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Dart 1

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'''Linkara:''' ''(as Brockman)'' I am Brockman, owner of a toy company! All shall bow down before me!
 
'''Linkara:''' ''(as Brockman)'' I am Brockman, owner of a toy company! All shall bow down before me!
   
'''Linkara (v/o):''' Careful, lady, he's aiming an invisible gun at you! And so, our comic ends with him proclaiming that he has the solution to this.
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'''Brockman:''' ...''and they're called'' '''VOGUE ATTACK!'''
 
 
'''Linkara:''' ''(as Brockman)'' Witness their ultimate power of teleporting in when I say their name! ''(closes comic and holds it up)'' This comic sucks.
 
 
'''Linkara (v/o):''' Aside from the absolutely dreadful artwork, Dart feels like a side character in ''her own damn miniseries''. The majority of the comic actually focuses on Brockman's toy crap and his inexplicable abuse of an artist ''for seemingly no reason''. When we ''do'' see Dart, it's just for a lame fight scene and a backstory that got retconned by the actual creator of the character. It's bland, it's stupid, and it's poorly drawn. I think the funniest part of all of this is that while the story is centered around toys...
 
 
''(Cut to a shot of the back cover of the comic)''
 
 
'''Linkara (v/o):''' ...the back cover of the comic features an ad for a completely unnecessary toy crossover between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Savage Dragon. ''(reads text)'' "Together, They're the Baddest Force For Good."
 
 
''Spelling/Grammar Errors: 12''
 
 
'''Linkara:''' Next time, we head over to Batman shenanigans for the conclusion of the "Leaves of Grass" three-parter, since marijuana seems like a good idea after ''this'' crap. ''(throws down comic, gets up and leaves)''
 
 
''(End credits roll)''
 
 
''"Hey, I've got an idea – let's focus our superhero miniseries on an abusive, megalomaniacal toy manufacturer instead of the titular heroine!"''
 
 
''Forest Gum – the short-lived Forest [sic] Gump tie-in product.''
 
 
''(Stinger: One panel in the comic shows Mr. Brockman without his mustache for some inexplicable reason)''
 
 
'''Linkara (v/o):''' What the hell happened to his mustache in this panel? Is it actually some interdimensional parasite that can disappear at will?
 
 
''(end)''
 
   
 
{{AT4W}}
 
{{AT4W}}
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