Doug: All right, this is the list you guys have been waiting for. These are the Top 10 cliches that drive me crazy. Now, I know there's a lot of cliches that people like. I like, too, and we like seeing them over and over. These are the ones that I personally can't stand seeing. A lot of people do lists about cliches, and I'm not saying these are the worst cliches. These are just the ones that I hate, that I personally despise, I feel they ruin a movie. A lot of these films would be fine if they didn't have these in there. A lot of them keep using all these cliches in one. So, why waste any time? Let's talk about the Top 10 Cliches That I Hate.
#10
Doug (vo): Number 10 -- Calling Women Girls.
[Images of various women in movies are shown]
Doug (vo): We've seen this in Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters, Red Sonja, Superman II.
Doug: To me, "girl" is like birth to high school. College, maybe, you know, a lot of them look like a lot younger, so I can understand. When you're...you're a woman, okay? When you got ta-tas, nice big ta-tas, you are a woman. If you're gonna go out there, you're gonna save the day, you're gonna be strong and stuff, you're not a girl anymore, okay? You're a woman.
#9
Doug (vo): Number 9 -- The Shakey Cam.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): We've seen this in Transformers, in Batman Begins, in Batman Forever, in God knows how many Jerry Bruckheimer productions.
Doug: What's the point? Now here's the thing, if you want it to look realistic, a little shaking is okay.
#8
Doug (vo): Number 8 -- Sucky Credits.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): Again, we've seen this in Batman Forever, we've seen it in Liar Liar, we've seen it in Mrs. Doubtfire.
Doug: We see it in movies that just don't care how they start.
#7
Doug (vo): Number 7 -- Relying Too Much on CGI.
Doug: And we all know the two people (that) have been doing way too much of this: (Pictures of) Lucas and Spielberg; they have been relying way too much on CGI. Now CGI can be used very well, uh, my thought is that it's very good at, making things disappear or, creating worlds or creating atmosphere. Good examples uh...
Doug (vo): ...(Poster for) Sin City, that uh, (Poster for 2003 Peter Pan) that last, film version of Peter Pan or um...
Doug: ...actually even some of the backgrounds in the new Star Wars movies...
(Images of a city in one of the Star Wars Prequels)
Doug (vo): ...look very nice. But...
Doug: ...when, you have to get close ups, when we have to see people there, uh use actual people, use actual things; get the puppets back, get the animatronics, I know it's cheaper but, we know it's not there. Sometimes you can't help it, uh, Transformers; I get, ya have to use the CGI, I understand that. But, for things like, Indiana Jones, what's the best scene in the last Indiana Jones movies, when they were having the chase with the motorcycle. Why, (grits teeth) cuz it was actually happening! It was really there! Um, another example that just...
(Poster for The Polar Express)
Doug (vo): ...the, Robert Zemeckis thing like, this is all he's doing now is making these CGI movies.
Doug: And, at first I was kinda intrigued; I was really sorta blown away by the technology. But, by the time we got to Mars Needs Moms...
(Poster for said movie)
Doug (vo): ...which, thank God bombed, and I think closed down that production.
Doug: Um - I'm sorry people lost their jobs (laughs) - but I, I mean just for the sake of art, uh, that was done that was it because, here's the thing; they try so hard to get people to look, realistic you know, Jim Carrey (in) A Christmas Carol:...
(Poster for said movie)
Doug (vo): ...yeah, you can make his nose long, yeah, it's sorta looks like he's really there.
Doug: Here's a crazy idea: Why not really put him there?! Why not just, have an actor there?! If your gonna go animation, do animation! Y'know make it so that, the eyes can get big or you know someone's jaw can go (simulates jaw dropping) uuuhhh!, you know, or whatever, let the animator, express himself, let animators do what they're supposed to do. With this, you're restricted and I saw this, really in the previews with Mars Needs Moms; you got all these weird visuals going on, and these dull human faces. On these CG puppet bodies and that's what they look like, they don't look alive, they look like puppets. And, animation is not supposed to do that; it's supposed to make something look alive, and oddly enough, having a person in there where you put the little dots on, is too much. So, bottom Iine, I'm not against CGI, all of it, uh i-if you look at some older effects for like Ghostbusters and stuff, some of them look great, some of them, are really dated and, some CG would have helped then but, yeah we rely way too much on it we, we gotta back down man, we gotta, we gotta like do The Lord of the Rings' path where they sort of did it half-and-half. So um, yeah I-I think we really, le-le-let's get some flesh and blood back in there.
#6
Doug (vo): Number 6 -- Overusing the Wide Angle Lens.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): You saw me just talk about this in Baby Geniuses, Danny DeVito does it a lot in his movies. Whenever a movie obviously just has no cinematic creativity, they just go to the super tight wide angle shots.
Doug: And when they first started doing it, it was interesting.
#5
Doug (vo): Number 5 -- The Poetic Singer.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): This is another one I've gone on and on about. You've seen it in Avatar, you've seen it in District 9, you've seen it in Black Hawk Down, you've seen it in Gladiator.
Doug: It's when a big dramatic scene happens, where somebody dies or somebody's remembering something poetic, and you hear that singer, the singer that goes, "Ah, hey-ya, hey-ya, ya-ta-ta-ta, aaaaah." And, oh! Ear poison! It is ear poison! I can't stand it! And every time I hear it, I want to strangle the lady or man who is singing it, it's so obnoxious! I- Mmmm! I-I've talked about this one so much, I don't even want to talk about it that much, I just know whenever there's a pretentious way, If you WANT a movie, to be pretentious, it's just like, Boom! Pretentious! There's no turning back. You get that singer. You get that son of a-daughter of-bitch-person because, that person is a pain. I'm sure, he or she is making great money or it's a couple people doing it, I don't know, but, Shut that person up. Stop using him- her- it.
#4
Doug (vo): Number 4 -- The Whimsical, Innocent, Rebellious, Poet.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): At least half of Robin Williams' movies are this.
Doug: The meek, kind of quirky person who has a heart of gold, but screws up sometimes, but, gosh darn it, he's trying. This has probably come from the 90's Disney films with like Ariel and Belle, and Aladdin and all these characters that dream of more, and want so much more, but they're just so quirky, uh, and in Disney films, that like- they work okay, but but even that's getting overused, uh, in romantic comedies, there's always the woman, and Julia Roberts' movies where, Yeah, she screws up sometimes, she does the wrong thing, but you know what, gosh darn it, she cares! And, uh, the person going up against THE MAN, the big establishment, the rebel, you know, and the-the big bad people who put him down, just because he wanted to dream! And we don't understand! And, you see this with a lot of, uh... movies about, you know, people with special needs and stuff, which you know, I'm not saying, you know, that they don't need special needs, I'm not saying that it's that this has just been done so many times, and it hasn't been done... in... a new way or a way that makes you care, it's a way we've seen a bajillion other times, and I'm just so sick of the stuffy, you know, nnnngh, person who just waves the finger and says, "You don't get it, you don't understand!" and the young rebel says, "Yes, I do, and I'm gonna show you when they go all determine that, yeah, thay make some mistakes, but they come through and wear on there side!" Fuckin' hate those people, Fuckin' hate those movies, Fuckin' hate that cliche. Fuckin' hate it. (Pause) I'm very angry in this video.
#3
Doug (vo): Number 3 -- The Misunderstanding.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): Again, a lot of romances use this. You get this in Shrek, you get this in The Wedding Singer, you get it in 40 Days, 40 Nights.
Doug: It's that scene where that couple, you know, that's been fighting throughout the entire movie trying to prove to you that, "No, they're not gonna fall in love". And then, there's that chance, "Maybe they will." And then, the misunderstanding that has them go to their corners, think they hate each other, and they just mope. They do nothing but moan.
#2
Doug (vo): Number 2 -- The Liar Revealed.
Doug: This is also everywhere.
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): You see it in A Bug's Life, you see it in Rango, you see it in Wedding Crashers.
Doug: It's when a character lies about who he or she really is, which...that's not bad, because that creates comedy, or that creates something interesting, someone who's acting like something they're usually not. That's fine, I have no problem with that, because you can get very creative with that. It's when the people find out who the person really is. Chicken Run did this, too. This is a big thing in kids' films, I realize. Um, they find out who the person really is, and because of that, they don't trust him, they're just like, "Get out of here! We don't need you anymore!" And the person feels bad and walks away sad. Again, kills the movie for, like, 10, 20 minutes. It just stops. And you just get moping. I'm sick of moping when it's not needed!
#1
Doug (vo): And the Number 1 Cliche that drives me totally insane is...The Bully.
Doug: God, where do I start with this?
[Posters and images of various movies are shown]
Doug (vo): It, Let Me In, Wedding Crashers, every Adam Sandler movie.
Doug: These are the bullies that...are not interesting, they're not fun, they're not developed, they're not funny. They're just there as a tool.