Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

Final fantasy nc

May 15, 2019
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the intro. Fade to NC sitting at his desk looking through a binder when he hears his door being knocked on and then opened. It's Malcolm and Tamara)

Tamara: Hey, you wanted to see us?

NC: Ah, Malcolm, Tamara, take a seat.

Malcolm: But...there's no chairs.

(Sudden close-up to a smiling NC)

NC: I said, take a seat.

(The two roll their eyes and sit on the floor)

NC: Do you remember the Swan Princess review?

Malcolm: Oh, yeah.

Tamara: Yeah, sure. I think a lot of people like that one.

NC: And do you remember the characters Mr. Rooster and Miss Kitty?

Malcolm: I think so.

Tamara: Yeah, we voiced them, right?

NC: (chuckling) Well, because nobody demanded it, I decided to give them a spinoff named "Miss Rooster and Mr. Kitty".

Malcolm: You know a rooster can't be female, right?

NC: I don't see gender, only money. Thus, I'm gonna have them star in all the sketches moving forward

Tamara: Wait. You're replacing us portraying characters...

Malcolm: ...with characters that we've already portrayed?

NC: Oh, yes. Virtual actors are the future, so you're no longer needed. Farewell.

(Still smiling, NC presses something offscreen...and a wall of spikes appears above Malcolm and Tamara, closing in on them! Both aren't frightened, however)

Tamara: Don't you need us to do their voices, though?

(NC hesitates a bit. The wall of spikes goes up)

NC: I guess you have a point. Or wouldn't if you didn't mention that. But we are gonna have to negotiate.

Malcolm: No need. You can't bet everything on virtual actors that nobody's even seen yet.

NC: Oh, I think you misunderstood, Malcolm. I'm not negotiating with you. I'm negotiating with your characters. Mr. Kitty, Miss Rooster, please come in.

(The Flash-animated characters, a yellow cat and a brown female rooster, come inside the room, looking displeased)

NC: You see, I had them animated earlier. They're the most perfect virtual characters you can imagine. They will be in all of future sketches, play all of future characters, look exactly how I want them to look! Real actors will be a thing of the past! (laughs maniacally for some seconds, then hands the binder over to Malcolm) If you could just read the lines I wrote for their negotiations, that'd be swell.

Malcolm: (half-smiling with Tamara) Well, gee, we'd love to...

Tamara: But our reach just doubled.

NC: Doh! Everybody associates your voices with them, though!

Malcolm: Well, if you want the illusion to be ruined...

NC: (throws hands in annoyance) No, no, let me just write then to the budget here. These sickos... (mutters a bit while writing something in another binder) Okay, fine. Say the lines.

Malcolm: (reading from the script) Gee, Mr. Critic. Since we're not real, you can negotiate whatever you want.

(As Malcolm speaks, NC notices that Mr. Kitty and Miss Rooster are standing still and doing nothing)

Tamara: Wait, why isn't his mouth moving?

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