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Revision as of 04:11, March 14, 2015

Hook

Nchook

Date Aired
June 29th, 2010
Running Time
26:39
Website
Previous review
Next review


NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Is it possible to make to make fun of the movie you like? I don't know, but I am doing it. This is Hook!

Footage of Hook

NC (Voiceover): Well, people either love or hate this movie. Personally, I love it. I love the premise, I love the two lead actors, and I love the fact that it actually tries to dive into the psychology of Peter Pan. But with that said, there are a lot of stupid things about it too. It's very cliched, very corny, filled with even more Spielberg's whimsical schmucks, than, um, Peter Pan!

NC: But my nostalgia aside, does that technically make Hook a good movie or a bad movie? Well, let's not waste any time. Let's cut right into Hook!

Film starts

NC (Voiceover): So the story begins as we start off with the backstory of Peter Pan.

In a very poorly set stage, there are Wendy and Peter Pan

Wendy (Dramatically): Boy. Why're you crying?

Peter: I was crying 'cause I couldn't get my shadow to stick.

NC: Boy, I though the production value's be a little better than this.

NC (Voiceover): Actually this is a school play, starring the daughter of our main character, Peter Banning, played by Robin Williams.

Peter Pan receives a phone call during the play

Peter (On the phone): Want a meeting, tomorrow, am?

Peter's Son, Jack: Dad, my game! You promised.

Peter (On the phone): Listen, it's my son's big game. (Whispering to Jack) I'll be there. My word is my bond.

NC(Voiceover, mimicking the whispering voice of Robing Williams): By that, I mean I'm lying to you, this will be the focal point of the movie!

NC(Voice over): And then we cut to the next day at his son's game...

An umpire dressed as Santa Claus is seen.

NC: Why Santa Christ is the umpire, I have no idea, as we see his father running late, having fun with the people at work. So he sends a co-worker to the baseball field to film the game... ouch, which causes him to lose.

NC: Peter tries to make it up to him on the plane ride to Britain, (The words PAN AM is visible on the surface of the plane) which is in an airline that hasn't existed for years, but the pun was too tempting, as Jack wants nothing to do with it.

Peter: Jack, next season I am coming to six games. I promise. My word is my bond.

Jack: Yeah, a JUNK bond.

Jack throws his baseball to the ceiling of the plane which causes oxygen masks to pop out the ceiling. Peter is surprised and screams.

NC(Waving his arms hysterically): TERRORIST! How did he get that baseball to pass the security?!

NC(Voiceover): So it turns out they are going to Britain because Peter's old caretaker Wendy, played by Maggie Smith, is having a children's hospital dedicated to her.

Peter's daughter, Maggie: Is your friend Wendy the real, real Wendy from my play?

Peter's wife, Moira: Yes.

Peter: No, honey. Not really.

Peter's wife, Moira: Sort of.

NC(Voiceover): She also has another lost orphan she looks after named Toodles. Starting to see a connection here?

Toodles is searching for something on the floor.

Toodles: Lost, lost...

Peter: Lost what?

Toodles: I've lost my marbles.

NC: Pray to god you laughed at that joke because this movie has three variations of it!

NC(Voiceover): So Peter explains what he does for a living and why its kept him away from London for 10 whole years.

Peter: I am still in emergence acquisition, and dabbling into some land development.

Jack: Any resistance! And he blows them out of the water!

Wendy: So... Peter, you've become a pirate.

Film Brain suddenly appears and raises his arms upward and shouts.

Film Brain: Symbolism!

NC: What was that? Well anyway...

NC(Voiceover): Before dedication he gets a call from work. But the kids are just too dull and noisy for him to hear.

Peter: A five billion dollar deal falling apart because of this? Why doesn't somebody just shoot me in the head?
Jack: (Making a gun gesture with his hands) Bang, bang!
Peter: Will everybody just shut up!
Jack: I'm sorry.
Peter: Moira, get 'em outta here, will you? I'm on the phone call of my life!

NC: I mean, it's not like I can go into another room or something!

NC(Voiceover): So after that blowup, they get ready to go to the dedication dinner for the new hospital.

Maggie: Toodles made it for me. It smells nice.

Peter: It's paper, honey.

NC(Voiceover): Dude, how much of killjoy is this jerk?

NC is seen receiving a phone call and a frown in his face. Off screen, the voice of a kid voiced by NC is heard.

Kid (Offscreen): Dad, is there a Santa Claus?

NC: No.

Kid (Offscreen): Is there an Easter Bunny?

NC: No, we made that up too.

Kid (Offscreen): Is there a god?

NC (nervously angrily): Well, scientifically speaking, they've never proven that God actually exists so probably not. In fact, the majority of the religions, in fact, all the religions are completely false!

The kid offscreen starts crying

NC: Oh, what?!

Peter: Hey, Jack. Jack, you're in charge now. This is my very special watch, so you can track of the time.

The scene of Captain Koons giving a boy a watch from Pulp Fiction is shown.

Captain Koons: I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years.

NC(Voiceover): So the night's big hit, the children's hospital is named after her. But something evil is lurking outside the window.

The scene of Hook 'breaking into the house with green smoke and moving things without touching them' is shown.

NC(Voiceover): Ok, here's my question. This is obviously Hook coming in to kidnap the children. But, what the hell is he doing? Where did the green smoke come from? How is he able to move things without touching it? Did he sell his soul to Satan on his way to Earth?

Children's blankets are lifted into the air by themselves while children are screaming.

NC(Voiceover): ZUUL, LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER, ZUUL!

A scene of Wendy being shocked, dropping her cup and slowly sitting down is shown.

Peter's wife: Are you alright? Wendy?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I felt the great disturbance in the Force...

NC(Voiceover): So they come home to find that the place has been broken into and the children have been kidnapped.

Peter(Reading the letter sent by hook):Dear Peter. Your presence is required at the request of your children. Kindest personal regards, James Hook, Captain.

NC: P.S. I don't care anyone says, I loved "License to Wed".

NC(Voiceover): So they call the police, as Detective Phil Collins comes here to look over the situation... I'm not even kidding! That's really Phil Collins! IMDB it; it's totally him!

Toodles: I've forgotten how to fly.

Phil Collins: Well, one does.(nervously) Alright then, good-night, sir.

Phil Colins hurriedly bows and walks away.

NC(Voiceover) (Mimicking Phil Collins): I'm off to ruin Disney's Tarzan.

NC(Voiceover): So Wendy decides to have a little talk with Peter about why all this is been happening.

Wendy: How far back you can remember, Peter?

Peter: You looked after the orphans, you taught me to read, you arranged the adoption by American Terrence Hank and Jane Bennet.

Wendy: You were twelve, nearly thirteen! Can you remember before that?

Peter: There is nothing before that.

NC: I have the same unquestioned, repressed childhood memories that everybody has. Why?

Wendy: That was when you decided not to go back to the Neverland.

Peter: Where?

Wendy: To Never Neverland.

Peter seems shocked. Suddenly a techno dance music can be heard while flickering shiny letters appear around Wendy's head saying: Nutball!, She's gone bye bye!, I'm the one who lost her marbles., Commit me!

Wendy: Peter!

Peter: What?

Wendy: The stories are true! And now he's come back to seek his revenge.

NC(Imitating Wendy): It's Dustin Hoffman's Pieta. He wants to outmug you!

NC(Voiceover): So Wendy tells Peter about his true origins, but not surprisingly he doesn't believe it. However that night he gets a little bit more proof than he needed; Tinkerbell comes in played by Julia Roberts.

Tinkerbell: And if less is more, there's no end to me, Peter Pan!

Peter: Peter Banning.

Tinkerbell: Pan.

Peter: Banning.

Tinkerbell: Pan!

Peter: Banning.

Tinkerbell: Well, whoever you are, it is still you. Because only one person has that smell.

Peter: Smell?

NC (Mimicking Tinkerbell): Yes. Your love of Mexican food was always a that giveaway.

NC(Voiceover): And I have to admit this is one of the casting choices I didn't like. I mean, she doesn't do a horrible job or anything, but she plays way to American-Sweetheartish. Tinkerbell in the original story could be nice, but she was also jealous and deceiving. This was the fairy that tried to have Wendy killed, remember? And now she is way too smiley and innocent.

NC: I mean, C'mon, Julia Roberts! You're supposed to kniving, attention-seeking person! You know, less like this (Picture of her portraying Tinkerbell is shown) and more like... Picture of proud Julia Roberts holding her Oscar trophy is shown.

NC:...This.

NC(Voiceover): So Tink tries to tell him who she is, but Peter still has a hard time grasping it.

Peter: I do not believe in fairies.

Tinkerbell: Every time someone says 'I do not believe in fairies', somewhere there's a fairy that falls down dead.

Peter: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!

Christa from NC's Ferngully review appears and falls dead with a thump.

NC(Voiceover): So Tink knocks him out and eventually flies him up to Neverland. On the way, she sprinkles some fairy dust on a kissing couple and they fly up into the air.

NC: That's a cute joke. But I have to admit, something about that couple seems familiar.

Pictures of George Lucas and Carrie Fisher overlaps with the scene of couple kissing on the bridge.

NC (Voiceover): It's George Lucas and Carrie Fisher?! I swear to god, that's not a joke! George Lucas and Carrie Fisher are the couple KISSING on that bridge!

NC (Doing a motion of throwing fairy dusts): GO! Erotic fan fiction writers! To your keyboards! A new world of sexual Star War fantasies AWAITS YOU!


NC (voiceover): So, she carries him up to the... obvious set of Neverland. And thankfully she drops him on the most safe and protected area she could find... in the middle of the fucking pirate village! That's like dropping an ant in anti-ant convention!

Peter: Gentlemen, I, I am looking for someone.

All of the pirates suddenly roars and pulls out their weapons and starts to fight. Tinkerbell appears and knocks them out.

NC (voiceover): I am sorry, but when did Tinkerbell get so freakin' strong? She knocks out pirates, tosses them around, carries Peter to Neverland!

NC: Someone's been eating her steroid Wheaties!

A fake advertisement of Steroid Wheaties with a picture of Tinkerbell smiling, saying "Now with more penis shrinkage!" is shown.

NC (Voiceover): So after raising TinkerHell, she disguises Peter as a pirate and sneaks him aboard Hook's ship. So he see the villain is Hook, played by Dustin Hoffman, and his sidekick Smee played by Bob Hoskins.

Captain Hook: Finally, I am going to kill Peter Pan, that quirky boy who cut off my hand fed it to the crocodile. Who killed that cunning crocodile?

Pirates: Hook!

Captain Hook: Who stuffed him?

Pirates: Hook!

Captain Hook: Who made him into a giant clock?

Pirates: Hook!

Captain Hook: Who went into the other world and stole Pan's children?

Pirates: Hook!

Captain Hook: And who didn't believe I could do it?

NC is about to shout "Hook!" but pauses and puts his hand on his mouth, realizing what Hook really said.

NC (Voiceover): So he brings up the children as Peter accidentally outs himself, trying to run after them.

Captain Hook: Who are you?

Peter: I'm Peter Banning, Attorney at Law, these are my children and I want them back.

Captain Hook: Those are your...

Peter: Children.

Captain Hook: These are your children.

Peter: Yes, they are.

Captain Hook: And you are?

Peter: Peter.

Captain Hook: You're Peter?

Peter: Yes?

Captain Hook: You're Peter?

Peter: Yes.

Captain Hook: No.

Peter: Yes.

The arguing of Peter Pan and Captain Hook overlaps with 'Abbott and Costello's Who's on First Base skit.

NC: SHUUUUT UUUP!

NC (voiceover): So Smee proves that he really is Peter Pan by pulling out his medical records... How the hell did he get that? As Hook can't believe what a worn out sack of memoir Peter Pan has become.

Peter: Let's finish this problem.

Captain Hook: Expediently I agree.

Peter: I want my children.

Captain Hook: And I want my war!

Pirates: Aye!

NC (Imitating Captain Hook): The Ninjas must die!

Pirates: Aye!

NC (Voiceover): So he makes a deal that if Peter flies up and touches his children's fingers he'll let them all go.

Peter: I'm coming, sweetheart! Come and give me a hand?

Captain Hook: I already have.

Pirates: Whooooo.

NC (Imitating Hook): Oh, yes. I went that.

NC (voiceover): But it turns out Peter forgot to take his Flyagra and is not able to get up. This comes as a serious disappointment to Mr. Hook.


Captain Hook: Gentlemen, I am afraid I have decided to cancel to war.

NC (Imitating Hook): I will instead run Ernest goes to Camp. (sounds of disappointment from offscreen crowd)

NC (Voiceover): But before he can kill him Tinkerbell strikes up a deal the Captain. She says that if he gives her three days, he can get him back to normal.

Captain Hook: And better to deliver, miss Bell, no mode clapping will bring you back from where I will send you.

Pirates: Whooooo.

NC (mimicking Hook): That's a butt crack with your name on it. Ho Ho!

NC (Voiceover): So Hook agrees but Pan is accidentally knocked over. Thankfully, he is saved by Skittles commercials, as he is lifted up to the hideout of the Lost Boys. But the boys don't recognize him as their new leader, named Rufio suggests that they chop him into pieces.

Rufio: Can't fly, fight, or crow. And any of you say this scum is Peter Pan, crossed a line.

NC (voiceover): You know, for a lost jungle boy, he sure does seem to put a lot of mousse in that hair, doesn't he? But luckily their oracle or something comes in and sees the Pan inside him. So the lost boys finally decides to help Peter out. But unfortunately, Hook and Smee have a diabolical plan: To make Pan's kids love Hook, as that would be the ultimate revenge.

Hook: Jack. Your father went to your sister's school play, did he not? But did he go to your baseball game?

Jack: How'd you know about that?

NC (voiceover): Uh, that's a legitimate question. Where are they getting all these information? Medical info? Background history? Is there just a private records building that's way too lenient on its policies?

A picture of a cassette tape player appears as we can see "Audio Recording from Department of Record" in the bottom.

Recorded voice of Hook: Yes, I would like the medical records, background history including the rest of Mr. Peter Banning please.

Recorded voice of the agent: Well, I don't know..That sounds suspicious...

Recorded voice of Hook: It's not.

Recorded voice of the agent: Uh, OK.

Recorded voice of Hook: Also I would like to have background check of his children, please include any incurred emotional scars that might been made in the past a few days also.

Recorded voice of the agent: Now that sounds REALLY suspicious.

Recorded voice of Hook: Now, does a man dressed as a pirate with a hook on his hand honestly strike you as suspicious?

Recorded voice of the agent: I suppose not.

Recorded voice of Hook: Good. Now could you hurry along? I have a green puff of smoke I need to catch.

Recorded voice of the agent: Ok.

Recorded voice of Hook: Most excellent.

NC (Voiceover): While Maggie seems to find, Jack seems a little bit more leaning to Hook's offer, which means Peter has to work even faster to get into shape for big fight.

Montage of Peter working hard to get into shape is shown.

NC (Voiceover): But while they take a break for dinner, Peter sees just what they eat in regular basis.

Children shove food into their plates from empty cooking pots.

NC (Voiceover): Ah, it's the cluster fucker diet.

Child: Eat up!

Peter: Eat what? There's nothing here. Gandhi ate more than this!

NC (Voiceover): It turns out that Peter has to use his imagination in order to make food appear, as he does just that. Now They have all the beautiful.. purple pastes they can eat I guess.

NC (Voiceover): But Peter's popularity disturbs Rufio as he throws the world's slowest moving coconut towards him!

Peter slices the coconut into half with a sword as all the children watch him in admiration.

NC: That coconut had just two days left until the retirement, you bastard!

NC (voiceover): So the chubby black kid that everyone for the longest time that was the kid in Good Burger, talks about old friend, Toodles.

Peter: How do you know Toodles?

Chubby Kid: He was a lost boy. These are his marbles.

Chubby kid hands Peter a bag with stone marbles in it. Peter laughs.

Peter: He really did lose his marbles, didn't he?

Chubby Kid: Yeah, he lost them good.

NC (voiceover, mimicking the voice of the chubby kid): Hey, I can't believe we're still trying to put in this joke! A ha ha ha!

Cubby Kid: Do you remember your mother, Peter?

Peter: I wish I could.

NC (voiceover, mimicking Peter): I hear Spielberg is trying to be forcefully whimsical.

We cut to the scene in Hook's ship, and we see pirates being confused while watching Maggie singing (very, very poorly).

NC (voiceover): You know, in a time like this I really wish the pirates of Neverland would collide with the Pirates of Caribbean.

As Maggie continues to sing poorly, a scene of Captain Barbossa making face and shooting toward his henchman (Presumable to Maggie, in this review, by NC's editing) is shown. The singing stops, and then we cut to the scene of pirates shouting Aye! cheerfully.

NC (voiceover): So Hook has more plans to lure Jack to his side as he brings him to a museum of broken clocks. While in here, he convinces jack to smash his father's watch.

Jack: This is for... never letting me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk!

Smashes his father's watch. Hook And Smee cheer.

Jack: This is for never letting me jump on my own bed!

He smashes another clock and Hook and Smee cheer again.

Jack: For never doing anything with me.

Jack then smashes another clock. A Drug PSA from NC's The Top 11 Drug PSAs is shown. A crazy woman smashes everything around her with a frying pan, saying: This what your FAMILY GOES THROUGH! And your friends and your MONEY!

NC (voiceover): So he put on a baseball game for Jack as Peter is told that stealing Hook's hook will make him proud and give him the energy to crow. But Peter is distracted as Jack is brough up to bat.

Smee throws the baseball and Jack triumphantly hits it.

NC (voiceover): Dude, was there fucking smoke out of that ball?

NC: Smee is a fucking Olympian!

Jack wins the game and Peter shouts in joy but his smile suddenly disappears as he hears Hook saying "Well done, my Jack!". Then the camera does a close up of Peter's face as confused Peter murmurs "My Jack?". NC sneers.
NC: Yes. I do believe that is.

The same music and camera work is used as NC looks in the camera and mimicks Robin Williams by saying: "My Jack?"

NC (voiceover): So he goes back to the hideout, which is not really much a hideout, it's a tree with lights, as he stumbles upon an old cave from the past, or the fragments of it.

Tinkerbell: Do you like my dress?

Peter: What's the occasion?

Tinkerbell: You are. It's a welcome home party.

NC: I've been waiting here nine hours in this dress just praying you'll stumble onto this. Thank you for stumbling onto this!

Peter: I remember...

NC (voiceover): And thus we begin a reconstruction of Peter Pan's memory. Which must be missing a few guess because there are about a zillion of plot holes in this next few minutes. In fact, Let's count them down.

Peter: What happened here?

Tinkerbell: Hook.

Peter: Hook?

Tinkerbell: Burnt it when you didn't come back.

NC (voiceover): Well, then why did you build a new hideout on the top of the old hideout?

Plot hole counter appears and shows "1"

NC (voiceover): In fact, why the hell the Hook did not just burn the new hideout?

Plot hole counter appears and shows "2"

Peter: I remember my mother. I remember her.

Peter's mother (flashback of Peter): After graduation, he will prepare for being a judge in the highest court.

Peter: I was afraid because I didn't want to grow up. Because every boy who grows up has to die someday. So I ran away

NC (voiceover): Uh, you strolled away, as you can't really run yet. I guess he used his sidekick powers!

Plot hole counter appears and shows "3"

NC (voiceover): And plus, you are a frickin' baby! You have no concept of age or death, or even the color of orange! How can you comprehend all these?

Plot hole counter appears and shows "4". Tinkerbell in Peter's flashback finds the baby Peter.

Peter: You brought me to Neverland. You taught me to fly.

A boy Peter is seen who is peeking inside the window for his mother.

NC (voiceover): OK. So if you went to Neverland to never grow up, then WHY is he constantly growing up? He was a baby, he was then a boy, now he is a freaking teenager? I will sue Neverland for fucking false advertisement!

Plot hole counter appears and shows "5"

NC: There. There are five major plot holes in the past five minutes. FIVE major plot holes! What the hell happened? You were doing pretty good until then! What, the writers are lost when coming into explaining everything?

Peter: I expected my shadow and I would to join together like drops of water.

Young Peter tries to stick his shadow to him but fails and starts to cry.

Young Wendy (In Peter's flashback): Boy, why are you crying? NC: 'cause you're Gwyneth Paltrow. You're gonna grow up to win an Oscar. I am gonna grow up to get supporting sole on Si-isters!

Peter: I came back many times for Wendy, always in the spring.

Young Wendy (In Peter's flashback): Peter!

Peter: When I came back, the last time...

Old Wendy (In Peter's flashback): Peter, I cannot come with you. I've forgotten how to fly. I am old, Peter.

NC (voiceover): Whoa! Creekeeper!

Young Peter (In Peter's flashback): No, no, no!

Old Wendy (In Peter's flashback): That's my grandchild, Moira, sleeping in the bed.

NC (voiceover): Peter's tights suddenly become a lot tighter, as he decides he wants to stay with Moira, because... she looks hot. I don't know..I heard of dumber reasons. And then he remembers his happy thoughts.

Peter: Now I know why I haven't come back, why I grow up. I wanted to be a father.

NC: That's right. To have children of his own to neglect and forget about. This of course gets him flying, and.. sewing some new tights together, as he rediscovers his childhood and shows off to the lost boys. This doesn't please Rufio though, as he get out his golden sword. Finally, this is the giant epic battle we've all been waiting for...okey?

Rufio falls to his knees in front of Peter.

Rufio: You are the Pan.

NC (voiceover): So it turns out Peter might have gotten too much of his memory back.

Peter: Are you sick? You need a bandage? Or thermometer! Thermometer make it all better!

Tinkerbell: Oh no, Peter! it's not about that.

Peter puts his finger onto his mouth while saying the sentence below and thus makes a disgusting sounds.

Peter: If you put the thermometer, you get better!

NC: Uh, can we get the jerky, not delightful Peter back?

Tinkerbell: You remember the great next adventures for saving your kids?

Peter: Peter Pan got kids?

Tinkerbell: Why are you in Neverland?

Peter: That's easy! Because...

Robin Williams makes annoying long ad-libs.

NC: OK. Can you form a sentence out of these words? UP THE FUCK SHUT!

NC (voiceover): But Tinkerbell, out of nowhere, suddenly changes size, and... dresses.. because here she explains.

Tinkerbell: This is the only time I wished for myself.

NC (voiceover): That's it. Good explanation, huh?

Tinkerbell kisses Peter Pan.

NC (voiceover, mimicking Robin Williams): I think I'm getting into my puberty again, hu huh!

Peter: Moira! Moira.. Jack, Maggie... I have a plan. Tink! C'mon, you got to come!

NC: She was about to until you, uh.. oh, oh that!

Tinkerbell:You silly ass, go! Tinkerbell goes back to her normal size.

NC (voiceover): So, that was awkward, as we get ready for our final battle. In which Peter carves a hole in their sail that, honestly I don't think Edward Scissorhands could have cut as well as that.

Hook: It's Peter Pan!

NC (Mimicking Hook): I recognize him from his peanut butter.

Hook: Time does fly!

NC (voiceover): So Jack actually doesn't recognize him, I guess as he doesn't have his Clark Kent glasses, as they have themselves a merry little battle.

Pirates are surrounding Peter and approaches him one by one, not altogether, which enables Peter to fight easily. A green arrow appears on the pirates who are just standing.

NC (voiceover): Uh, feel free to join in, guys! A super-hyper-adult-child with a sword is not easy to battle one at a one.

Hook (To Jack): It's a pirates' life, my lad!

Peter: Jack, Jack!

NC: No, no. I think you mean...

The same music and camera work used in the <My Jack> scene is done again as NC looks in the camera and mimics Robin Williams by saying: "My Jack?"


NC (voiceover): But luckily the Goonies of the Carribean show up and give Peter his much needed help. That's right. They fight up the EVIL pirates and their sharp swords with.. eggs, paints and whatever other Easter decorations they can find.

Peter: Maggie!

Maggie: Dad! A Pirate: Wait, who're you?

Peter: I'm Peter Pan!

The pirate screams as he jumps out of the window.

NC: Yeah. If Robin Williams come up to me and say he is the Peter Pan, I'll jump too.

NC (voiceover): So he rescues Maggie as we see Hook and Rufio are duking it out!

Hook pierces Rufio's chest. Rufio falls down. Peter screams "No!" as we see Peter's clothes are suddenly blown by wind beneath him.

NC (voiceover): Jeez. Sort of literally overblown fan there, don't you think?

The same scene is played again, but thie time, with the sound of a giant fan blowing.

Rufio (To Peter): Do you know what I wish?
Peter: What?
Rufio: I wish I had a dad... like you.

NC (mimicking Rufio): Not getting stabbed would have been nice!


NC (voiceover): And just when Peter finally has chance to kill the bastard, he stupidly doesn't.

Hook: I swear to you wherever you go, wherever you are, I vow there will always be daggers buried in notes signed James Hook. They will be flung into doors of your children's children's children!

NC (Mimicking Hook): You've seen Hollywood's making sequels out of worst scenarios! This must end today!

NC (voiceover): So Peter pulls out his magic sword.

Peter's sword makes sparkles and noises everytime when it collides with Hook's.

NC (voiceover): Made from the firework factory, as they prepare to duke it out.

Hook: Prepare to die, Peter.

Peter: To die would be a grand adventure!

Hook: Death is the only adventure you have left!

NC (Mimicking Hook): I've seen your future movies. There was a little prospect.

NC (voiceover): So they have their swordfight back and forth, back and forth, until Peter is cornered and unable to get up.

Child #1: I believe in you.

Child #2: I believe in you.

Child #3: I believe in you.

Maggie: I believe in you.

Tinkerbell: I believe in you.

A picture of Jesus appears.

Jesus: I believe in you, Peter. And I am Jesus.

NC (voiceover): So Peter finally beats him. Now does he kill Hook? No, he just gives him back his sword. I am sure Hook will be very gracious, oh yeah, he is the fucking villain.

Jack: Bad Hook!

Peter: Now we end this.

NC (voiceover): So Peter and Hook fight some more and Peter dewigs the guy, and he finally beats him down. So NOW does he kill Hook?

Maggie (whining): Daddy, let's go home. Please?

NC makes face and sighs angrily due to frustration.

Hook: After all, what will world be like without, Captain Hook? NC: Probably like a world without bean chips. Someway noticed and not a huge loss. NC (voiceover): So after not killing him for the THIRD TIME, out family finally decides to go home, happily ever aft-

Hook picks up a knife and corners Peter.

NC: (voiceover) Psyche, Heil Hitler!

Hook: Fool James Hook is the Neverland!

NC (voiceover): Boy, you think for a pirate, he'll be a little honest!

Tink suddenly appears and prevents Peter from being stabbed by Hook's hook.

NC (voiceover): OK. what the hell is Tink made of? Is she made out of steel? Is she the blipping Tinkenator? This whole movie could be end in over five minutes. Tinkerbell breaks into the ship, fights off all the pirates and flies the kids back home! This fucking movie can be called Tinkerbell. She is the real hero!

A giant clock with a stuffed crocodile on the top leans toward Hook and the opend mouth of the stuffed crocodile swallows Hook

NC (Wiping out fake tears): My mother went the same way...

NC (voiceover): So Hook is defeated, Peter flies his kids back home, and leaves the not Good Burger Kid in charge.

Kid #1: That was a great fun.

NC (Mimicking the Kid #1): You are a bad actor.

Jack and Maggie flies into the house and find their mother who is asleep.

Jack: I know her.

Maggie: She looks like an angel.

NC (voiceover): Lookhhh. I don't know, but that line seems to stink of Lucas.

A scene from Star Wars Episode I is shown.

Anakin (To Padme): Are you an angel?

NC (voiceover): So their mother is reunited with their children, as, I guess Peter got drunk on his way back to the house.

A Janitor who looks alike to Smee: Hi, lad!

NC: I'm here to blow the lines of reality!

NC (voiceover): So Peter says goodbye to Tinkerbell and... Janitor Smee? Yeah. How does that makes sense? As Peter becomes the insufferable child that family always wanted him to be.

Peter hands the bag full of marbles that he was given by the Chubby Kid to Toodles.

Toodles: Look! I didn't lose my marbles! Look, Wendy. Look! My marbles!

NC (Mimicking Toodles): We got to use this joke one more time! We got to used this joke one more time! Toodles who found his marbles back flies up into the air. We cut to the scene of Mr. Dawes floating up into the air, laughing from the movie Marry Poppins. Toodles flies out of the window and flies to Neverland. NC puts a joke of an airplane crashing into Toodles.


NC: And that's Hook. You can probably see why people either love or hate it but despite it's nostalgic value does it still hold up?

NC (voiceover): Well the third act is I guess a little bit too cheesy. The cliches are overwhelming, plot holes are just unbelievable, and a lot of child actors don't do a very good job. But still I think the first two thirds of the movie are pretty solid. I like how seriously it takes itself but never too much that they can get it as a really good character based jokes. The atmosphere is heavy and the effects are actually pretty damn good for that time. But when it wants to be funny, it can be really funny. I can even show you half of the really hilarious scenes that are in this movie. So for me, it still holds up despite the corniness and over the top whimsical moments. I will say it could have been the great family film, as a little more edgy, but as it, it's not bad. If you haven't seen it, check it out and decide for yourself.

NC: I'm the nostalgia critic, and I don't believe in fairies.

A fairy from Sleeping Beauty screams and falls dead. NC seems a little bit surprised but he shrugs and walks out of the screen.


Note: CHANNEL AWESOME TAG

Robin Williams My Jack?


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