Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. And welcome to another edition of WTR, a.k.a... Was That Real?
(The title card of WTR is shown. It then cuts to clips from shows like Dumb and Dumber, Dog City, Star Wars: Ewoks and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)
NC (vo): This is where we look at TV shows that may be forgotten by some, but remembered by others for just how strange they were.
NC: With that said, have you ever wanted to see a show about cowboys that were actually cows? Of course not, that sounds like the plot to a Happy Meal commercial. But they did it in The Cowboys of Moo Mesa.
(The title of said series is shown, and then the clips)
NC (vo): For an idea that sounds like dead hamburger on arrival, there was something that strangely drew a lot of kids to it. And it shouldn't! It's an awful idea. They sound like rejected villains from the Ninja Turtle toy lineup. Actually, that's kind of what they were. Their creator, Ryan Brown was a big part of designing several Ninja Turtle toys. In fact, The Cowboys of Moo Mesa even make a few appearances in other Ninja Turtles projects. Now chances are it was a similar setup as the turtles...
(A photo of a Cowboys of Moo Mesa action figure is shown.)
NC (vo): ...with the toys being made at the same time as the show, as they rarely looked much like the original characters. (A shot of a Terrorbull action figure is shown with different colored fur than in the show.) But the strange thing is, I never knew anyone who played with the toys or even admitted to watching the show. It was just kind of a strange thing to confess to. But a lot of kids must have watched it because it got renewed for another season. Granted, that's only two in total, but for a kids show back then, that was still pretty impressive.
NC: So why did the hell did so many of us watch it when we so easily could just change the channel?
NC (vo): Well first of all, it had a surprisingly badass theme song. I'm usually not a country person, but this song was actually kinda fun.
Singer: ♪ Up on the Mesa! ♪
NC (vo): Even the opening sucks you in pretty fast. A flaming comet, a mountain exploding from the ground, cowboys on horses with lightning striking, but you tell me if you can make any sense of what they're trying to explain here.
Singer: ♪ Comet raised the Mesa to the Western skies with the sound of a thousand cattle drives / A chosen few would see the light. ♪
NC: What the fuck does any of that mean?
NC (vo): What does that have to do with bulls on horses? There's a comet at the beginning of time, it crashed into Earth, fucking cows! Makes sense to me.
NC: Maybe this was like The Flying Spaghetti Monster's first draft.
NC (vo): Another thing that might grab your attention is the "Cow" in "Cowboy" is actually an abbreviation. For what, you may ask?
Marshal Moo Montana: Like it says in The Code of the West. (x6) The Code of the West says... (x3)
NC (vo): Enough! Okay, apart from this line being repeated as much as "With great power comes shut the fuck up, we've heard it a million times", why the hell do they need an abbreviation for cowboys? They're fucking cows! Isn't that the whole idea? Is the thought that the real cowboys of the West were outlaws and these are lawmen, so it wouldn't technically be correct? We're watching a show about fucking cows! Nobody's gonna care about the historical accuracy!
Marshall Moo: As the Code of the West says...
NC (vo): Oh, shut up! Who the hell even wrote the Code of the West? Is it like the Declaration of Moo-Dependence? Is it to separate the cows to ride on horses and the cows who are actually roped and branded? Yeah, there's actual cows and bull that they heard in a cattle drive! So what the fuck is going on here? The most I can gather is from this one line.
Cowlorado Kid: ♪ Since the comet done come down ♪
Dakota Dude: ♪ And raised Moo Mesa from the ground ♪
All: ♪ We walk talk'n right like all the rest ♪
NC (vo): So the comet caused an evolutionary shift so that some cows and horses are people while others can be ridden and most likely eaten like other animal- They're fucking goddamn cows! Why am I thinking so hard about this? With all that said, you think this show would be really painful to watch, and while it was really corny, there was also kind of a bizarre creativity and energy to it that for a kid's show in that time period, didn't make it that bad. It centers around our lawmen; Moo Montana, the Dakota Dude and the Cowlorado Kid looking after a town full of other pun names like Lily Bovine, Cody Calf and Cowlamity Kate. The mayor of the town, Oscar Bulloney...
NC: Just stick with it.
NC (vo):...is in cahoots with another villain named Sheriff Terrorbull...
NC: Trust me! Just stick with it!
NC (vo):...who terrorizes the town as the Masked Bull, stealing money and hatching up schemes to get the corrupt mayor more moo-lah. First off, it's nice that there's a kids show that's actually a Western again. They used to be everywhere a long time ago, but then they kinda went out of style. So even if it had to come back in such a strange way, it was kind of nice to see. But one of the reasons Western kids shows aren't seen as much is the heroes oftentimes had to use guns, which in PC times, is very frowned upon.
NC: Their way around it?
NC (vo): They don't use bullets. Yeah, their ammo actually all uniquely connects to their personalities. For example, the Marshall shoots golden stars, the sheriff shoots a whip, and the gamblers shoot poker items. It makes as little sense as anything else, but again, it was kind of creative.
NC: But connected to their personality traits leads to another strength of the show, their personalities.
NC (vo): Yeah, a lot of them are cutouts; but, even as cutouts go, they were kind of entertaining. The Dakota Dude was funny in his minimal dialogue.
Marshall Moo: He appreciates a lady who could teach him something.
Marshall Moo: Like his old school charm...
Marshall Moo: Taught him everything he knows.
Dude: Sure did.
NC (vo): Cowlamity Kate was a cool cowgirl with a dictionary of weird insults.
Cowlamity Kate: You spat hoof side winder! / Drop whispered spiky pants son of a gun!
NC (vo): The mayor was a lot of fun in how politically corrupt he was.
Mayor: Lose something, Cowlamity Kate? Like maybe, uh, everything you own?
NC (vo): And even the kid! As kid characters went back then, he wasn't really that annoying.
Marshall Moo: A sleepin' deputy can't avoid bad dreams.
Cody: Uh, I'll write that down.
Marshall Moo: It's deep, son.
(Photos of Penny from The Rescuers, the Brady Bunch kids, young Anakin Skywalker and one of the Olsen twins from Full House are shown.)
NC (vo): Most kid characters are asking to be shot out of a cancer-filled cannon, but this one was actually pretty tolerable. Okay, not Gosalyn good, but not Short Round annoying. Though am I the only one who swears Cowlamity's his mother? There is way too much a resemblance there.
Cowlamity Kate: I ain't waitin' for no bull on a white horse.
NC (vo): It also taught a kids a very unique lesson, that being, don't always trust authority. They never got enough evidence to put the sheriff or the mayor away, but they never gave up in trying to stop their schemes and fighting for what's right. It wasn't anti-law as obviously our heroes are on the side of the law, but...it wasn't saying "blindly trust your government" either. It's kind of rare you see a show for kids that says "don't always trust the law". I actually kind is admire it for that. There's a lot of action, a lot of jokes, a lot of good voice acting. (as Tim Curry) Did someone say Tim Curry?
Jacque Le Beef: And who is this lovely mademoiselle, whose beauty makes the the sun's rays pale?
NC (vo): For a lighthearted bit of fun, it was exactly that, a bit of fun.
(Cut to Dakota Dude and Cowlorado Kid watching someone falling.)
Cowlorado Kid: Looks like they might hit ground in Moist Grass Meadow, don't it?
(Character screams and crashes offscreen.)
Dakota Dude: Oh, Cactus Canyon.
NC: So if the show was surprisingly decent, how come we lost interest in only two seasons?
NC (vo): I can only guess, but my thought is the second season got a little too silly, even for an idea that was already silly to begin with. On top of the animation looking like it got a budget cut, there was a bigger focus to introduce more villains, and it started to become overload. Most of them looked like they were made not to have interesting personalities, but instead probably sell more toys. And given the time period this came up, that seems more likely. But, for the first season, this was actually an okay show...eh,again, for kids, there's not too much in it for the parents. Imagine something not quite as good as the Disney Afternoon, but kind of the same vain. It's cute, innocent and didn't seem half-assed. They tried to make the best of what seemed like a limiting idea, and for what we got, it was kinda entertaining. Okay, I'm not gonna demand it return to TV or anything, but it was a fun, if not strange, little show that left a fond mark in our memories. It's definitely worth getting roped into.
Singer: ♫ On Moo Mesa! Living by the law and the Code of the West! On Moo Mesa!
NC: Plus, it made for a very entertaining arcade game. (beat) Called The Simpsons.
(Shows footage of The Simpsons arcade game.)
NC: Oh, come on! How can you die in a dream!? I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it you don't have to. (continues talking as he gets up to leave) That part never made sense to me. Marshall Moo would be furious.
|The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts
||Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way
||Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas
||Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT
||NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play
||Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed
||The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree
||Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker
||The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC)
||The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
||Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Hulk (2003) · Monkeybone · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · Green Lantern · It (2017) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · War of the Commercials · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi
||Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Batman Forever · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Alice Through the Looking Glass · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Jack and Jill · Starship Troopers · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · The Angry Birds Movie · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Mission: Impossible 2 · Doom · Ghostbusters 2 · Freddy Got Fingered · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Sleepwalkers · Van Helsing · Rubber (2010) · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Nutcracker (2010)
||Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X-Men: The Last Stand · Best F(r)iends · Hop · Toonami · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Mary Poppins Returns · Alien 3 · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Kim Possible · Blade II · That Darn Cat · Underworld · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Wall · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Venom · Justice League · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
||Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Dolittle · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Avatar (2009) · Superman Returns · Elektra · Alita: Battle Angel · Battleship · The Lion King (2019) · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Bill & Ted Movies · Playing with Fire · Pokémon Detective Pikachu · X-Men: Apocalypse · The Stand · Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark · Curse of the Commercials · Sucker Punch · The Muppet Christmas Carol · Batman Returns · Home Alone 4
||Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review
||NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month