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Changes: Kamandi at Earth's End 6

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'''Linkara:''' ''(as Boxer)'' And she's probably chastising him about how he needs to get a job so he can move out and give her some damn grandkids.
  
'''Linkara:''' ''(as Boxer)'' And she's probably chastising him about how he needs to get a job so he can move out and give her some damn grandkids.
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' Speaking of, Kamandi and Saphira make their way through the underground tunnels, which now appear to be flooded, though who can tell with this craptastic artwork?
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'''Saphira:''' Th-This is where you used to ''live?''
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'''Kamandi:''' Somethin's happened... It used to be ''nice.'' It wasn't like ''this.''
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'''Linkara:''' ''(as Kamandi)'' Damn low-income housing! It's ruining this whole neighborhood!
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'''Kamandi:''' Watch it-- ''hellrat!'' The hellrats live in the dark places, deep in Mother's data core...
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''(Cut to a clip of ''The Princess Bride'')''
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'''Westley (Cary Elwes):''' Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.
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''(Then a rodent attacks Westley. Cut back to the comic)''
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'''Kamandi:''' Fixer told me about 'em... They escaped from the ''Gotham City genetics lab'' back when the virus hit.
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'''Linkara:''' So, twin clones of Hitler and giant hellrats came from Gotham City's genetics lab. And people laugh when I say scientists are evil!
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'''Kamandi:''' The labs were breeding all kinds of ''mutations...'' Dogs with vocal chords 'n' stuff like that.
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'''Linkara:''' And thus we learn the true origins behind ''(poster for the following appears in the corner...) A Talking Cat!?!''
   
 
'''This guide is not complete. Please finish.'''
  
'''This guide is not complete. Please finish.'''

Revision as of 15:41, 28 June 2020

Kamandi at Earth's End #6

Kamandi at earth s end 6 by mtc studios-d7xvcub-1024x452

Released
September 8, 2014
Running time
20:30
Previous review
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Tagline
Both virtual AND real brutality... on your eyes.
Link

Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. Well, I've put (holds up index finger) one awful sci-fi series with a dopey protagonist and a computer named (makes "finger quotes") "Mother" behind me, so... why not another?

(A montage of shots of the past issues of "Kamandi at Earth's End" is shown)

Linkara (v/o): "Kamandi at Earth's End" tells the tale of a post-apocalyptic future, where men are overinflated parade balloons and women don't wear many clothes, and the clothes they do wear don't make a whole lot of sense. A bunch of chicken robots want to purge the Earth of mutations and whatnot, but they are opposed by Mother Machine. Or Machine Mother, since they flip the name around a lot. At some point, I expect them to start mixing the syllables so we "MA-chine" or something. An artificial intelligence that wants to kill Superman... Oh, I'm sorry, Bearded Idiot... for reasons that are still unclear to me. I dunno, maybe she thought he could still destroy her, but considering he was sitting alone in a bunch of ruins for seemingly a hundred years, you're probably good. Hell, if he didn't try to fight you out of boredom after that much time, he's probably too far gone mentally to be any danger. Also, we learned that books are full of thinking.

Linkara: So let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "Kamandi at Earth's End #6" and put another godawful miniseries to close.

(AT4W title sequence plays, and title has Letters to Cleo's cover of "Cruel To Be Kind" playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): So, last week, we had a good cover to conclude "SCI-Spy", so naturally, the conclusion to "Kamandi" is just crap. What the hell am I even looking at? Kamandi locked in some kind of machine, but he might be sitting, since I think those are his very lumpy knees. And what's with his hair? Did he just get an electrical shock, and so his hair is sticking out? Or are all of those cables actually a bunch of vacuums that are sucking at his hair? Wouldn't surprise me; they're not the only things sucking in this comic. Oh, and there's Slimer from Ghostbusters, I guess. I don't know, your guess is as good as mine at this point. It's like a giant green version of the monster from Basket Case.

Text: VIRTUAL BRUTALITY!

Linkara: So... it's fake brutality.

Linkara (v/o): We open with Bearded Idiot laying in the shadow of a Superman statue, which naturally survived right next to Mother Machine's heavily-guarded compound, despite Mother Machine's obvious contempt and hatred for Superman. Sure, it's just a statue, but we've already established Mother Machine as an emotional being, so why the hell wouldn't she blow the thing up?

Ben Boxer: (narrating) Ben Boxer's Log, October 1, 2101 A.D....

Linkara: (as Boxer) My parents say that I can kill Mother Machine if I can get 50,000 reblogs on this log entry.

Boxer: (narrating) Sky City withstood the attack of Machine Mother.

Linkara: If by (makes a "finger quote") "withstood", you mean, "had more holes put in it than elevator doors in an action movie".

Linkara (v/o): The attack has ceased for the moment, so Ben Boxer is bringing down the surviving chicken robots to investigate just what the hell happened.

Boxer: (narrating) Thanks to the book we took from the girl Saphira, we knew that Machine Mother's brain core was located six miles under the New York bunker.

Linkara: Books are not only full of thinking, they're full of spoilers.

Linkara (v/o): Ben Boxer's forces send in condensed solar energy into Superman to save his life, and he reports how he was able to fly and how Saphira and Kamandi are also still alive.

Boxer: Listen, Superman--if the kid is alive, then he's probably down in the bunker... seeing his precious Mother.

Linkara: (as Boxer) And she's probably chastising him about how he needs to get a job so he can move out and give her some damn grandkids.

Linkara (v/o): Speaking of, Kamandi and Saphira make their way through the underground tunnels, which now appear to be flooded, though who can tell with this craptastic artwork?

Saphira: Th-This is where you used to live?

Kamandi: Somethin's happened... It used to be nice. It wasn't like this.

Linkara: (as Kamandi) Damn low-income housing! It's ruining this whole neighborhood!

Kamandi: Watch it-- hellrat! The hellrats live in the dark places, deep in Mother's data core...

(Cut to a clip of The Princess Bride)

Westley (Cary Elwes): Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

(Then a rodent attacks Westley. Cut back to the comic)

Kamandi: Fixer told me about 'em... They escaped from the Gotham City genetics lab back when the virus hit.

Linkara: So, twin clones of Hitler and giant hellrats came from Gotham City's genetics lab. And people laugh when I say scientists are evil!

Kamandi: The labs were breeding all kinds of mutations... Dogs with vocal chords 'n' stuff like that.

Linkara: And thus we learn the true origins behind (poster for the following appears in the corner...) A Talking Cat!?!

This guide is not complete. Please finish.

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