Channel Awesome
Don't have an account?
Register
Register
in: Article stubs, The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts, Transcripts

Changes: Kangaroo Jack

Back to page
Edit
No edit summary
Tag: rte-source
No edit summary
Tags: Visual edit apiedit
Line 35: Line 35:
   
 
'''NC:''' ...Well, that's fine, too.
  
'''NC:''' ...Well, that's fine, too.
  +
  +
''(The title for the movie that Malcolm was talking about, ''Kangaroo Jack'', is shown, followed by the clips)''
  +
  +
'''NC (vo):''' Because Jerry Bruckheimer got tired of torturing his adult audiences, he finally said, "Hey! Why don't we mentally scar our children as well?" Released in 2003, this film started off as a mafia comedy geared more towards adults. The studio agreed it wasn't funny enough, though, so they drew inspiration from one of the highest comedic bars at the time, ''(poster of...)'' ''Snow Dogs''.
  +
  +
'''NC:''' Oh, you think I'm kidding?! I'm not kidding!
  +
  +
'''NC (vo):''' Producers were so...''impressed'' by the marketing campaign for ''Snow Dogs'', that they turned this into a family-friendly animal picture. So, not only do you have an unfunny mafia comedy, but you also have an unfunny animal picture, both almost in no way connecting with each other at all. It apparently worked, though, as not only was this ''#1'' at the box office on Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend, but it even spawned an animated sequel, ''(DVD cover for...)'' ''Kangaroo Jack: G'Day, USA!''
  +
  +
''(Cut to the sequence from this direct-to-DVD flick, showing Kangaroo Jack himself rapping "Mama Said Knock You Out" at the boxing ring, with the backup singers and all, to the shock of Jack's opponent)''
  +
  +
'''Jack:''' ''(rapping)'' Don't you dare stare, you better move! Don't ever compare!
  +
  +
'''NC:''' ''(slowly, to the rap music)'' Oh, I'm PU-NI-SHED!
  +
  +
''(Back to the live-action movie)''
  +
  +
'''NC (vo):''' So, how uncomfortable is all this? I refer you back to PU-NI-SHED!
  +
  +
'''NC:''' Let's take a look at not ''Samurai Jack'', but... ''Kangaroo Jack''.
   
 
{{Stub}}
  
{{Stub}}

Revision as of 05:13, 13 September 2017

Kangaroo Jack

NC-Kangaroo-Jack-620x330

Released
September 12, 2017
Running Time
23:33
Previous Review
Next Review
TBA
Link


(2017 NC intro)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it– (suddenly, he abruptly jumps up to his feat; holds up his left hand) Okay, I can't contain it, I am so excited about today's review! I can't believe we're looking over it! (holds up index finger) For the first time ever, we are going to review (takes a deep breath, then holds up a poster for the cartoon series...) Samurai Jack! (grins broadly)

(Cut to a montage of images from Samurai Jack)

NC (vo): I know, right? Said by many to be one of the best cartoons ever made, Samurai Jack hypnotized an entire generation with its stylized animation, surreal humor, and dramatic turns.

NC: I can't believe we get to look over it today!

(As he speaks, Malcolm and Tamara look at each other, perplexed. They speak silently among each other; they must know something the NC doesn't)

NC: This is the greatest job in the world! So, let's (pretends to whip out a sword) whip our our katana blades and get ready for action!

(All the while, Malcolm and Tamara make kangaroo motions, holding up their hands in front of their chests and hopping up and down. Finally, Malcolm walks up to the NC)

NC: For the first time ever, this is–

(But then, Malcolm walks up and whispers in his ear. The NC is stunned, but remains smiling. In spite of his smile, it is clear that he is quite upset at what Malcolm is telling. Still smiling (and Malcolm still whispering in his ear), he slowly tears his Samurai Jack poster in half, wads the torn-up pieces together, and drops them on the floor. Then he slowly takes out his gun and fires several shots at the torn-up pieces of paper on the floor. Malcolm finishes whispering in NC's ear and he nods, then closes his eyes in utter disappointment. He sits back down in his chair, unable to speak)

NC: ...Well, that's fine, too.

(The title for the movie that Malcolm was talking about, Kangaroo Jack, is shown, followed by the clips)

NC (vo): Because Jerry Bruckheimer got tired of torturing his adult audiences, he finally said, "Hey! Why don't we mentally scar our children as well?" Released in 2003, this film started off as a mafia comedy geared more towards adults. The studio agreed it wasn't funny enough, though, so they drew inspiration from one of the highest comedic bars at the time, (poster of...) Snow Dogs.

NC: Oh, you think I'm kidding?! I'm not kidding!

NC (vo): Producers were so...impressed by the marketing campaign for Snow Dogs, that they turned this into a family-friendly animal picture. So, not only do you have an unfunny mafia comedy, but you also have an unfunny animal picture, both almost in no way connecting with each other at all. It apparently worked, though, as not only was this #1 at the box office on Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend, but it even spawned an animated sequel, (DVD cover for...) Kangaroo Jack: G'Day, USA!

(Cut to the sequence from this direct-to-DVD flick, showing Kangaroo Jack himself rapping "Mama Said Knock You Out" at the boxing ring, with the backup singers and all, to the shock of Jack's opponent)

Jack: (rapping) Don't you dare stare, you better move! Don't ever compare!

NC: (slowly, to the rap music) Oh, I'm PU-NI-SHED!

(Back to the live-action movie)

NC (vo): So, how uncomfortable is all this? I refer you back to PU-NI-SHED!

NC: Let's take a look at not Samurai Jack, but... Kangaroo Jack.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.