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Crown Royal
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Date Aired
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May 1, 2023
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Running Time
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29:37
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Website
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Intro[]
Todd clears his throat, then puts on a gold chain, sunglasses, and a bucket hat
Todd: RUN, RUN, RUN-DMC!!!
Clip of Run-DMC - "Rock Box"
Run-DMC: For all you sucker MC's perpetratin' a fraud
Todd (VO): Except for the people who literally invented rapping in the '70s, there may be no hip-hop act more influential than Run-DMC.
Footage of Run-DMC performing "Here We Go"
Run-DMC: Then take a count, one, two, three
Jam-Master Jay, Run-DMC
When Joseph "Run" Simmons, Darryl "DMC" McDaniels, and their DJ, Jam-Master Jay, started making music together in the early '80s, they launched a music revolution. They were hip hop's first everything. Hip hop's first superstars, first [brief clip of Run-DMC in a commercial for...] on MTV. [image of Run-DMC on the cover of...] First on the cover of Rolling Stone. First rap act with top 10 hits.
Todd: First rap act with a gold album. First with a platinum album. First with a multi-platinum album.
Clip of Run-DMC - "It's Tricky"
Run-DMC: It's Tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky
Todd (VO): Run-DMC were not an old-school hip hop act, they invented the new-school. Back when hip hop was just a bunch of DJs telling you to throw your hands in the air, Run-DMC redirected the entire course of hip hop with hard, minimalist beats and aggressive rhymes.
Clip of Run-DMC performing "Sucker MC's"
Run-DMC: You a five dollar-boy and I'm a million dollar man
Youse a sucker MC, and you're my fan
Just the basic act of bragging about how good you are at rapping was something they introduced to the world. [clip of...] And with their duet of "Walk This Way" with Aerosmith, they brought hip hop to white America and brought it to new heights. It is impossible to overestimate what they did for rap music. Which is to say, for all culture everywhere.
Todd: But music of all genres can be unkind to its originators.
Clip of Run-DMC - "Run's House"
Todd (VO): Right after Run-DMC peaked in 1986, hip hop began another rapid change. [clip of Public Enemy - "Fight The Power"] With the rise of Rakim, KRS-One and Public Enemy, rap flows started to become more complex. [back to "Run's House"] And though Run-DMC would do their best to keep up, the '90s were not kind to them.
Clip of Run-DMC - "Pause"
Run-DMC: Intro, which means I start it
They had a dramatically failed attempt to get with New Jack Swing at the start of the decade, which made them look, just, absolutely ridiculous.
Run-DMC: Get up, get down, you get yours
Todd (VO): Was there ever a band less suited to bright colors than Run-DMC? [images of...] It's like seeing Johnny Cash [...shot from the "As It Was" video...] dressed like Harry Styles. [clip of Run-DMC - "Down With The King"] They did have a respectable return-to-form in 1993, but business problems at their label would keep them from following it up.
Todd: In the meantime, hip hop just kept evolving.
Montage clips of Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg - "Nothin' but a G Thang"; Wu-Tang Clan - "Protect Ya Neck"; Nas - "It Ain't Hard To Tell"; Tupac and Biggie Smalls freestyling together; Run-DMC live performance
Todd (VO): And after G-Funk, Wu-Tang, Illmatic, Tupac and Biggie, the styles represented by Run-DMC felt more and more like yesterday's news.
Todd: But, as the '90s came to a close, the pendulum started swinging back their way.
Clip of Kid Rock performing at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards
Kid Rock: I'm the king of rock, there is none higher
Sucker MC's should call me sire
Todd (VO): In the late '90s, a new type of music started conquering the charts: rap metal. [clip of Limp Bizkit - "Break Stuff"] And basically every major artist in that genre cited the rhymes and hard rock beats of [clip of the 1999 VMA performance] Run-DMC as a main inspiration. All of a sudden, Run-DMC were cool again. [clip of Run-DMC vs. Jason Nevins - "It's Like That"] A house remix of one of their old songs became a big dance hit. [clip of Run-DMC's NBA intro...] They were in commercials, on the NBA, [...and the 1999 VMA performance] they were on MTV again. And as their label, at last, finished their acquisition by Arista Records, [clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC] Run-DMC was poised to cement their legacy with their newly announced, star-studded upcoming album, Crown Royal. When asked who's the best, y'all should say Run-DMC and Jam-Master Jay! And they were gonna make that happen...
Todd: ...with one of the hottest albums of 1999! [screenshots of MTV articles "Run-D.M.C. Keeps Busy While Album Is Delayed"...] Of the year 2000! [...and "Collaboration-Heavy Run-D.M.C. Comeback LP Delayed Yet Again"] Of the year 2001 - Okay, it was not the smoothest recording in history. It's tricky to rock a rhyme that's right on time.
Clip of Run-DMC ft. Stephan Jenkins - "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): But, after much hype and infinite delays, the album finally arrived in early 2001. And Run-DMC were ready to reclaim their throne and once again become the kings of rock.
Todd: It goes a-one, two, three, hit it!
Run: Yeah, what? Kings! Of! Rock!
Todd: What?
Stephan Jenkins: Alright, never lose your flow
In the end, it's just a rock show
Todd (VO): Okay, is that the guy from Third Eye Blind? The "Semi-Charmed Life" guy? That's the rock guy...
Todd: ...you brought to bring you in touch with nu metal?
Run: Even got chrome on my microphone
Todd (VO): D? Are you just gonna stand there? Say something, say something!
Run: I ain't stupid, y'all outrageous
Actin' like Run can't rock all ages
So don't act like y'all don't know
Guys, you must be illin'.
Todd: Run-DMC tries to get with nu metal and just makes sucker MC's of themselves. This is Trainwreckords.
Trainwreckords intro followed by the album cover for Crown Royal
Kings of Rock[]
Clip of Run-DMC - "King of Rock"
Guard (Calvert DeForest): Hey, this is a rock n' roll museum, you guys don't belong in here. [laughs]
Run-DMC: I'm the king of rock, there is none higher
Todd (VO): In 1985, at the beginning of their video for "King of Rock", Run-DMC are denied entry to a rock n' roll museum, and they storm their way in anyway. [clip of Run-DMC's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction] A few years later, that rock 'n roll museum would exist in real life, and Run-DMC would be admitted as inductees. But by that point, it didn't feel like they had forced the rock establishment to accept them...
Todd: ...so much as rock 'n roll had co-opted them.
Clip of Run-DMC performing live at their peak
Todd (VO): In reality, they were always a little conflicted about appealing to the rock crowd and whether or not crossing over to the white audience was selling out. [behind the scenes clip of "Walk This Way" recording] It's well-known at this point how little they were interested in recording "Walk This Way", they had to be talked into it. [clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC] This is a conflict that would write itself large over the course of the recording of Crown Royal. Which was torn apart over three visions of what the album should be, [image of magazine article about Crown Royal delays] resulting in a debacle that became infamous for seemingly un-ending delays. [image of magazine cover about Run-DMC] Like, here's a big article I found hyping the upcoming album in March of 2000. A good thirteen months before it would hit stores.
Todd: But, as our story begins, things are looking up because they had big names on their side.
Clip from lifetime award event honoring...
Host: The man behind the music, Mr. Clive Davis.
Todd (VO): Joining Arista Records meant joining up with music industry titan Clive Davis. Who, at the time, was on some kind of mission to resurrect everyone's career. [clips of "Smooth" by...] He did amazing things for Santana that year. [...and "It's Not Right but It's Okay" by...] He also did pretty well working a comeback for Whitney Houston. [album cover of Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic by...] He was not able to do much for the artist formerly, and in the future, known as Prince. [clip of Santana accepting a Grammy with Clive Davis] But still, if he could rack up Grammy's for 52-year-old Carlos Santana, imagine what he could do for Run-DMC. [clip of P.O.D. - "Rock the Party (Off The Hook)"] Again, this was at the height of rap rock, which wouldn't exist without them. They had the respect, the wind was at their sails. The entire reason Clive Davis bought their label was so he could have a new Run-DMC album.
Todd: This was great news for Run, who was always trying to keep the band relevant.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): In fact, Run had already started working on the album before the sale went through just to help push it over the line. Pretty quickly, he came out with the album's first song - just a little teaser track that leaked to radio stations.
Todd: And in it, you can see Run's vision for the album pretty clearly.
"The Beginning (No Further Delay)"[]
Clip of Run-DMC performing "The Beginning (No Further Delay)"
Todd: Bounce with me, bounce with me.
Clip of of Jay-Z ft. Amil and Ja Rule - "Can I Get A..."
Jay-Z: Can I get a What! What!
To these chickens from all of my doves
Todd (VO): Okay, so over the years, Run became obsessed with keeping up with the new trends. At the time, he was way into the hot new superstar, Jay-Z. So for this record, Run was jocking Jay-Z's style and his producers all over the place, you can...
Todd: You can hear Hard Knock-era Jay all over this record.
Audio clip of of Run-DMC - "The Beginning (No Further Delay)"
Todd (VO): Anyway, this is the first little taste of the record, a track called "The Beginning".
Todd: Which is just tempting fate, [album cover for The Beginning by...] right, Black Eyed Peas?
Todd (VO): "The Beginning", parentheses "(No Further Delay)". [screenshot of headline "Run-D.M.C. Unfazed by Crown Royal Delays"] A title which will only get funnier and funnier over the next three years.
Todd: By the time the album finally comes out, this song will be re-titled [image of Crown Royal track list with title underlined...] "Simmons Incorporated". And it will be tucked away at the end of the album.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): Anyway, this is a collab with [brief clip of "All I Need" by...] Method Man and... [image of Crown Royal Spotify page] three other guys who weren't even credited originally and I can't find anything about. [zooms in on the name...] Jamel Simmons, is this guy related to Run? I-I don't know.
Back to earlier clip of Run-DMC performing "The Beginning (No Further Delay)"
Run: How the hell you think we livin?
How you think it feel to be a Simmons
Imagine Christmas and Thanksgiving
The verses from Run and Method Man are fine. But the verse from D.M.C. did catch my notice cause... I'm sorry, something about it just does not sound right.
D.M.C.: Crack's in the cradle, coke's in the spoon
Little Boy Blue higher than the moon
Will he- will he want a weapons, will he wanted the wound
I come to school and lay down the rules
Todd (VO): Like, Run is trying so hard to update his sound; D sounds like he hasn't changed a thing since 1988.
Todd: This is the first sign of problems.
Todd (VO): Run, as it turns out, was all about staying relevant with the new styles...
Todd: ...D.M.C. had other plans.
D.M.C.'s Vision[]
Todd (VO): D.M.C. seems like such a badass on stage, but in real life he's, like, a quiet, introverted guy. And he'd been letting Run, who's kind of a loud, stubborn guy, call all the shots. However, in the mid '90s, after shouting at the top of his range for ten years, [behind the scenes clip of D.M.C.] D came down with an incurable throat condition that left him unable to raise his voice very high.
Todd: This would require a complete change in their sound. But D.M.C. was also looking to change his sound anyway.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
D.M.C.: They gotta realize, it's not only D don't sound the same. He's not the same.
Todd (VO): As far as I can tell, D.M.C. thinks that hip hop peaked with Public Enemy and he was just not really into the new stuff. [clips from the 1999 VMAs] In his memoir, D writes about playing the VMAs with Kid Rock, finally getting back on the MTV stage surrounded with the [footage of Britney Spears and Ricky Martin] flavors of the moment and just being over it. [image of D.M.C.'s memoir with a quote talking about...] He writes that these award shows never really honor the true geniuses whose work stands the test of time, like Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, or Eric Clapton.
Todd: I just want us to stop and reflect on how immediately I, in 2023, would be cancelled if I said, "Why were people listening to Britney Spears instead of talented artists like Eric Clapton"?
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): But that's where D.M.C.'s head was. His vision of the album was something more like what [clip of "What's It Like" by...] Everlast, the former rapper from House of Pain, was doing in the late '90s: mixing hip hop with folk and blues. And I also think he thought it would fit his diminished vocal range better.
Todd: How would this work? Well, wait and see.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Run's Vision[]
Todd (VO): So let's skip ahead three years to the album's actual release, and check out the first two songs, which were definitely part of Run's vision for the album.
Todd: And I'll say this: I don't think this album gets off to a terrible start.
Clip of Run-DMC performing "It's Over"
Run: When it comes to the shows that I rock
And the flows that I drop
You know Run kills the mic
Can't forget about the Olds that I got
And the Rolls in the spot
Y'all know I ain't stealed it, right?
Todd (VO): First we have the big hype intro. Jermaine Dupri hypes up the living legends, Run-DMC, and Run raps about how he's a legend who started hip hop and ruled the world in the mid-80s.
Jermaine Dupri: Let me let y’all know somethin'. The first rap group to get on MTV, hard heavy, ya heard me?
Curiously, no D.M.C. on this one.
Todd: Secondly, we have "Queens Day", a collaboration between three of the great rappers from Queens. [brief clips of...] Run, Nas, and Prodigy from Mobb Deep. Nas and Prodigy rap about growing up in Queens.
Nas: A lotta cash made on Hollis Ave.
Fast and change, high roller's was living
Todd: Run raps about how he's a legend who started hip hop and ruled the world in the mid-80s.
Run: Who more legendary than me?
That's what I thought
And if somebody wanna test mine
Yo, watch this, Peter Piper picked peppers
Todd: But Run rocked rhymes!
Run: See, I knew you knew the next line
And I bet you said it, it's been a minute
Todd (VO): Okay, for my money, it's the best song on the album.
Todd: But again, no D.M.C. on this one. Where's D? We're two songs in and he hasn't shown up.
Clip of Run-DMC live performance
D.M.C.: For thine, is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory
Todd (VO): He finally shows up on the third song, the title track, "Crown Royal". Run raps about how he's a legend who started hip hop and ruled the world in the mid-80s.
Run: Your video's number one and that was part of our plan
Went from "Rock Box" to a whole countdown jam
Took rock music, switched it and flipped it and made it raw
Anywhere you played, we played it before in '84
Todd: Mm-hmm, starting to get old.
Todd (VO): But D raps about...
Todd: Actually, he doesn't really rap, he just does the hook.
D.M.C.: The king's a ruler, the ruler rules
The king's a ruler, the ruler rules
The king-the king's a ruler, the ruler rules
Todd: A-Are these even words? The kingz a roola?
Todd (VO): An annoying thing with all Run-DMC albums since the '90s is that they were constantly using the words "King" or "Rock".
Run: Still headlinin', I'm the king
This album is no exception. But why doesn't D.M.C. have any verses? This is weird, right? Was he really that checked out that he could only contribute a couple words?
Todd: Well, we'll get to his songs in a second.
The Boss' Vision[]
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): But now we get to the third vision for this album. And it is not from their third member, Jam-Master Jay, who was pretty on-board with Run.
Todd: Instead, the third vision was from their boss.
Clip of interview with...
Todd (VO): Clive Davis' vision for the album was basically the same one he gave Santana: load the album with guest stars. [clip showing Crown Royal's features] And as you can tell by the huge number of features we've already had, Run was pretty down with that. [back to the interview with...] But Clive listened to the first draft and he said, "I cannot sell a Run-DMC album that's purely hip hop. I need you to go back and make it more rock."
Todd: And what the boss says goes. And so was brought in the man, the myth, the legend...
Clip of Limp Bizkit - "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)"
Fred Durst: All right, partner
Keep on rollin', baby
Todd (VO): Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst appears on the song [clip from Behind The Music: Run-DMC] "Them Girls".
Fred: Them girls, them girls, them girls I do adore
I like 'em sweet or fine, a genuine divine
All kinds, I love 'em all
Todd: No, that's not a Jay-Z sample, that comes from an...
Clip of Jay-Z - "Girls, Girls, Girls"
Todd (VO): ...old-school rap song that Fred actually got to before Jay-Z did.
Biz Markie: Girls, I do adore
Todd: The more you know.
Fred: I like the small girls, I like the tall girls
I like all the girls, bustin' dirty call girls
Todd: Okay.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): It's easy to clown on Fred Durst now. But you have to understand, this is the early 2000s.
Todd: When it was even easier to clown on Fred Durst.
Clip of recent Limp Bizkit live performance with Fred in his late 50s
Todd (VO): He's a cuddly old man now, people seem to like him more these days. [clip of "Rollin'"] But even when he was big, he was always kind of embarrassing. [clip of live performance from...] The thing about Run-DMC is that they always demanded respect. [brief clip of "Rollin'"] And Fred Durst was just so easy to disrespect. [back to...] Run-DMC were teenagers when they started, but they were already men. And [brief clip of Limp Bizkit - "Nookie"] Fred Durst is a boy.
Todd: So this team-up makes no sense. [image of...] In the Run-DMC biography, Raising Hell, which is where I'm getting a lot of this information from, [clip of news story about...] Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys talks about how he made the beat for this song. [back to Todd] And then took his name off of it when he found out Fred Durst would be the feature.
Fred: Let's bring the girls in
And their girlfriends, but don't let the squirrels in
As for their boyfriends, they'll find joy when
Their girlfriends come home and bring Limp Bizkit toys in
Todd: Yeah okay, the thought of Limp Bizkit sex toys is too horrifying for words.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): I don't wanna hear Fred Durst rap about banging chicks. And honestly, I don't wanna hear Run-DMC rap about it, either.
Todd: Although, I guess I got my wish, because...
Todd (VO): You know, since Run had found Jesus and was now Reverend Run and everything...
Todd: ...he doesn't.
Run: Me, the MC that don't get played
Girls come check in but they don't get paid
They might get naked but they don't get laid
Todd: If you're too godly to rap about this kinda thing Rev, then don't!
Fred: Them girls, them girls, them girls, them girls
Them girls, them girls, them girls, them girls
[Todd is exasperated] Them girls, them girls
Them girls, them girls, them girls, them girls
Todd (VO): I have not edited this song...
Todd: ...one bit.
Todd (VO): And of course, if we're going to go rap rock...
Todd: ...then we gotta bring in the guy who brought Run-DMC back into the conversation.
The Kid of Rock[]
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Jam-Master Jay: If Run-DMC and Aerosmith had a baby, his name would be Kid Rock.
Audio clip of Run-DMC ft. Kid Rock - "The School of Old" over their VMA performance
Run: Now the things I do make me a star
And you can be too if you know who you are
Kid Rock: Like a Brougham on the corner, big boy in a car
Be the Kid in Kid Rock, with the ba-wit-da-ba
Todd (VO): So the other track is called "The School of Old".
Todd: By the American Badass himself.
Todd (VO): Yeah, Kid Rock has so much of this song that it's basically his song and Run-DMC is the feature.
Kid Rock: You wanna battle Kid Rock, bitch don't bother
Like, it's a Kid Rock song. With a verse from Run about how he's a legend who started hip hop and ruled the world in the mid-'80s.
Run: Thirty-million records worldwide we sold
Darryl Mack, JMJ, and my name is Joe
Todd (VO): Okay, I realize we're all hearing this...
Todd: ...twenty years later.
Clip of Kid Rock ft. Monster Truck - "Don't Tell Me How To Live"
Todd (VO): And Kid Rock's presence puts the stink of unwashed scrotum all over this. But purely on a commercial level...
Todd: ...I think Clive's instincts were correct.
Clip of "King of Rock"
Todd (VO): Around the turn of the millennium, Run-DMC's classic stuff had more in common with rap metal than it did with modern hip hop. [clip from the 1999 VMAs] I remember Kid Rock pulling out Run-DMC at the VMAs, I thought that shit was super cool.
Todd: I think Kid Rock's fans were more likely to buy a Run-DMC album than Jay-Z's.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): So either of these songs would've worked as singles. [image of newspaper story about Crown Royal's delay] But Y2K came and went without either of these songs or the album coming out. And the reason why is that neither Fred Durst nor Kid Rock's managers would let it happen.
Todd: According to the Raising Hell biography, even Durst was confused.
Clip of interview with Fred Durst
Todd (VO): Like, "What? But I'm the vice president of my own label. What do you mean my manager won't let you use the record?"
Todd: It took a full year to get it all done. And even then, none of these songs wound up as the single.
Clip of Limp Bizkit live performance at their peak
Todd (VO): Perhaps Fred Durst and Kid Rock's people were trying to keep them from getting overexposed, that happens sometimes.
Todd: Or maybe their management realized that they should keep their distance, because they sensed a massive bomb in the making. Cause I don't know if you've noticed from the clips I've played, but have you noticed something missing!?
Where's D!?[]
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Jay: Where's D, where's D, where's D, where's D, where's D?
Todd (VO): Yeah, where's D!? Where's D.M.C.!? [image of "Where's Waldo?" book with the face of...] Where's Darryl?
Russell Simmons: D laid his vocals on the songs he liked, and some songs he just wasn't inspired to rap on.
Okay, pretty much everyone acknowledged...
Todd: ...that D.M.C. had decided to step back a little.
Todd (VO): Now in one of the pre-release interviews, Jam-Master Jay said, [image of the article] "D is not as vocal as usual. He's there, though. His vibe is there, enough to make it ill."
Todd: Alright yes, he's obviously not doing as much as he used to. But he's got the vibe, right? So fine, why don't we finally, finally get to one of D.M.C.'s tracks. Here is what D recorded for the album...
Black screen, followed by crickets and the text "(nothing)"
Todd (VO): Nothing! I was lying the entire time.
Todd: He did not record a word!
Russell: D laid his vocals on the songs he liked.
Todd (VO): Yeah, he only rapped on the songs he liked, which was none of them. D.M.C. saw the whole thing as a soulless, artless cash-grab and he was not interested in it whatsoever. He wanted to make his folk-rap album. And Run wasn't interested in his ideas either, so D just straight walked out. Run and Jay kept working on the album assuming he would come around, but he never did. So D recorded literally nothing.
Todd: Call this record the...
Todd (VO): ...Minnesota Vikings, cause it has no D whatsoever.
Todd: But Todd, you've played us songs with him on it, I heard him. Well guess what, he didn't record that for this album.
Todd (VO): I mean, I'm not 100% sure on this because everyone was lying so much about D's involvement. But I'm pretty confident that...
Todd: ...every time you hear his voice, that's a sample from the '80s. That's why...
Todd (VO): ...his one verse sounds so out-of-date.
Todd: They straight-up...
Clip of BTS footage from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker showing how previously filmed scenes of the late Carrie Fisher were used to film her role in the movie.
Todd (VO): ...Carrie Fisher in Rise of Skywalker'd him into this record.
Todd: And they had so little to work with that they could only do it for a couple songs.
Image of 2-star Crown Royal review in a newspaper
Todd (VO): This doomed the album immediately before it even came out. [clip of live performance from...] Run-DMC was not two separate guys, it was a group. Most rap groups [clip of A Tribe Called Quest - "Scenario"] the way it works is one guy does his verse, then the next guy does his.
Todd: But Run-DMC did not operate like that.
Clip of "It's Tricky"
Todd (VO): They would trade rhymes, finish each other's lines, they played off each other. You remove one of them and you don't have Run-DMC. You don't even have half of Run-DMC, you have nothing!
Todd: You can hear at the end of lines where Run should be handing the mic off to Darryl. But instead, there's no one there.
Clip from The Richard Pryor Show
Todd (VO): It sounds like that old sketch where The Pips perform without Gladys Knight.
The Pips: Leaving on the midnight train
Pans to the empty mic stand and the audience laughs
Todd: And so, here we are, it is now 2001. The album's been delayed for two years. D.M.C. can't rap.
Clip of "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): They had to beg him just to let them use the name, but it is finally coming out. And here is how Run-DMC meets the nu metal moment.
Todd: Not with Fred Durst, not with Kid Rock.
"Rock Show"[]
Run: Kings! Of! Rock!
Todd (VO): They have gone through their list of contacts, and finally found a guy willing to be seen with them in public.
Todd: Ladies and gentlemen, the lead single, "Rock Show". Featuring...
Clip of Third Eye Blind - "Jumper"
Stephan: I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
[Todd shrugs] You could cut ties
Clip of "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): I have no idea how to evaluate this song.
Todd: I just can't focus on anything except that their big feature was Stephan Jenkins from Third Eye Blind!
Stephan: Alright, never lose your flow
In the end, it's just a rock show
Todd (VO): Just a rock show! Rockin' it up!
Todd: I'm from Third Eye Blind, rock 'n roll!
Todd (VO): Look, I love Third Eye Blind. I can sing every word of "Semi-Charmed Life" with my eyes closed. But if you're trying to get your nu metal on, this is not the guy.
Todd: Third Eye Blind were not cool, they were a pop-rock act your mom could listen to. And they were not even an especially popular mom-rock band!
Clip of Third Eye Blind - "Deep Inside of You"
Todd (VO): After an underwhelming second album, they were rapidly cooling off. [clip of "Rock Show"] Run-DMC had to have been turned down by fifty other guys first, because no one knew or cared who this guy was.
Todd: Like, here they are being introduced at a halftime show appearance.
Clip of live footage from a football broadcast
Jim Nantz: And coming up, recording stars Jam-Master Jay and Run of Run-DMC with Stephan Jenkins of Third Blind Eye will perform.
Todd: See? No one cares!
Clip of "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): And it's even worse that they have D.M.C. there, just... clearly not wanting to be. And they couldn't even think of a way to hide how little he has to do. He's just standing there!
D.M.C. is just standing still and nodding with a pissed look on his face
Run: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yep.
Todd: Not rapping today.
D.M.C. continues to stand still and nod as "The Lazy Song" starts playing
Bruno Mars: Today I don't feel like doing anything
Todd (VO): And Run starts quoting "It Takes Two" by Rob Base.
Run: I wanna rock right now
DJ Run and I'm claiming my crown
I be internationally known
Even got chrome on my microphone
Todd: That's so cheap, that's Black Eyed Peas shit.
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): It's not even the worst idea for a feature on the album. They got Third Eye Blind, they also got...Sugar Ray?!
Clip of Sugar Ray - "Every Morning"
Sugar Ray: Every morning there's a halo hangin' from the corner
Todd: I guarantee, we were this close...
Clip of "All Star" by...
Todd (VO): ...to a Smash Mouth feature.
Todd: [performs the intro to "All Star" in the style of Run-DMC] Yo, some-BODY! Once-TOLD ME!
Audio clip of Run-DMC ft. Sugar Ray - "Here We Go 2001"
Run: Sugar Ray and Run-DMC!
Todd (VO): The Sugar Ray song, by the way, was a straight-up remake of an old Run-DMC song.
Run-DMC: D.M.C. and DJ Run
Dum-diddy-dum diddy-diddy-dum-dum
And their managers also wouldn't clear it as a single.
Todd: Just pie-in-the-face after another, which probably explains how we ended up with the "Semi-Charmed Life" guy.
Clip of "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): I don't know, I guess Rob Thomas didn't make sense for Santana either and that worked. But this sure doesn't, Third Eye Blind didn't write metal songs for a reason.
Stephan: In the end, it's just a rock show
Todd: [shrugs] It's just a rock show. What kinda hook is that?
Stephan: You can't touch this, you can't touch this
Todd (VO): Both rock and rap stations obviously rejected this completely, so they tried a different tactic with their second single.
"Let's Stay Together"[]
Clip of Run-DMC ft. Jagged Edge - "Let's Stay Together (Together Forever)"
Jagged Edge: (Let's stay together) D.M.C., my man
This is a collaboration with the R&B group Jagged Edge called "Let's Stay Together" parentheses "(Together Forever)", and it's a love song of sorts. It samples "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green, Run does a verse about how him and D.M.C. should stay rapping together forever.
Run: Been down since day one and no matter where I go
People wanna see you next to me, they say "What's up with D?"
Todd (VO): Yeah, that seems a little manipulative to me. It's like buying your wife jewelry when you're already in the doghouse.
Todd: Darryl was not impressed.
Run: Can't touch my love for my wife
Baby I ain't going nowhere
Todd (VO): And the second verse is to his wife, which... I think it's weird to dedicate one verse to a rap partner and another to your wife. Anyway, this at least gives D something to do in the video and look not so much like a non-participant. Even though that's basically what he is.
Jagged Edge: Let's (Let's), let's stay together
It's a song where the sample is doing most of the work. And that song flopped too.
Todd: And so we come to the end of the road.
Clip of Run-DMC live performance
Todd (VO): The label was preparing a third single; they ended up just cutting their losses. But I have saved it...
Todd: ...for you for last.
Take the (Money?) and Run[]
Clip of...
Todd (VO): Remember how good "Walk This Way" was? Well, why don't we do...
Todd: ...another rock cover?
Clip of the Steve Miller Band performing "Take the Money and Run"
Steve Miller Band: Go on, take the money and run
Todd (VO): "Take The Money And Run" is a classic rock staple from the Steve Miller Band, and it infamously has some of the worst rhymes ever written. [image of "Take The Money And Run" lyrics] Particularly in the second verse, where he rhymes "Texas," "facts is", "justice", and "taxes".
Todd: Run has apparently taken the spirit of the song to heart.
Clip of Run-DMC live performance
Run: Let me tell you bout what I love in Gina
Love is like no other couldn't get in between ha
Always stayed fly man I wished that you seen ha
Said they had a scheme but nobody believed ha
Todd: This is humiliating.
Run: Butter and Gina moved to Pensacola
Spoonie got a Roley and a Motorola
Todd (VO): It's just painful to hear him doing these super goofy rhymes. You're the kings of rock, you invented rhyming!
Todd: These sound like the lyrics that Anthony Kiedis threw out!
Clip of live performance from...
Todd (VO): Oh, and the feature here is Everlast, who showed up to sing one line over and over again.
Everlast: C'mon on, take the money and run
Is what I say, c'mon on, take the money and run
Todd (VO): And boy, is this not in his range. He's a gruff blues singer; this is a pop song. [clip of the Steve Miller Band performance] It's a fun goofy little Seventies pop song.
Todd: You should've gotten the Third Eye Blind guy for this!
Could It Have Worked?[]
Clip of "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): The Run-DMC album with no D.M.C. on it had been getting bad buzz for two years. So by the time it dropped, both critics and fans tore it to shreds. [clip of interview with...] By that point, Clive Davis was long gone from Arista Records, possibly because he spent $12 million dollars on a broken band.
Todd: But could this album have ever been a success?
Clip of "Rock Show"
Todd (VO): Maybe commercially, if they'd gotten D.M.C. to record something. But could it have been good? Probably not. Even if D.M.C. had wanted to do the classic style, he couldn't anymore.
Todd: Maybe they could've split it, Speakerboxxx/Love Below-style.
Todd (VO): But even then, you've got one half that's a glorified tribute album, and another half that's...
Todd: Well, Darryl did eventually drop that solo album, and you can hear what that would've been like.
Clip of D.M.C. ft. Sarah McLachlan - "Just Like Me"
D.M.C.: But I think about my life and everything is okay
I gotta pave the way to a brighter day
Cause it's really plain and simple when it came to me
There's a lot of people just like me (Like me)
Sarah McLachlan: And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
Todd: This is a tiny bit whack.
Outro[]
Clip of Behind The Music: Run-DMC
Todd (VO): Run and D.M.C. made a kind of reconciliation and talked about making a real record this time. But [clip of news story about the death of...] when Jam-Master Jay was murdered the year after, that pretty much ended that. [clip of Run-DMC live performance] The duo still toured for the next two decades until their last show last year. But functionally, the band was over, and that's a real shame. These guys are legends, and they deserve to go out on a better note than this. [clip of "Rock Show"] Crown Royal is a trend-riding failure that completely misunderstood why the band was successful and it will go down in history as one of hip hop's great flaming disasters.
Todd: It's like that, and that's the way it is. Peace.
Video for "Rock Show" ends
Sponsor[]
Todd: Well, that was fun. [takes off the hat, chain, and sunglasses] And if you want some content about a long-delayed project from the early 2000s that was actually good. My friend Lindsay Ellis has made a video about...
Trailer for "How They Adapted Lord of the Rings (the good one)"
Todd (VO): ...how they finally adapted the Lord of the Rings books into a watchable series of movies. And you can watch that exclusively on [ad for...] Nebula. A creator-specific platform where you can watch great videos from other creators like Hbomberguy, Adam Neely, and myself. And now, if you sign up with my link, you get free access to Nebula Classes, where our creators host classes on how to be... a creator. You will not only get access to all of the great stuff Nebula offers plus Classes.
Todd: But you will get it for a little over 2 dollars and 50 cents a month. And you'd also be directly supporting me, which... You know, I'd appreciate it.
Todd (VO): So click the link in the description and check it out below.
Todd: Thank you for listening and goodnight.
Closing Tag Song: Todd plays "Rock Show" on the piano
THE END
"Crown Royal" is owned by Arista Records
This video is owned by me
THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!!