Doug: You ever have that movie that you really can't stand but everybody else seems to love? And maybe it's not just one movie, maybe it's a couple of movies, and maybe you suddenly become really famous by doing a stupid Internet show, and maybe everybody judges you by those movies, and they're always like, "Oh! Oh! You can't like that movie! You can't like that movie! No! No! We have to judge you now, because you're a pussy, you're an asshole! And I hate you! I'll never judge you again! YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON I EVER...!!" You get the idea. So, what I'm trying to get across here is that there are movies that I can't stand, they just...they get under my skin, but a lot of other people seem to like them...and that's fine. It's really cool. Don't go around judging people by this, it's not worth it. Just because you like a film or don't like a film doesn't mean you're an idiot or you're not smart or you're a jerk or anything like that. And to prove it, I am going to do the Top 10 films that I can't stand but everybody else seems to enjoy. And if you think, "Oh, that's not fair!", next week, I'm gonna do the Top 10 Films That I Like and Everybody Else Seems to Hate. So, I'm doing this just to show it's all opinion, it doesn't say anything about whether or not you're a good person or a bad person or a smart person or a dumb person. It's just opinion and what you like. To me, what matters is how well you can explain it. So, with that said, I'm gonna explain why these Top 10 films I can't stand, they drive me nuts, but everyone else seems to enjoy them. So, without any further ado, let's get started.
(A drawing of Doug's face is shown as the title is shown. This image will serve as the countdown's interlude)
#10
Doug (vo): Number 10: Cars.
#9
Doug (vo): Number 9: Gladiator.
Doug (vo): I am not a Russell Crowe fan, but that's not why I don't like this movie. I don't like this movie because, again, it's a story that's been done to death. It's the Moses story, the guy on top of the world, betrayed or whatever by someone really close, dragged out to the slumps, has to work his way back up so he can get his righteous revenge and...very, very bland.
Doug: The only thing that's kind of entertaining is Joaquin Phoenix as the villain...
Doug (vo): ...cause he's so over-the-top.
Doug: I think there was one point where he was watching the, you know, them all fight, and he just goes... [Does an over-the-top performance of a guy sticking out his tongue and gargling] Love it. Absolutely love it. Um, but outside of that, it's just your typical bland hero...chops up people and gets the bad guy. And...which I wouldn't mind if the characters were interesting. They're not very interesting. Particularly Crowe.
Doug (vo): He's just the generic good guy. And I always feel bad for Ridley Scott...
Doug: ...because I get the feeling he can make good movies. Like, he tries to give his characters depth, and he tries to add a little more. But he's still picking scripts that are just...it's the bland story. There's nothing meaty to it. He's trying to add meat to, you know, just bare bones, and, which, okay, it's decent challenge, but it doesn't always work. So, but for whatever reason, people really got into it. It does look nice, for the most part. Um, the fight scenes are kind of cool. But if you don't give a crap about them, you know, if you don't give a crap about the people, you don't give a crap about what they're fighting for. So, and when a character dies, you know, you're supposed to feel, "Oh!" And...nothing.
Doug (vo): I mean, I barely felt like I got to know these people. Um, you know, generic, over-the-top villain. Sometimes, a little depth.
Doug: Um, Ridley Scott always seems to be doing that. He'll start to get depth, they'll start to be interesting, and then it just goes into cliche again. So, um, not a fan, definitely don't think it deserved Best Picture, uh, but I really agree with the Oscars anyway. So, um, yeah, so that's my thought on Gladiator.
#8
Doug (vo): Number 8: American Pie.
Doug (vo): Now this movie came out during that gross-out era of comedy that will probably come back again sometime, but hopefully, it will be done better, because this was during There's Something About Mary. That became a huge hit, huge, big groundbreaking gross-out movie.
Doug: Everyone tried to copy it, and...what the movie's trying to copy. What they missed about There's Something About Mary, and American Pie missed as well, is that the comedy does not come from the gross-out humor. That's not what's funny.
#7
Doug (vo): Number 7: Avatar.
Doug (vo): Okay, you've all heard me bitch and moan about this movie. Um, but it's actually pretty low on the list because there's some good things about it. I like the scenery, it's a very nice scenery. Now if you ever look at illustrations, it's nothing new, but it's nice to see it on the big screen.
Doug: I did like the 3D. I thought it was pretty cool.
#6
Doug (vo): Number 6: With Honors.
Doug (vo): I...this is another one of those "Man, I wanna punch this" movie. This movie tries so hard to be that underground, you know, "Oh, if only we'd listen! If only we were aware!" You know, you have Joe Pesci playing this bum, this "incredibly obnoxious, you wanna kick him in the nuts" bum. But, "Oh, he's not bad! He's just misunderstood because we won't listen!"
Doug: No, I know what he is. He is a tool. He is a tool of the movie to make us feel bad for him, so that we can feel like big jerks.
Doug (vo): And Harvard apparently has these programs that go out and help people...
Doug: ...that are homeless and stuff like that, they go out and they help these people, and they never talk about that. The professors are the stereotypical professors...
Doug (vo): ...with the time, the puffed-out shirts...
Doug: [Speaking in a British accent] You have no idea what's going on. [Normal] And I hate that. I hate that they see this bum. I hate that this bum keeps saying, "Oh, boy, oh, boy!" like they're trying to get that catchphrase in your head.
#5
Doug (vo): Number 5: Signs.
Doug (vo): Now, of course, M. Night Shyamalan has become the punchline of directors, pretty much. I mean, his movies, people are just hating them more and more and more.
Doug: But what really shocked me is how many people liked Signs.
#4
Doug (vo): Number 4: Nell.
Doug (vo): This is one of those movies where...you know the only reason it was made was so the main actress could get an Academy Award. She produced it, Jodie Foster produced it, she acts in it. Interesting ideas. The idea's that this mentally-challenged young woman lives in the woods, her mother dies, and she's left out there. And they're wondering should they bring her to a...
Doug: You know, a mental institution, or should they just leave her out there to take care of herself? But she speaks her own language.
#3
Doug (vo): Number 3: Matilda.
Doug (vo): Now here's a funny thing. I originally was gonna do this as a Nostalgia Critic review. People freaked. They're like, "You do not touch that fucking movie, you mother--!"
Doug: This movie must hit a chord with a lot of people because, I mean, there was like an uproar of people that were gonna kill me if I said anything bad about this movie. So I took it off, I didn't want to piss off that many people. Uh, but...I thought this was horrendously awful.
Doug (vo): I mean, just really horrible, mean movie. Again, anyone who knows me knows I'm all for dark movies. I love dark humor, I adore it.
Doug: But there has to be a reason for it.
#2
Doug (vo): Number 2: District 9.
Doug (vo): This is another one people just go nuts when I say I didn't like it. "Why?! How could you not like this? This is an innovative, brand-new! Nobody has done this before!"
Doug: Everybody has done this movie.
#1
Doug (vo): And the Number 1 Movie That I Hate But Everybody Else Seems to Like is...Moulin Rouge.
Doug: Oh, God! Hate this movie! This is up there with one of my Top 10 Least-Favorite Movies.
Doug (vo): Remember what I was saying before about films that think they're saying something really brand-new and innovative but it's been said a bajillion times before and in better ways? This is one of those big movies. This is one where, you know, the message is just, you know, "Follow your heart, be in love" and stuff like that, but they think that by...
Doug: ...putting all these big effects and musical numbers and recycling songs that we heard a bajillion times before, sung badly, is gonna make this somehow new. And it's not...it's not, it's not, it's not! It is... [Sighs] I want to like this movie.