Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman
July 6, 2015
You will believe a man can try to become rich and famous!
Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. (throws arms wide) Excelsior, my friends!
(A shot of Stan Lee is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Ah, Stan Lee! Many Marvel Comics characters are ascribed to be his creations.
(Shots of a caricatured Lee in his comics are next shown, including the infamous "Nightcat")
Linkara (v/o): He's a beloved comics icon, one of the last remaining Golden Age creators still alive*, and he appears in pretty much every Marvel movie, to the point where Deadpool should wave to when he shows up in his movie. He wrote "Nightcat", although we won't hold that against him. Does he deserve all the credit given to him for creating so much of the original Marvel Universe?
- NOTE: Lee passed away on November 25, 2018, at 95.
(A shot of the first "Fantastic Four" comic is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Eh, possibly not, but his place in history is still pretty damn secure, and he still deserves some of the credit, particularly for scripting and managing so much of Marvel back in the early days.
Linkara: But like the Marvel Comic series of the same name, why don't we play a little game of "what if?", shall we? What if Stan Lee created the DC Universe instead?
(Cut to a shot of the DC series, "Just Imagine Stan Lee the DC Universe", which was a thing apparently, as Linkara explains...)
Linkara (v/o): And that was the subject of a 13-issue series started in 2001, each issue a one-shot reimagining some DC character or event, with only some vague basics of the premise, but going off in whatever direction Stan decided to go with it. We're going to cover four of them this month, although it's likely we'll come back to this in the future.
Linkara: In the meantime, (points to camera) face front, true believers, as we dig into (holds up today's comic) "Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman"!
(AT4W theme plays; title card has "Superman's Song" by Crash Test Dummies playing in the background; cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)
Linkara (v/o): The cover is okay and gives us our first look at Stan Lee's version of the Man of Steel. And as you can see, it's quite a bit of a departure. If it weren't for the Superman logos on his chest, you probably wouldn't think this had anything to do with Superman at all. It's not a bad costume, either. I'm not gonna judge it by how much it resembles Superman, since the entire idea is to revamp the character as Stan would make it, given the basic premise. What I can tell, though, from the scattered panels around this Superman is that he likes to punch things. The left side has someone being knocked through a wall, presumably by punching; the right panel directly has punching; the lower right has him ripping off chains and looking like he wants to punch something; and in particular, in this corner [the lower-left corner], we see our hero and his desire to punch clock towers.
(Open to the first page)
Linkara (v/o): We open in "The Beginning"...
Linkara: (waving dismissively) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we have to start from act two or three; that's where the plot really gets going.
Narrator: A far distant galaxy in another universe.
Linkara: So, Superman is from another dimension? Did Atomic Robo fight Superman last week?
Narrator: No point telling you its name. You couldn't even begin to pronounce it.
Linkara: Unless this Superman has three tongues and more vocal chords in his otherwise humanoid appearance, I call bullcrap.
Linkara (v/o): We see Superman [here called Salden] glaring at the reader while he's working on his alien Bowflex machine. Nearby is some pale woman [Lyella] in an old-timey dress.
Lyella: Just think, Salden, the discovery of the space/time bender will change our world forever.
Linkara: Ah, so they've discovered (makes "finger quotes") "Bender's Big Score". That was always my favorite of the Futurama movies, too.
Linkara (v/o): Also, kids, don't play with anything that bends space and time. This is how we got composite Hitler and Stalin, who was also a werewolf. It's apparently something that will allow them to travel across space instantaneously. However, our soon-to-be-Superman is unimpressed.
Salden: I get enough kicks as a law bringer, Lyella. When I'm back from mopping up the slimeballs, then you, baby, provide all the excitement I need.
Linkara (v/o): On going back to that unpronounceable galaxy, Stan gives us this narration...
Narrator: I've taken the liberty of translating our characters' dialogue into basic Earth, for those of you whose galactic vocabulary may be a bit rusty.
Linkara: And yet it's good to know that, in their strange, sophisticated, alien language, they still have the slang for the word ("finger quotes") "baby".
Linkara (v/o): I wonder what other things their language apparently has. What is the pseudo-Kryptonian for "popcorn chicken"? Oh, and thanks, Stan, for letting me know that "basic Earth" equals "English". Anyway, Buff Hardback here is weightlifting, because the other cops on his team have all been genetically modified to be super-strong, so he needs to constantly exercise to compensate.
Salden: You know I can't being the weakest of all. I want to be the mightiest, the best. I want my exploits to be as strong as my love for you.
Linkara: (as Salden) If only someday our people would invent "the montage", but that is but a fool's dream.
Lyella: I wish you didn't have to go, darling. I feel a strange sense of impending doom!
Linkara: (as Salden) Damn it, baby, we're trying to reduce Superman's origins here! Save your Spider Sense for later!
Linkara (v/o): With that, Slab Bulkhead jumps out the window and flies off. Yep, he can fly already.
Salden: This new shoulder harness the department issued me is the quietest of all. Even at full power, it doesn't make a sound.
(Cut to a clip of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 gang watching The Mole People: it's a shot of a mountain covered in clouds)
Mike: I could go on and on forever about the silence.
(Cut back to the comic)
Salden: Silent flying harnesses, space-time benders-- there's nothing science can't do!
Linkara: Wait, so in this story, Superman is that guy from all the Pokemon games who talks about how awesome science is?
Linkara (v/o): He flies down to his team, which is in the middle of a hostage situation. Some terrorists have taken an interplanetary cruise bus hostage. The other cops want him to stay behind them, since, well, they're genetically modified and stuff, but then the terrorists toss out stun grenades that knock out the guys in front.
(Cut to a bright white explosion scene)
Offscreen voice: Ah, you fools!
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): Actually, it's kind of surprising they're using stun grenades. You'd think terrorists would be the ones to use, you know, exploding ones. Then again, the "stun grenades" do seem to be blowing off their armor. Maybe they stun you in the sense that since you're dead, you're as good as stunned? Also, why is Salden the only one wearing the red-and-blue uniform instead of a darker green-and-brown outfits his fellows are wearing? "Genetically modified" must mean "smart enough to wear body armor". Then again, that didn't seem to stop these stun grenades, so maybe Salden figures if he's gonna die, he'll at least look fashionable. Salden grabs a grenade of his own and tosses it at the bus.
Salden: Now you stay back, squadmen, while I save your butts! I'll toss the bomb over the cruiser--to the starboard side-- that'll make them direct their fire away from us!
Linkara: (as Salden, loudly) It's a good thing I'm being so quiet and subtle about my plan! It'd be really bad if they knew what it was!
Linkara (v/o): However, the plan works and they're distracted, allowing Salden to slip underneath the bus and crawl in through an emergency hatch. Once inside, he starts beating up the terrorists single-handedly, although, since this is Stan Lee writing it, he loudly announces what he's doing while he performs these feats. It's been over 350 episodes, and I still don't understand this, especially from Stan Lee. He pioneered the "Marvel Method", AKA the creative comes up with a loose idea of the story, the artist draws it, and then the writer comes in and scripts it. He could clearly see the art, so why does he feel the need to have his characters exposit loudly what the art is showing us? Anyway, later on, we cut to a maximum security prison, where a convict named Gorrok manages to steal a flying harness from one of the guards.
Linkara: You'd think if they had flying harnesses in prisons, that they'd be, you know, flying to keep that sort of thing from happening.
Linkara (v/o): Gorrok was apparently sent to prison by Salden, and thus he decides to head to Salden's place to get his revenge. However, he instead finds Salden's girlfriend, Lyella.
Narrator: Seconds later...
Linkara (v/o): And she's tied up in this panel. Man, Gorrok must have been an Eagle Scout or something. Getting her tied up and gagged in only a few seconds is impressive. Less impressive is that he hears sirens and decides to take his revenge out on Lyella, murdering her off-panel.
Salden: Lyella! LYELLA! NOOOOO!
Linkara: (as Salden, imitating his melodramatic tone) THAT HAIRCUT LOOKS TERRIBLE!
Salden: Lyella is dead! Gorrok killed her because of me! I've lost the one who meant more to me than anything else in the world!
Linkara: (as Salden) You were such a richly-nuanced and developed character, too!
Linkara (v/o): Also, man, I know you're grieving, but I think you need to check with somebody about your hands. What the hell's going on with those? Anyway, Salden quickly learns that Gorrok is on his way to the launchpad for the space/time bender, and indeed, we cut to him shooting the pilots.
Gorrok: There's no place in this galaxy left for me to hide! But that ain't stoppin' Gundor Gorrok! This two-man space/time bender is my ticket outta here!
Linkara (v/o): It's a good thing he mentioned that spaceship is a two-seater. I was worried we'd find out it's an SUV or something.
Gorrok: And since this is the only ship of its kind-- there's no others that can follow me! So once I set course for an air-breathin' planet in another galaxy, I'm home free!
Linkara: (as Gorrok) And since this is a one-of-a-kind spacecraft, I instantly know how to pilot it.
Linkara (v/o): However, he spots Salden running up to the ship and decides to let him in and get his full revenge. However, to make sure he can't stop him, Gorrok has the ship take off, sending Salden flying to the back of the ship. The two begin brawling it out, with Salden's rage allowing him to gain the upper hand.
Salden: How about I do what all the prisons and lockups couldn't do? How about I rid the universe of you once and for all, you slimy, stinkin', murderin' maggot?
Linkara: Ah, such a sophisticated and eloquent language this alien culture has.
Linkara (v/o): With nobody operating the controls, the ship hurtles out of control until it arrives at – where else? – Earth. Gorrok knocks Salden out.
Gorrok: No time to finish him off. Lucky there's a spare shoulder harness on board.
Linkara: Of all the plot holes Stan Lee decided to address, he chose the (makes "finger quotes") "Where did Gorrok get a new flying harness?" issue. A plot hole that wasn't really one, since he could have just had the same one he took from the prison.
Linkara (v/o): The ship crashes into the ocean as Gorrok escapes. Salden awakens and thinks he's done for, since the pressure is preventing him from opening the hatch. However, upon just leaning against it, he finds himself strong enough to open the door and then zooms to the surface. He swims for the coast, narrating to himself along the way.
Salden: It--isn't possible! I'm swimming like a human missile!
Linkara: (as Salden) Like a non-human human missile!
Salden: Even those hungry, sharp-toothed creatures can't keep up with me!
Linkara: (as Salden, holding up fist) Eat my dust, Just Imagine Stan Lee-created Aquaman!
Linkara (v/o): He takes a rest on a beach – and is almost immediately set upon by three goons.
Goon 1: Hey, we found ourselves a turkey!
Linkara: Ah, so the space/time bender brought him to Earth in the '70s.
Goon 2: Wake up, pretty boy! Anyone who sleeps on our beach gotta pay for the priv'lege!
Linkara: How is business doing in the beach extortion racket?
Linkara (v/o): In response, Salden lifts the guy up by his belly button. Yeah, I'm sure it's supposed to be his belt, but it looks more like he's pinching his belly button.
Salden: I don't understand your stupid-sounding lingo-- but nobody mauls me, get it?
Narrator: Remember, class, we're translating Salden's into English for you from its original basic intergalactic!
Linkara: Thank you, Stan, I was really confused right there since I had forgotten about the other narration box where you told us that thirteen pages ago. (shrugs)
Linkara (v/o): Salden tosses them away, much to his own surprise about how strong he is.
Salden: Damn! My wrist communicator fell off!
Linkara (v/o): The wrist communicator? That is not in any other shots. Whatever.
Salden: But--I don't get it! Look at how slow it's falling!
Linkara: (as Salden, pointing offscreen) Look, audience! Look at how it's falling!
Linkara (v/o): He realizes the gravity of Earth is much weaker than his own planet. Thus, he's able to move faster and be stronger.
Salden: Compared to the people of this world-- I'm some sort of super man!
Linkara: (as Salden, looking thoughtful) No, wait, that's a stupid name. (looks up, holding up index finger) Wait, I've got it! Blast Hard Cheese!
Linkara (v/o): I just noticed this, but he's also got a big S-shaped scar on his face. I bet if this was Man of Steel, he'd say it's not an S, it's their word for "Ow!" in his language. He decides to check out Earth and see what things are like. He discovers some more of his powers. The lighter gravity means he can leap around, and the thinner atmosphere gives him something akin to telescopic vision.
Linkara: And clearly, a thinner atmosphere also means he should be able to breathe easier, just like how people find it super easy to breathe on Mars.
Linkara (v/o): He also discovers his flight harness was damaged, but he decides to keep wearing it in honor of his home world. He wants to go back, if only to honor Lyella's memory, but not before he's avenged her death. Walking around a nearby city, he's apparently able to absorb the language just friggin' LOOKING AT IT!!
Salden: (thinking) Amazing! Only 26 letters in their language! Back home, our alphabet has more than a thousand!
Linkara: Kryptonian Sesame Street must be fun.
Linkara (v/o): And yeah, I know it's not called Krypton in this story, but if Stan isn't gonna bother giving us a name, it might as well be. Anyway, people begin to comment on his attire.
Person 1: S'matter, dude, didja lose the Starship Enterprise?
Linkara: Yes, my favorite of the Starfleet uniforms is the one that featured a cape. (shrugs)
Person 2: Hey, glop onto the far-out hunk!
Person 3: Wow! He could frazzle my fantasies any time!
(Linkara stares, utterly stumped, then cut to a clip of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series)
Melvin: You're not even speaking English at this point!
(Cut back to the comic)
Salden: (thinking) Listen to them! I'm marooned on a planet of clowns! Their language is so simple, I've fathomed it already.
Linkara: (frustrated) THAT IS NOT HOW LANGUAGE WORKS!!
Narrator: Which is lucky for me! No more translating!
Linkara (v/o): And we immediately cut to Gorrok interacting with some tribe from... I don't know, South America? Africa? It doesn't say. It's just a population of half-naked black guys who all have the same haircut. And considering Stan's claim that he doesn't need to translate anymore, I'm guessing he really does think everybody on Earth speaks English.
Gorrok: You saw me fly down from the sky. So that makes me a god, right?
Tribal chieftain: A true god can defeat my warriors in battle!
Linkara: Just imagine Stan Lee creating... racist stereotypes.
Linkara (v/o): And indeed, after he kicks all their asses with a tree trunk, they start worshiping him as a god. However, he soon grows bored with lounging around in a tropical paradise and decides to see if there are any more advanced cities around... where he'll probably still just lounge around after conquering them, so I don't see the point. Back over to Salden, he comes across a circus that has apparently needed to cancel their show because their trapeze artist injured his ankle.
Linkara: A real pity, that. I even heard that Bruce Wayne was going to see the performance of the Flying Graysons, but... (shrugs) hey, them's the breaks.
Linkara (v/o): Salden says he can do the trapeze act, and although the circus owner is reluctant to trust some random asshole, he figures at least he'll be able to open his show this way. Wow, must be a really crappy circus if the only attraction is a trapeze artist. And indeed, Salden is able to wow the crowds with a show of strength and acrobatics, thanks to his leaping powers. The owner pays him and asks for his name. Salden, thinking that people may not take kindly to an alien, comes up with the alias "Clark Kent", based on some nearby signs. And apparently, he made enough money from one day of the circus act to... rent an apartment, which I presume came fully furnished, since I don't see Salden going out for furniture shopping.
Linkara: (as Salden, sadly) This was Lyella's favorite type of credenza! (sobs) Does it come in red?
Linkara (v/o): As well as buying a TV and a computer. Who knew the circus paid so well? Anyway, he did this to learn more about Earth.
Salden: But I don't like what I'm learning. They've only taken the first steps in space travel. They're nowhere near discovering the space/time bender.
Linkara: (as Salden) And their porn technology is light-years behind ours!
Linkara (v/o): He wonders aloud about how they're spending all their money on things like war and crime and traffic accidents, but since no progress seems to be made on it, they'll never have the right technology in his lifetime. He then wonders if that means fate sent him here for a reason: to use his powers to help these people.
Salden: If my powers could help abolish war and crime, maybe they'd have the trillions they'll need to span the galaxies!
Linkara (v/o): (dramatically) Superman: helping you spend government funding on space travel! (the logo and music disappear; normal) Even then, Superman, maybe you shouldn't be helping these people. After all, war and crimes and stuff are problems that are "over there", and "over there" needs to take care of itself. There's a knock on the door, revealing a reporter who heard about the circus incident and would like to interview him, but Salden just tells him to piss off.
Salden: No time for interviews. First, I've gotta find Gorrok... Then I'll lick the crime problem here--so they can concentrate on their space program.
Linkara (v/o): And then, the very next panel...
Salden: Looks like the last tenant left some comic books behind.
Linkara: (as Salden) No time for interviews. (holds up fist) I have to fight crime and– (pretends to pick up a comic book) Ooh, "Unbeatable Squirrel Girl"!
Linkara (v/o): Drawing inspiration from the superhero comics, he figures he should take on a secret identity in case the government comes around to try to dissect him. He'll claim that his powers come from his suit. Meanwhile, Gorrok is casually walking through the city, ripping open ATMs to get cash. However, when he passes by the Church of Eternal Empowerment, owned by a Reverend Dominic Darrk...
Linkara: Pro tip: don't go to a church if the Reverend's name is "Darrk". It's like going to the church officiated by "Harold P. Satan". I don't care if it's pronounced "Sa-TAN", it's just asking for trouble!
Linkara (v/o): An elderly couple invite Gorrok in, claiming that Reverend Darrk knew he was coming. Curious, Gorrok enters and meets with the Reverend, who naturally wears face-concealing robes...
(Cut to a shot of the first panel of "Teen Titans #13: A Swingin' Christmas Carol", showing the Titans, disguised as the Ghosts of Christmas, surrounding Mr. Scrounge)
Linkara (v/o): ...and actually looks more like one of the Ghosts of Christmas from "Teen Titans #13".
(Cut back to the Superman comic)
Gorrok: What kinda stupid game you playin'? Me, I don't like games!
Linkara: (as Gorrok) I mean, you restore your humanity points by dancing in a club for five minutes? What kind of a lame mechanic is that?!
Linkara (v/o): Darrk tells him Gorrok was chosen to serve him, but Gorrok isn't taking any crap, lifting up a bench to throw at the Reverend. However, with the wave of his hand, Darrk reduces the bench to ashes. With that little demonstration out of the way, Gorrok follows Darrk through a portal. Back over to Salden, he has yet another visitor: Lois Lane, except she's not a reporter in this version.
Lois: I'm an agent. I can make you rich and famous.
Salden: (thinking) If I become famous, Gorrok may come after me!
(Once again, the Superman logo appears, accompanied by John Williams' "Superman Theme")
Linkara (v/o): (dramatically) Superman: fighting for truth, justice, and becoming rich and famous! (the logo and music disappear as Linkara speaks normally again) So Lois talks about promoting him as Superman. However, they are interrupted by a group of government agents suddenly storming inside, demanding he hand over his suit.
Salden: Here, take it. I'd like it dry cleaned and returned in the morning. No starch, okay?
Linkara: So, Krypton has American slang, clowns, and similar laundry practices. I'm just trying to keep a running tally here of our less-advanced civilization.
Linkara (v/o): One of the agents tries to use the harness to fly, but of course, it does nothing. Salden refuses to explain how it works, and then suddenly, yet another person storms in: a lawyer who demands they return the harness to Salden, or else they'll sue. And they agree... because, apparently, the government is suddenly afraid of lawsuits, I guess. But yeah, Lois hired the lawyer in advance to help with this sort of crap.
Salden: The TV's still on! There's a news flash!
Linkara (v/o): What do you mean "still on"? It was never on to begin with! You were still reading comic books when Lois stopped by! Anyway, the news reports that the President of China was captured by terrorists in Los Angeles, and naturally, the Chinese government is pretty pissed off, to the point of actually threatening war if he isn't returned in twelve hours. The terrorists, in turn, have demanded ten billion dollars.
Salden: (thinking) If there's a war, it could set their space program back for decades!
Linkara: And, you know, the several million people who would die, but look out, guys! We may not launch another space shuttle!
Linkara (v/o): Salden leaps out a window – and arcs upward and flies. Uh, did he also spend some of that money repairing the flight harness? Anyway, he apparently figured out where the Pentagon was because he flies out there and right into the middle of a meeting, where a general is saying they have to acquiesce to the terrorists' demands.
Salden: I have a plan. It's a long shot, but it might work. It's something only I can do!
(Linkara is seen wearing a soldier helmet and holding a lit cigar in his hand)
Linkara: (gruff-sounding voice) Well, I guess we'll hear you out. The only other plan we have is Batman involving Hostess Cupcakes.
Linkara (v/o): His plan isn't actually all that bad. The government makes the drop-off of the money as requested, only within the packaging is Superman. The terrorists then use a helicopter that sends a special signal down towards the ground, making it actually open up and take the package. Superman gets out of the packaging, ready to spring himself on the terrorists, buuut instead, he only finds Gorrok, who is holding Lois Lane hostage.
Lois: Clark, who is this man? How does he know you?
Linkara: (incredulously) How does he know him? How does he know you?? It's been, like, less than a day, and Gorrok is already taking you prisoner?
Linkara (v/o): Gorrok's goons chain up Superman, but of course he easily breaks out of them.
Salden: You shouldn't have reminded me of Lyella! Now nothing in the cosmos can stop me!
Linkara (v/o): And the sound effects apparently decide to echo him.
Salden: NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!!
(Cut to a clip of Weird Al Yankovic's movie UHF)
Kuni (Gedde Watanabe): Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): After beating up some guys, he frees Lois from the chains.
Lois: Clark, you're wonderful! This'll be sure to get you a spot on Jay Leno! And think of the endorsements-- Nike! Kellogg's! Nintendo!
Linkara: (as Lois) I can see it now: the Statue of Liberty gives you missions as you pursue the Zod Gang and learn about the stock market!
Linkara (v/o): Superman flies Lois out of this location, which just happens to be the sewers beneath the city, and heads back in to find the president. And all Lois can think about is worrying about Supes dying, since she'll lose her biggest client.
Linkara: And... (makes a waving motion with his hand) you know, World War III is somewhere on that list of things to worry about.
Linkara (v/o): After even more goons get beat up, Gorrok tries to use some kind of bazooka or laser cannon or something to kill Salden, but he misses and instead just causes a cave-in that kills him.
Linkara: Our hero, who barely had to do anything to save the day!
Linkara (v/o): To make a long story short, Superman finds China's president attached to a clock tower, rescues him from an explosion, and war is averted. Later, Superman fears that Gorrok may have survived the cave-in and wonders where he got the terrorists that helped him with all this. However, Lois tells him not to worry about this stuff and instead worry about his many endorsement deal offers they're getting.
Salden: Know somethin', Lois? You're a treat for the eyes, but we're just not on the same wavelength!
Linkara: (as Salden) Maybe if you had some kind of premonition of doom, I'd be into you, but for now... eh... (wiggles hand around)
Linkara (v/o): And so, our comic ends with the two walking by Reverend Darrk's church, Superman thinking once more of who could have helped Gorrok, while Lois thinks about getting a 10% cut of his earnings.
Linkara: (grinning) Thank goodness you're thinking about that and not the nuclear war you guys averted. (laughing and waving dismissively) That'd just be silly. (closes comic and holds it up) Anyway, this comic sucks.
Linkara (v/o): Don't get me wrong, a lot of it is just okay, and credit where it's due. It's 42 pages and normally, something that long on the show means they'd waste time, but actually, this book is very efficient, establishing a lot and moving at a good pace. However, the biggest flaws of it are the inconsistencies and the unlikable characters of our heroes. The inconsistencies are really just things like changing motivations on a whim or forgetting plot points like the broken harness. But then there's just the fact that Superman is motivated purely by self-interest. Same for Lois, for that matter. He cares not a fig about humanity and just wants to get their space program going so he can get home again, assuming he even can. Plus, there's just the annoying fact that Superman's origin in this universe is basically just a "women in refrigerators" moment. Neither he nor Lois are actually interested in helping people, and that's a big turn-off for a superhero. I will say there are a lot of good ideas for the comic. Hell, I would have loved the idea of the book focusing on the fact that he's the weakest on his planet, the odd man out among his people, but that as soon as he arrives on Earth, he's stronger than even than his fellows. He's the one at the top here. It's here where he's a Superman. But nope, let's focus on him trying to get rich and famous.
Linkara: Next time, we'll continue our look at Stan Lee's reimagining of classic DC characters... (smiles) and see how he tackles the Dark Knight.
(End credits roll)
I stand by my assessment that Stan Lee's Superman likes to punch things.
There are also backup stories in the books about people's reactions to these heroes appearing, but I've decided to skip those and focus on the heroes themselves.
(Stinger: The panel showing the government agents storming Salden's apartment is shown again)
Linkara (v/o): So, like, did the government agents just kind of stick around after they were told they'd be sued? Just in the room when they hear that report? Okay.