Cool World

Cool World
Released	February 21st, 2017
Running time	29:06
Previous review	Why Do So Many Sequels Suck?
Next Review	TBA
Link	http://channelawesome.com/cool-world-nostalgia-critic/

(The title sequence is shown (but is still the same as 2016), then open on the NC)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Let's talk about Ralph Bakshi.

(Cut to a shot of Bakshi)

NC (vo): From the '60s to the '80s, he was one of the few animation directors that insisted animation shouldn't just be for kids. In fact, some should be explicitly for adults.

(Cut to clips of some of Bakshi's work, such as Fritz the Cat, Heavy Traffic, Lord of the Rings, and Wizards)

NC (vo): This resulted in him making films that often gained critical and even box office success. Most of the time, these movies were weird, political, raunchy, and usually in bad taste. Bakshi himself also gained a reputation as being weird, political, raunchy, and usually in bad taste, usually splitting people's opinion of it. Some say he's a genius, others say he's mad, I say he's a mad genius.

NC: Yes, the madness can overshadow the genius, but the genius can also overshadow the madness. And since his passing recently, I figure it only makes sense to look at his greatest work, American Pop.

(Briefly cut to the title for American Pop)

NC: So, in loving memory of one our greatest animation legends, I give you– (suddenly, his phone rings and he answers it) Hello?... He's not dead? Oh. I coulda swore I heard that somewhere... What? (his eyes widen in shock) He's coming over here? (suddenly alarmed) OH, HELL NO, YOU KEEP THAT LOON AWAY FROM ME!!

(But it's too late: he hears an explosion and looks over toward the front door to see Ralph Bakshi himself (played by Rob) standing there)

Bakshi: You lazy asshole!

(He walks up to the NC and tries to swat and grab at him)

NC: (sputtering) Ow! (pushing Bakshi away) Stop it, stop it!

Bakshi: (as he speaks (in a lisp), various bits of Bakshi-type animations appear) You need to fight the crypto-fascist system of the Man... by throwing big-titted ladies in blackface waving around bananas... yeah, which represent our economic downfall!

NC: What the hell are you talking about?

Bakshi: I'm talking about... ah... (holding up a deranged-looking puppy) Here, have a puppy!

(Bakshi throws the puppy at the NC)

NC: (being hit with the puppy) Ow! (Bakshi walks up and slaps NC on the back) OW! Look, I kinda thought you weren't alive, meaning I could praise your genius without having to actually deal with you.

Bakshi: Stop sucking my cock, Critic, and talk about something really interesting.

NC: Like what?

Bakshi: Like the last feature film I ever mades [sic], Cool World!

(Cut to footage of Cool World)

NC (vo): Wait a minute, I thought that was one of your biggest cinematic disasters. It was critically panned, bombed like crazy, it didn't even really get a big cult following like your other films.

(Cut back to the NC and Bakshi)

Bakshi: Yeah, but, Critic, it's important to understand your failures. Isn't that what that show is about?

(Cut to more footage of Cool World)

Bakshi (vo): Through recognizing our mistakes and missteps, we can discover how not to fall into the same traps. It also helps us appreciate when we overcome these challenges...

Bakshi: ...as well as give an idea of what the artist originally had in mind.

NC: Wow. That's... actually kind of profound.

Bakshi: Have I mentioned how many producers I've punched in the face lately?

NC: (sighs) Well, nevertheless, you have a good point.

Bakshi: Yeah, more producers need to be beaten.

NC: NO! (beat) Maybe. (looking into camera) I'm talking about reviewing Cool World.

(Footage of the film follows)

NC (vo): Analyzing how it didn't work, why it didn't work, and how it wasn't necessarily a great director's fault.

(Cut back to Bakshi and NC)

Bakshi: Hey, did you ever see the movie I made for kids that had...

(Cut to shots of Wizards)

Bakshi (vo): ...swearing, gore and Nazi propaganda?

Bakshi: It's a (imitating NC's "idiot" voice) FAMILY picture!

NC: (sighs) Pray for me, guys. This is Cool World.

(The title is shown)

NC (vo): So nothing says cool, risque and badass like (a shot of a plane approaching McCarran Field in Las Vegas, Nevada, circa 1945, is shown) 1945's Nevada.

NC: The Lindy Hop could not be contained.

NC (vo): ...as World War II vet Frank, played by Brad Pitt, returns home to his mother...and he has the perfect surprise for an aging woman in her 40s: a motorcycle!

(We see Frank show his mother Agatha her new motorcycle)

Frank (Brad Pitt): You ready? We're going for a ride.

Agatha (Janni Brenn): Oh, no, no. I have to finish dinner.

Frank: Mom, one ride.

NC: (as Frank) Come on!

(As NC imitates Frank, we see clips of the following of what NC is saying)

NC (vo; as Frank): Let's go riding ten miles per hour in the middle of the desert in my best suit. We'll go down to the hottest spot in town: the Gambling Casino.

NC: Right next to the (image of...) Drinking Bar!

NC (vo): But a drunk couple are driving recklessly on the road and crash into Frank and his mom.

NC: Oh, no, not that couple. This one.

(We see a clip of Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo from Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, edited together with the scene of Frank and Agatha crashing into the drunk couple's car. The motorcycle flies above the sky as the Goofy Holler is heard, before crashing to the ground. Frank is shown struggling to get up as war sounds are heard)

Man (stock audio): War is coming! War is coming in!

NC (vo): Frank, for a minute, thinks he's back in the war, until he realizes it's very unlikely his mother enlisted.

(Frank is shown cradling his dead mother's body while looking at the sky)

NC (vo; as Frank): Oh, at least the bike's okay.

(Paramedics quickly appear to carry Agatha on a gurney into their truck. An added caption is shown in front of the scene)

Announcer: Don't ride motorcycles. This PSA brought to you by Canadian Broadcasting.

NC: I knew it! They're so sneaky!

(As Agatha is being taken out, we then cut to an animated world where a spike is lit up by a cartoon scientist named Dr. Vincent Whiskers; the spike fires a laser)

NC: (startled yelp)

(The laser tears open a hole that reveals the real world where the ambulance is taking Frank's mother away)

Dr. Whiskers (Maurice LaMarche): Well, it works. My spike works.

NC: (looking around shiftily) Boy, if you started watching this movie with no idea what it's about, that would be totally out of left field, wouldn't i?

NC (vo): (as police tend to Frank) I wonder what's gonna happen? Maybe he'll get revenge on the driver, or ask how he reenlists to distract from the pain, or...

(Suddenly, Frank screams as he starts glowing cartoonishly, then disappears in a cartoon explosion; he is teleported into Cool World)

Dr. Whiskers: Oh, bother! (storms off in frustration)

NC: (blinking eyes) Dr. Wily...

NC (vo): ...creates Brad Pitt Man.

Frank: (dazed) You're not real...

Dr. Whiskers: We may not be real to you as yet, but we will be.

NC (vo): Just as Frank is wondering why he is in a different movie – presumably called Who Plagiarized Roger Rabbit – (in the movie, the words "Las Vegas 1992" pop up, followed by shots of a prison) we cut a mere 47 years later, where a prisoner named Jack, played by Gabriel Byrne, is getting dragged into his cartoons.

(Jack Deebs is seen in his cell drawing a sexy girl (Holli Would), but suddenly, the hands of the drawing come to life and he suddenly starts glowing and disappears into Cool World; he is falling through through a cartoonishly hellish cityscape)

NC: Wow, the ultimate ending to Shawshank Redemption is much more classic Stephen King.

(Jack enters a nightclub in this cartoon universe)

NC (vo): Thus, he's given his introduction not only to Cool World, but to Holli Would, played by Kim Basinger.

(Jack stares in awe as Holli does a very sexy dance to hard rock)

NC: (as Jack; staring and swaying his head) My God, I've created anime!