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Terminator 2: Judgment Day
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Release Date
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March 10, 2021
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Running Time
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31:03
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Previous Review
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the "TERMONTHNATOR MONTH" title. Cut to NC as he sits, pondering something and then looking up to see he's on camera. He feels rather embarrassed.)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (sighs) Apologies. You've caught in the middle of kind of an embarrassing therapy session.
(NC's therapist, named Dr. Pity (Malcolm), is shown in his office.)
Dr. Pity: Now, now, Critic. There's nothing wrong with therapy.
NC: But this just seems so...silly.
Dr. Pity: Critic, as the world's most sought-after "First World Problem" psychiatrist, I've heard it all.
(Tamara's voice is heard from Dr. Pity's phone.)
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 5:00 says your best friend didn't like your Instagram post.
Dr. Pity: Tell her that's a class 2 emergency. I'm only taking class 3s for now.
NC: I just have what...seems like a little problem, but I just know I'm blowing it out of proportion.
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 6:00 says the Starbucks Barista got his name wrong.
Dr. Pity: Move them up to four.
NC: How do you deal with something like this?
Dr. Pity: Well, have you portrayed yourself as both the hero and the victim?
NC: Yes.
Dr. Pity: Have you complained on social media instead of talking to friends?
NC: Of course.
Dr. Pity: Have you declared your life is just like that drama, Curb Your Enthusiasm?
NC: Yes, yes, I've done all of that.
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 2:00 says they saw a black person in the park.
Dr. Pity: And?
Tamara (vo): (beat) That's it.
Dr. Pity: Tell her to drink a bottle of Raid and all will be right with the world.
NC: Doctor, is there any hope for me?
Dr. Pity: Well, I don't think you said yet what the actual problem is.
NC: Oh, yes, of course. Sorry. You see...I started Terminator Month, and Terminator 2 might be too perfect a movie for me to critique.
(A few moments of silence pass as Dr. Pity emotionlessly stares at a nervous NC.)
Dr. Pity: Did you hear that prescription of Raid I gave you earlier?
NC: Yeah.
Dr. Pity: So you probably wouldn't fall for that.
NC: I'm gonna say no.
Dr. Pity: Ah.
(The title of Terminator 2: Judgment Day is shown, before showing various clips.)
NC (vo): There's a bit of a stigma against action movies. Oh, not from the general public, they're popular as hell. I'm talking about with critics and film historians. While everyone agrees they're often a lot of fun, they're not given much attention as great art. (Posters of The Dark Knight and Black Panther are shown) There are some that break the mold, pushing complex stories and characters, but for the most part, action films are seen as just an enjoyable waste of time. This is a shame, because 1991's Terminator 2: Judgment Day is about as flawless an action film as you can get. Big on mind-blowing ideas? Not especially. Characters as complex as Tennessee Williams? I wouldn't go that far. But think of comedies that (images of...) Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin did. Some are deep and meaningful, but others just give people a good time in the most spectacular way, and they're hailed as classics. Terminator 2 is a classic in the same way. It pushes the envelope, not just in technology, but also stunts, imagination, and clever storytelling. It's one of those films that's hard to find anything wrong with it, and this is a movie that stars the Jingle All the Way guy as an intimidating killing machine, with an accent nobody ever questions. I enjoy using comedy as a means to review something because I think it can offer a unique and interesting point of view. But I'm not gonna lie, that's gonna be tricky using comedy to review something that I think is virtually flawless.
Dr. Pity: Well, Critic, the answer is clear. Just do your best to review it.
NC: You think so?
Dr. Pity: Yes. If it doesn't work, the Internet is always open and kind. I'm sure they'll forgive you.
NC: That's true. I did underestimate the loving nature of online culture.
Dr. Pity: So give it your best and never call here again.
NC: (sounding confident) Will do, Doctor. (taps his fist on his table)
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 1:00 says he had to make small talk and didn't know what to talk about.
Dr. Pity: Cancel all my appointments. I'll see him right away.
Tamara (vo): Yes, Doctor.
(The phone beeps as a caller answers it.)
Dr. Pity: Hello? I'm listening.
(The caller is revealed to be a highly-nervous Zack Snyder (Walter), who is calling from his home.)
Zack Snyder: She said she never saw any of my movies! I didn't know what to do!
(Cut back to NC.)
NC: Let's take a look at what I consider an action masterpiece. This is Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
(The film opens with the reveal of dozens of rotting skulls and skeletons in the aftermath of an explosion at a playground.)
NC (vo): The film opens, familiarly enough, with the future still being in ashes. I think this film had a bit more of a budget than 6.5 million this time.
Sarah Connor (narrating): Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997.
NC: (as Sarah) We didn't think releasing Air Bud would have this big an effect. (The poster for Air Bud is shown.)
(The film cuts to the year 2029, showcasing a huge battle between the machines of SkyNet and the human resistance, led by John Connor.)
NC (vo): The film does a good job catching you up, and honestly works as a stand-alone sequel. Many people, including myself, saw this one prior to the first film. My only criticism? It does way too good a job making me want to play the arcade game again.
(Footage of the battle is shown alongside footage of the film's arcade game version.)
NC: I could've gone to college twice with the amount of quarters that thing guzzled.
(John Connor is shown leading the attack.)
Sarah (narrating): Skynet sent two Terminators back through time to destroy the leader of the human resistance, John Connor.
NC: Oh, whoops. Our bad. This resistance is led by John Walsh.
(An image of John Walsh is shown next to John Connor, before we immediately cut to footage of John Walsh from his show, America's Most Wanted.)
John Walsh: Police need your help to find a convicted killer. (An image of the T-1000 is shown next to Walsh.)
(The film's opening credits are shown, before cutting to the year 1991, where a Model 101 Terminator appears in the middle of truck stop.)
NC (vo): After an opening credits sequence of, again, truly unforgettable imagery, we cut to 1991, where the Terminator, played again by Arnold Schwarzenegger, is sent back to, well, do some shopping.
(A naked Terminator walks through a bar, while various patrons look at him with various expressions.)
NC: One of the things I don't think this movie gets enough credit for, the extras are amazing.
NC (vo): I mean, even in the best movies, you find some actors who say a line a little weird, but everybody in this is 100% believable. Most films would have everybody react the same way to something like this, but everyone has a unique reaction. Some are shocked, some are confused...many aroused.
(A waitress looks at the Terminator with fascination.)
NC: (as the waitress) Told you we were having Austrian wiener schnitzel tonight.
(The Terminator confronts a biker and takes his clothing.)
NC (vo): He takes the clothes from one of the bikers and...
(The newly-clothed Terminator is shown, with the song "Bad to the Bone" playing.)
NC: Let me make it clear, there was a time when this song was not only used for kid troublemaker movies. (The poster for Problem Child is shown next to the Terminator, with the caption "1990".) And this was after that. But "You Could Be Mine" song was a better choice.
(Meanwhile, at a vacant lot underneath a bridge, a more advanced Terminator known as the T-1000 makes its entrance. As NC speaks, several clips focusing on the T-1000 are shown.)
NC (vo): Like before, somebody else is sent back, the T-1000, played by Robert Patrick. This film does a good job tricking you into thinking Arnold is still the bad guy and Patrick is the human hero. Notice it just looks like he knocks out the cop. (The T-1000 is shown attacking a cop and leaving while dressed in police clothing.) We don't know he can change into anything. The clothes, you assume he stole as opposed to shapeshift. And even his mannerisms are a lot more human compared to the other Terminators.
(The T-1000 is shown speaking with John Connor's foster parents.)
T-1000: He's a good-looking boy. Do you mind if I keep this picture?
Janelle: No, go on.
(We briefly see a clip of the Terminator's reveal as the heroic main character, before showing the current scene of a young John Connor going out with his friend Tim, over the objections of his foster parents.)
NC (vo): For a lot of people, it's a legit surprise when Arnold says "Get down", as up to that point, you could easily see either as the hero or villain. This brings us to a young John Connor, played by Eddie (Edward) Furlong, whose stepparents are not thrilled about his rebellious ways.
Janelle: I swear, I have had it with that goddamn kid. Todd!
Todd: (sitting on the couch) What? What?
Janelle: He hasn't cleaned that room of his in a month.
NC: (as Todd) Well, you did brownface in Aliens. (An image of Private Vasquez from Aliens is shown next to Janelle.) Nobody's perfect.
(John and Tim are shown stealing money from an ATM.)
John Connor: Please insert your stolen card now. Draw 3-0-0. (Takes some money out of the machine.) Yes!
NC (vo): Little does he know, his best friend utilizes this hacking technique to become the world's youngest millionaire. (An image of Montana Max from Tiny Toon Adventures is shown.)
(Meanwhile, John's mother, Sarah, is shown imprisoned at a mental hospital after attempting to bomb a computer factory.)
Dr. Silberman: Morning, Sarah.
NC (vo): We're then reintroduced to Sarah Connor, played again by Linda Hamilton. And you know how in the last film, the psychiatrist said this?
Dr. Silberman: (from the first film) This is great stuff. I could make a career out of this guy.
NC (vo): Well, I think he did, as he's now one of the head honchos in this mental institution and is probably making even more money on the committed Connor saying the exact same thing.
(Dr. Silberman is shown watching camera footage of himself speaking with an angry Sarah.)
Dr. Silberman: I'm sure it feels very real to you.
Sarah: On August 29th, 1997, it's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you, too!
NC: At first, I was annoyed that she was saying the exact same thing that clearly didn't work for the committed Reese.
NC (vo): But the more I thought about it, being the only person who knows when the apocalypse is and lying about it for many years, you would probably crack at some point. In fact, this is one of the few films that repeats a lot of similar lines and actions from the previous movie, but it feels totally natural. When you hear lines from Home Alone 2 like...
(Several clips from Home Alone 2 are shown.)
Kevin: Yikes! I did it again!
Kate: Well, you got your wish last year, maybe you'll get it again this year.
Marv: This ain't like the last time.
Peter and Kate: WE DID IT AGAIN!
NC (vo): ...it feels forced and phony. So many sequels do this just so you can say, "I recognize that thing that was good before! Therefore, this is good!" (Back to the film, showing Sarah witnessing camera footage of her being arrested) But in this, it surprisingly feels organic. When they pause the video at a similar time they did with Reese in the first movie, she remembers and knows she has to change her game plan.
(Sarah attempts to engage in a calm conversation with Dr. Silberman.)
Sarah: They don't exist. I know that now.
(We see a brief moment of Sarah encountering the Terminator for the first time.)
NC (vo): When Arnold says...
Terminator: Come with me if you want to live.
NC (vo): ...it shows her he's the good guy, but in the most ironic form as what was trying to kill her in the last film. (Clips of the climaxes of the first two movies are shown at the same time.) Even the climax, driving two vehicles, they crash, and they have to get two new vehicles, resulting in a surprise climax when you think it wrapped up. All of this works because so many of the roles are flipped, like they all have a chance to relive these moments and do them right, redeeming themselves and even the future of humanity. There's only one that feels a little gimmicky.
Terminator: I'll be back.
NC: But...would you be happier with...?
Terminator (dubbed over with himself from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines): Talk to the hand.
(The film's IMDb page is shown.)
NC (vo): A million stars. (Cut back to Sarah and Dr. Silberman talking) With that said, their actions don't always work, as Sarah pretends the Terminator is a delusion, but the doctor isn't falling for it.
Dr. Silberman: I don't see any choice but to recommend you stay here for another six months.
(Upon hearing that, Sarah immediately attacks Dr. Silberman in a rage. We are shown a clip from Ghostbusters II.)
Dr. Egon Spengler: Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.
(Both the Terminator and the T-1000 arrive at a mall, searching for John, with the Terminator holding a bunch of roses.)
NC (vo): Meanwhile, at the mall, the Terminator and T-1000 search for John, and I'm not gonna lie, I really wish I could've seen the scene where Arnold bought those roses.
(The infamous flower shop scene from The Room is shown, but with Johnny's head being Photoshopped with an image of the Terminator, with NC imitating him.)
Terminator (NC): Yes, I would like a dozen roses, please.
Cashier: Here you go.
Terminator (NC): That's me.
Cashier: That'll be $18--
(Suddenly, a gunshot is shown, giving the illusion that the Terminator killed the cashier. Back to the film, showing John playing After Burner at the arcade.)
NC (vo): John plays After Burner...oh, my bad... (An image of that infamous scene from Suburban Commando is shown.) ...Star Commando, I always confuse the two...as his friend notices a cop is scoping for him.
(Tim attempts to warn John after seeing the T-1000.)
Tim: Man, there's this cop scoping for you. Check it out.
NC (vo; as Tim): They found out what we did at Camp Onawana!
(A kid with glasses approaches the T-1000 and points out John to it.)
NC (vo): Anyone else grow up hating this kid? You had one line, and you used it to be a narc.
NC: Enjoy your stitches. (Mimics attacking someone with a stapler.)
(As the T-1000 pursues John, the Terminator attempts to follow, while dropping his box of roses.)
NC (vo): Oh, and you think Batman was the biggest sellout for McDonald's? How about a scene from the Guns 'n' Roses video that literally has guns and roses? That's like Weekend at Bernie's literally putting The Weeknd at Bernie's! (An image of Weekend at Bernie's is shown with The Weeknd Photoshopped in.)
(The two Terminators eventually encounter John in the middle of a hallway, along with another man.)
Man: Hey, hey!
Terminator: Get down.
(The Terminator shoots at the T-1000, revealing himself as a heroic protector. The T-1000 responds by gunning down the man in the hallway.)
NC: Admit it, you always felt sorry for that guy, too.
NC (vo): I think the moral of the film is, if you ever try to do anything good ever, you're gonna bleed.
(After the Terminator engages in a brief fight with the T-1000, John flees on a motorcycle, with the T-1000 in pursuit.)
NC (vo): The two Terminators fight, with the T-1000 knocking him out... (The T-1000 notices a silver mannequin in a store.) Ooh! The latest foreshadow fashion...and he Tom Cruise runs, trying to catch up to John. He...also might've upgraded his ride.
(The T-1000 rides on a truck and drives straight off a bridge, landing in front of John.)
NC: Fun fact: None of the camera crew wanted to get this shot for fear of...well, dying.
NC (vo): So Cameron grabbed the camera and took the shot himself. Sports stores don't have as many balls as this guy!
(The T-1000 drives through the bridge, destroying the truck's roof in the process, though the T-1000 pops up with a cartoon sound effect added in and continues driving. The Terminator eventually joins the chase.)
NC (vo): Though some shots, you can make out the stuntmen a little bit...hey, I didn't know Van Damme guest starred in this...the chase is still amazing, from the size and scale, to the energized editing, to that gun trick you gave up trying after two times...
(NC is shown holding a Photoshopped gun and flipping it.)
NC: No, seriously, I got this...it's all CG.
(After the chase, the Terminator and John stop at a safe spot.)
John: Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are a Terminator, right?
Terminator: Yes. Cyberdyne Systems Model 101.
John: Holy shit!
NC (vo): Something else that's important to point out, the kid in this movie is actually like a real kid. That's not to say this is the first time this has been done, but more often than not, kids in movies were either there for bad one-liners or just to move the story forward. (Posters of The Wizard, Annie (1982) and Kindergarten Cop are shown.) This one acts like a real kid in the 90s, hell, honestly, any time period.
(We are shown an earlier scene of John and Tim looking at a photo of Sarah.)
Tim: Is that her?
John: Yes.
Tim: She's pretty cool, huh?
John: No, she's a complete psycho.
(We are shown a later scene of John with the Terminator.)
Terminator: It's not a mission priority.
John: (punches the Terminator in the chest) Well, fuck you! She's a priority to me!
NC (vo): He swears, he can be afraid, he fights back, he has legit good insults, he's a little shit, but that's what most kids are around that age. He's played in a way that doesn't get annoying and is extremely relatable, giving him real moments to come to grips with what this new reality means about everything he ever knew.
John: It's like everything I've been brought up to believe was all made of bullshit. I hated her for that. But nobody believed her. Not even me.
NC (vo): After this film, this was the gold standard in writing a believable child in a mainstream movie. (Back to the current scene, showing John attempting to call his foster parents for help.) Even give him credit when he tries saving his stepparents, despite not liking them.
Janelle: If you hurry home, we can sit down and have dinner together. I'm making beef stew.
NC (vo): But something seems off when the dog keeps barking. Again, a good callback to the first film.
Janelle: Honey, are you okay?
Terminator: (speaking in John's voice) I'm right here. I'm fine.
NC: Huh. Wonder why I can't do an American accent the rest of the time.
Terminator: (hanging up the phone) Your foster parents are dead.
NC (vo; as the Terminator): And the T-1000 has learned how to make beef stew. (Speaks normally) Seriously, why does he know how to do that?
(Janelle is revealed to be the T-1000, and is shown to have killed Todd by stabbing him through the mouth with its metal arm.)
NC (vo): After teaching the stepdad not to drink out of a carton, the T-1000 continues his search, while John figures out the Terminator technically has to do anything he says.
Terminator: That's one of my mission parameters.
John: Stand on one foot. (The Terminator follows that order.) Yes!
NC: (as John) Now say Red Sonja was your best movie!
Terminator (voiced by NC): Don't push it, you little shit.
(John attempts to teach the Terminator to not always try and "terminate" various people all the time.)
NC (vo): I also like this reversal where the kid has to be the adult teaching him why it's wrong to kill.
John: You just can't go around killing people.
Terminator: Why?
John: 'Cause you can't!
Terminator (dubbed over by Mindy from Animaniacs): Why?
John: 'Cause you just can't.
Terminator (dubbed by Mindy): Why?
John: I order you to help me.
Terminator (dubbed by Mindy): Okay, I love you. Bye-bye!
(At the institution, Sarah plans her escape by faking being sterilized.)
NC (vo): John decides to break his mother out of the institution, as it looks like Sarah has the same idea...after this weird scene.
(One doctor puts the "unconscious" Sarah in her bed. Before leaving, he makes a sexual pass at her by licking her face.)
NC: Mmm. Tastes like peaking in the 90s.
(As Sarah begins her escape, the T-1000 also breaks into the institution, hiding underneath the floors as a guard approaches a vending machine.)
NC (vo): She escapes with a paper clip and the cutest little skip, but meanwhile, the T-1000 tries sneaking in so he can take her out to replace her.
(From behind the guard, the T-1000 begins rising out of the floor while slowly turning from the floor's appearance into its normal self.)
NC: Did I mention the CG in this really holds up?
NC (vo): Sometimes, it looks a little shoddy, but for friggin' 1991, this looks better than some CG effects you see today!
(As the guard prepares to leave, the T-1000 stands behind him, taking on the same appearance as the guard.)
Guard: Hey-hey, I got a full house.
NC (vo; as the guard): Wait until I tell Mr. Clamp.
(The guard turns around to look at the T-1000 in the guard's appearance face-to-face.)
NC: I kind of admire that this is shot like a split-screen...
(We are shown a front view of the guard and the T-1000 onscreen at the same time, a shot later shown again during the climax.)
NC (vo): ...almost like they're indicating they used the same actor to play both parts, but then get shots like this where you realize it had to be twins...only later to actually duplicate the same actor.[1] This film's goddamn amazing! (The Terminator and John arrive at the institution.) John and the Terminator show up shortly after.
John: You gotta promise me you're not gonna kill anyone, right?
Terminator (dubbed by Mindy): Why?
Terminator: (raises his hand) I swear I will not kill anyone.
(Soon after making that vow, the Terminator shoots the guard in the leg for him and John to get through, but doesn't kill him.)
NC (vo): Well, thank Skynet for loopholes.
John: What the hell are you doing?
Terminator: He'll live.
NC: (as a news reporter, reading a report) In other news today, a security guard died due to loss of blood in his legs. Sad and weird.
NC (vo): This reunion will be great.
(As Sarah attempts to escape in an elevator, out of the elevator comes the Terminator, much to her absolute horror.)
Sarah: No! NO! (starts running away) NO!
NC: This is exactly how it went when they asked her to do... (vo; shows a poster of...) Dark Fate.
John: Help her!
Terminator: Wait here.
NC (vo): He shoots her in the legs. (Mimics the Terminator) She'll live.
(The Terminator begins attacking several people who were trying to restrain Sarah.)
NC (vo): I like that all these guys are clearly knocked out hard, but the security guard is given this treatment.
(The Terminator knocks one female security guard out by pushing her away from him.)
NC (vo; as the guard): Well, I'm down for the count. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just not paid enough to deal with shit like this.
John: It's okay, Mom. He's here to help. It's okay.
NC (vo): John convinces her that it's okay, until it's not okay.
(The T-1000 confronts the trio, passing through a locked gate easily thanks to its liquid metal.)
NC: Meanwhile, the Internet is like, "That's good, but it needs more Homer and a bush". (A scene of Homer Simpson walking through a bush in a similar manner to the T-1000 is shown.)
(The T-1000 relentlessly pursues the trio as they attempt to escape. This sequence is shown alongside various clips of the T-1000 getting damaged and repairing itself.)
NC (vo): As good as the CG effects are, the practical effects are even more mind-blowing, as every time the T-1000 is torn apart, it's always a practical effect. That means this, this, and even this were all shot in front of the camera. For as groundbreaking as the CG is, they knew they had to combine it with other effects, because the eye would get too used to it and would start to look phony, like, sadly, so much CGI has today, because it's been so overused. (A clip from the climactic fight scene from Black Panther is shown.)
(As the trio escape in a police car, the T-1000 attempts to follow by holding onto the back of the car, but the Terminator shoots his gun, forcing the T-1000 to let go.)
NC (vo): They fight off the T-1000 and don't take any chances with parts left over.
(The T-1000 regains his missing parts by having the missing parts be turned to liquid and ooze back into his body.)
NC: (as the T-1000) Thank God. I won't have to stuff down there now. (And we start to go to a commercial...until NC stops it.) Yeah, I'm going out on a dick joke! What about it?!
(And NOW we go to a commercial. When we come back, we see the trio, Sarah, John, and the Terminator, still riding in the police car.)
NC (vo): I'm so glad after I gushed how good the effects are, we get arguably the worst rear projection in the movie. Maybe it's like Sin City and Tarantino took over directing for a bit. (Images of Sin City and From Dusk to Dawn are shown.) Hamilton doesn't have any shoes on.
Sarah: (to John) What were you thinking? You cannot risk yourself, even for me. Do you understand?
NC (vo): Sarah gives John a hard time for coming to save her, causing him to tear up.
Terminator: (to John) What's wrong with your eyes?
John: Nothing.
NC: I always found it odd that a machine based on biological termination doesn't know what crying is.
NC (vo): Though, maybe the idea is he knows how, just not why. Either way... (Mimics the Terminator) What a girly man!
Sarah: (to the Terminator) So what's your story?
(The Terminator looks at her with an added sound effect of a thump and Crystal, Ronette, and Chiffon from Little Shop of Horrors scatting. Meanwhile, the T-1000 confronts a policeman in a motorbike.)
NC (vo): Meanwhile, the T-1000 searches for a new vehicle.
T-1000: Say, that's a nice bike.
NC: Well, we have the shtick for the next Terminator all set up. (An image of the third film's villain, the T-X, saying "I like your gun", is shown.)
(The next morning, the trio continue to drive through the desert, while making pit stops along the way.)
NC (vo): I guess it doesn't help that after I praised the kid dialogue, too, these couple of lines here do seem a little Disney Afternoon.
John: (to the Terminator) You say "no problemo". And if you want to shine them on, it's "hasta la vista, baby".
NC: He got 98% of it down when some can't even get 1% of it down. (An image of Young Anakin from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace is shown.) I say cut him a little slack!
(The trio make a stop at a gas station, where a damaged helicopter is at.)
NC (vo): My God, he actually got to the chopper.
(The Terminator and John notice two kids playing with toy guns.)
NC (vo): I know I said this film doesn't have the deepest ideas, but that doesn't mean it has none at all. There are some very poignant moments that arguably need to be in a film like this if it's to hold any weight or suspense.
John: We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean.
Terminator: It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
NC: (as the Terminator) Just look at where the franchise goes. (The poster for Terminator: Genisys is shown.)
(Another shot of the kids playing with the toy guns is shown, before we instantly cut to the Terminator attempting to get new weaponry.)
NC (vo): Oh, well. Back to making guns look like the coolest goddamn thing in the world.
John: (nodding) That's definitely you.
(A shot of the Terminator with a minigun is shown with the caption "Guns are bad!" and a "ta-da" sound effect. Sarah continues watching as the Terminator and John begin to bond with each other.)
NC (vo): John does continue to bond with the Terminator, forcing Sarah to think back at all the deadbeats she dated in the past.
Sarah (narrating): It would never leave him, never shout at him or get drunk and hit him. This machine was the only one who measured up.
NC: (as Sarah) It gives me hope that vibrator technology will advance to raising kids, too. Then I'd be set.
(Sarah has a nightmare about Judgment Day, involving her seeing herself playing with a younger John in a playground.)
NC (vo): She has, honestly, one of the freakiest dream sequences I can remember growing up, where she sees her past self raising John in what could've been an alternate life.
(Sarah attempts to warn herself what is about to occur.)
NC (vo; as Sarah): That uniform makes your calves look chunky!
(Too late; Sarah finds herself being a witness to the chaotic events that ensue, showing a bright light destroying and killing anything in its path, including Sarah herself, before the scene immediately cuts to her waking up from the nightmare before we could see that full shot of Sarah being killed.)
NC: Okay, I did that for a reason, to show that a quick cut could still be effective.
NC (vo): What's interesting about Cameron, though, is he not only takes it several steps further, but it's several expensive steps further. It isn't just a bright light. It's people set ablaze, the city explodes, countless models are fried, people are nuked into ashes, and even blowing up one of the leads isn't enough, you got to see her goddamn skeleton! I can't fathom how much a scene like this costs that easily could've been edited out. But you do remember it more, and these images constantly remind you what's at risk and why so many of the grislier scenes are justified. (Sarah immediately takes the car to go confront the one who could cause this future.) So much so that Sarah's going after the man who's developing the Skynet technology based on the pieces the first Terminator left behind, Miles Dyson, played by Joe Morton.
(Miles Dyson is shown at his home, working on something, while his family, especially his son, plays with a remote control truck.)
NC (vo): Oh, they also cut the car chase budget down quite a bit.
(Sarah attacks Dyson's home in an assassin-style attack, attempting to shoot Dyson.)
NC: That's right. Stop him before he's a part of a horrible monstrosity! (The poster for Blues Brothers 2000 is shown.)
(The Terminator and John arrive, just as Sarah, who was about to kill Dyson in front of his family, realizes what she was about to do and immediately becomes regretful.)
NC (vo): John and the Terminator show up and try to stop her, now realizing she herself couldn't go through with the act.
John: (comforting Sarah) Look at me, Mom.
NC (vo; as John): You got the wrong house. This is Miles Tyson from the Frozen Meats company! On the plus side, we might leave with some Buffalo Chicken dip.
John: You're okay. You're gonna be okay. We'll figure something out, okay?
NC (vo): I really dig this moment where, again, the roles are switched and John has to be the parent for a moment, comforting her, quite different to how she's been treating him throughout half the film. But let's face it, what you remember about this scene is the arm moment.
(The Terminator reveals to Dyson what he is by ripping the skin of his arm off, exposing his robot skeleton arm.)
NC: My...God, these effects!
NC (vo): Again, you know this would all be done with CG today, but knowing they built that arm to look like a real human arm and have an operating mechanical arm under it in the same shot, it's insane the attention to detail this movie has.
Terminator: Now listen to me very carefully.
NC: (as the Terminator) Put the cookie down.
(After informing Dyson of the future consequences of his work, they convince him that these items and his designs must be destroyed, and they break into the Cyberdyne building, retrieve the CPU and the arm, and set explosives to destroy Dyson's lab, until the police arrive in the middle of their attempts.)
NC (vo): They catch Dyson up to speed and it's decided they're all gonna destroy the Skynet technology before it has a chance to destroy humanity. Unfortunately, the guards spot them and they call in as many cops as possible, leading to one of the funnier lines in the movie.
John: We got company.
Dyson: Police?
Sarah: How many?
John: All of them, I think.
NC: (as John, imitating Dr. Seuss' style of rhyming) They're led by Captain Kitchen Sink. (An image of a police officer is shown with the image of a sink Photoshopped on the officer's head.)
(The Terminator prepares to fight against the police)
NC (vo): The Terminator says he'll take care of them without killing anyone.
NC: And I had to cross my legs for this scene, because this moment gets me so friggin' hard.
(The explosive sequence showing the battle between the Terminator and the police is shown, arousing NC.)
NC: Oh! It's like if a gun and a punch can have an orgasm! (As NC continues to enjoy this, the earlier scene of the two kids playing with toy guns appears next to him.) Oh, something about we're not gonna make it, violence will be our downfall, whatever. (Pushes the clip away and cheers.) GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, NOW, NOW, NOW!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
NC (vo): They're set to blow up the place, but are stopped before setting it off.
(Some cops manage to break into the building and fatally shoot Dyson.)
NC: Well, that's a 1991 LA cop moment.
(Dyson rigs an improvised dead man's switch that detonates the explosives when he dies, destroying the building and thus averting Skynet.)
NC (vo): The others escape, leaving Dyson's literal last breath setting off the explosions. Again, I legit feel bad whenever somebody dies in this movie. It's like the anti-Wachowski method. (Posters of the Matrix trilogy are shown.)
(As the trio attempt to escape the building, while being cornered by other cops, the T-1000 also arrives on the scene.)
NC (vo): The T-1000 works his way in, though, as they work their way out.
Cop: (to the approaching Terminator) Get down on the floor, face down! Down on the floor, now!
NC: Funny, you...didn't give that warning to the unarmed man upstairs, but the guy literally covered in bullets, we should follow the book on this one.
(The trio escape in a truck.)
NC (vo): He grabs himself an Amazon delivery truck and they drive off, with the T-1000 not far behind.
(The T-1000, in its liquid form, gets into a police helicopter and confronts the pilot onboard.)
T-1000: Get out. (The pilot immediately jumps off the copter.)
NC (vo; as the pilot): Tell my wife I died fighting a Capri Sun commercial!
(We are shown the movie's action sequence of the T-1000, riding the helicopter, pursuing the trio in their truck as the Terminator and Sarah attempt to fight back with their guns.)
Sarah: Chopper's coming in!
Terminator: It's him.
NC (vo): He chases them down, shooting at them, while he forms a third arm to fly...
NC: At least, I hope that's a third arm.
NC (vo): ...and again, we partake in one of the coolest action scenes ever. I still have trouble convincing younger people sometimes that they really did all this. No CG, no removed wires, no models. They just flew a goddamn copter under bridges, over bridges, even into a truck! Goddamn unbelievable! The only thing that could make this scene better is this music. (The song from The Blues Brothers plays briefly in the sequence.) They both crash and have to get different vehicles, resulting in my personal favorite badass moment.
(The Terminator, carrying his gun, walks from his vehicle towards the T-1000's vehicle, and fires multiple shots at it through its window. Video game scores of 100, as well as a "KO", are added into the scene. Eventually, the T-1000's truck crashes, causing the T-1000 to be frozen in ice, as the Terminator prepares to fire one more shot at it.)
NC (vo): The T-1000 gets frozen from the liquid nitrogen from the truck he was driving, leading to a line so famous, I don't think it needs any introduction.
(The Terminator's famous line, "Hasta la vista, baby"...is suddenly dubbed over with dialogue from Batman & Robin.)
Mr. Freeze (vo): What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!
(The Terminator shoots the T-1000 to pieces.)
NC: Kids quoted that for years.
(However, the T-1000 still finds a way to restore itself and continues to pursue the trio through a steel mill.)
NC (vo): But the heat starts to melt the pieces together...I never got why they couldn't just kick them somewhere else...and they try to get their injured selves to safety.
(An injured Sarah falls down as the T-1000 pursues them in a slow manner.)
John: Come on, Mom! Get up, get up!
NC (vo): It's funny. I always assumed the T-1000 was acting cocky, taking his time, but this dude was frozen. Maybe he's still just thawing out.
(The famous line from Suburban Commando, "I was frozen today!", is about to be shown, but NC pushes it away.)
NC: Yeah, that a thing I did! Anyway...
(The T-1000 and the Terminator fight once more, with the more advanced model seriously damaging and shuts down the Terminator, who eventually manages to bring himself back online using an alternate power source.)
NC (vo): The T-1000 kills the Terminator, but he has...a backup the T-1000 didn't know about?
(A scene from ??? is shown.)
Man: All right.
NC (vo): And he tries to take Sarah's form to trick John.
(Just as John approaches the T-1000, who is disguised as a wounded Sarah, the actual Sarah approaches from behind.)
NC: (as John) Which one do I shoot?
(Sarah shoots the T-1000.)
NC (vo; as John): Oh, good. One of them will do it for me.
(Sarah continues shooting the T-1000 towards the edge, where a crucible of molten steel lies in the bottom, but soon runs out of bullets from her gun.)
NC (vo): They almost knock him into the lava, but... (Imitates Elmer Fudd) No more bullets.
(The T-1000, having recovered from being shot, waves its finger at John and Sarah.)
NC: (as the T-1000) See? I can have quips, too.
(Just as the T-1000 nearly kills John and Sarah, the Terminator takes it by surprise and shoots it with a grenade launcher.)
NC (vo): But the Terminator, of course, arrives in time and blows him to hell, which I...think you would see some of this imagery.
(The blast caused the T-1000's body to be completely burst open, the head and arms hanging from mere threads.)
NC: I also love this weird-ass sound it makes that it's never made before. (The T-1000 loses its balance and falls into the molten steel with a screeching noise.) Did it step on a hive of spider witches? What was that?
(As the T-1000 thrashes in the steel while dying, it briefly takes on the forms of all the people it took forms of before.)
NC (vo): I like he tries to replicate everything he's transformed into to try and figure a way out, and it also makes some hauntingly surreal nightmare fuel. (In its last moments, the T-1000 takes the rough shape of a giant open-mouthed head that turns inside-out) Why couldn't this be the Na'vi's design? (An image of the Na'vi's from Avatar is shown, with the Photoshopped image of the T-1000's giant open-mouthed head.) Now that would look truly alien.
(Finally, it returns into a terrified face that dissolves in the metal, finally destroying the T-1000 for good.)
NC: We'd like to thank James Cameron for becoming Terry Gilliam for a few minutes.
Terminator: (getting back up) I need a vacation.
NC: And Joss Whedon.
(John tosses the arm and CPU of the original Terminator into the vat as well.)
NC (vo): They burn the material that could give birth to Skynet...hey, what about the other arm? (An earlier shot of the Terminator losing an arm is shown.)
NC: Don't worry about it. The sequels don't.
NC (vo): But it's revealed that it'll never be fully prevented unless the Terminator himself is terminated.
Terminator: (to a crying John) I know now why you cry. But it's something I could never do.
NC: (as the Terminator) I just learned how to do comedy. (The poster for Twins is shown.) Tears is not part of the Arnold package.
(The Terminator says goodbye to John and Sarah, before Sarah lowers the Terminator into the vat and allows him to sink into it, while the Terminator gives a thumbs-up signal as he is destroyed.)
NC (vo): He's slowly lowered into the lava, Alien 3 finally knows what to rip its ending off of, and he even gives his own Siskel & Ebert review of the movie going down.
(Sarah and John embrace each other.)
NC (vo; as Sarah): It's okay, honey. We'll just buy you a new Terminator...or a Go-Bot or something.
(The movie ends with the shot of a car moving along the road.)
NC (vo): The film ends with the uncertain future rolling ahead, not sure if what they did will save humanity or not.
NC: Which is quite different from the original ending they had, where they clarified the future is 100% safe.
(The film's alternate ending is shown, showing an older Sarah witnessing a happy scene at a playground, the nightmarish Judgment Day having not ever occurred.)
Sarah (narrating): 1997 came and went. Nothing much happened. Michael Jackson turned 40.
NC: (as Sarah) He looks like he has 10 more years in him.
NC (vo): It's funny, because I didn't really like this ending, because it didn't leave it open if the future was altered. If anything, the first film indicated it can't be altered. But now, I look at this thinking...well, mmm...could've saved us some pretty unnecessary follow-ups. (Posters for Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation, and Terminator Genisys are shown.)
(Sarah's granddaughter approaches Sarah)
Granddaughter: Tie me, Grandma, tie me.
Sarah (narrating): Because if a machine can learn the value of human life, maybe we can, too.
NC (vo): I think people would've seen it as corny if it stopped here, though, so maybe it's a "pick your poison" type deal.
NC: For me, though, Terminator 2 is about as perfect an action film as you can get.
(Footage of the film plays out as NC gives his official thought.)
NC (vo): Because it isn't just the action that's so good in it. Its acting is fantastic...I'm kind of shocked no Oscar nods ever came out of it...the direction is poignant, the callbacks are earned, the threats feel real, the effects are still brilliant, and everybody in it is charming and likeable. Anytime it starts to lean towards something maybe a little too silly, it balances out with the intimidating moments that are intense and suspenseful. The same way the first Terminator was chosen by the Library of Congress to go into the National Film Registry to be preserved, I think this film should, too. It's not one of the Citizen Kanes of drama, but I would argue it's one of the Citizen Kanes of action, and action does play a big part in entertainment. It's timeless in so many ways great films should be timeless, and despite it still being massively popular, I think it deserves more respect for the impact that it had. So keep watching it, keep talking about it, and let's never let the respect for this amazing movie ever die.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (Gets up and leaves.)
Channel Awesome Tagline: John: You just can't go around killing people.
Terminator (dubbed over by Mindy from Animaniacs): Why?
(The credits roll)
- ↑ Sarah Connor's double was, in fact, portrayed by Linda's twin sister Leslie Hamilton in that scene, not CGI-duplicated.