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Jack

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NC: God, this explains Carlos Mencia so well.
 
NC: God, this explains Carlos Mencia so well.
   
NC (voiceover): Cut to a mere…Pbbbt, ''ten years later'' (accompanying subtitle appears)—Yeah! Because I’m sure ''nothing'' interesting happened in that amount of time; no reporters, no news stories, no TMZ stalkers—where we see Jack is now ten but looks like he’s about 40. So he stays at home being taught by his teacher (speaks like Bill Cosby) Bill Cahsby, (normal) who thinks it’s time for him to start going to public school.
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NC (voiceover): Cut to a mere…Pbbbt, ''ten years later'' (accompanying subtitle appears)—Yeah! Because I’m sure ''nothing'' interesting happened in that amount of time; no reporters, no news stories, no TMZ stalkers—where we see Jack is now ten but looks like he’s about 40. So he stays at home being taught by his teacher (speaks like Bill Cosby) Bill Cosby, (normal) who thinks it’s time for him to start going to public school.
   
 
Karen: I don’t think he can…fit in. I wish he could.
 
Karen: I don’t think he can…fit in. I wish he could.
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Jack: If you want it.
 
Jack: If you want it.
   
NC (voiceover): (as a boy reading a Penthouse magazine) Hey, check out this one. Four whores on a carrot!
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NC (voiceover): (as a boy reading a dirty magazine) Hey, check out this one. Four whores on a carrot!
   
 
Boy #4: Swank?
 
Boy #4: Swank?
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NC (voiceover): Um, is this really appropriate music to play? I mean, it’s not like he’s coming out or feeling better. He’s still crying like mad in his room. This really doesn’t seem to fit! Do other crying scenes work as well with this music?
 
NC (voiceover): Um, is this really appropriate music to play? I mean, it’s not like he’s coming out or feeling better. He’s still crying like mad in his room. This really doesn’t seem to fit! Do other crying scenes work as well with this music?
   
(Cut to a clip from “Marley and Me” with John Grogan (Owen Wilson) comforting Marley (a dog), who lays dying on a surgery table)
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(Cut to a clip from “Marley and Me” with John Grogan (Owen Wilson) comforting Marley (a dog), who is lying on a surgery table)
   
 
John: It’s okay. They’re not doing anything. Remember how we were always saying what a pain you are? That you are the world’s worst dog?
 
John: It’s okay. They’re not doing anything. Remember how we were always saying what a pain you are? That you are the world’s worst dog?
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Louis: …Jack.
 
Louis: …Jack.
   
(Baptism organ music plays briefly as Louis and Jack smile at each other)
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(Funeral organ music plays briefly as Louis and Jack smile at each other)
   
 
NC: Nah, it still sucks. Still sucks.
 
NC: Nah, it still sucks. Still sucks.
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(The movie’s title card “Seven Years Later” appears)
 
(The movie’s title card “Seven Years Later” appears)
   
NC (voiceover): Oh, for God’s sake - how often are they gonna skip around gigantic periods of time that we’d actually be interested in seeing?! (An image of Mr. Peabody and Sherman from “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” appears briefly) Peabody and Sherman stayed in time periods longer than this!!
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NC (voiceover): Oh, for God’s sake. How often are they gonna skip around gigantic periods of time that we’d actually be interested in seeing?! (An image of Mr. Peabody and Sherman from “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” appears briefly) Peabody and Sherman stayed in time periods longer than this!!
   
 
(At the graduation ceremony, we see Jack appearing a little older with just whiter hair)
 
(At the graduation ceremony, we see Jack appearing a little older with just whiter hair)
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