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Elektra

Elektra nc

Release Date
June 24, 2020
Running Time
21:21
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the NC title sequence)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Well, after the massive success of 2003's (poster of...) Daredevil... (He is briefly interrupted by derisive laughter) I know, shh. ...the story just had to continue.

(Footage of Daredevil is shown)

NC (vo): But what do you do when both critics and audiences despise your interpretation of a hero?

NC: (shrugs) Leave the hero out of it.

(Emphasis is now placed on Jennifer Garner's character Elektra Natchios)

NC (vo): I mean, people at the time really seemed to like Jennifer Garner's character. Let's put the spotlight on her– (stops abruptly as he realizes something) Oh, yeah, she was dumbed to death.

NC: Um... did her character in the comic die and magically come back?

(To a ding, the words "ALL COMIC CHARACTERS DO" pop up)

NC: (smiling) Now we're in business!

(The title for Elektra is shown, followed by footage of that movie)

NC (vo): Elektra was released two years later, after the disappointment of Daredevil. Audiences were open to the idea, as the trailer looked good and, again, at the time, there just weren't that many female cinematic comic book heroes. Well, maybe to get a good director behind it, this can be something promising– (Suddenly, the poster for Airborne is superimposed; NC laughs) Oh, fuck! While it barely made its money back overseas, Elektra bombed pretty harsh in America, making 24 million against a 40-million budget, thus ending the Daredevil cinematic universe. Aw, and I was so looking forward to the (Image of Foggy is superimposed) Foggy spinoff. So what killed this hero so bad that even bringing her back from the dead couldn't bring her back from the dead?

NC: Well, hide all your evil sandbags as we take a closer look. This is Elektra.

(The movie begins)

NC (vo): You know you're in trouble when good and evil in this movie are given the incredibly original names... of Good and Evil.

Narrator: A war has been waged between the armies of Good and Evil. The Evil has taken many forms. The Good followed the way of Kimagure.

NC: (as narrator) The people in the middle are known as the Eh.

NC (vo): To their credit, they do name one of the clans on the side of Evil. They're known as The Hand. (A shot of the Foot Soldiers from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is superimposed) And yes, that is what The Foot are satirizing. Though, at times, you might find them more intimidating.

Narrator: Legend tells of a unique warrior to tip the balance between good and evil.

NC: That's literally every legend ever. (The poster for City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold is shown in the corner) The Legend of Curly's Gold is more original!

NC (vo): Cut to a hideout, where an evil baddie is hiding, afraid of what follows him.

DeMarco (Jason Isaacs): You can't stop her. Nobody can stop her. I was afraid if I told you, you wouldn't take the job.

(We have a flashback to Elektra's younger days when she goes after her mother's killer)

NC (vo; as DeMarco): You see, this woman was quickly taken out on her first crime-fighting mission against one man years ago.

NC: Contain your fury! It will only encourage her to die faster!

DeMarco: Her name is Elektra.

Bauer (Mark Houghton): She's an urban legend, sir. That woman died years ago.

NC: (as Bauer) I know it's an urban legend, because what really happened was far more embarrassing!

DeMarco: They say Elektra whispers in your ear before she kills you.

NC: (scratches neck) Well, if she's such a good killer, who would be left alive to say that?

NC (vo): Elektra, played again by Jennifer Garner, does break in, wearing the shadowy camouflage of bright-ass red, and approaches her prey.

Bauer: Are you just coming?

Elektra: That's not that bad.

Bauer: How do you know?

Elektra: (whispering in Bauer's ear) I died once.

NC: Again, (The Daredevil poster is shown in the corner) Daredevil's box office was pretty bad. (nods)

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