(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing trailer clips and screenshots from Iron Man 3)
Doug (vo): Iron Man 3, a film everyone agrees is better than the last one...and that's about it. People are split about whether or not this is actually a really good, entertaining film, but, once again, it almost doesn't matter because it stars the person you all come to see: Robert Downey Jr.. I'm beginning to think you can put this guy as Tony Stark in Batman & Robin, and he would somehow still make it work. But, with that aside, does the film actually work as a whole? Well, it depends on the point of view you're coming from.
Doug (vo): Okay, so Tony Stark is back in his hometown after the events of The Avengers. One major downside, though, is that now he's getting panic attacks. Yeah...kind of out of nowhere. They try to explain it that...yeah, if you go through this, you might get panic attacks, too, but...I don't know. Isn't that a little strange that Tony Stark is getting this? I mean, this is a guy that survived terrorist attacks, he had to replace his heart with his metal light thingy...I know they're trying to add this layer of realism, but it seems a little odd. But, whatever. He's being threatened by the terrible Mandarin, the leader of a terrorist organization that vows to take him down. After nearly killing his bodyguard, Tony Stark swears to go after the Mandarin and does the incredibly foolish thing of giving him his home address. On public TV. For all the world to see. With...no plan after that. And, big frigging shock, the Mandarin comes after him and blows the house up. This may be the single dumbest thing a superhero has ever done. There's other good things in the movie, I'm gonna get to it, but I just want to go on record saying, "That is probably the stupidest thing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe." So Tony is separated from the world and befriends a small child who tries to get him back on his feet. Along the way, discoveries are made, secret plans are revealed, and, of course, even more action and crazy technology starts to get going.
Doug (vo): Okay, so let's once again talk about the good stuff. The action in both Iron Man movies seemed very minimal and didn't always play that much to the strength of the plot. Here, it's a lot better. There's not only a wide variety of different action scenes going on, but they're incredibly creative, incredibly funny, and don't seem pointless. Each one advances the story somehow. It's also nice to see that things are kind of stepping up in size. I mean, this is a movie that's coming off of The Avengers. So they know they got to step up their game a bit, and, yeah, they kind of do. There's a lot of suits all over the place, his house is blown up, he has to travel alone, he has to start from scratch again. But it isn't just a retread of the first movie either, where he's captured by a terrorist. It's a different kind of being alone.
(Stills of Haley (Ty Simpkins), Stark's kid ally, are shown)
Doug (vo): Even the idea of a child finding a superhero and trying to help him out, that could've so easily been terrible, but they got a good child actor and they wrote him pretty decently, and they spend just the right amount of time on him. You think he's gonna follow Iron Man throughout the entire film and get captured and he needs to save him, but, no. He's in the exact amount of time he needs to be in it.
(Stills of the movie's version of "the Mandarin" are shown)
Doug (vo): But, yeah, let's get to the bad stuff. Besides from, like I said, the dumbest move ever done in a Marvel movie, there's this great excitement to see Ben Kingsley as this terrorist fellow, this Mandarin guy. Now, in the comic, he's an alien, and, yeah, I guess you can't really do that here, or could you? I don't know. (A still of Thanos is briefly shown) The Avengers, they kind of got away with it okay, but, whatever. I didn't read the comics, so I'm not gonna be a purist. However, without giving too much away, what they do to this character is gonna piss off a lot of people. This is like the dance in Spider-Man 3, or what they did to Deadpool in [X-Men Origins:] Wolverine. This is a complete slap in the face to a character. But, with that said, it is funny. It was a legitimate twist that I didn't see coming, and it did actually get a few laughs out of me. But, again, is that what people are looking for? Probably not. Even though I didn't read the comic, I, as well, wanted to see the awesome Ben Kingsley go up against the awesome Robert Downey Jr.. But instead, who do we get?
(Stills of the film's real villain, Aldrich Killian, played by Guy Pearce, are shown)
Doug (vo): Some asshole in a suit again! Oh, my God! Why do these guys keep popping up?! Nobody cares if he wrongs someone out of a business or something, it's a comic book movie! Give us comic book villains! (Images of all three Iron Man villains, Obadiah Stane, Ivan Vanko, and "The Mandarin", are shown) Every time you always have them in these Iron Man movies, they're either embarrassing, out too early, or...embarrassing again! It's kind of like watching a Batman movie where he's fighting the Joker, and then halfway through, you find out, "Oh, the Joker was just a hologram. The real mastermind is this guy who wants to get you for tax fraud or something." Who gives a shit? We want to see a comic book movie, especially after one that celebrated what a comic book movie it was with The Avengers!
Final thought Edit
Doug (vo): So, once again, we're stuck with kind of a "half and half" movie. On the one hand, the action is good and is visually interesting, and there's some fun ideas, and Tony Stark is still really funny, and they're evolving him a little bit more. But on the other hand, some of these choices are just so bizarre and so strange and just downright...dumb! I get the idea behind Tony Stark, he's sort of this tortured genius who has a lot of brilliance, but not a lot of wisdom. But, come on! Some of these moves are just downright stupid! For my money, I'm still glad I saw it. Again, is it technically a good film? Kinda hard to say. I mean, you still get the Iron Man-y stuff you want to see, just a bunch of technology and action and smartass lines. But, yeah. It is a little weird that the best of the Iron Man movies is the original, and even that had kind of a slow, silly second half. So, yeah. I am glad I saw it. I just wanted to see Iron Man do what Iron Man does, and I was fine with it. But any die-hard fans that are looking for that big Iron Man movie, like the big "mano y mano" fight and such, are probably gonna be disappointed when they see what it's building up to. If you're just a typical moviegoer looking for a typical action film, this one's a lot of fun. But if you're looking for the evolution of a character or a story, you, like this movie, would probably have to take a step back.
(A scene showing Tony Stark dragging along his trashed Iron Man armor in a blizzard is shown)