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{{Infobox
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<p style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">{{Infobox
 
|Box title = Exorcist 2
 
|Box title = Exorcist 2
 
|Image file = Nc_exorcist_2_by_marobot-d4dy8u4.jpg
 
|Image file = Nc_exorcist_2_by_marobot-d4dy8u4.jpg
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|Row 2 info = 23:07
 
|Row 2 info = 23:07
 
|Row 3 title = Previous review
 
|Row 3 title = Previous review
|Row 3 info = [[Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows]]
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|Row 3 info = [[Blair Witch 2 - Book of Shadows]]
 
|Row 4 title = Next review
 
|Row 4 title = Next review
|Row 4 info = [[Doug's 1st Movie]]
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|Row 4 info = [[Doug's First Movie]]
 
|Row 5 title = Link
 
|Row 5 title = Link
 
|Row 5 info = http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/32956-exorcist-2}}(Nostalgia-Ween opening plays, featuring images and clips from NC’s reviews of Casper, It, Ernest Scared Stupid, and Teddy Ruxpin, all set to “The X-Files” theme)</p>
|Row 5 info = http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-exorcist-ii-the-heretic/|Row 6 title = Real Thoughts|Row 6 info = http://channelawesome.com/exorcist-ii-nostalgia-critic-real-thoughts/}}
 
(Nostalgia-Ween opening plays, featuring images and clips from NC’s reviews of [[Leprechaun]], ''[[Casper]]'', ''[[IT|It]]'', [[Paranormal Activity]], ''[[Ernest Scared Stupid]]'', and [[Halloween '08 Special|Teddy Ruxpin]], all set to “The X-Files” theme)
 
 
 
(Images and footage from “The Exorcist” (in addition to the movie poster for “Exorcist 2”) are shown as NC speaks)
 
(Images and footage from “The Exorcist” (in addition to the movie poster for “Exorcist 2”) are shown as NC speaks)
   
NC (voiceover): Let’s finish out Nostalgia-Ween with another bad sequel. You all know the film “The Exorcist.” Creepy girl gets possessed and two priests have to exorcise her through prayer and… (A clip of Damien Karras beating [[Top 11 Scariest Performances|Regan (while she’s possessed)]] on the floor is shown) …beating the shit out of her. Well, four years later, John Boorman took the directing chair to bring us the sequel. “Exorcist 2: The Heretic.” And just like the first film where people had to be rushed to the hospital because of scariness…
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NC (voiceover): Let’s finish out Nostalgia-Ween with another bad sequel. You all know the film “The Exorcist.” Creepy girl gets possessed and two priests have to exorcise her through prayer and… (A clip of Damien Karras beating[[Top 11 Scariest Performances| Regan (while she’s possessed)]] on the floor is shown) …beating the shit out of her. Well, four years later, John Boorman took the directing chair to bring us the sequel. “Exorcist 2: The Heretic.” And just like the first film where people had to be rushed to the hospital because of scariness…
   
 
NC: …people had to be rushed to the coffee shop to wake the fuck up.
 
NC: …people had to be rushed to the coffee shop to wake the fuck up.
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(The title screen for “Exorcist 2: The Heretic” is shown, followed by a montage of clips from the movie)
 
(The title screen for “Exorcist 2: The Heretic” is shown, followed by a montage of clips from the movie)
   
NC (voiceover): This is certainly one of the strangest sequels to ever be constructed. It has a lot of scary ideas, but no real scary scenes. Its concepts are fascinating, but its delivery is downright silly. It has the original star, but is directed by the same guy who put Sean Connery in orange lederhosen. (An image of Sean Connery dressed in “orange lederhosen” for the film “Zardoz” appears briefly)
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NC (voiceover): This is certainly one of the strangest sequels to ever be constructed. It has a lot of scary ideas, but no real scary scenes. Its concepts are fascinating, but its delivery is downright silly. It has the original star, but is directed by the same guy who put Sean Connery in orange leiderhosen. (An image of Sean Connery dressed in “orange lederhosen” for the film “Zardoz” appears briefly)
   
 
NC: You can see where problems might arise. So, let’s see if the power of Christ can compel this film, this is “Exorcist 2.”
 
NC: You can see where problems might arise. So, let’s see if the power of Christ can compel this film, this is “Exorcist 2.”
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Father Lamont: Evil. Evil is a spiritual being, alive and living.
 
Father Lamont: Evil. Evil is a spiritual being, alive and living.
   
NC (voiceover): Well, I’m sure a woman who plainly showed that she’s a person of science and fact would love to go up against (speaks dramatically) EVIL!
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NC (voiceover): Well, I’m sure a woman who plainly showed that she’s a person of science and fact would love to go up against (speaks dramatically) EVIL!!
   
 
Dr. Tuskin: The shock of recall could result in self-punishment.
 
Dr. Tuskin: The shock of recall could result in self-punishment.
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Young Kokumo: (to Father Merrin while swarmed by locusts and becoming possessed) I am Pazuzu!
 
Young Kokumo: (to Father Merrin while swarmed by locusts and becoming possessed) I am Pazuzu!
   
NC: Okay, you sound more like Eartha Kitt from [[The Emperor's New Groove|The Emperor’s New Groove]], (an image of Yzma from said movie appears quickly) but whatever. I’ll still try to be scared of you.
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NC: Okay, you sound more like Eartha Kitt from “The Emperor’s New Groove, (an image of Yzma from said movie appears quickly) but whatever. I’ll still try to be scared of you.
   
 
Father Lamont: Pazuzu. Pazuzu!
 
Father Lamont: Pazuzu. Pazuzu!
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NC: Oh, that’s okay, then. (Beat) No, actually, I think I’m gonna go back to my first reaction. WHAT?!
 
NC: Oh, that’s okay, then. (Beat) No, actually, I think I’m gonna go back to my first reaction. WHAT?!
   
NC (voiceover): God, who wrote that line? That was awful! Why would you admit that so casually to a stranger? And a little kid, no less! She’d be scared shitless!
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NC (voiceover): God, who wrote that line?! That was awful!! Why would you admit that so casually to a stranger? And a little kid, no less! She’d be scared shitless!
   
 
NC: (as Sandra) So, what’s wrong with you?
 
NC: (as Sandra) So, what’s wrong with you?
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Father Lamont: I call upon you in the name of Father Lankester Merrin.
 
Father Lamont: I call upon you in the name of Father Lankester Merrin.
   
NC (voiceover): So we see Kokumo—played by James Earl Jones with a locust Muppet on his head—as he tells Burton that if he wants to speak to him, he must test his faith.
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NC (voiceover): So we see Kokumo—played by James Earl Jones with a locust Muppet on his head—as he tells Burtons that if he wants to speak to him, he must test his faith.
   
 
Kokumo: Prove it. Cross over! (Between Lamont and Kokumo is a shallow pool with little sharp spikes) Step out of your despair.
 
Kokumo: Prove it. Cross over! (Between Lamont and Kokumo is a shallow pool with little sharp spikes) Step out of your despair.
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Father Lamont: Did you ever know Father Lankester Merrin?
 
Father Lamont: Did you ever know Father Lankester Merrin?
   
NC (voiceover): Let me guess; we’re just TOTALLY GOING TO IGNORE the fact that he fell on top of a bunch of spikes and James Earl Jones was dressed like the kindergarten production of [[District 9]]!
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NC (voiceover): Let me guess; we’re just TOTALLY GOING TO IGNORE the fact that he fell on top of a bunch of spikes and James Earl Jones was dressed like the kindergarten production of “District 9”!
   
 
Kokumo: Yes!
 
Kokumo: Yes!
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NC (voiceover): So he traveled all this way just to discover what he could in a National Geographic, as Regan decides to run away and try to find him in order to continue their psychic link. And wouldn’t you know it? They happen to meet up.
 
NC (voiceover): So he traveled all this way just to discover what he could in a National Geographic, as Regan decides to run away and try to find him in order to continue their psychic link. And wouldn’t you know it? They happen to meet up.
   
(As Regan and Father Lamont hook up to the biofeedback device, music from “[[Inception]]” plays briefly)
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(As Regan and Father Lamont hook up to the biofeedback device, music from “Inception” plays briefly)
   
 
Father Lamont: (voice only) Not only Kokumo, but others like him, began to appear in the world. Satan has sent Pazuzu to destroy this goodness.
 
Father Lamont: (voice only) Not only Kokumo, but others like him, began to appear in the world. Satan has sent Pazuzu to destroy this goodness.
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NC (voiceover): So Burton literally punches his way to her heart…
 
NC (voiceover): So Burton literally punches his way to her heart…
   
NC: Insert “Kali Ma!” or “Fatality!” joke here. (Images of Mola Ram from [[Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom|''Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'']] and two fighters from the ''Mortal Kombat'' video game are shown on either side of him)
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NC: Insert “Kali Ma!” or “Fatality!” joke here. (Images of Mola Ram from “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” and two fighters from the “Mortal Kombat” video game are shown on either side of him)
   
 
NC (voiceover): …while the Good Regan tries to figure out how to stop the locusts.
 
NC (voiceover): …while the Good Regan tries to figure out how to stop the locusts.
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NC: My God. I think it worked. I think I never have to do Nostalgia-Ween again! (He is grateful) Oh, my God! This is incredible! (He looks up skywards) Oh! Oh, thank you, great spirits! Is there anything I can do to repay you?
 
NC: My God. I think it worked. I think I never have to do Nostalgia-Ween again! (He is grateful) Oh, my God! This is incredible! (He looks up skywards) Oh! Oh, thank you, great spirits! Is there anything I can do to repay you?
   
(A VHS box falls from the top of the screen and lands before NC; cut to the front of the VHS box to reveal the cover for [[Doug's 1st Movie|“Doug’s 1st Movie”]] )
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(A VHS box falls from the top of the screen and lands before NC; cut to the front of the VHS box to reveal the cover for “Doug’s 1st Movie”)
   
 
NC: (revolted) OHHHHH—!
 
NC: (revolted) OHHHHH—!
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THE END
 
THE END
   
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<span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">Channel Awesome Tagline—Regan: I was possessed by a demon.</span>
Channel Awesome Tagline—Regan: I was possessed by a demon.
 
   
 
{{NCscripts}}
 
{{NCscripts}}
 
[[Category:Content]]
 
[[Category:Content]]
 
[[Category:Guides]]
 
[[Category:Guides]]
[[Category:The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts]]
 
[[Category:Nostalgia-Ween]]
 
[[Category:Warner Bros]]
 
[[Category:Transcripts]]
 
[[Category:Nostalgia Critic]]
 
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