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'''Insano''': I want my mommy!
 
'''Insano''': I want my mommy!
   
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'''Linkara''': Nothing! I assure you, nothing is wrong.
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'''NC''': You're a part of this, aren't you?
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'''Benzaie''': Me or him? *points at Linkara*
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'''NC''': Either!
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'''Benzaie''': YES! '''Linkara''': NO!
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''Benzaie and Linkara look at each other.''
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'''Benzaie''': NO! '''Linkara''': YES!
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'''NC''': You ARE against me...
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'''Insano''': Help me, Santa!
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'''Linkara''': You're just paranoid, Critic.
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'''NC''': Who else is in on it?!
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'''Insano''': Help me, Jesus Christ!
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'''Linkara''': We're all your friends, Critic!
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'''NC''': Are you?!
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'''Benzaie''': Yes!
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'''NC''': ARE YOU?!
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'''Insano''': Help me... SANTA CHRIST!
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''Santa Christ comes in, laughing jollily. The NC screams and turns, shooting him dead on. Santa Christ stops and holds his chest, holding his chest in surprise. Everyone looks shocked and sad. Santa Christ falls to the ground, dead.''
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'''Insano''': ...Well, gee, THAT'S sad.
   
   

Revision as of 01:07, 22 May 2010

Kickassia Part 5

NC Kickassia episode 5 by MaroBot

Date Aired:
May 20th, 2010
Running Time
16:31
Website


Kickassia Part 05: The Fall of the Risen

The story opens with panoramic shots of Kickassia. Handsome Tom is shown holding the flag as we cut to Linkara and Benzaie as they sneak around the country. After looking around, he turns to Benzaie.

Linkara: This is ridiculous! We've got NO strategy for this! Plus, he's my arch enemy! It's just...annoying!

Benzaie:...No, they're right. We've got to fight madness with-with madness. And... And he's the craziest we've got. *looks past a disbelieving Linkara.* Are you ready there, Doc?

Dr. Insano: *maniacal laugh* I WAS BORN READY!! HAHAHAHA!

Inside, Nostalgia Critic is watching TV.

Character on TV: Hey, Hogan. Who's that?

Hitler on TV: *German speech*

Insano bursts through the front door and laughs maniacally. The NC turns toward him for a moment.

Nostalgia Critic: Oh, hey! You gave into the madness! That's awesome!

The Nostalgia Critic turns back to the television and Insano comes up behind him. He punches the Critic on the back of the head and he falls over. The NC turns to Insano from the ground.

NC: You miserable cockasaurus!

Insano: Sorry, Critic. But your reign of terror is at an end. Now, a NEW reign of terror begins! MY reign of terror! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

NC: *getting up* Alright, you beaker sucking bozo. You want a piece of me? Well, you've got it.

Insano punches the NC once and he stays standing.

NC: ...OW?!

Insano punches the NC again and the NC stumbles and hits the wall. Insano lifts his fist and runs at the Critic while he yells. The Critic moves at the last moment and Insano accidentally punches the wall. Insano cries in pain and waves his injured hand around. The NC punches Insano and he staggers into the kitchen, collapsing on the counter. The NC raises his fist and runs at Insano. Insano opens a cabinet at the last moment, hitting the NC in the face. The NC stumbles away and stands by the kitchen table. Insano comes over to him and starts slamming the NC's head over and over into the table. After a few hits, the NC stands up and says the following.

NC: Hey, that hurt!

Insano hits the NC's head onto the kitchen table one more time. The NC punches Insano away. As Linkara and Benzaie watch from the window, the NC and Insano trade blow after blow. As they are locked in head lock, Film Brain speeds into the room. He starts screaming as he rushes in.

Film Brain: DIE! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!

Film Brain rushes forward and the NC and Insano push away from each other. Film Brain runs between them and trips, falling to the floor and knocking himself unconscious. Insano and the NC shrug a little then scream and come at each other again. The NC grabs his hammer and starts bonking Insano on the head repeatedly. Insano stumbles away. As they come at each other again, the NC then grabs Insano by the nipples and gives him a titty twister. Insano screams in agony until he takes off his stethoscope. He puts the buds into NC's ears and then screams into the other end at the top of his lungs. The NC's eyes cross in pain and he backs away.

NC: OH MY GOD!

The NC and Insano start punching each other again as the Nostalgia Chick walks in. She is pouring pills into a green can of what is believed to be soda. As the NC and Insano are locked in battle, the NC turns to the Nostalgia Chick.

NC: NOSTALGIA CHICK! Insano's gone... insane! Help me out here, will ya?!

Nostalgia Chick: Oh. Of course. Where are my manners?

Nostalgia Chick picks up a bat and gets behind the NC. She starts hitting him repeatedly. The NC cries out as he's hit. Then he screams while pointing at Insano the following line.

NC: THAT'S Insano.

Nostalgia Chick: *while pointing at her forehead* I need new glasses.

Nostalgia Chick moves behind Insano and raises her bat. Insano turns himself and the Critic at the last moment and the Nostalgia Chick ends up hitting the NC once again repeatedly. After a few hits, the NC turns from Insano to Nostalgia Chick.

NC: No offense, but--- *He punches the Nostalgia Chick and she falls to the ground.*

Insano grabs NC by the neck and drags him backwards. He chokes him until he falls to the ground. Insano then starts punching the NC over and over again in rapid succession until he brings his hand up and punches him one final time and seemingly knocks him out. Linkara and Benzaie cheer slightly and silently. Insano gets up and takes out a walky talky.

Insano: Eagle 1, Eagle 1! This is Test Monkey 2! The NC is down! Repeat, the NC is down!

MarzGurl: *from the other end of the walky talky* Good work, Test Monkey! Return to base after you've destroyed the body.

Insano: Not so fast, Eagle 1! I have a few requests before I dispose of the body.

MarzGurl: What do you mean?

Insano: Well, first of all, "I" want Kickassia!

MarzGurl: But... THAT wasn't part of the deal.

Insano: I am ALTERING the deal! Pray that I don't alter it any further. Oh, wait. Another alteration. Hahaha, you didn't pray hard enough.

As Insano speaks, the NC opens his eyes and gets up, standing behind Insano.

Insano: Uhm... I would also like my own flag made for me. One with the Evolution of Man, except with ME at the end of the line. Oh, and I'd also want my own ice cream parlor. There's never an ice cream stand around when you REALLY need one. Oh, and it better Goddamn well have Chocolate Chocolate Chip! God HELP you if you don't have Chocolate Chocolate Chip! And perhaps a... *He starts turning around, seeing the NC* A, uh... Oh.

The NC picks up his hands and shoots electricity at Insano. Insano is hit and falls to the ground. The NC looms over Insano.

Insano: What ever happened to the purity of unarmed combat?

NC: Well, this is superconductor electromagnetism. Certainly you've heard of it. It levitates bullet trains from Tokyo to Osaka. It will levitate my rocket chair, once it finally arrives. And it also levitates... me.

The NC stands on his tip toes and starts moving around, giving the illusion he's levitating.

Insano: You do realize you're just standing on your tippy toes, don't you?

The NC drops to the ground and pauses for a moment. Then, he shoots a beam of lightning at Insano. Insano screams in pain. He then retaliates and shoots a beam of electricity back at the NC. The NC is hit and staggers backwards.

Insano: Ha! Your superconductor electromagnetism is nothing compared to SCIENCE!

NC: But it IS science!

Insano: Well, I'm sciencier!

Both shoot beams of electricity at each other, struggling to gain the upper hand. Suddenly, the NC stops shooting his beams and moves out of the way. This causes Insano to stumble forward and hit the kitchen wall. He looks up, dazed, at the NC.

NC: Knock knock.

Insano: Who's there?

NC: GUN! *pulls out a gun and points it at Insano*

Insano: *screams like a little girl*

Benzaie and Linkara look at each other, surprised, then run into the house.

Insano: *pointing at the NC* SURRENDER!

NC: No!

Insano: Alright, just thought I'd give it a shot.

Linkara and Benzaie rush into the kitchen.

Benzaie: Wait, don't kill him!

NC: Why not?

Benzaie: Well, technically, it's still Spoony in there!

NC: Mmm, I think I still wanna kill him.

Insano: OH GOD!

Benzaie: Wait, it's not his fault!

NC: *looks sharply at Benzaie* What?!

Benzaie: ...Well, maybe somebody put him up to it!

NC: What are you talking about?

Linkara: Nothing! He's just French. *pushes Benzaie behind him* They just talk. Go, go ahead and kill him.

Insano: I don't wanna DIE!

NC: Is someone conspiring against me?

Linkra: What gave you that idea?

NC: When he said that someone's conspiring against me.

Benzaie: I didn't say that.

Insano: I still have so much more science to do!

Linkara: He doesn't know what he's talking about.

NC: Oh, would a few holes in the DOCTOR HELP?!

Insano: NO!

Benzaie: NO!

NC: Then what's going on?!

Insano: I want my mommy!

Linkara: Nothing! I assure you, nothing is wrong.

NC: You're a part of this, aren't you?

Benzaie: Me or him? *points at Linkara*

NC: Either!

Benzaie: YES! Linkara: NO!

Benzaie and Linkara look at each other.

Benzaie: NO! Linkara: YES!

NC: You ARE against me...

Insano: Help me, Santa!

Linkara: You're just paranoid, Critic.

NC: Who else is in on it?!

Insano: Help me, Jesus Christ!

Linkara: We're all your friends, Critic!

NC: Are you?!

Benzaie: Yes!

NC: ARE YOU?!

Insano: Help me... SANTA CHRIST!

Santa Christ comes in, laughing jollily. The NC screams and turns, shooting him dead on. Santa Christ stops and holds his chest, holding his chest in surprise. Everyone looks shocked and sad. Santa Christ falls to the ground, dead.

Insano: ...Well, gee, THAT'S sad.