, fuckface!
Max: I TAKE BACK MY WISH!
(Suddenly, cracks form in the ground underneath and give way, revealing a pool of lava underneath.)
NC: (as Max) Oh, I was kinda thinking this would end like Home Alone...
NC (vo; as Max): ...with everybody walking through the door and everybody learns a lesson and... You know what? I think I'll keep my wish and recommend you to all my friends. Hail Krampus!
Max: (shedding a tear) Take me instead.
(Krampus leans in close and reaches his claw-like finger out to touch Max and wipe the tear from his face.)
NC: Aww, the tears...
NC (vo): ...of true love.
(Suddenly, Krampus grabs Max and holds him into the lava pit!)
NC (vo): Fucking hilarious! Bye!
Max: (struggling) Wait! I'm sorry.
(In the firelight, Krampus' growling face is partially revealed, looking like an decayed old man's corpse.)
NC: Okay, not that I've seen many Krampuses in movies, but that design...
NC (vo): ...has to be in the top three. He looks like he's permanently singing the last note of a Metallica song.
(Krampus then releases his grip on Max and he falls into the lava pit!)
(Suddenly, we cut back to the house on Christmas morning, as Max awakens.)
NC (vo): ...only to discover he's back at home and everything seems to be fine.
(Max goes downstairs to discover his family alive and well.)
Howard: (standing up, stretching his arms and seeing Max) Oh, hey, there he is. Hey, kiddo. We thought the Sugar Plum Fairies may have gotten ya.
Max: I had a bad dream, I guess.
(Tom and Sarah console their son.)
NC (vo): A family Christmas...
NC: ...where no one's complaining about politics? This has to be phony!
(As the film ends, the camera pulls away from the house, revealing it's contained inside a snow globe, which is placed on a shelf with a bunch of other snow globes, all with houses in them as well. They are put there...by Krampus!)
NC (vo): Sure enough, it is, as it seems like they're trapped in a snow globe, along with everyone else who once lost the Christmas spirit.
(Then all the demonic toys pop up in a jump scare and all attack the camera! The screen goes black, ending the film.)
NC: Now, of course, this raises a bunch of questions. Are they really trapped in snow globes? Is this just how...
NC (vo): ...Krampus keeps an eye on families?
NC: Is their entire world in that snow globe, or does it just...
NC (vo): ...look like there's an entire world outside? Can they leave the house? Are they trapped there forever?
NC: (holds up index finger) But all of you are forgetting the number-one question: did the...
(The frozen-dead delivery guy in the van from earlier is shown again.)
NC (vo): ...delivery guy get a snow globe?
(The snow globes at the end are shown again, with the camera zooming in on one globe in particular, with the delivery guy's face edited in.)
NC (vo): Oh, he did. He's just still frozen in it.
NC: Okay, I'm fine never getting answers to the rest.
(Footage of the movie is shown one more time as NC gives his final thoughts on it.)
NC (vo): Krampus, for me at least, is one of those strange movies I notice the flaws while watching, being uneven, boring at times, and not going all the way with the humor, gore or tone, but for some reason, I still have fond memories of. That might be why people are so split on it. A lot of the criticisms against it are correct; it is trying to be a few too many things: mean-spirited, heartwarming, comedic, dramatic gruesome, safe, satire, legit horror. Had it been allowed to go all the way with an R rating, I think people would have overlooked that and had fun with the creativity of the kills. It's not like this director hasn't (The poster for Trick 'r Treat is superimposed.) done something like that before. But it's kind of like (The poster for the following is superimposed...) Tusk: despite its problems, it's hard for me not to remember it in a fond light. I like that it combines practical effects with CG. I like the creativity of the creatures. I like the nods to so many things we associate with Christmas, both the good and the bad. Just like Trick 'r Treat, it surrounds itself in so many things associated with the holiday, while also throwing in a bunch of monsters and satire. Maybe I see it as the horror version of those Christmas romcoms.
(A collage is shown of Christmas romcoms, all on Netflix: A Christmas Prince, Christmas Inheritance, The Holiday Calendar, The Princess Switch, A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding, Holiday in the Wild, Let it Snow, The Knight Before Christmas.)
NC (vo): They're not great, but there's something fun about how ridiculous they can get while also serenading in holiday porn.
(Cut back to Krampus again)
NC (vo): Do I wish it could have gone further on a lot of avenues? Sure. But you can tell they were trying their all to work within the PG-13 limitations.
(Cut to a movie that is PG-13-rated, but feels more PG (I forget which one).)
NC (vo): Unlike other films that should've been R, but were too comfortable being a PG-13, to a point where it practically felt like a PG!
(Cut back to Krampus again)
NC (vo): I understand why it's a mixed bag for some, but there's just enough in it for me to enjoy. And seeing how its popularity seems to be growing every year, I guess I'm not alone. What do you think? Was this the right amount of cheesy horror to keep you in the Christmas spirit? Or do you need (a group of bottles of alcohol is shown on a bar shelf is superimposed) some other Christmas spirits to get through it? Let me know in the comments, as this Christmas season is just beginning.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. (starts to get up) I remem–
(He stops abruptly, however, as he looks down at himself and remembers what he's wearing and sits back down, looking uncomfortable and embarrassed. Wide-eyed, he shifts his eyes around. He looks down at himself again.)
NC: It does breathe more. (whispering) Some people in Chicago might really like this. (nods)
Channel Awesome tagline – Dorothy: Probably playing with their nuts.
(The credits roll.)