Graffiti - Fun or Dumb?

Graffiti - Fun or Dumb?
Released	August 15, 2014
Running time	13:03
Link	http://atopthefourthwall.com/linkara-riffs-grafitti-fun-or-dumb/
Tagline	In this Patreon-backed riff, Linkara riffs on one of the greatest moral questions of our time – is graffiti fun or dumb?
Previous	Family Life
Next	Why Braceros?

NOTE: Linkara's riffs are voiceovered, as is the narration and singing.

(Open on a shot of a tall building in the city)

Linkara: Frank Miller looks at this building and immediately wants to have sex with it.

(At street level, a young couple walk up to a white wall at the base of the building and stop at it)

Linkara: (as man) Look, honey, paint drying! Let's watch it!

(The man opens up a duffel bag he has with him and takes out some cans of spraypaint, while the woman looks around nervously)

Linkara: Why is she serving as lookout when they're doing this in public, facing a street in broad daylight?

(As VERY '70s funky music starts playing in the background, the man starts to spray on the white wall)

Linkara: (as Brian from Monty Python's Life of Brian) People called Romanes they go the house?

(It is revealed that he is spraypainting a heart on the wall)

Linkara: He wants to immortalize his appreciation for Love, American Style. (during the song, some big funky beats play) Tequila!

Singers: Hey, is it fun or just dumb? Yes, either it's fun or just dumb...

(The man is writing in spraypaint "Jim +", as the woman smiles)

Linkara: Well, these two are dumb.

Singers: You know there are kids in schools, / Some of them break the rules...

(Jim has finished spraypainting what it was he was doing: "Jim + Mary"; they then walk off)

Linkara: (as Mary) Oh, thanks, sweetie, but my name is Susan.

Singers: Hey, is it fun or just dumb? / Why does it have to... (line becomes garbled)

Linkara: (as camera zooms in on the plus sign) Ah, so the short is just about the evils of addition signs.

(Later, emboldened by Jim and Mary's handiwork, other youths start spraypainting the white wall, too. Some don't use spraypaint, they use writing utensils and regular paint)

Singers: Make trouble everywhere / And never seem to care...

Linkara: (singing to the song, as one uses a writing utensil) Make it in crayon, you dunce!

Singers: (overlapping) Hey, is it fun or just dumb? / Maybe what their doing's funny, / Maybe it may look that way. / But baby, if it's costing money...

Linkara: (as one guy spraypaints "Krazy" on the wall) Because poor literacy is...

Singers: I wonder what it will cost, who's gonna pay?

(Then everyone runs off as the white will now is covered in graffiti)

Singers: Hey, is it fun or just dumb?

(The camera zooms in on the wall, while the title for this video fades in: "Graffiti - Fun or Dumb?")

Linkara: Hmm... I'm gonna answer... yes.

Singers: Are they big heroes or...

(The following text appears: "a presentation of Vancon Films Limited")

Linkara: Vancon, still more dignified than Dashcon.

Singers: ...are they big zeros? / 'Cause either it's fun or just dumb.

(One guy is seen spraypainting the screen)

Linkara: Don't spraypaint the camera, you idiot! Now we can't watch the film!

Singers: Either it's fun... or just dumb. (with one last beat, the song ends)

(Another youth walks up to the graffitied wall as another couple walks past him; he waves to them, but they pay no attention to him as they walk by; he becomes annoyed)

Linkara: (as youth) Jerks! I'm gonna graffiti their hair later!

(Smiling again, the youth takes out a can of spraypaint and starts painting on the "Jim + Mary" heart, as another man in a coat and gloves and holding a briefcase walks up and becomes instantly appalled at what's going on)

Man: Hey, what are you doing there?!

Linkara: (as this man) I'm really rooting for Jim and Mary!

Youth: (startled) Uh, nothing!

Man: That's my wall you're writing on!

Youth: I didn't hurt it any!

Man: You're defacing the wall!

Youth: Look, man, it's already written on! Why pick on me?!

Man: I know you...

Linkara: (as man) Aren't you the "Throw It On the Ground" guy?

Man: Now, either I call the police or (points at wall) you clean the whole wall!

(Cut to a closeup of the graffitied wall)

Narrator: By definition, "graffiti" simply means "writing"...

Linkara: Writing – fun or dumb?

Narrator: ...or "pictures scratched or inscribed on a surface".

(Cut to a montage of shots of cave art, like the famous cave paintings in Lascaux)

Narrator: The term was first applied to the ancient drawings found on the walls of caves.

Linkara: Cavemen wrote the tale of an idiot called Al and his time machine.

Narrator: In any event, graffiti is as old as civilization. Some of it is highly prized as a reflection of the culture from which it came.

Linkara: Some of it is as forgotten as the sequel to Patton.

(Cut to a shot of Natural Bridge in Virginia, where the initials "GW", for "George Washington" is written on a rock)

Narrator: Even our Founding Fathers indulged in graffiti.

Linkara: (examining the "GW" initials) Our Founding Father, Gary Wright.

Narrator: George Washington's initials can still be seen on the rocks at Natural Bridge.

(Now we see more artwork on the walls of buildings in cities, including one of an orange frog)

Narrator: Recently, some people have labeled graffiti "art".

Linkara: Those people are Communists.

(Abstract graffiti is seen adorning other buildings)

Narrator: And indeed, it can be attractive, amusing and interesting. Often, graffiti is encouraged as decoration on certain walls, fences and sidewalks. It has even inspired art and literature.

Linkara: But not this graffiti.

(Cut to a shot of a run-down, decaying building with less-than-appealing graffiti on the side)

Narrator: On the other hand, by almost any standard, much graffiti is ugly...

(Cut to a wall with various paint splotches on it, along with a graffitied message: "COMING TO A WALL NEAR YOU, RATED X")

Narrator: ...some of it distasteful...

(Cut to another graffitied message: "Off the Pig", with the dot in the "i" inside "Pig")

Narrator: ...and a little of it offensive.

Linkara: The dotting of that "I" offends me!

(A montage of shots of graffiti on buildings in cities is shown)

Narrator: One needs only to visit any major city to realize that the advent of spray can enamel and magic marker pens have given rise to a new look to America...

Linkara: A funky look.

(A man walks down the street and looks up in disgust at a wall covered in graffiti)

Narrator: ...which delights some... and disturbs many.

Linkara: (about this man) Humphrey Bogart does not approve.

(The youth from earlier is again seen spraypainting the wall; he is spraypainting the word "fun")

Narrator: Young people must decide: is graffiti fun...

Linkara: (singing to Fun's "Some Nights") Some nights I stay up making my graffiti...

Narrator: ...or is it dumb?

(A subway train is seen racing down the track, covered all along the entire length in graffiti)

Narrator: Most famous, and perhaps the most controversial graffiti, is that blanketing the New York City subway system.

Linkara: Especially when it promotes buses.

(Cut to inside the subway train, which is practically covered in graffiti from floor to ceiling)

Narrator: One view is that graffiti, too, is a kind of art, and worthy of praise.

(Inside one subway station, all of the walls are almost completely covered in graffiti)

Narrator: Well, it certainly does change the appearance of an often-drab setting.

Linkara: By making it even more drab.

Narrator: Yet, graffiti here is a definite safety hazard...

Linkara: That graffiti could stab you at any moment!

Narrator: ...and needless expense. The cost to the New York subway alone exceeds $2 million per year.

Linkara: Wow, that's a lot of spraypaint cans.

Narrator: The expense is formed through higher prices. Apart from costs are the risks of being caught and the danger of injury. A number of would-be artists have been hurt by subway cars and electric shock.

Linkara: Well, maybe if they didn't lick the tracks...

(Elsewhere, a school building is similarly covered in graffiti)

Narrator: Nationally, schools are a frequent target of graffiti. Although seen in virtually every area, it seems to be most concentrated in the inner cities...

(A trolley, also with graffiti on it, is seen rolling down the street)

Narrator: ...and older neighborhoods.

Linkara: If you people would stop being poor, there wouldn't be graffiti.

(A man is seen removing graffiti from a wall by repainting it red)

Narrator: One reason it is not often found in the suburbs is that it is quickly removed when it appears.

Linkara: By people who paint with blood.

Narrator: No one knows how much is spent totally on the correction of graffiti, but it is estimated that in schools alone, the cost runs into tens of millions of dollars.

Linkara: We have no proof of that, but it is literally a kajillion dollars!

(More graffiti is seen, not only a wall, but on a poster for a grocery store)

Narrator: Until a few years ago, graffiti was limited primarily to alleys, vacant buildings, and fences. Today, it appears almost everywhere.

Linkara: Even in my pants.

(A shot of an artistic structure in a park is shown, all covered in graffiti)

Narrator: Not even works of art are spared.

Linkara: Oh, the Human Centipede Monument.

(Cut to a park setting, with at least one tree covered in graffiti: "Ray", "Junco" and "Hawee")

Narrator: Nor is the natural environment immune. Graffiti is everywhere.

Linkara: Bob Corby forever!

(Cut to a high school campus, with a black high school student sitting there)

Black student: I think graffiti's neat. It's our way to communicate.

Linkara: (as this student) We don't own phones.

(Cut to another high school student, a Hispanic, sitting in a library)

Hispanic student: Graffiti is sneaky. (due to the low volume, it sounds like "sticky", as Linkara points out)

Linkara: (mishearing the phrase) "Graffiti is sticky"? What the hell are you doing with that spraypaint?

Hispanic student: It's done when people think nobody's watching. I can't see the fun or honesty in that.

(Cut to a bathroom in the school, where one student is scrubbing graffiti off a urinal wall)

Hispanic student (v/o): Besides, what they write is neither art nor literature.

(Cut to a gold statue of a small child holding an apple; a ball of red paint is splattered all over it)

Narrator: Some forms of graffiti may be highly destructive.

Linkara: Ah, so Jason Voorhees is a graffiti artist.

(Cut to a painting of a pastoral setting, which gets covered in splotches of black paint)

Narrator: Ten years ago, such damage to works of art was rare; now, it is common worldwide.

(Cut to a shot of a swastika graffitied on a wall)

Narrator: And the hate graffiti, once despised here but seen in other countries, now appears too often in America.

Linkara: If it was in Canada, we wouldn't care, but...

(Cut to a shot of a historical site, with graffiti at the base: words like "Snap", "Roe" and "Screw")

Narrator: Many of our historic sites and national treasures have been affected. The defacement of public property has been termed "a national disgrace".

Linkara: Oh, snap, roe... screw....

(One youth is seen climbing up on a billboard pole to cover the ad in question (for RC Cola) with graffiti)

Narrator: A good question at this point is, why do people do it? The motivations for graffiti are many.

Linkara: Some just prefer Coke.

Narrator: Love, bravado, or even humor.

Linkara: (as this youth, who starts spraypainting) I'm gonna draw a penis!

Narrator: But the motivations are not always so innocent.

Linkara: (as Alfred Pennyworth) Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Narrator: Graffiti (the phrase "KILL THE 87TH STREET BOMBERS" pops up) may be hateful, (another phrase pops up: "BURN BABY BURN") insightful, or (one more phrase pops up: "Long Live Mao") radical.

Linkara: Or sexual.

(The youth who was spraypainting on the man's white wall at the beginning is now seen coming up with a bucket of water, a sponge and a stepladder to clean the graffiti off the wall. He gets up on the stepladder and starts scrubbing vigorously)

Narrator: Some experts say that graffiti is one way adolescents have to express their identities. They say this isn't really any different than putting titles on doors of offices or monograms on things that we own.

Linkara: Oh, yeah, I make sure to spraypaint "Burn, Baby, Burn" on my office walls.

Narrator: Perhaps some of it is an attempt to be unique.

(Cut to a group of youths walking up to a wall together, which already has some graffiti on it)

Narrator: Another strong reason for graffiti seems to be peer pressure.

Linkara: Especially pressuring homeless people to do it.

Narrator: In other words, some of it is done to do it, or merely to show how many times you can do it...

(One of the youths gestures toward the wall, indicating where to paint)

Linkara: (as another youth) But Ron, how many times do I really have to put up "REO Speedwagon Forever"?

Narrator: ...or if you can put it on inaccessible places.

(One youth starts spraypainting what looks like a fancy "4" on the wall)

Narrator: But in still other cases, graffiti is used as a way to mark a territory or communicate in street language.

Linkara: (noticing how the "4" resembles the Greek letter Zeta) This person communicates their love for Sailor Jupiter.

(Cut to another youth writing in a Black Magic Marker a message on his desk)

Narrator: Other graffiti rises out of anger, resentment, and psychological disturbance.

Linkara: Yes, writing on your desk – a sign of psychological disturbance!

Narrator: In any event, it reveals a great deal about the artist's personality.

(The camera zooms in on what the youth wrote on his desk: "THE PRINCIPAL STINKS")

Linkara: "The principal stinks"?! Quick, arrest that kid before he kills someone!

(Cut a school art class, where various students are painting on construction paper)

Teacher: The school board and the principal have approved a request to decorate the school walls, providing you submit your plans to the students for referendum vote. (the students react audibly) So, what do you want to do?

Linkara: (as one student) Let's paint the principal with stink lines around him!

Student 1: Well, if they really mean it, why don't we go mod?

Teacher: What do you mean by "mod"?

Linkara: (as Student 1) You know, Mod Squad! (hums the theme for that show)

Student 1: You know, dayglo colors, wild designs... graffiti, anything that we want!

Student 2: Why graffiti?

Student 3: Because it's groovy! It's where it's at!

Student 4: That's not where it's at with me. I see graffiti in my neighborhood all the time, and I don't like it. If you want that kind of stuff, take it to your own neighborhood.

Linkara: (as Student 4) Vote of no confidence in Cindy!

Student 5: What kind of wall do you want?

Student 6: I like a mural with black or pretty things, not profanity.

Teacher: It seems we're not in agreement...

Narrator: There's this about graffiti: it often starts a debate.

Linkara: A health care debate.

(The youth from earlier is vigorously scrubbing clean the wall he had graffitied prior)

Narrator: Obviously, graffiti is a lot of different things.

Linkara: Including screwdrivers, candy and antennas.

Narrator: And it certainly can be a problem. There are many approaches to it.

(Inside an office, a group of people is examining a decorated model of a subway train)

Narrator: To combat the epidemic of graffiti on subway trains, some cities have begun to buy them already decorated.

Linkara: Unfortunately, they're decorated with macaroni.

(A decorated wall is displayed)

Narrator: It is also used on buildings and fences. This idea of "imitation graffiti", sometimes called "walls of pride", is executed by artists.

Linkara: Who were all paid with exposure.

(A giant letter O displayed on one building)

Narrator: Some experts say this encourages, rather than discourages, more graffiti where it isn't wanted.

Linkara: Particularly SpaghettiO's graffiti.

(Youths are seen painting pretty art on walls)

Narrator: Others have tried to control graffiti by allowing it to be applied in specific places.

Linkara: Soon they become graffiti kingpins.

Narrator: Many think this is a good answer, but others say graffiti is only satisfying if you have to write and run.

(A shot of a security guard walking across a school campus is shown)

Narrator: Schools have met the problem in a number of ways...

Linkara: Like bringing in the Village People.

(Shots of people drawing art are overlapped with the shot of the guard)

Narrator: ...everything from security guards to poster campaigns. Some schools require parents to pay for the damages.

Linkara: Because let's punish the parents for the kids' crimes!

Narrator: Others have attempted to solve the problem by architectural means or use of materials which are easily cleaned.

(A shot of the teacher at the school is shown)

Teacher: I think the punishment should fit the crime.

Linkara: Cane their asses!

Teacher: Those who create the graffiti...

(Cut to a shot of two guys cleaning graffiti off a bathroom stall)

Teacher: ...should be required to clean it up.

(A male student is seen)

Male student: I think the answer comes from pride, because if you're proud of your school...

(This student approaching another who is about to create graffiti on a wall; he stops him there)

Male student: ...you ask others not to deface it.

Linkara: Because having pride will stop others who... don't have it?

(A female student is seen)

Female student: Kids who write on toilet walls have psychological problems. Let's help them straighten out their heads.

(A second teacher is seen)

Second teacher: I think we should attack the problem and not the symptoms. We should give the kids a chance...

(Cut to a shot of an urban neighborhood, where kids are cleaning up the mess and throwing it in garbage cans)

Second teacher: ...to establish a territory where we enforce their identity.

Linkara: (as this teacher) We'll make the kids battle Game of Thrones-style against each other.

Second teacher: We should give them the responsibility to clean up a block on your neighborhood, or to plant a tree, or paint a useful sign.

(Cut back to this teacher)

Second teacher: And whatever they do, it should bear their names proudly.

Linkara: And the kids proceed to write their names in fire on the school lawn.

(Cut to some youths painting watercolors on canvas)

Narrator: A lot of kids get themselves over a graffiti phase by doing something instead of. One day, they decide that it's more fun to use their talents where they'll be appreciated.

(One youth addresses another toward a wall, full of painting, and they talk over what the paintings are like)

Linkara: (as the first youth) I'm making a hentai doujin.

Narrator: It's not that drawing on a wall somewhere is always such a bad thing, but it's not really a good thing, either. The point is that you can get pretty much the same kick and better recognition in other ways.

Linkara: Painting in art class is exactly the same as graffiti.

(The youth from earlier is seen again, watching a man paint over the "Jim+Mary" heart sign on the wall)

Narrator: The solution to the problem of graffiti, then, seems to lie within each of us.

Linkara: May it forever haunt your soul.

Narrator: Young people have to decide if this is the kind of decorated world they want to live in.

(Cut to a black background, with various graffitied messages appearing on it: "GOD IS NOT DEAD, JUST HIGH", "Think for yourself and act on what you think", "WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF NOBODY TOOK TESTS?")

Narrator: For a time, there was a certain romance attached to graffiti.

Linkara: What would happen if nobody took tests?

(More graffitied messages pop up: "THINK FREE", "Stop the Barbers", "Keep ON TRUCKIN'")

Narrator: It was something one did to declare oneself against authority, like funky old clothes, long hair, and hip talk.

Linkara: "Keep on truckin'", the hippest of hip!

(More messages: "ABSURD IS NOTHING", "Don't rip off your brothers and sisters", "END THE WAR")

Narrator: After a while, graffiti wasn't so different anymore. There was so much of it, and it was used for so many political purposes, it was boring.

(More messages, these ones environmentally-based: "Every Litter Bit Hurts", "Down With Pollution", "Join The Environmental Revolution")

Narrator: Besides, many kids began to define the discord. How could you honestly support the environment and be a graffiti polluter?

Linkara: Well, maybe don't graffiti the Lorax?

Narrator: Even if you only write environmental slogans, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

(Cut to a black youth placing the following graffiti on the wall: "Mike is the greatest JERK")

Narrator: Oh, sure, seeing your name or something you wrote on the wall might make you feel like somebody for a time...

Linkara: But then somebody will call you a jerk.

Narrator: ...but is this the kind of somebody you want to be?

(Cut to shots of tattoos on body parts)

Narrator: Drawing graffiti is a little like getting a tattoo.

Linkara: It's declaring your love for a band that will soon fall out of favor.

Narrator: After the thrill of doing it is past, it begins to hurt, and the results stay with you for a long, long time.

(The youth from earlier walks past a newly-painted white wall)

Narrator: Think it over: is graffiti fun, or is it dumb?

Linkara: Think about it, won't you?

(Suddenly, youths are seen graffiting on the walls again, as the funky music from the beginning plays again)

Linkara: Well, that didn't last long! Bring on the fun!

(A montage of shots of graffiting from earlier in the film are shown as the song plays)

Singers: Hey, is it fun or just dumb? Yes, either it's fun or just dumb...

Linkara: (singing to song) Nothing in between, you asshole!

Singers: You know there are kids in schools, / Some of them break the rules. Hey, is it fun or just dumb?

Linkara: (singing) Binary morality forever!

Singers: Maybe what their doing's funny, / Maybe it may look that way.

(Credits for the film start to roll)

Singers: But baby, if it's costing money, / I wonder what it will cost, who's gonna pay?

Linkara: (singing) Let's form a subcommittee and commission a study of the long-term costs for taxpayers versus the psychological effects, both positive and negative!

Singers: (overlapping) Hey, is it fun or just dumb? Yes, either it's fun or just dumb.

(Cut to the gold statue of the small child holding the ball, while the following credit pops up: "Produced by Counselo Films, Inc. CFI for Vancon Films Limited")

Singers: Either it's fun... or just dumb.

(With one last beat, the statue is hit with red paint again as the song ends)

Linkara: Or it's ketchup. Good night!