(Shortened opening)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (long, awkward pause) Uhhh, I wanna talk about the G.I. Joe movie. (takes out the DVD for it)
(Titles and clips of movie are shown)
NC (vo): Yeah, there's no current tie-in, nobody asked for it. I don't really have any reason. I just wanted to talk about this awesome 1987 cinematic nonsense. Is that so wrong?
NC: (giving a military salute) NO, JOE!!
NC (vo): Based on the popular army toyline turned later into a hit 80s cartoon, G.I. Joe followed the adventures of Duke and his team of soldiers fighting the terrorist organization Cobra. You know, when terrorists were... snakes.
NC: I miss snake terrorists.
NC (vo): As their popularity grew more and more, even to the point of recruiting wrestlers into their line-up...
(Cut to a G.I. Joe commercial)
Sergeant Slaughter: Sergeant Slaughter, here! And it does me proud to be a part of the G.I. Joe team for 1986.
NC: '86, eighty-shit. You were always G.I.Joe!
(Cut back to clips from the movie)
NC (vo): ...They decided to go to the big screen with G.I. Joe: The Movie. It was basically Team America for kids. So, no swearing or face-shiting, but just as much 'MURICA!
NC: Is it everything you'd expect it to be? HELL, YEAH! Is it any good? HELL, NO! But I don't want good, I want HELL, YEAH! This is G.I. Joe: The Movie.