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Home Sweet Home Alone
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Release Date
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December 28, 2022
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Running Time
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21:38
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Previous Review
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Video
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the 2022 NC opening.)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Well, December 25th has come and gone. Christmas is an afterthought. Let's return to a franchise that sees itself as exactly the same thing.
(The title of Home Sweet Home Alone is shown, followed by clips from the movie.)
NC: (vo) Home Sweet Home Alone is the SIXTH Home Alone movie. It was released in 2021 on Disney+ and is said by many to be the worst of the bunch.
NC: I can't say that in a world where there's a sequel where a mouse (A clip of Home Alone 3 is shown in the corner.) looks through a telescope, sees a cat on TV, and squeaks, (as a mouse) "EEEK!" and runs back. Yeah, I can't do that.
NC: (vo) I've seen them all; this is not the worst one.
NC: I will say, though, it is maybe the worst creative choice out of all of them.
NC (vo): We'll get to that when we get to that, but in comparison to many of the other sequels, this was getting more laughs than I expected.
(A montage is shown of other productions that the writers and director of this worked on, including Saturday Night Live, Robot Chicken, Da Ali G Show, College Humor, and Borat.)
NC (vo): It actually has writers and a director from very successful comedic properties. So, I was impressed there were some decent jokes in this. But the key word is "some". This is still a pretty bad flick. So, what makes it so bad– Oh, you know what makes it so bad! It's the sixth Home Alone movie! Jesus! But okay, what makes it uniquely bad compared to the other sequels? Well, let's take a closer look.
NC: Let's...just end it. This is Home Sweet Home Alone.
NC (vo): It starts with a couple trying to sell their house named Pam and Jeff McKenzie, played by Ellie Kemper and Rob Delaney.
NC: And if you're thinking, "Isn't that a lot of funny people on screen for a Home Alone sequel?", you're right!
NC (vo): This movie has a surprisingly funny cast. On top of Kemper and Delaney, you got Keenan Thompson, Pete Holmes, Chris Parnell, Aisling Bea, Andy Daly, even Esther Povitsky has a walk-in part as one of the people looking at the house. I think she has an attraction to projects (A promo image for Alone Together is inserted.) with "Alone" in the title that nobody seems to watch. (The words "CRAZY UNDERRATED BTW" pop up.) And yes, all of them are trying to make this DOA movie work, and like I said before, they can get some laughs.
Jeff: If those are load-bearing walls, the whole place could collapse.
Pam: It's not a Jenga tower, Jeff. (laughs)
Gavin Washington (Thompson): (also laughing) It's not a Jenga tower, Jeff.
NC: I'll also give some credit to Archie Yates...
(Cut to the main character, Max Mercer, played by Yates.)
NC (vo): ...who's playing our lead, Max. (The poster for Jojo Rabbit, also starring Yates, is inserted.) He's got some comedic background also and works well reacting off of others.
Carol Mercer (Bea): (to her son, Max) Maxwell Johann Mercer!
Max: (to his mother) Carol Ellen Mercer!
Carol: No McDonald's for you on the way home.
Max: You can't promise a kid McDonald's and not deliver!
NC: Maybe this won't be so bad. Maybe this will be the Home Alone sequel that has (An image of Mr. Hector (Tim Curry) from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is shown in the corner.) more than one Tim Curry.
NC (vo): Max uses the bathroom at the open house, and when he doesn't get along with Jeff, he apparently steals one of his antique dolls...
(Said doll has an upside-down head for some reason. An image of Jake Tucker from Family Guy is shown next to it.)
NC (vo): ...the Jake Tucker model with nightmare filling. And we find the McKenzies want to keep the fact that they're selling the house secret from their kids.
(Suddenly, the kids, Abby and Chris, return home, to the parents' surprise.)
Pam: Hey, I thought you were gonna call after the movie was over.
Abby (Katie Beth Hall): Oh, no, we just took an Uber.
NC: (as Abby) It was Home Alone 3, so we left early.
NC (vo): So, while the writing isn't always bad and the actors' deliveries are good, for some reason, this movie thinks it's shown in front of a live audience and leaves way too much dead air.
NC: If you watched this scene with a laugh track, it works okay, I guess.
Pam: I'm doing some thinking, you know? This is a very good spot...for thinking. (A laugh track is heard as she strokes her chin.)
NC: But when you take away that laugh track, the void of emptiness just eats you inside out!
(The scene replays.)
Pam: This is a very good spot...for thinking.
(She strokes her chin, but this time, there is no laugh track. Instead, an ominous sting is heard as the camera zooms in on her, slowly rising in volume and pitch, until suddenly, a gunshot creates a bloody hole in the screen! The scene is removed, revealing NC holding a shotgun.)
NC: Sorry, I had to put that scene out of its misery.
NC (vo): As you'd probably guess, tons of family members are cramped into one house, and Max is often tossed aside because of it.
Max: (frustrated) I'm sick of this bulls–
(He soon stops when he notices that an Elf on the Shelf is watching him. Max quietly and calmly approaches the elf.)
Max: (calmly) We don't have to tell Santa about that, right, Goobey?
NC (vo): Let's do a count of things that are probably gonna be traps in the third act.
(The message "Things That Will Probably be Traps Later" is shown, along with the number 1. The first such trap is a virtual reality device. One kid is firing a Nerf gun at him. Then we are shown an image of a man waving dismissively before walking off.)
NC (vo): I'm already sick of counting them.
NC: Even when this movie does their tropes fine, I'm so sick of seeing them!
NC (vo): He goes into the car to watch some... (Inside the family car, a BMW, a clip of a Road Runner cartoon is shown on a small screen used for entertainment.) Wow, not-Disney material!
NC: Maybe this was part of the Warners Snow White trade with Gremlins.
(As he speaks above, an image of the titular characters from Gremlins watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in a theater is shown in the upper-left corner, followed by an image of Snow White itself from that same movie (Doc singing "Heigh-Ho") in the upper-right corner. Meanwhile, in Home Sweet Home Alone, the camera zooms in on the pizza box, which clearly reads "Little Nero's Pizza".)
NC (vo): And hey, I recognize that pizza! I always give them a good tip (An image is inserted of the Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the Home Alone video games, accompanied by Macaulay Culkin himself as a pizza delivery boy.) whenever the delivery boy made life hell for the Nerd.
Pam: (to Jeff) I always thought we'd get old and weird in this house.
NC (vo): The McKenzies talk about how unfortunate it is that they have to sell their house because of their financial troubles. Things don't get better when Jeff's brother drops by unannounced and brings more really drawn-out jokes with him.
(Jeff's brother Hunter (Tim Simons) arrives and brings his wife Mei (Ally Maki) with him.)
Hunter: (about Mei) There she is.
(Mei is in high heels and walks very slowly up the path to the front door, which takes twenty seconds (per some text NC provides).)
Hunter: Careful.
(Mei smiles as she walks. As we cut back to NC, he pretends to hand out a small piece of paper. An image of a coupon is shown, redeemable for "Your Time Back".)
NC: Here's a coupon for your time back. Use it well.
NC (vo): While searching the Internet, Jeff finds his terrifying McGuffin is worth a fortune, but of course, he can't find it. He puts together Max stole it, who is – you guessed it – still sleeping in the garage, while the family goes on vacation without him. Hey, what's the difference between a scene of adults intentionally sounding lame and a scene of adults unintentionally sounding lame?
Pam: (to Jeff) Best in the state. They are totally...lit.
(Now cut to Max's family getting ready to leave for their vacation.)
Uber driver: (to a girl) Hey, Bethany, is this a good time for a selfie in front of an Uber? Hashtag ill-judged.
NC: Absolutely nothing! They're both unfunny.
NC (vo): Jeff tells Pam about the doll being worth a fortune while performing bells at an old folks' home. Okay, that's an original spot for exposition.
(As the chorus rings bells to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", Jeff explains to Pam his plan to steal back the doll by any means necessary.)
Pam: (softly) That's still against the law, Jeff. (with the rest of the chorus) Like a light bulb!
Man in audience: Oh, my gosh, this is terrible.
NC: Also, like the best Home Alone moments, the funniest scenes are when they're just plain mean.
Pam: (softly) I don't want my husband spending Christmas in jail.
Jeff: (with the rest of the chorus) Yippee!
Chorus: Hey!
Maestro: (annoyed) Wow!
Old man: Sounds like garbage!
Black man: Herman, no. None of that.
Herman: Well, it does.
(The song finishes up as Pam rings the bell, which makes a sour note. She glances toward another woman.)
Pam: It's okay, Martha.
Maestro: Don't blame her. That's you.
Pam: Sorry.
Maestro: Shame on you.
NC: (shaking head) Ah, just being mean to be mean is great. (A later scene of Max trying to attack Pam with bottles of soda is shown in the corner.) For the most part. Again, we'll get to that.
NC (vo): Max discovers he's been left home alone, and he of course acts all crazy like in the other movies.
(Max takes a huge ball and jumps off an upper-floor balcony with it onto a trampoline to bounce off it. Back inside, he next turns an ironing board upside-down and uses it like a surfboard to "surf" down the stairs. Then he sets up an impossibly long Hot Wheels track, with twists and turns, down the stairs and runs a Hot Wheels car down the track.)
NC (vo): Yeah, okay, let's be real: if a kid had no parents around, the first thing he would do is look up porn.
(And that's exactly what Max tries to do on the family computer.)
Max: All right, Internet, show me your worst...
(But when he clicks on the Internet and goes into YouTube, he is dismayed to find that it has been blocked, much to his disappointment. He rolls his eyes.)
Max: Well played, Mum and Dad.
NC: Okay, I'm adding a star to this movie, because you're the first Home Alone to actually address that. (A shot of the original Home Alone is shown in the corner, showing Kevin reading Playboy.) Okay, two-thirds a star.
NC: (vo) He dresses in his parents' clothes... Really don't remember his mom being the same height as him. ...and he reenacts Scarface. Okay, he asks an elf on a shelf not to tell Santa he swore, but he knows Scarface?
NC: Also, is his mom an...
(Max sits at an office desk, which is piled high with M&Ms. Several other sweets (a carton of Whoppers, several candy canes, a bowl of ice cream, etc.) all sit around.)
NC: (vo) ...heiress to the M&M empire? Where'd he get all that candy?!
(Meanwhile, the McKenzies are in their holiday house as Hunter and another member of the McKenzies are watching a science fiction remake of Angels with Filthy Souls.)
NC: (vo) Don't worry, though, you can like this reboot because they acknowledge reboots are dumb!
Johnny (sci-fi): [I'm gonna give you to the count of ten] to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister...
Hunter: (groans at the TV) This is garbage! I don't know why they're always trying to remake the classics.
NC: You know, when (An image of the following is shown in the corner...) Orson Welles says "Here under protest is beef burgers," it doesn't really put me in the mood to enjoy beef burgers. (An image of Smith from The Matrix Resurrections is shown on the right with yellow subtitles saying "Warner will kill our contract if we don't cooperate".) Matrix 4.
NC: (vo) Not that I expect a Home Alone sequel to be subtle.
(One kid at the dinner table with Pam accidentally knocks over the gingerbread house, but Hunter saves it in the nick of time.)
Hunter: Whoa... Nearly lost your house there, Pamel-ama-ding-dong!
NC: (vo; as Hunter): If only the gingerbread family had steady candy income, or a gumdrop doll stolen by a gingerbread boy! (as Pam) We get it, bro!
(Pam then has a memory with her kids and Jeff near their Christmas tree smiling, with a choir singing "Somewhere in My Memory".)
Choir: ♫ Somewhere in my memory... ♫
NC: Oh, don't pretend you're Home Alone. I mean, I know you're (A promo image for this movie is inserted briefly.) technically Home Alone, but don't pretend you're Home Alone.
NC (vo): It does lead to a funny moment where Pam imagines everybody telling her to save the house, including the stolen doll.
(Pam hears several voices in her head, all of whose faces are displayed.)
Jeff: We have the key.
Gavin: Pam, you have to call me.
Doll with upside-down face: Come and get me! Now, fräulein, now!
NC: You know, the idea of making a sixth Home Alone does seem like a nightmare, so...
NC (vo): ...why not shoot this like a fever dream? They go out into the storm to see if they can break into the house and get the doll back. Now, if you're like me, you're thinking, "Okay, they'll try this once and obviously fail, leading to comedic hijinks." And even though this isn't particularly funny, the two of them I do buy as an awkward couple having never committed a crime. It is kind of adorable.
(Jeff and Pam are seated in their car, parked outside the Mercer household to reclaim the doll.)
Jeff: I watched an episode of Locked Up earlier today on demand–
Pam: (slowly but sternly) Let's...go...GET IT. (She tries to get out, but the car is locked.) Can you unlock the door?
Jeff: Yeah.
NC: I even, believe it or not, buy...
NC (vo): ...Buzz returning as a police officer. I'll be honest...
(Cut to a clip of Home Alone 2, showing Buzz making the big Christmas speech to the rest of the McCallisters.)
NC (vo): ...after 2, I want to see him evolve into an insane rich businessman...
(Cut back to Buzz McCallister (Devin Ratray, the same actor as in the earlier movies) now as a policeman. When Max had heard the McKenzies talk about getting an "ugly little boy", he assumed they were going to kidnap him and called the police, hence Officer Buzz's arrival. However, Pam diverts him.)
NC (vo): ...but a cop abusing his power? In Chicago? Ah, it ain't far-fetched.
Pam: (to Buzz) I'm so sorry we wasted your time.
NC (vo): It's also clever that the couple acts like it's their home, and when they're not arrested, the kid thinks he can't trust the police because they'll find out he's home alone and put his mom away.
(Max imagines his mother being in jail.)
Carol: (whispering in alarm) Why did you have to tell anyone, Max?!
(Meanwhile, Carol learns that her son is home alone and, like in the first movie, makes an effort to cut her trip short and return home.)
NC (vo): Also, when Buzz is told there's a child left behind in the house, he thinks it's a prank because his brother Kevin, who now (The camera zooms in on a sign in front of the Mercer household, clearly reading "McCallister Home Security".) owns a security company, keeps pranking him.
Buzz: (talking on his walkie-talkie) That is a prank call. My little brother, Kevin, he called in the 289 to mess with me. The idiot does it every year.
NC: Okay, aside from that being CRAZY ILLEGAL to do... In fact...
(An image of a businessman with Macaulay Culkin's head is shown.)
NC (vo): ...maybe he's the one that grew up into the rich, crazy businessman. ...I still find a lot of this reasoning pretty funny. So far, I'm still on board...enough. It's stupid, but it's getting more chuckles than some of the other sequels, and I'm weirdly buying the excuses for how they're repeating the same scenario. Repeating some of these lines, though?
Buzz: Trout sniffer.
NC: Ah, just like the real language a cop would use. (nods)
Buzz: (talking on his walkie-talkie) Is that a coincidence? I don't think so.
NC: Fear not, we need only ninety more callbacks to (The posters for A Christmas Story Christmas and A Christmas Story 2 are shown.) officially be a Christmas Story sequel! Yet somehow, it'd still have less (The poster for Home Alone 2 is shown in the corner.) than Home Alone 2.
(On that note, we go to a commercial break. Upon return from the break, the movie resumes.)
NC (vo): The McKenzies go to church on Christmas Eve... (scoffs) Now I know they aren't the real crooks.
(Cut to a clip of the first movie, showing the Wet Bandits looking for Kevin, who is hiding from them in a nativity scene outside the church.)
NC (vo): Real crooks don't walk into church; they burst into salt that turns them into mummies.
(Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone.)
NC (vo): ...when a realtor tells them they got a bite on the house.
(Gavin the realtor approaches the McKenzies from behind their church pew.)
Gavin: I got some news. Houston...we have an offer.
NC: You know, if you're gonna make a joke about dated '90s references...
(An earlier scene is shown.)
Hunter: It's not 1993. What's your next idea? Should I beep him after I listen to the new MC Hammer joint?
(Cut back to the church scene.)
NC (vo): ...maybe don't make dated '90s references later.
Gavin: Houston...we have an offer.
NC: Oh, wait, what am I talking about? This is...
(A clip of Home Alone 3 is shown.)
NC (vo): ...clearly a callback to Home Alone 3!
Parrot (voice of Darren T. Knaus): (on a remote-controlled toy car) Houston, we have a problem.
(Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone.)
NC (vo): This means they have even less time to get the doll. I mean...what, do they think a buyer's instantly gonna snatch it up as soon as they post it online? I don't think someone bought this one yet he was looking up. And they try sneaking in again to get it.
(Pam and Jeff sneak up to the wall surrounding the Mercer home, which is impossibly high.)
Jeff: Why is the wall so high? It's not like it's Buckingham Palace.
NC (vo): It's at this point your stomach might be sinking as you're thinking to yourself, "No, no, no, they're not gonna be the robbers throughout the whole thing, are they?" No, no, no, that clearly can't work; it's way too dumb. They're gonna stumble across (An image of Marlon and Harlan James, Keanu Reeves and William Hurt's characters in I Love You to Death is inserted.) Keanu Reeves and William Hurt, and all will be right.
NC: They have to, 'cause, by God, these two as criminals...
(As Jeff tries to climb the wall, with Pam pushing him up, he accidentally lets out a loud long flatulence in Pam's face. She groans in disgust. It is also is really disgusting and very disturbing to all people.)
Jeff: Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.
(Cut to a clip of Get Out showing Georgina (Betty Gabriel) laughing so hard that she sheds a tear, presumably at the McKenzies making fools of themselves.)
Georgina: No. No. No, nonononononononono.
(Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone, as Jeff loses his grip on the wall and Pam struggles to hold him up.)
NC: (vo) Yeah, there's really not much to say, except...it's not funny. They play "Fall on your knees" like that's somehow gonna elevate the humor, but it makes as much sense as playing...
(Cut to the toilet scene from Dumb and Dumber, in which Harry (Jeff Daniels) poops on the toilet.)
NC (vo): ...heavenly music during the Dumb and Dumber toilet scene.
(The scene plays out in full, with heavenly music playing in the background.)
NC: Because that scene is perfect the way it is, and (The scene of Jeff accidentally farting is shown again.) nothing can save this one.
(Pam and Jeff then break into the house, but it turns out, it's run by another family.)
NC (vo): There's a cute fake out where they break into the wrong house, but that just makes this all feel like an even bigger waste of time, because they decide later they're just gonna come back the same night. Max overhears this and of course sets up all the traps.
(Max then sets up the traps in the house with the "Setting the Trap" music playing when Max gets the Tower Bridge Lego set and prepares to smash it by dropping it on the floor.)
NC: (shaking head in exasperation) Do you have to play this music?
NC: (vo) We know you're not gonna recapture the magic of the first one. Hell, even when they tried it with...
(Cut to Kevin in Home Alone 2 setting up the traps there.)
NC (vo): ...the second one, they still didn't recapture the magic!
(Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone.)
NC (vo): You think six is the lucky one that's finally gonna pull that off?!
(Pam and Jeff lie in bed, getting ready to go to the Mercers' estate. Jeff is dressed like Santa Claus.)
NC (vo): Jeff dresses up like Santa Claus...
(Cut to the first Home Alone, showing Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) at the back of the McCallister house, calling out to Kevin.)
NC (vo): ...because I guess they're stealing part one of Marv and Harry's Plan.
Marv: (to Kevin, amused) It's Santy Claus. And his elf!
(Harry happily giggles. Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone.)
NC (vo): Again, it's not like they haven't stolen enough from the first film. But the car crashes because Max sprayed water not [only] on the driveway, BUT THE ENTIRE STREET.
(Pam and Jeff's car drives on the slippery road and they crash into a random streetlight.)
NC: Yeah, just ignore (An image of the following is shown in the corner...) that pile of cars stacked up next to them, and this seems hilarious.
(Cut to clips of Pam and Jeff suffering injuries from the traps that Max set up. First, they are shown slipping and falling on and then sliding down the slippery driveway. Then a later scene is shown of Max bombarding Pam with bottles of cola.)
NC: (vo) Actually, no it's not. Because as many critics before me have pointed out having these two antagonists for the third act makes no sense.
(Scenes from Home Alone 2 are shown with the Wet/Sticky Bandits.)
NC: (vo) We like seeing Harry and Marv get their comeuppance because they're bad people doing bad things. In fact, Kevin hurt them so much we almost feel sorry for them, but again, "almost"; they're still bad people.
(Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone, as Pam suffers the traps she got with her crying in the snow. Yeah, really sad indeed.)
NC: (vo) This is just a sweet couple trying to save their house. I don't wanna laugh at them, I want them to save their freakin' house!
(Jeff finally enters the house, only for Max to aim a pool ball launcher he made at the former.)
Max: Orange-striped, center pocket.
Jeff: No...!
(Max then shoots the orange-striped ball number 13 at Jeff and hits him so hard in the forehead.)
NC: Screw you, you little brat, you little doll-stealing brat, I'm not on your side at all!
NC: (vo) And that's the other thing: when this kid has someone to work off of as a relatable antagonist, even if it's just his mom, he works. He knows how to give a verbal insult a good verbal comeback. When he's just saying one-liners while this bad slapstick is happening, he doesn't pull it off.
Max: Bombs away!
(He then throws a cola bottle at Pam, who rolls around in the snow to avoid being attacked by other cola bottles.)
Max: You know, I guess my mum was right: soda is bad for you.
(He sees Jeff.)
Max: We'll see about that. See ya!
NC: I can't blame him, this is just an awful scenario.
NC: (vo) The traps are laid out for comedy, and that's exactly what I think they're torturing with it, comedy.
(Jeff and Pam are feeling very sad that they're getting tortured, with Jeff having a huge lump on his forehead from where the pool ball hit him, and Pam having crazy hair from the fire, snow, and cola incident.)
Jeff: (whimpers) He's hurting me, Pam...
Pam: Me, too...
Jeff: Why is he doing this to us, Pam?
NC: That'd be hilarious if Marv said that to Harry. But here, it's just pathetically sad.
(Next, Jeff types in a code to shut down the burglar alarm, only to prick his finger on a thumbtack glued to one of the alarm's buttons, which causes Jeff to scream in pain. Meanwhile, Pam is outside with her hair messed up.)
Pam: (screaming) JEFF!!
NC: (laughs) I haven't laughed this hard since Angela's Ashes! Why is this suppose to be entertaining?!
(Next scene shows Pam and Jeff going up the stairs but they are hit with sugar bags tied to a rope in the face)
NC (vo): Maybe from like a dark, twisted standpoint, somebody thought this could work. Like, I remember hearing about...
(Cut to an image of a much older Macaulay Culkin in the Home Alone-themed Google commercial.)
NC (vo): ...a sequel Chris Columbus wanted to do with Kevin as an adult...
(Now cut to an image of Joe Pesci reacting to the Google commercial, with a Photoshopped insert of Daniel Stern added in.)
NC (vo): ...tries breaking in to Marv and Harry's house after they've reformed and he's gone mad.
NC: Hell, a lot of parodies of the first film have been made in a...
(The poster for Better Watch Out is shown.)
NC (vo): ...dark and twisted way. That make a lot more sense and get a lot more wonderfully mean-spirited laughs.
(Now cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone, as Pam opens an attic door, and two NERF guns appear, triggered by a pull system and fire multiple bullets to stick on Pam's face and body.)
NC (vo): That, is not what is happening with this film, though.
Pam: (angered) Harry Potter turned me into a pin cushion!
NC: Even the traps are kind of lame.
(The next trap is pretty bad: Jeff has the VR headset on him. He thinks that he's on a cliff, but he's really not. The screen for the VR is bad as well.)
Jeff: Am I dead? Is this dead? OH! That's too high enough, too high! Oh!
NC: Yeah, (as Jeff) "Oh, no I'm on a cliff! A very pixely screen-ish-looking cliff with this weight over my eyes! (normal) This is awful!
NC (vo): So, yeah, when people talk about this being the worst one, these are probably the moments they're referring to. It's actually kind of unbelievable to think a franchise that has done this formula five other times could mess up the basic qualifications so spectacularly.
(The last trap shows Jeff jumping from the porch to a trampoline, but Max then pulls the string attaching a bolt on one of the legs that makes the trampoline collapse. This results in Jeff bouncing from the trampoline into a tree that he hits and falls in the snow with a metal sound effect.)
NC: (laughing sarcastically) The family's losing their home. Idiots!
(Jeff then pulls out a tooth recently after hitting the tree after the trampoline bounce.)
NC (vo): That'll teach you to...I don't know, have your kids grow up in a warm, nostalgic house? Why do you want me to laugh at this?!
(A desperate Jeff runs back into the house. Max confronts him with his gun full of pool balls.)
Jeff: We just want our doll back!
Max: (aiming his gun around the room) What doll?!
NC (vo): Finally, somebody gets a clue and says something, as it turns out he doesn't have the doll; it just looked like he stole it. Oh, and it also turns out they didn't know he was there alone.
Pam: If we had known you were staying here by yourself, we would have handled things a lot...differently.
NC: (as Pam) We would have just sniper-shot you; it would've been easier.
(The McKenzies and Max all hug each other.)
NC (vo): Isn't this just what you wanted to see, the little boy fighting off the house burglars embracing the house burglars?
(Cut to a shot of Buzz from the second movie.)
NC (vo): Was that trout you were sniffing full of glue?
(Cut back to Home Sweet Home Alone, as Max is now living with the McKenzies until his mother returns.)
Hunter: (to Jeff, pointing to Max) So, you go to this kid's house...
NC (vo): They explain everything to Jeff's brother, which...Jesus Christ, I'm having a hard time explaining this you! I can't imagine how they did it! And it turns out the doll was taken by the brother's kid the whole time.
(Hunter's son stands at the top of the stairs, revealing he has the doll the McKenzies so wanted.)
NC: Oh! So the lesson is, it doesn't matter where you live, it's all about the love you show each other–
NC (vo): Nope, they're still beating the shit out of each other trying to get this thing.
(Jeff and Pam run over their extended family trying to get the doll, but Hunter's son throws it down the stairs, just high enough out of Jeff and Pam's reach. However, Max catches it before it hits the ground.)
NC (vo): Yay, the doll is saved just as Mom gets home. So, we learned people are important. I mean, money and property are far more important, but...I don't know, it's a bad movie.
NC: Gotta love the way they try to justify the title, though.
Pam: Home is where the heart is. Sweet home Alabama.
Jeff: Homer's Odyssey, where they do wind up at the end?
Pam: Home, they end up at home.
NC (vo): It's a wonderful...Home Alone...
(Cut briefly to the end credits.)
NC (vo): Three minutes to credits, man. We got three minutes to credits.
(We then cut to the ending of the movie, as one year later, with the McKenzies' financial situation resolved and thus being able to remain in their home, they and the Mercers all have Christmas dinner together.)
NC (vo): You know, why didn't Marv and Harry have dinner with Kevin afterwards? Dumb!
(They all hold up their drinking glasses for a toast.)
Pam: To new friends.
Carol: And family.
(The families clink their glasses to drink, and the movie ends with the camera pulling with the McKenzie house.)
NC (vo): To break-ins, not willing to let go, and a movie none of us will be putting on our resumes.
NC: And that was (thinks briefly) not the worst, but arguably the most intriguingly bad Home Alone sequel.
(Clips from the movie are shown again for the last time as NC gives out his final thoughts.)
NC: (vo) It really is one of those scenarios where you shout: "What were they thinking?" The movie wasn't great, but it was passible for a while as a little Disney+ flick. When you finally realize, though, the "bad guys" are also the "good guys", all the fun is sucked out. Not that it was a ton before, but it was enough. But hey, if there's anything I've learned about these films, it's that, there's never enough. There's always another one to make, whether we want one or not. Though, with this one, I do appreciate they put more effort into it than some of the others. The missteps are just way too big to overlook. If the original is what you watched to get in a magical Christmas mood, then this is the corporate misguided sellout to bring you back...to reality. Ho... Ho... Ho...
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic and, I'll see you at...
(A poster for a made-up Home Alone movie is shown in the corner, parodying Spider-Man: No Way Home, with Max Mercer's face photoshopped on Spider-Man's head.)
NC: ...No Way Home Alone. Tell me they wouldn't make that! (gets up and leaves)
Channel Awesome Tagline – Buzz: Trout sniffer.
(The credits roll.)