We open with NC watching the show Double Dare eagerly and intently
Marc Summers: On your mark...get ready...Go, stars!
NC: GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
Scenes of families competing on Double Dare are shown as NC cheers
NC: Gogogogogogogogogogogo! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ooohahahahahahahahaha! Oh...ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
NC (voiceover): Double Dare. Good God, talk about a kid's dream come true. Not only were you supposed to get as messy as possible, but you were also supposed to get your brother, your sister, and even your parents messy, all while winning fabulous prizes. If you somehow worked dinosaurs and outer space into it, you would have every kid's equivalent of Heaven.
NC: This show was ingenious, and I mean, ingenious. Double Dare was incredible, like the world's greatest Japanese game show...except nobody dies.
NC (voiceover): With an idea so inspired, you have to wonder how anyone could possibly think it up.
NC: Well, my thought is, it went something like this.
A scene of Marc Summers drinking slime, spitting at another person, and then the two get into a fight with slime
NC (voiceover): And thus, Double Dare was born, the first show that literally taught us "Fuck it, I wanna get dirty."
NC: Now for those of you who don't know the rules of the show, it went something like this:
NC (voiceover): Two teams usually made up of a family of four had to answer a series of questions that were KIND of like Trivial Pursuit for Dummies.
Marc Summers: In Encino Man, what actor plays the caveman?
Cut to a clip of Will Smith in Men in Black
Agent J: Oh, wait, that was on Final Jeopardy last night.
NC (voiceover): If the family doesn't know the answer, they say Dare. If the other family doesn't know the answer, they say Double Dare. And thus the only option left is the physical challenge. Now the physical challenge is what everyone remembers. This is where you have to do something really messy and really sloppy in order to earn extra points. They were always strange, wacky, and incredibly disgusting. And, God, how we loved it.
NC: And part of the fun was just how strange and weird these physical challenges were.
NC (voiceover): I mean, that's got to be the greatest job in the world to come up with those games. Can you imagine what the creative process for this must've been like?
NC: (pretending to smoke a joint) I see...hands! They're...popping balloons that are...filled with jelly. Only their hands aren't attached to...their arms like you and me. They're attached to their...heads.
Guess what the clip is of. Just guess. I dare ya.
NC: I see...bananas! And a little man who's...driving the bananas. And on the bananas you have to put...ice cream and chocolate. Because...they're trying to make a banana split...while DRIVING...the bananas.
NC: ...Anyone in the mood for tacos?
A clip of families making tacos out of family members
NC (voiceover): Now after you go through the physical challenges, the family with the most points gets to go through the obstacle course, and this is by far the best part of the show. You had to go through all these insane contraptions and grab the flag at the end of each one. Some of these obstacles included Inside Out, Down the Hatch, and the Sundae Slide.
NC: Now, unfortunately, they didn't go through with all of the obstacle course selections that they came up with, such as...
Each selection is accompanied by a humorous drawing
NC: Steam Roller of Fun, Slide of Thorns, River of Acid, and probably the most controversial of all, Crucifixion.
Crucified man: AAAAAHHH!!
NC (voiceover): But hey, that's not to say they were all family-friendly. I mean, look at some of these obstacles, they look like medieval tortures created by Bozo the Clown. (Bozo the Clown is shown, with an evil laugh dubbed over) And some of them were just downright cruel. Like, remember trying to find the flag in the Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich? How the fuck are you supposed to find anything in that shit? This was always like the hardest one, and yet it was always like the second obstacle. Half the time, they couldn't even get to the other obstacles 'cause they were too busy looking for that damn flag!
Marc Summers: Sometimes, it can be very amusing.
NC (voiceover): Or how about the near-misses, where the flag just barely slips out of a player's hand?
(That moment is shown)
NC: Oh, come on, you ditz, just give 'em the Porsche.
NC (voiceover): Well, either way, it was fun to watch. But I doubt it was fun to taste. I mean, what IS half of that stuff? For all we know, that could be like toxic waste or something.
Super-imposed words point to a person covered in slime, saying "Radioactive residue," "Blood," "Elephant Splooge."
Marc Summers: One of Mother Nature's favorite little gifts.
NC (voiceover): Whatever it was, it was slippery. I don't know if they waxed the floors with banana peels or what, but people were falling and breaking bones like crazy!
Quick montage of people falling and getting hit, accompanied by painful sound effects
NC: This place is like a lawsuit factory!
NC (voiceover): Now as you may have noticed, the people didn't exactly get a lot of money on this show. I mean, look at this, I think the highest I ever saw it go up to was 700 bucks or something.
NC: That'll barely pay for the dry cleaning!
NC (voiceover): But the point of the show wasn't really to win money, it was just to have fun.
NC: I mean, can you imagine if they DID hand out big money on this show? My guess is there would be a lot more swearing.
He overdubs a scene of some of the challenges, making it seem as if the contestants are swearing, due to their determination
NC (voiceover; as a male contestant): All right, get in there, (bleep)! Get in there! No, no, you're not listening to me! Come on, (bleep)! Get in there! (As a kid contestant) (Bleep-bleep) it! I can't do it! Son of a (bleep)! Mother(bleep)! I just can't do it! (As another male contestant) Keep your head up! Keep your (bleep) head up! God (bleep) (bleep) it! We need that money for Grandma's operation!
Marc Summers: We wouldn't want that to happen now, would we?
NC (voiceover): Actually, some of these people DID take this show very seriously. I mean, look at 'em, some of them don't even crack a smile! Okay, dude, this is not an extreme sport, okay? You're in a salad bowl, for God's sake.
Marc Summers: Well, let me assure you, we are still crazy.
NC: Now the host of this show was probably the greatest game show host that ever walked the face of the planet. Marc Summers.
NC (voiceover): Why is he so great? A couple of reasons. First of all, he has to talk about total nonsense throughout the entire show and make it sound like it's intense TV. I mean, how much can you talk about half of this stuff?
Montage of Marc talking about some of the more bizarre challenges
Marc Summers: Shake that banana tree!/Here, they get the milk on them!/And, yes! They caught one! Now, you need some sausage!/You rolled out of your taco! You gotta get back in your taco!
NC: How many game show hosts are there that can actually, with all seriousness, say "Get back in your taco"?
NC (voiceover): Second, he gets just as into the show as the rest of the audience, screaming and yelling and even getting messy sometimes. Third, and definitely not least, this guy was obsessive-compulsive.
A record scratch is heard
NC: You heard right. Obsessive-compulsive. That means he liked everything clean, neat, and symmetrical. (beat) OH...MY...GOD!
Cut to a reality show showing Marc at his house
NC (voiceover): That is total devotion to your work. I mean, look at all this. They went through his house and moved around a few things, and there he is, down on the floor, straightening the rug, moving the chairs, fixing the curtains. I mean, this is how bad he was.
Marc Summers: OCD is all about compulsive rituals, and mine were about cleanliness and making things symmetrical.
NC: And this guy had to do Double Dare?! The sloppiest and messiest game show that ever aired on TV? Give this man a fucking medal!
NC (voiceover): I'm serious, dude, if you can't find a medal to fit the situation, make one up.
NC: In fact, I'll make one up. Marc Summers, on behalf of children everywhere, I give you the honorary "Dude, You Got Balls" award. You deserved it, man, you deserved it.
We are shown several clips of Marc Summers getting messy on the show
NC (voiceover): I mean, look at this shit that they put him through. Do you even think they knew he had a problem? Nobody did! And yet, he just stuck it through like a true professional.
A shot of a messy Marc Summers with a thought bubble that says "Kill Me!"
NC (voiceover): Actually, it is kinda funny watching this, knowing what we know now. That playful laugh suddenly sounds like a cry for help.
A shot of Marc Summers laughing is contrasted with one where NC imitates the laugh, pretending to hold up his gun to shoot himself and then his other hand stops him
Marc Summers: My mom wanted me to be a doctor!
NC (voiceover): With a great host, a great premise, and a great big load of slime, Double Dare was by far one of the coolest game shows that ever graced the airwaves. It was one of the trademarks that helped make Nickelodeon a household name. (Sings some made-up lyrics to the show's instrumental theme song) Double Dare! Oh, my fucking Jesus, it is Double Dare! The show that always pleases, it is Double Dare! Get drowned in several teases, it is Dou-ble Dare! Oh, my God, it's Double Dare! Adults beware! Double Dare! It gets in your hair! Double Dare! And everywhere, it is Dou-ble Dare! Holy shit, it's Double Dare!
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. (Beat) Balls.
(The end, then we are shown a past clip)
Marc Summers: In Encino Man, what actor plays the caveman?
Contestant: Pauly Shore.
Marc Summers: No, it is not Pauly Shore, this person has talent.
|The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts
||Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way
||Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas
||Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT
||NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play
||Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed
||The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree
||Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker
||The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC)
||The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
||Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Hulk (2003) · Monkeybone · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · Green Lantern · It (2017) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · War of the Commercials · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi
||Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Batman Forever · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Alice Through the Looking Glass · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Jack and Jill · Starship Troopers · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · The Angry Birds Movie · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Mission: Impossible 2 · Doom · Ghostbusters 2 · Freddy Got Fingered · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Sleepwalkers · Van Helsing · Rubber (2010) · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Nutcracker (2010)
||Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X-Men: The Last Stand · Best F(r)iends · Hop · Toonami · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Mary Poppins Returns · Alien 3 · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Kim Possible · Blade II · That Darn Cat · Underworld · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Wall · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Venom · Justice League · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
||Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Dolittle · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Avatar (2009) · Superman Returns · Elektra · Alita: Battle Angel · Battleship · The Lion King (2019) · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Bill & Ted Movies · Playing with Fire · Pokémon Detective Pikachu
||Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review
||NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month