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Evil Toons

Evil toons.jpg

Released
February 06, 2012
Running time
20:12
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(Andrew Dickman walks into the living room, holding a box of Fruity Pebbles cereal.)

Andrew: (laughing) Hiring Barney was the best idea ever. (He looks to his right and notices a sheet of paper. He sets the box down and picks up the paper.) What the heck is this? Why, it seems to be pointing east.

(On the paper are written the words "go that way" with an arrow pointing to the right.)

Andrew: Well, I'm not gonna deny a random piece of paper what to do, so...sorry, Fruity Pebbles. I'm off to the east.

(The theme from Indiana Jones plays as Andrew gets up and walks offscreen. A plane flying across the oceans is shown. The route is marked in red, with the destination labeled "Maryland". The scene then transitions to Andrew walking down a hallway. He looks at the paper, then walks off in the direction in which he points. When he approaches a door, he knocks, and Phelous answers it.)

Andrew: Don't -- don't I work for you?

Phelous: It took you long enough. Get in. We need to talk.

(Phelous directs Andrew into the room and closes the door behind him.)

Andrew: Look, is this about that Octopus title card? Because I followed your directions to the letter. And I swear every word that you said... (Phelous shoves a DVD in his face.) What is this?

Phelous: It's a movie I found for you to review.

Andrew: Wait, wait. That's it? You had me walk thousands of miles across the country just to give me something you could've easily mailed me?

Phelous: Look, title card man. You showed me this movie, and then I'm pretending I'm showing you this movie so that we can review it on you old cartoonily doobity doo show.

Andrew: You really do take the magic out of these things, don't you?

Phelous: Okay, okay. If it'll make you feel better, we'll review it together.

Andrew: Really? You wanna do a review together? Oh, yes! Oh, man! You have no idea how awesome this is! I mean, I don't know what this is, but...this is gonna be awesome!

Phelous: Yeah, this is gonna be totally awesome.

(The opening credits for Animated Anarchy roll, and then the scene transitions to the title card. The song "Play with Me" by the Thompson Twins plays in the background. Clips from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Anchors Aweigh, and the trailer for Cool World are shown.)

Andrew (vo): In 1988, the awe-inspiring film of Who Framed Roger Rabbit hit theaters, widening the range of movie magic pitting traditional animation with live action actors. Though this kind of pairing has been seen before, it certainly tended to protect its craft. With its incredible storytelling and rather more mature themed situations certainly broadened the audience to an animated scene.

Phelous (vo): Of course, when something is good, there also has to be some studio out there that completely misses the point and just ends up copying the idea to make a quick buck instead of focusing on, oh, I don't know, the story or something.

(The movie's title card then comes up.)

Andrew (vo): Enter... *groans* Evil Toons, a movie shot in literally eight days using a film crew from another production.

(Cut back to Andrew and Phelous.)

Andrew: So, hey, we're gonna be watching the thrilling 20th Anniversary Edition that came out in 2010.

Phelous: Which is kinda funny, as this movie originally came out in 1992.

Andrew: Yeah. So maybe we'll see the 25th Anniversary Platinum Special Collector's Edition some time next year.

Phelous: You'd better preorder soon, before it goes back in the vault. (vo) We start off with a quote from the director, stating that this movie is based on a true story and everything that happens in it is really true!

(The film opens with a quote from the director, Fred Olen Ray. "The story you are about to see is true. Nothing has been changed. These are the actual people who lived this great adventure and this is exactly the way it really happened. I truly believe this.")

This transcript is incomplete. Please finish.

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