(Footage of various Disney films and TV shows play out, starting with showing a caption that says "2021". Also, clips from various Disney video games also play out)
Doug (vo): 2021, the year things got...better? I think it's safe to say this was a transitional year, and for many of us, we coped by doing a lot of streaming. Was Disney a big part of that streaming? You bet it was. But another big part of streaming is also gaming. Yeah, every year for Disneycember, I always try to think of some sort of new, interesting element to add to the mix, and like a lot of you, I played a lot of games growing up, and because Disney owns...what? One third of the planet now?...obviously, there's gonna be some Disney games in there, too. There didn't just have to be old, nostalgic games that I played growing up, there could be current...ish games, too. So I started playing them every night on our Twitch channel and had a lot of fun...for the most part.
(We are shown a clip of Doug struggling to play the Hundred Acre Wood level in the game about to be reviewed, more specifically struggling to touch the beehives from a tree)
Doug: NO! I landed on you! You fucking liar! God, I fucking glided, you goddamn piece of shit!
Doug (vo): I think it'll be interesting to add this new component to Disneycember because, much like Disney itself, games have changed and evolved. They aren't just simple "go and save the princess" stories anymore. (An image of Kairi is shown) Well, okay, there's a little bit more to it. They can have character, they can have depth, they can have worlds they can explore, or, sure, they can be simple side-scrollers, too, but even that has a great art to it. Like a lot of you, I think there is a lot to respect, appreciate, and critique about video games. They've come so far from just two lines knocking a dot back and forth. And Disney, being one of the most popular, imaginative forces on the planet, no doubt can, and has, turned in a lot of good stuff. And like the other years, it isn't just video games we're gonna be looking at, it's gonna be a little bit of everything, movies, TV shows, Marvel, Star Wars, Fox, old, new, as much as I can fit in. Like I said before, it's been an interesting transitional year, and Disney, let's face it, has kind of helped us through the transition. Fairy tales, superhero, sci-fi, and, yes, video games play a big part for many of us in escaping, coping, or both. There's a lot to talk about this year, so let's not waste any time. This is Disneycember: 2021: The one where he started doing games.
(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Kingdom Hearts. Note: The clips that are all shown are from Doug's Twitch streams of himself playing the game)
Doug (vo): Let's talk about one of the biggest Disney video game phenomenons, Kingdom Hearts. Going into this, I knew practically nothing, except that it had something to do with combining anime with Disney. I remember seeing clips all over YouTube and fan art all over DeviantArt, and wondering to myself, "What exactly is this, and by God, why didn't I have this when I was growing up?" After playing it, I find myself saying, "What the hell is this, but why the hell didn't I have this growing up? I would've adored this as a kid." As an adult, I still really, really like it. I feel like it gives what everybody was expecting with this idea.
Story[]
Doug (vo): It opens with three children on an island, Sora, Kairi, and Riku. It took me forever just to even figure out this scenario. Do they have parents? We never see them. Is there a society that lives there? It doesn't matter. What does matter is that Kairi and Sora, voiced by Haley Joel Osment, seem to form a strong friendship, and Riku, the teenager, is angsty and likes showing off. One day, an evil force named Ansem arrives, voiced by Billy Zane, who tempts Riku to join his army of darkness because...he can get him off the island and show him the world. Um...sure. Teen angst, I guess. Kairi is taken and Sora chases after her, and suddenly, Donald and Goofy are in this story. Yeah, like I said, this is just kind of how this all works. They say the same time Kairi disappeared, King Mickey disappeared, and they're searching for him as well. So they decide to join forces and hop from planet to planet, each one having a different Disney world on it...yeah, this really does advertise itself...and they discover more and more Ansem's evil plan, which, again, doesn't have a lot of detail except saying the word "darkness" a lot. Along the way, you have to fight creatures called the Heartless, a rogues gallery of Disney villains, your best friend who constantly monologues between good and evil, and save Kairi, who may or may not still be in this world.
Review[]
Doug (vo): I know story and character has become a much bigger part in video games in the past few decades, so I guess I'll talk about that first before I talk about the actual gameplay. The story and characters are perfectly vague. There's no real detail to how and why everything is going on. It's just kind of these anime characters interacting with these Disney characters and saving people, fighting off foes, and talks of heart and light and darkness, and honestly, if I was a kid, that's all I would need. It reminded me a lot of that scene in the Ninja Turtles movie where they just close their eyes and suddenly, Splinter appears in the middle of the fire. When I'm a kid, that's a real emotional moment. As an adult, it's kind of ridiculous. What do you mean you just concentrate and suddenly your loved one appears in the middle? What the hell is this? But it's also Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You kind of know you're not gonna take it that seriously. And it still appropriately works okay as an emotional moment. If you took that moment and stretched it out to about half the story, I feel like you would have Kingdom Hearts. Kids don't really need that much detail, they just want a "good vs. bad" with maybe a little something complicated in-between, a "I am your father" moment, or a "I'm not the Wizard" moment, something that makes it just a little less black and white. It delivers what it needs to deliver with that perfect vague, childlike innocence. At first, I was put off with it, I think because I am an adult, but then I thought, if I was a kid, I would be in love with this.
(Footage focusing on the game's worlds and animation is shown)
Doug (vo): Let's move on to the look of the game. Well...look at it. It's gorgeous. I can't believe this came out in 2002. I mean, these are just mind-blowing graphics for that time. Honestly, they still look pretty good even now. Yes, you can make fun of the faces that they keep the whole time in some of the cutscenes, like how they smile when somebody dies or something, but when you fly around the clock tower in Peter Pan or under the sea with The Little Mermaid, you really get that feel like you're in those movies. It captured the spirit of them so well. Part of that is, not only the great artistry that went into it...I mean, like I said, just look at it. It's gorgeous...but also the voice acting. They did their best to bring in as many of the Disney voice actors as they could, and if they couldn't get the original actors, they found appropriate replacements. There's just something so satisfying about fighting Oogie Boogie and Captain Hook and Maleficent, and it really feels like you're fighting Oogie Boogie, Captain Hook, and Maleficent.
(Footage focusing on the game's fighting sequences is shown)
Doug (vo): I'll also admit, this is the first time I've ever played a JRPG, and I thought I was going to hate it. Maybe that's because what comes in my mind is the "take turns" thing, where somebody hits you. What do you want to do? You want to hit them back. Now you have to wait for them to hit you. I hate that. I'm way too impatient for that. I get people who like it and I know there's a whole strategy, good for you, that's fine, you do you. I just can't stand it. So I was really happy to see, there is a lot of fighting in this, almost, I dare say, too much. There's a lot of times where I would just skip the characters 'cause I was so sick of fighting them. Again, I think that's more my impatience, I wouldn't fault that on the game at all, I think people do want to fight these things a lot, especially if they grow magic and health and so forth. That's just a personal preference.
(Footage focusing on the game's controls is shown)
Doug (vo): With that said, there are a few things that really got on my nerves, and again, part of that may be just when this game came out. The big one is, the controls. I was playing Last of Us II while I was playing this game, and the controls were so backwards on this game, I had to stop playing the other one. The attack and jump buttons were completely reversed, and I just could not get used to them. And no, there is no option on this re-release that lets you change the buttons or the volume on the music and stuff like that, that was another issue when we were playing this on Twitch. But, okay, I stopped playing the other game and I only focused on this, and eventually, I got used to it. But that's not the end. When you get to levels where you have fly or swim, it isn't like most games where you can kind of work with the camera and project forward, no, no. There's two other buttons that you have to press to go up or down. Thank God these levels look so pretty and had a lot of fun in them, because if not, I would've gone insane. The platforming was also kind of a pain in the ass. I guess this game is kind of infamous for that. Again, for the most part, I got used to it, but there are some areas I could just never get it down, and it got me so frustrated, I just...well, you can see for yourself.
(We are shown more moments of Doug trying, and failing, to get through a section in the Hundred Acre Woods level involving climbing a tree)
Doug: Can't climb up a...goddamn it!
Heather: The platforming just is not the strength.
Doug: Oh, my God! I fucking hate this. Come on! Is this why you guys want me to come back here, so you'd see me fuck up climbing up this goddamn tree?
Heather: This tree is the real final boss.
Doug: I...would fucking believe it! This is fucking ridiculous! Don't f...NO! FUCK THIS TREE! FUCK THIS TREE!
Doug (vo): Aside from that, honestly, the complaints I have about this game are more nitpicky. For example, I know there's gonna be a lot of going back and forth with these levels, and I get that. They can only make these worlds as big as they can, but in something like the Tarzan level, you'll literally go, someone will say a line of dialogue, and you have to go all the way back to a place you just came from, they'll say a line of dialogue, then you have to go all the way back to the place you just came from again, and they repeat this, like, a million times. Even when it starts to get a little better, like they mix it up a little bit and throw in a little bit more creativity, they'll throw in plot threads or character choices that make no sense, just so you can go somewhere else and go through the entire level again. I hate it when you work so hard to get through a level, and then they have you do it all over again for no reason. It's not the worst, it's just a pet peeve.
(Footage focusing on the game's dozens of climactic boss battles is shown)
Doug (vo): I think the last thing that started to get on my nerves a bit is that the game is kind of a cocktease when it comes to final battles. It keeps making you think you're at the end or, at the very least, near the end, and then they kind of pull the rug out under you, and they're like, "Oh, no, no. You still have to go through three more worlds." Like, okay, if there's a surprise boss, I get that. If there's a quick escape level where you gotta get out before everything explodes, I get that, too. It's still like adding a little bit more. But in this, you fight a dragon, then you fight your best friend, and you fight them in this really cool, new location, you've never seen anything like it. The game should be wrapping up around this point. But, no. The mastermind, who's only been a voice throughout most of this that probably should've been saved for another game, comes in and says, "You gotta fight me, too." Well, okay, one more boss isn't bad, but, no. You gotta go all the way back, you have to go through the entire last level again to another last level, where you have to fight all these little creatures, and then you get to the boss, and then it looks like he's dead, but, no, you have to fight more little creatures, and then you have to fight the final boss again. But it's not just fighting him, it's, like, seven parts to fight this goddamn guy, and I don't think there was a save point! I was too afraid to die to find out! But again, that might be my adult mind. I feel like if I was a kid, I would love that this game would keep going and going and having more surprises for me. I think it's the curmudgeon adult that just says, "All right, this was fun. Let me go to sleep now."
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): With all that said, though, I can say, I had a good time playing Kingdom Hearts. Is it a game-changer? It's hard to say, 'cause I wasn't really that big a gamer when it came out. But I can say it's visually dazzling, has a lot of imagination, a fair amount of charm, and just gave me exactly what I wanted out of a game like this, little anime characters going after big Disney villains. Is the story BioShock? No. But I don't think it's supposed to be. I mean, Christ, look at the first thing that's said to you when you start walking around the island in the very beginning. (The first question is shown to be, "What's most important to you?") Who talks like that? But I honestly wouldn't expect anything less from this idea. Again, anime meets Disney. Of course they're gonna talk like this. Even when I was playing this, people were kind of making fun of the dialogue and how many times they say "light" and "darkness" and stuff like that, but again, kind of like that scene in Ninja Turtles, that's part of the fun. I liked it, and anyone that looks at this game and says, "Oh, that sounds a fun idea", I think you'll like it, too. Just keep in mind, everything about it is gonna be focused more on spectacle and enchantment than sense and detail. But if you want to relive the imaginative adventures of childhood, I say, what's wrong with that? I had a good time, and this was only the first part in the Kingdom Hearts...ka-billion-gy, I don't know. See you at the next one.
(A scene showing Sora preparing to finally lock Kingdom Hearts is shown)