(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the 2019 NC title sequence. Its ending has slightly changed: before the final clip in the intro, small clips from The Black Cauldron, Best F(r)iends and The Country Bears are shown)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Well, it's around Easter time, and you know what that means? A lot of movies about a certain long-eared, furry, buck-toothed bunny rabbit who has a thing for eggs. I'm, of course, talking about Jesus. (A picture of Jesus Christ appears in the corner)
(The footage of the following movies is shown: King of Kings (1961), Jesus of Nazareth (1977) and Jesus (1999))
NC (vo): Yeah, this is the time when a lot of Christ films start making the rounds. The funny thing about Jesus movies...before they actually became funny things... (The Pure Flix logo is shown) ...is when it comes to Christmas, they're usually shared with other Christmas-type movies (Three posters are followed: for The Santa Clause, It's a Wonderful Life and Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (with a caption "Please Give Me A Job" next to the main character)) You know, about Santa Claus, or family togetherness, or helping the poor and hungry get work. But that's not how Easter works. Easter is prominently Jesus' cinematic time to shine, whether for better or Gibson. (Two posters are shown: The Greatest Story Ever Told and The Passion of the Christ) I don't really have a problem with this, as a lot of these movies hold up pretty well, many of them cinematic classics...
(The images related to the Easter Bunny are shown)
NC (vo): ...but it is strange that one of the most popular holiday mascots doesn't have many cinematic movies about him. (The posters for Here Comes Peter Cottontail and Rise of the Guardians are shown) There's plenty of TV specials and maybe an occasional appearance here or there, some more balls-to-the-wall insane than others...
(The poster and footage for the 2014 film The Beaster Bunny, aka Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell are shown, showing a giant rabbit, which is pretty sloppily animated, jumping and squishing a human and chopping heads off three other ones)
NC: Note to self: must add to queue.
NC (vo): But entire films based on one of our favorite breaking and entering icons are surprisingly far and few.
NC: (slams the table) Well, I'm putting up with it anymore! That's why today, we're going on our own Easter Bunny adventure!
(The door to NC's room is opened...by Carrotjuice, who's smiling as always)
Carrotjuice: Hey, Critic.
NC: (overdramatically surprised from here on out) Carrotjuice? What in the world?...
Carrotjuice: (holds up a basket of Easter-related products) As the official mascot of Easter, I decided to hand over my Easter duties to you.
NC: Wha...you mean, you've been the Easter Bunny all this time?
Carrotjuice: That's right! And I've chosen you to continue on the tradition.
NC: Me?! (gets up and goes...or rather, skips to Carrotjuice, chuckling) But that just sounds wacky! I can't possibly be the Easter Bunny...can I?!
Carrotjuice: Come on, Critic. I'll take you to my factory.
(Carrotjuice turns away and leaves. NC gasps and follows him, still skipping. He bumps into Carrotjuice, who is waiting for him at the door to the another room in the hallway)
NC: But, Carrotjuice, however will we get to the Easter factory, from this, our studio?
Carrotjuice: Through the magic of magic doors. (quickly waves hand, and sparkles follow) Magic!
(NC puts his hands on cheeks, surprised. Carrotjuice opens the door to...the colorful-looking factory. In the background, there is a banner that reads "Infinity Days Since Last Work Incident". The rainbow appears over the factory)
NC: Wow! Unbelievably imaginative and/or magical!
Carrotjuice: Now, come on, Critic. We gotta get you ready to be the ultimate Easter Bunny.
NC: Well, I'm sure I'm gonna have some slip-ups along the way, but if I only believe in myself, I know I can not only save Easter, but also have some hilarious hijinks along the way!
Carrotjuice: Now, let's hop to it, Critic!
(Both hold on to the basket and laugh. They merrily skip across the hallway)
NC and Carrotjuice: (singing) Here's the Easter Rabbit, hooray! The happy Easter Rabbit, hooray!
(Cut to...NC and Carrotjuice calmly sitting on the studio couch. The clock's ticking is heard)
NC: So, aren't you gonna, like, show me how to use magic and make candy and stuff?
Carrotjuice: No. You mostly just sit around while I tell you what not to do.
(NC gives a low sigh. He takes one candy from the basket, preparing to unwrap it)
Carrotjuice: Oh, don't do that.
(NC goes to typing on his phone)
Carrotjuice: Oh, no, don't do that either.
(NC puts the phone down in annoyance, sighing)
Carrotjuice: Did I say you could breathe?
NC: THIS EASTER ADVENTURE SUCKS!
Carrotjuice: Hmm. You might be right. Something's missing. Oh, I know! Your flannel shirt! (takes out a shirt) It wouldn't be a cool Easter movie without your flannel shirt. (throws it to NC) There. Now you're hip. And remember: keep smiling!
(NC gives a forced smile)
Carrotjuice: Not that much.
NC: Is this all we're gonna do? We're just gonna sit around a room while you tell me things not to do?
Carrotjuice: Of course not.
NC: Oh. Well, that's- There's a cut to something disappointing, is i-
(Smash cut to Carrotjuice and NC inside a car)
Carrotjuice: We're gonna sit in a car while I tell you what not to do.
NC: I see no whimsy in this. This is whimsy-less!
Carrotjuice: Well, you've got your flannel shirt. And do you know how to play the drums?
NC: Not really.
(Carrotjuice gives NC a slap on the cheek)
Carrotjuice: You're gonna play the drums! You're the Easter Bunny, for God's sake!
NC: What does any of this has to do with Easter?!
Carrotjuice: I don't know. (turns and speaks to the camera) But it made Hop a ton of money.
NC: What, is Hop in the backseat...
Carrotjuice: You know what we're doing.
NC: Yeah, I know what we're doing.
(The title for the movie Hop is shown, before showing its clips)
NC (vo): The 2011 Illumination film Hop was a big hit at the box office and continues to be one of the dominant Easter movies whenever the subject is brought up. Just Google "Easter movie", and it's literally the first film to appear. There's a few reasons for this. One: it was a big-budget Easter Bunny movie. Two: it was a well-advertised Easter Bunny movie. And three: it is the only Easter Bunny movie, at least with a big budget and was well advertised. Many families rent this bowl of rabbit droppings, confusing it for Cocoa Puffs and convinced themselves they're enjoying chocolate, when really, they're swallowing shit. It lacks any kind of imagination, wonder and creativity that will be associated with such a timeless icon. So, of course, we're gonna look at it here today.
NC: (returns to his room) So, let's see if their magical world of the Easter Bunny is anything like the real magical world of the Easter Bunny...
Carrotjuice: Remember, Critic: keep smiling!
(NC gnaws his teeth at Carrotjuice angrily)
Carrotjuice: And learn to play the drums. I gotta catch my rocket sleigh back home.
NC: Wait, didn't I see you travel via magic door?
Carrotjuice: (scoffs) Like we'd put our A-material in this script. Wa-hey! (speeds off)
NC: (sighs) This is Hop.
(The Universal logo is shown, only with the globe being egg-shaped)
NC (vo): So, long before there's an egg pun in this movie...literally the first frame!
NC: Even Egghead needs a few moments to set up! (A picture of this character from the 1966 Batman TV shown appears)
(As the opening credits roll, we're shown a montage of pictures featuring bunnies that are based on the more famous works, like "The Birth of Venus"-esque)
NC (vo): Not even a minute in, and we already have bunny boobies. I expected more from the director of (posters of...) Garfield 2, Alvin and the Chipmunks and Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas-
NC: (face covered with both hands) OH, GOD, THIS IS GONNA SUCK!
(The following paintings are showing the Easter Bunnies over the years)
NC (vo): We get a brief glance of the Easter Bunnies of the past, and I already wanna know more about them than the Thumper equivalent of Quack Pack.
(A Photoshopped image that features Huey, Dewey and Louie with Photoshopped heads of Thumper the bunny and the title "Thump Bumps". An editor program window appears with a note "Make Thumper Quack Pack" and a cursor moving towards it)
NC: Stop taking notes, Disney! (A cursor slowly slides away from an editor)
Mickey Mouse (voiced by NC): Ha-ha. I'm still gonna make it.
|The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts
||Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way
||Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas
||Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT
||NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play
||Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed
||The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree
||Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker
||The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC)
||The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
||Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Hulk (2003) · Monkeybone · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · Green Lantern · It (2017) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · War of the Commercials · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi
||Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Batman Forever · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Alice Through the Looking Glass · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Jack and Jill · Starship Troopers · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · The Angry Birds Movie · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Mission: Impossible 2 · Doom · Ghostbusters 2 · Freddy Got Fingered · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Sleepwalkers · Van Helsing · Rubber (2010) · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Nutcracker (2010)
||Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X-Men: The Last Stand · Best F(r)iends · Hop · Toonami · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Mary Poppins Returns · Alien 3 · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Kim Possible · Blade II · That Darn Cat · Underworld · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Wall · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Venom · Justice League · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
||Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Dolittle · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Avatar (2009) · Superman Returns · Elektra · Alita: Battle Angel · Battleship · The Lion King (2019) · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Bill & Ted Movies · Playing with Fire · Pokémon Detective Pikachu
||Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review
||NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month