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Happier

Happier tits

Date Aired
November 30, 2018
Running Time
15:52
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Todd plays "Happier" on the piano.

BASTILLE & MARSHMELLO - HAPPIER
A pop song review

Todd: Okay. So, one of the themes of popular music in 2018 is that it's been really depressing,...

Clip of Juice WRLD - "Lucid Dreams"

Todd (VO): …and I mention this a lot, probably too much, and maybe I'm just projecting because I'm just a...

Todd: …miserable asshole and I spend my life chained to a computer.

Todd (VO): But, I'm pretty confident on this one. Everything's just gotten really, really downbeat.

Todd: In fact, if you recall, I pointed out previously that...

Todd (VO): [clip of Pharrell Williams'...] just a few short years ago, one of the biggest hits in the country was literally called "Happy", [clip of XXXTENTACION's...] and one of the biggest hits this year is literally called "Sad!". I'm really proud of that one actually, that's the...

Todd: ...kind of insight you can retire on. I'm kidding, I'll never be able to retire. Please donate to my Patreon, links in the description, and smash that bell.

XXXTENTACION: I'm sad and low, yeah

Todd (VO): Yeah, sad. That sums up the year. [single cover of said song] A song called "Sad!", [News article: "Disturbing New Details Emerge in XXXTentacion Domestic Violence Case"] by a wife-beater, [another news article with fan art reading "RIP 1998-2018" and "XXXTentacion Shot Dead at 20"] who's dead. [back to "Sad!" music video] That's what we get in 2018, and it's what we deserve. Todd: So with that insight in mind, you can imagine how I perked up when, as the year was coming to a close, I saw a song shooting up the charts that was literally titled [picture of Billboard Hot 100 dated November 24, 2018, specifically a close up on Number 3, which is...] "Happier". We went from "Happy", to "Sad!" to "Happier"?

Live performance on Good Morning America

Dan Smith: I think that you'll be happier

I want you to be happier

Todd: I want me to be happier too. Look, after three straight years of [news article: Why Are All the Songs of the Summer So Sad?] mopey, drone pop, a song called "Happier" is, well, it's certainly suggestive. Does it mean the national mood is finally lightening up? Have we turned the corner? Is the Zeitgeist going to become more optimistic?

[Brief flashes of depressing/exhausting news reports overtake the video]

Todd: ...we'll see! Okay, look, when a critic tries to tie a popular piece of media to "the zeitgeist", it's--it's usually pretty forced. I can cherry-pick the data and project anything I want on pop culture.

Bruno Mars - "Finesse"

Cardi B: Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on

Don't it feel so good to be us?

Todd (VO): See, look? Everything's great. 2018 was sunshine and roses.

Todd: So, uh, yeah, let's-let's not read too much into this. Let's look at this "Happier" for what it is, a 3-minute song, and it's from...Bastille. Huh.

Todd (VO): [cue snippet of the chant from "Pompeii"] Y'all know I have a running joke about the "Fluke Indie Hit Sweepstakes", where some random indie band nobody's ever heard gets lucky and has a crossover pop hit. I call it that because I expect these bands to disappear and never show up again. [a picture is shown of the band The Neighbourhood with the caption: Have you seen me? THE NEIGHBOURHOOD: Missing since 2013]

Todd: But it turns out, a lot of these bands have, uh, uh, they've invested their winnings pretty wisely!

Todd (VO): A bunch of them, despite never reaching those heights again, they've managed to stick around. Foster the People are still here, Walk the Moon are still here, even Panic! at the Disco are still here. I mean, those guys were actual stars, but them having a hit in 20-goddamn-18 is so out of nowhere I'm gonna count it.

Todd: Fluke indie hit!

Todd (VO): And Bastille has also kept on trucking. They've kept racking up their alternative hits even though they've never crossed over again. I'm never unhappy to hear them.

Todd: They're not, like, my favorite band.

Todd (VO): They're not very musically creative. They're the same kind of synth-heavy thin soup that way too many rock bands are nowadays, but...

Todd: They're at least better than Imagine Dragons.

Todd (VO): They've got nice, strong choruses, and I always liked that main vocalist, Dan Bastille. I don't remember his last name, [It's Smith, for the record] but I like Dan's emoting-way-too-hard drama kid singing, I like how over-the-top he can get with his lyrics. I mean, his big hit was just about being bored with life, and he managed to compare it to one of the most infamous natural disasters in history!

Todd: That's a guy I wanna keep around.

Todd (VO): So he and his band are back, with another big hit. And this time it's an EDM collaboration. [snippet of song's drop at live performance] EDM: it's keeping Coldplay relevant, it can keep Coldplay wannabes relevant, too!

Todd: The producer you might have heard of before 2018, but he's having a breakthrough year, and this is his biggest pop crossover to date. His name...is Marshmallo. He wears a giant marshmallow on his head. [beat] Sounds like I'm making that up, right?

Todd (VO): [clip of Marshmallo performing live] No, that's real, he does wear a giant marshmallow mask, in the grand tradition of dance DJs wearing stupid helmets. [flashes image of Deadmau5]

Todd: And as a fellow face-hider, I do appreciate the marketing appeal.

Todd (VO): A good, stupid EDM helmet should be something a fifth-grader can doodle into his notebook.

Todd: And I eagerly await the next EDM sensation: DJ Pyramid Head. [image is shown of the aforementioned Silent Hill character at a DJ turntable]

Todd (VO): [showing Dan Smith and Marshmallo promoting the song on Good Morning America] See? Here's the two of them now!

Live performance on Good Morning America

Dan Smith: Lately, I've been, I've been thinking

I want you to be happier

Oh man, that does indeed make me be happier! [almost laughing] I'm sorry, it's...it's just Bastille is a very emotive and earnest band, I mean...Dan Bastille's at his piano pouring his guts out. Behind him, you got an unfinished Disney World mascot who's like, "Whooo! Get turnt!" Todd: Okay, sorry. Let's hear their song.

Dan Smith: Lately, I've been, I've been thinking

I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

[Meanwhile, the music video diverges from the song's lyrics and shows a crying young girl--later played by Miranda Cosgrove in the rest of the video--receiving a yellow bow at her birthday, and then a golden retriever shortly afterwards]

Todd (VO): Aww, it's one of these videos. Now, I hate these EDM music videos,

Todd: They're just short films that have nothing to do with the song.

Todd (VO): Aw, well, anyway.

Every argument, every word we can't take back

'Cause with the all that has happened

I think that we both know the way that this story ends

Okay, it looks like "Happier" is going to be a very relative term.

Todd: I mean, the word "happier" is literally a relative adjective, but, this is not gonna be that happy is what I mean.

Todd (VO): This appears to be a breakup song.

I want to see you smile,

But know that means I'll have to leave

So, it's very bittersweet is what I'm gathering. But bittersweet is still better than depressing!

Todd: It's about moving forward, that is indeed happier.

Todd (VO): And the video is pretty happy too, I mean, look at that, it's a little girl who's so sad, but then she gets a puppy! And even though she grows up and all the other girls are mean to her, she still has her beeeeest friend! She...she... [Cosgrove notices her dog isn't looking good, and the dog's rushed to the vet] she, uh... [it is ultimately decided to put Cosgrove's dog down]

So I'll go, I'll go

I'll go, go, go...

Todd: [stunned at the video's sudden downturn, he cups his mouth]

Todd (VO): OH MY GOD! WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT?! Who made the decision to put that in the VIDEO?! I'm over here trying to be upbeat, and then you gotta show me a DYING DOG!

Todd: [channeling his inner Casey Kasem] You know, they do this to me all the time, man, it's impossible to make those transitions! I ju-ju-just want somebody to use his fuckin' brain, not come out of me being...being upbeat, and then I gotta talk about a fucking DOG DYING!

Todd (VO): Ugh. Not showing THAT again. We have, like, a live video, or...? [a landscape-formatted performance video is shown instead] Okay, there we go. Yeah, yeah, we're staying on this one, don't ever show me that dog video ever, geesh.

Todd: Okay, song...song, okay.

Dan Smith: I want you to be happier. I want you to be happier.

Todd (VO): Now, "Happier" is a break-up song.

Todd: But more specifically, it's an "I'm breaking up with you for your sake" song.

Todd (VO): "I recognize that I'm not making you happy, so I'm leaving you for your sake," he's giving up everything he loves for her.

Dan Smith: And the image of you being with someone else, well, that's eating me up inside.

Todd (VO): I'll tell you what, I am a sucker

Todd: for this kind of selfless sacrifice.

Clip of "A Star Is Born" plays

Todd (VO): I swallowed "A Star Is Born" hook, line and sinker...Spoilers, I guess?

Todd: Actually, don't give me any shit about that,

Todd (VO): That story's 80 years old.

Todd: If you don't know how it ends by now, that's not my fault.

Dan Smith: So I'll go. I'll go.

Todd (VO): But, I mean, don't you feel it? It's hurting him so much, but he loves her...or him, I don't know. Todd: But he loves so much that he has to give up everything.

Dan Smith: Every argument, every word we can't take back

Todd (VO): I mean, well, it...it's pretty clear that they're both miserable, so it's not that selfless, but, you know, I feel like letting that one slide. Todd: I mean, I can nitpick here and there.

Dan Smith: Now if we jump together, at least we can swim far away from the wreck we made.

Todd: In this metaphor, you're still swimming together.

Todd (VO): Which is...I, I don't think that's where you're going with this.

Todd: But like I said, those are nitpicks, I like this song. This is going right in the playlist.

Todd (VO): You know what? I am happier now cause we got some good music going on!

Dan Smith: Lately, I've been, I've been thinking

Todd: *singing along* I want you to be happier, I want...*gradually stops while Dan keeps singing*...Okay, hold on...stop, stop, I...something's wrong.

Todd (VO): It's...I don't know! It's...should be working. Everything's there.

Todd: But this...just don't feel right to me.

Todd (VO): I'm...I'm trying to put my finger on it...

Todd: Okay...uh...

Todd (VO): Let me try and put my thoughts together here. I-I'm generally better talking about lyrics and personas and...

Todd: Not so much the music an-and instruments, but...that's the issue here, so I-I'm gonna try and explain as best I can.

Video for "Back to You" plays

Selena Gomez: I know I'd go back to you.

Todd (VO): There's a...trend in current music. I-I've heard it called "Pop Centrism."

Video for "Never Be the Same" plays

Todd (VO): What it means is just...kinda how every hit song these days all...just kinda sounds the same.

Video for "Girls Like You" plays

Todd (VO): The same tempo with the same sounds, nothing too slow,

Video for "In My Feelings" plays

Todd (VO): Nothing too fast. Nothing too exciting, nothing too angsty.

Todd: Like, when was the last time something like

Video for "Someone Like You" plays

Todd (VO): Adele's "Someone Like You" got big? Just like this really spare...stripped down ballad. Or a big, over the top party anthem? I'm sure you can think of examples, but they're so much more rare now.

Todd: Personally, I am no longer over getting told to throw my hands up in the air, so there.

Todd (VO): Because instead, what we've gotten is this mid-tempo boring sludge. That's why pop music sounds so depressing these days. Not because it isn't happy, because it isn't anything.

Todd: And you wanna know who I blame? I blame all the EDM producers who have gotten big.

Todd (VO): It's their sound in particular is what's gotten very boring. And in fact, I'm just gonna say it.

Todd: I hate drops.

Video for "Let Me Go" plays

Hailee Steinfeld: Someone will love you, let me go.

Todd (VO): In case you forgot, the "drop" is the thing that's replaced the chorus. It's where the song builds up to a big, booming musical phrase rather than any repeated lyrics. Like, sometimes they have lyrics sung over top of them, but, you know, it's not a real chorus.

Video for "Jack & Diane" plays

Todd (VO): It's like the riff in "Jack & Diane," that's basically a drop.

Video for "Happier" plays

Todd (VO): And that's what this part of the song is here: a drop. And I hate it.

Todd: I didn't used to hate drops, but that's because it used to actually drop.

Todd (VO): It hit you like they fell from a 12-story building. But at some point after it went mainstream and all these big name pop stars got involved,

Todd: These drops, they just started slowly getting limper and sadder.

Video for "Wolves" plays

Selena Gomez: Oh, to get to you.

Todd (VO): What is that? What am I supposed to feel listening to that? I'm so sick of songs building up a head of steam like they're going somewhere and then it hitting some farting synthesizer line that means nothing!.

Video for "Happier" plays

Todd (VO): I-I don't know what to do with this. Does this riff mean anything to you? Does it signify resignation or surrender or...hope that happiness can be salvaged from heartbreak? Or does it sound like something you'd play to keep the crowd awake during breaks at a hockey game?!

Todd: Eh, you know what? Maybe this is all my fault cause I liked that god damn Chainsmokers song so much.

Video for "Closer" plays

Todd (VO): But even at the time, I knew I was consciously choosing to overlook the blippity bloopity drop, which was...easily the weakest part of that song. And maybe if I'd had two more years to get sick of these weak-ass drops I wouldn't have liked that song at all...My bad, I guess.

Todd: Uh, I don't know, I'm...I'm starting to suspect that this kind of "Festival Techno" has limited uses, and...breakup songs aren't one of them. Here, let me give you my favorite version of this kind of breakup ballad just for contrast. It's a country song.

Live video for "Just to See You Smile" plays

Todd (VO): This is Tim McGraw's "Just to See You Smile," and that song's a much better version of this kind of ballad...cause it's not even a breakup song at first. First verse is just minor sacrifices...like, he saves up his money to buy a really fancy gift, and then in the second verse...

Tim McGraw: And yesterday I knew just what you wanted when you came walking up to me with him. So I told you that I was happy for you, and given the chance, I'd lie again.

Todd: *puts his hands on his heart with a sad face*

Todd (VO): And then the song just ends! There's no third verse, McGraw sings the chorus just a single more time and then he disappears, and the band plays you out while you pick the shattered pieces of your heart out of your lap. That's a song where the music really captures a mood. Just a sucker punch of a lyric and then the audio version of end credits.

Todd: And "Happier" just can't compete with that because its music and lyrics don't work together.

GMA performance of "Happier" plays

Todd (VO): Look at Dan Bastille doing...what is this, a breakup dance? Compared to all the other pop crossovers this year, this is actually one of the better drops I've heard, but...it doesn't fit at all with the vibe of the song.

Todd: It's too pumped up. It works against the angst of the lyrics.

Todd (VO): They flatten each other, they cancel each other out, which leaves us stuck in the middle...again...

Todd: And it's not like you can take the EDM out of it. The song was clearly built around the drop, so...it's as good as it can be, I guess.

Todd (VO): The lyrics are there, the vocals are there, the melody's there...it's so close to being good, but it just doesn't break your heart like it should.

Video changes to the dog version

Todd (VO): No matter how many dead dogs they put in the video, which...

Todd: I mean, that's just cheating, let's be real.

Video changes back to the performance

Todd (VO): *sigh* I don't know. I was really rooting for this song at first, like maybe I would put it in my year-end top 10.

Todd: But *sigh* nah. I don't think so.

Todd (VO): It's not you, Bastille. It's me.

Todd: Maybe it's best we go our separate ways...you know, for your sake.

Todd (VO): And that's a bummer. So much for the whole

Todd: "newfound national optimism" thing I was going for.

Todd (VO): Song's way too sad for that with its...

Back to the...

Todd (VO): dying dog video.

Todd: "Happier" my ass...

Todd (VO): But again, it doesn't even matter, cause these zeitgeist pieces are always a crock. And "Happier" isn't like a #1 hit or anything, it's not even gonna be big enough to signify anything major anyway.

Todd: ...Although...

Performance video for "Thank U, Next" plays

Todd (VO): That new Ariana song that's a #1 hit...that's absolutely huge...and that's about going through dark times and coming out stronger and looking to the future...

Ariana Grande: Thank you, next.

Todd (VO): That is totally a song that's about getting over hardships and being happier!

Todd: *ponders*...I'm gonna have a think piece for you by the end of the week *leaves*

Closing Tag Song: "A Marshmallow World" - Dean Martin

THE END

"Happier" owned by Universal Music Group

This video is owned by me

THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!

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