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'''NC: '''So why was Gargoyles such a kick-ass show? Lots of reasons. ... And you probably want to know what they are. So, let's stretch out our wings and fly right into Gargoyles.
 
'''NC: '''So why was Gargoyles such a kick-ass show? Lots of reasons. ... And you probably want to know what they are. So, let's stretch out our wings and fly right into Gargoyles.
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''Cut to the opening scenes of the show.''
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'''NC:''' So it starts out in present day New York as pieces and debris are dropped on upon passing bystanders.''' '''So they call up Detective Elisa Maza to investigate, the only cop who for some reason has blue hair.
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''Cut to a picture of a blue-haired Marzgurl with the word "Marzgurl?" written at the bottom.''
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'''NC: '''Connection?
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''Return to the show.''
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'''NC: '''She's curious as to what could be causing all that horrible destruction.
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'''Elisa Maza: '''Claw marks? What could be strong enough to leave claw marks in solid stone?
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''Cut to the Critic.''
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'''NC: '''(after thinking for a second) Sporks?
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''Cut to an image of a spork with the words "Lord Spork" written next to it.''
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'''Voice of Lord Spork:''' (accompanied with mystical music) The lineage of the sporks goes on for several eons. In fact, we predate the dinosaurs.
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''Cut to the Critic.''
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'''NC: '''(confused) Indeed!
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''Return to the show.''
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'''NC: '''So we flashback a thousand years ago to Scotland, where the ancient battle for... this... castle, I guess, is being fought by... whoever the hell these guys are, because they... really, really... want it. I don't know. There's like ''no'' detail on this backstory. It's just people with swords doing what people with swords do. Give any guy a sword and he will want to go pillage something.
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'''Invading Warlord: '''Attack!
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''Cut to a scene showing the warriors charging the castle. It then cuts to the Critic.''
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'''NC: '''(while pretending to brandish a sword, parodying Braveheart) They may take our lives, but they will never take our questionably unclear MOTIVATIONS!
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''Return to the show.''
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'''NC: '''But it turns out those stone gargoyles aren't just there for decoration. By daytime, they're stone, but when the sun goes down, they break through the rock and become the defenders of the castle.
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''Cut to the Critic''
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'''NC: '''(a little bit confused) So, they're like stone vampires?
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''Cut to an image of a vampire with sunglasses, smoking a joint and a bong. Get it? Stoned vampire. Then it cuts to the Critic.''
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'''NC: '''No, no, no. I didn't mean like that... Nevermind!
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''Return to the show''
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'''NC: '''So the leader of the clan is called Goliath, who I swear has the coolest freakin' voice of all time.
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'''Goliath: '''You are trespassing.
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'''Goliath: '''They're not far ahead.
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'''Goliath: '''I can scare those gods away without any help.
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''Cut to the Critic''
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'''NC: '''I don't know who that actor's wife is, but I bet she plays a LOT of 70's music when he's around.
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''Return to the show''
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'''Goliath: '''(his phrase is interspeced with 70's music) You and I are one, now and forever.
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''The words "Hell Yeah" appears at the bottom of the screen.''
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'''NC: '''There's other gargoyles too, but for some reason they don't have names.
   
 
(UNFINISHED)
 
(UNFINISHED)

Revision as of 20:06, 17 May 2010

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. Disney has certainly gone through its ups and downs in terms of TV hasn't it.

Pictures of Lizzie McGuire, Hannah Montana, and The Jonas Brothers are shown

NC: ... That is to say it wasn't always the onslaught of "popular" sitcoms slash rockstar Barbie dolls it is today.

Clips of The Disney Afternoon theme is shown, along with clips of its shows as the Critic mentions them.

NC: Example. Disney once had a two hour block of programming called The Disney Afternoon. It started out strong with good shows like Ducktales, Talepsin, and Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers, but after a while, the shows started to slip in popularity, with less successful programs like Quack Pack, Bonkers, and [Picture of Disney's Doug is shown] that show that must never be named. So, Disney decided to take an approach they've never done before: an action series. Something that had no talking animals or cutesy scenarios that Disney was usually associated with.Their answer was a surprisingly well written show simply known as Gargoyles

Clips of Gargoyles are shown.

NC: Often seen as Disney's answer to the Batman cartoon, Gargoyles was dark, serious, and very complex. Its stories were epic and its characters were fleshed out, or scaled out.

Cut to the Critic

NC: So why was Gargoyles such a kick-ass show? Lots of reasons. ... And you probably want to know what they are. So, let's stretch out our wings and fly right into Gargoyles.

Cut to the opening scenes of the show.

NC: So it starts out in present day New York as pieces and debris are dropped on upon passing bystanders. So they call up Detective Elisa Maza to investigate, the only cop who for some reason has blue hair.

Cut to a picture of a blue-haired Marzgurl with the word "Marzgurl?" written at the bottom.

NC: Connection?

Return to the show.

NC: She's curious as to what could be causing all that horrible destruction.

Elisa Maza: Claw marks? What could be strong enough to leave claw marks in solid stone?

Cut to the Critic.

NC: (after thinking for a second) Sporks?

Cut to an image of a spork with the words "Lord Spork" written next to it.

Voice of Lord Spork: (accompanied with mystical music) The lineage of the sporks goes on for several eons. In fact, we predate the dinosaurs.

Cut to the Critic.

NC: (confused) Indeed!

Return to the show.

NC: So we flashback a thousand years ago to Scotland, where the ancient battle for... this... castle, I guess, is being fought by... whoever the hell these guys are, because they... really, really... want it. I don't know. There's like no detail on this backstory. It's just people with swords doing what people with swords do. Give any guy a sword and he will want to go pillage something.

Invading Warlord: Attack!

Cut to a scene showing the warriors charging the castle. It then cuts to the Critic.

NC: (while pretending to brandish a sword, parodying Braveheart) They may take our lives, but they will never take our questionably unclear MOTIVATIONS!

Return to the show.

NC: But it turns out those stone gargoyles aren't just there for decoration. By daytime, they're stone, but when the sun goes down, they break through the rock and become the defenders of the castle.

Cut to the Critic

NC: (a little bit confused) So, they're like stone vampires?

Cut to an image of a vampire with sunglasses, smoking a joint and a bong. Get it? Stoned vampire. Then it cuts to the Critic.

NC: No, no, no. I didn't mean like that... Nevermind!

Return to the show

NC: So the leader of the clan is called Goliath, who I swear has the coolest freakin' voice of all time.

Goliath: You are trespassing.

Goliath: They're not far ahead.

Goliath: I can scare those gods away without any help.

Cut to the Critic

NC: I don't know who that actor's wife is, but I bet she plays a LOT of 70's music when he's around.

Return to the show

Goliath: (his phrase is interspeced with 70's music) You and I are one, now and forever.

The words "Hell Yeah" appears at the bottom of the screen.

NC: There's other gargoyles too, but for some reason they don't have names.

(UNFINISHED)