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[[The Cinema Snob]]: ''(Clearing his throat before reading a letter addressed to him)'' "Dear Mr. Snob. I must say I am disappointed in your choosing of "The Helter Skelter Murders" to be featured on your program. It's one thing to make fun of trolls, E.T.'s or batpussies… ''(rolls eyes)'' But choosing such a dark chapter in american history as fodder for your 'Riff'-program shows a true lack of taste and poor judgement on your part. Leave non-fiction up to the real critics and continue poking fun at regular exploitation- and porno-spoofs".
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The Cinema Snob: ''(Clearing his throat before reading a letter addressed to him)'' "Dear Mr. Snob. I must say I am disappointed in your choosing of "The Helter Skelter Murders" to be featured on your program. It's one thing to make fun of trolls, E.T.'s or batpussies… ''(rolls eyes)'' But choosing such a dark chapter in american history as fodder for your 'Riff'-program shows a true lack of taste and poor judgement on your part. Leave non-fiction up to the real critics and continue poking fun at regular exploitation- and porno-spoofs".
   
 
The Cinema Snob: ''(Confused and lost for words)'' Damn, I… Shit, okay… So…… ''(puts on a big smile)'' Let's do it again!  
 
The Cinema Snob: ''(Confused and lost for words)'' Damn, I… Shit, okay… So…… ''(puts on a big smile)'' Let's do it again!  
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''- - - Opening theme "Believe It Or Not" playing over footage from "Guyana: Cult of the Damned" - - -''
 
''- - - Opening theme "Believe It Or Not" playing over footage from "Guyana: Cult of the Damned" - - -''
   
The Cinema Snob (voiceover): Most of us already know this story. In 1977 the reverend Jim Jones and several hundred members of the People's Temple moved from California to Northwest Guyana to form what would later be called Jonestown; all of which resulted in the mass suicide of its members in November of 1978. 
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 The Cinema Snob (voiceover): Most of us already know this story. In 1977 the reverend Jim Jones and several hundred members of the People's Temple moved from California to Northwest Guyana to form what would later be called Jonestown; all of which resulted in the mass suicide of its members in November of 1978. 
   
 
The Cinema Snob: Naturally a film-version would follow, but all that counts is who gets there first and whoever gets there first is usually the sleaziest. 
 
The Cinema Snob: Naturally a film-version would follow, but all that counts is who gets there first and whoever gets there first is usually the sleaziest. 
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The Cinema Snob (vo): Also the third kid just gets dunked in some water and I know that sucks. But how is it fair to the kid who had his balls shocked and the kid who had snakes poured on him? How awkward would that conversation have been when those characters met back up?   
 
The Cinema Snob (vo): Also the third kid just gets dunked in some water and I know that sucks. But how is it fair to the kid who had his balls shocked and the kid who had snakes poured on him? How awkward would that conversation have been when those characters met back up?   
   
''- - - Reenactment of said scene by Brad Jones, [[Jerrid Foiles]] and [[David Gobble]] - - -''
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''- - - Reenactment of said scene by Brad Jones, Jerrid Foiles and David Gobble - - -''
   
 
Jerrid as the 'Water'-kid: Uh, oh God!
 
Jerrid as the 'Water'-kid: Uh, oh God!
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''- - - (A black man steps forward whilst a sound clip from "Kentucky Fried Movie" is played) - - -''
 
''- - - (A black man steps forward whilst a sound clip from "Kentucky Fried Movie" is played) - - -''
   
Sex Record Voice: Big Jim Slade! *sound of cracking whip followed by a fanfare* Big Jim, former tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. 
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 Sex Record Voice: Big Jim Slade! *sound of cracking whip followed by a fanfare* Big Jim, former tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. 
   
 
The Cinema Snob: This just got… incredibly erotic… 
 
The Cinema Snob: This just got… incredibly erotic… 
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[[Category:Content]]
 
[[Category:Content]]
[[Category:Cinema Snob transcripts]]
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[[Category:Transcripts]]
 
[[Category:Guides]]
 
[[Category:Guides]]

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