Channel Awesome
Don't have an account?
Register
Register
in: Article stubs, Content, Guides,
and 5 more

Changes: Hannibal

Back to page
Edit
No edit summary
(Started into the movie itself, although I'm not quite sure what Mason is saying at times)
Line 92: Line 92:
 
''(The film's title is shown, before we are shown its clips)''
  
''(The film's title is shown, before we are shown its clips)''
   
−
'''NC (vo): '''The highest-grossing of the Thomas Harris movie series, ''Hannibal ''had a lot of hype when it first came out. It was everywhere. People were psyched to see their favorite elegant cannibal return to the big screen. The reactions afterwards, though, were less than stellar, with critics not giving it the best reviews, and a lot of people acknowledging something just felt off about it. But it was hard to point out what it was. It seemed to have the same chills, the same gore, the same weirdness that drew so many people to its predecessor, so why was this strangeness not as well accepted as the previous strangeness?
 +
'''NC (vo):''' The highest-grossing of the Thomas Harris movie series, ''Hannibal ''had a lot of hype when it first came out. It was everywhere. People were psyched to see their favorite elegant cannibal return to the big screen. The reactions afterwards, though, were less than stellar, with critics not giving it the best reviews, and a lot of people acknowledging something just felt off about it. But it was hard to point out what it was. It seemed to have the same chills, the same gore, the same weirdness that drew so many people to its predecessor, so why was this strangeness not as well accepted as the previous strangeness?
   
−
'''HFG: '''Yeah, I never really figured that out either.
 +
'''HFG:''' Yeah, I never really figured that out either.
   
−
'''NC: '''''(as Hannibal Lecter again) ''And you want to see if I can help you solve the mystery?
 +
'''NC:''' ''(as Hannibal Lecter again)'' And you want to see if I can help you solve the mystery?
   
−
'''HFG: '''If it gives you something to do.
 +
'''HFG:''' If it gives you something to do.
   
−
'''NC: '''''(staring at the camera in close-up) ''You see, Ridley Scott is trying to test me, so I ate his script for ''Gladiator 2''...
 +
'''NC:''' ''(staring at the camera in close-up)'' You see, Ridley Scott is trying to test me, so I ate his script for ''Gladiator 2''...
   
−
'''HFG: '''That's gonna be a thing?
 +
'''HFG:''' That's gonna be a thing?
   
−
'''NC: '''Totally is, look it up...with some fava beans and whatever wine he recommended in that movie ''The Good Year'' that nobody saw and I didn't see either 'cause you know it's ''The Good Year''. Who the hell saw ''The Good Year''?
 +
'''NC:''' Totally is, look it up...with some fava beans and whatever wine he recommended in that movie ''The Good Year'' that nobody saw and I didn't see, either, 'cause you know it's ''The Good Year''. Who the hell saw ''The Good Year''?
   
−
''(After a short beat, he does Lecter's famous tongue sound effect, but he continues to do it for a little while and gets more over-the-top with it, confusing HFG, and she gets more confused when NC resumes smiling creepily, though his tongue sounds is still heard; eventually, it stops)''
 +
''(After a short beat, he does Lecter's famous hissing sound effect with his tongue, but he continues to do it for a little while and gets more over-the-top with it, confusing HFG, and she gets more confused when NC resumes smiling creepily, though his tongue sounds is still heard. Eventually, it stops)''
   
−
'''HFG: '''It's your time, man. There's a lot of movie to cover.
 +
'''HFG:''' It's your time, man; there's a lot of movie to cover.
   
−
'''NC: '''Good point. This is ''Hannibal''. ''(Sticks his tongue out once more)''
 +
'''NC:''' Good point. This is ''Hannibal''. ''(hisses one last time)''
  +
  +
''(The opening credits are shown, followed by the opening scene)''
  +
  +
'''NC (vo; normal again):''' The credits play as we see Nurse Barney from the first film talking with a ''(shot of a dying Spock from ''Star Trek II'' appears briefly off to the side)'' dying Spock– Oh, I mean, one of Lecter's victims named Mason, played by Gary Oldman.
  +
  +
'''NC:''' Or was it...
  +
  +
''(Mason is shown again, along wit a shot of...)''
  +
  +
'''NC (vo):''' ...the ''Eraserhead'' baby grown up?
  +
  +
'''Mason:''' I saw Clarice Starling and Hannibal Lecter became...friendly.
  +
  +
'''NC (vo):''' I guess we're supposed to fear/feel sorry for him, but his voice is so goofy he keeps coming across as a Jim Carrey character.
  +
  +
'''Mason:''' And when the fox hears the rabbit scream, he comes a-runnin'...
  +
  +
''(Cut to a clip of ''[[How the Grinch Stole Christmas]]'')''
  +
  +
'''Grinch (Jim Carrey):''' ''(looking at his schedule)'' "5:00: Solve world hunger – tell no one".
  +
  +
''(Cut back to ''Hannibal'')''
  +
  +
'''Mason:''' Well, I can list his most conspicuous features.
  +
  +
''(Cut to another clip of ''The Grinch'')''
  +
  +
'''Grinch:''' ''(wearing a lederhosen)'' I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me...
  +
  +
''(Cut back to ''Hannibal'')''
  +
  +
'''Mason:''' Let's say it with the respect it deserves.
  +
  +
''(Cut back ''again'' to ''The Grinch'')''
  +
  +
'''Grinch:''' ''(wearing a dress)'' It's not a dress, it's a kilt!
   
 
{{Stub}}
  
{{Stub}}

Revision as of 19:22, 5 October 2019

Hannibal

HannibalNC

Released
October 2, 2019
Running Time
33:29
Previous Review
Next Review
It: Chapter Two
Link

(The Channel Awesome logo is shown. Then the Nostalgia-Ween opening is shown. This year, 2019, it parodies the opening of the TV series Unsolved Mysteries. It opens with the title Channel Awesome's Nostalgiaween zooming in on the screen, just as the original Unsolved Mysteries title did. Then we are treated to footage of Silence of the Lambs. Throughout, the Critic is heard speaking in a deep voice, a la Robert Stack, the original host of Unsolved Mysteries)

NC (vo): 1991: Silence of the Lambs is released in theaters. It shocks audiences and delights critics...

(Cut then to a shot of the two lead actors in the movie, Anthony Hopkins (Dr. Hannibal Lecter) and Jodie Foster (Clarice Starling), at the Academy Awards)

NC (vo): ...winning several Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Actress, and Best Actor for Anthony Hopkins' chilling portrayal...

(More footage of Hannibal in the movie is shown)

NC (vo): ...as a new form of movie monster, Hannibal the Cannibal.

(Now cut to footage of the 2001 sequel, Hannibal)

NC (vo): Ten years later, a sequel is released, this time with the director of Alien attached. It hyped up audiences, excited horror fans, and afterwards got people asking, (Image of Ridley Scott briefly appears) "You okay, Ridley Scott? You okay?" So, how can a sequel so bent for success turn out an unscrubbed hustling rube with no taste?

(Now cut to a foggy cityscape, with NC walking up, dressed in a trenchcoat, also in the style of Robert Stack, who also wore a trenchcoat on the show)

NC: Perhaps you can help us solve an unsolved enigma. I'm Nostalgia Stack, and welcome to Nostalgia-Ween.

(From here, the show's title sequence is furthered parodied as the purple bars from that show are displayed, with the following words sliding down: "Nostalgia Critic", "Fava Beans", "Brains", "Silence of the Lambs", "Shoes", "Pigs", "Licking Sound Effect", "Lambs", "WTF?!", "Nostalgia Ween". Then the bars disappear and the word "Reviewed" zooms into the screen, as we are then shown a montage of clips of past Nostalgia-Ween episodes. Then the screen fades out as the bars return to take their place in the center of the screen. The words "Channel Awesome's Nostalgiaween" appear on the screen. The titles then are replaced by the usual credits of the show's cast and crew. Then the review begins for real, opening on Hyper Fangirl sitting in an office chair in front of a desk)

HFG: (sighs) Thank you so much for allowing me into your asylum, Benny.

(It is revealed that the person she is addressing, sitting at his desk, is Benny the Assassin)

Benny: Well, I only hold on to the crazies I can think can still be saved.

HFG: Is he faring any better?

Benny: He's a complicated man, lost in his own world. But he carries a lot of insight. Perhaps a familiar face can bring him back to us. You are his taste, so to speak.

HFG: (giggles) Oh, I'll see what I can do.

Benny: Hmm... (gestures to the left, his right) Through that door; the very last cell. Stay to the right.

HFG: Oh, it's a good thing you said, 'cause I was gonna hug the wall with all the crazy people on it.

Benny: You have no idea how many people make that mistake.

(Cut to the prison itself, a dingy dungeon. HFG walks down the hall casually, but becomes nervous as she passes by signs showing the prisoners' names, followed by cells containing the prisoners themselves. First, she sees a sign reading, "Hollywood Chart Guys". Inside the cell are the Chart Guys (Rob and Malcolm), who are reading from a binder labeled "Monsters are Cool and Bad People are Bad" (among other things, including "The Haunted Mansion" and "The Hobbit Part Four"))

Chart Guy 1 (Malcolm): I don't get it. This should've been a hit. (both look up)

Chart Guy 2 (Rob): (sniffs the air, then leans in toward HFG menacingly) I can smell your chart!

(HFG nods nervously and continues on her way. Next, she passes a sign reading, "YouTube Representative". This person, played by Jim, is pacing around his room)

YouTube representative: (speaking very quickly) It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, everything's fine! We got everything under control! Everything's fine! (cackles, then looks toward HFG) And guess what, we just changed the algorithm again. Good luck trying to figure that one out! (cackles again)

(Smiling nervously, HFG gives him a thumbs-up and continues along. Now she approaches a sign reading, "Obnoxious Online Critic". In this cell is the Nostalgia Critic, wearing his Nostalgia-Ween jacket. HFG smiles as she realizes she has found who she was looking for)

NC: (imitating Hannibal Lecter) Good morning.

HFG: Hi, Critic! Hey, I was wondering if you knew–

NC: You were wondering if I knew why Silence of the Lambs was such a masterpiece and its sequel, Hannibal, such a turd.

HFG: (nods awkwardly) Okay, I guess we can talk about that.

NC: They locked me in here because of my views, you know. Seen as too unconventional, (stares, wide-eyed) too dangerous...

HFG: Well, you did make fun of the Aladdin remake.

(NC opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by the sound of another voice behind him)

Voice: What?!

(NC looks behind him to see who said that. It's the two Chart Guys in the same cell as him)

Chart Guy 1: Naomi Scott is a treasure!

NC: An okay singer, though.

Chart Guys: (in unison) Oh, my God! (continue to speak inaudibly over HFG's line...)

HFG: How can you even say that, she's a treasure?! (She and the Chart Guys continue to argue, but the latter two's dialogue is too inaudible to make out) She was our princess, for God's sakes!

NC: (interrupting loudly; normal voice) We're getting off-subject; let's talk about Hannibal!

(The film's title is shown, before we are shown its clips)

NC (vo): The highest-grossing of the Thomas Harris movie series, Hannibal had a lot of hype when it first came out. It was everywhere. People were psyched to see their favorite elegant cannibal return to the big screen. The reactions afterwards, though, were less than stellar, with critics not giving it the best reviews, and a lot of people acknowledging something just felt off about it. But it was hard to point out what it was. It seemed to have the same chills, the same gore, the same weirdness that drew so many people to its predecessor, so why was this strangeness not as well accepted as the previous strangeness?

HFG: Yeah, I never really figured that out either.

NC: (as Hannibal Lecter again) And you want to see if I can help you solve the mystery?

HFG: If it gives you something to do.

NC: (staring at the camera in close-up) You see, Ridley Scott is trying to test me, so I ate his script for Gladiator 2...

HFG: That's gonna be a thing?

NC: Totally is, look it up...with some fava beans and whatever wine he recommended in that movie The Good Year that nobody saw and I didn't see, either, 'cause you know it's The Good Year. Who the hell saw The Good Year?

(After a short beat, he does Lecter's famous hissing sound effect with his tongue, but he continues to do it for a little while and gets more over-the-top with it, confusing HFG, and she gets more confused when NC resumes smiling creepily, though his tongue sounds is still heard. Eventually, it stops)

HFG: It's your time, man; there's a lot of movie to cover.

NC: Good point. This is Hannibal. (hisses one last time)

(The opening credits are shown, followed by the opening scene)

NC (vo; normal again): The credits play as we see Nurse Barney from the first film talking with a (shot of a dying Spock from Star Trek II appears briefly off to the side) dying Spock– Oh, I mean, one of Lecter's victims named Mason, played by Gary Oldman.

NC: Or was it...

(Mason is shown again, along wit a shot of...)

NC (vo): ...the Eraserhead baby grown up?

Mason: I saw Clarice Starling and Hannibal Lecter became...friendly.

NC (vo): I guess we're supposed to fear/feel sorry for him, but his voice is so goofy he keeps coming across as a Jim Carrey character.

Mason: And when the fox hears the rabbit scream, he comes a-runnin'...

(Cut to a clip of How the Grinch Stole Christmas)

Grinch (Jim Carrey): (looking at his schedule) "5:00: Solve world hunger – tell no one".

(Cut back to Hannibal)

Mason: Well, I can list his most conspicuous features.

(Cut to another clip of The Grinch)

Grinch: (wearing a lederhosen) I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me...

(Cut back to Hannibal)

Mason: Let's say it with the respect it deserves.

(Cut back again to The Grinch)

Grinch: (wearing a dress) It's not a dress, it's a kilt!

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.