Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. So, almost a hundred episodes ago, I decided to do a special about comic book advertisements.
(Clips of the episode in question are shown)
Linkara (v/o): The opinion about the episode was split down the middle. Some thought it was an interesting idea, but wasn't really interesting enough for a full episode. Others absolutely loved it and wanted me to do more.
Linkara: However, one thing that everybody loved was the look at the Hostess Fruit Pie ads. I don't want to do an episode just on those, because, really, it's the same joke over and over again.
Linkara (v/o): However, I collected a lot of short stories and comics that aren't long enough to do on their own as an episode. As such, today, we're going to be doing a new segment on the show called "Comic Book Quickies", where we look at a mishmash of short stories, short comics, and other such things that aren't long enough for a full episode, but definitely need some looking at.
Linkara: So let's dig into a few quick comic book-related items, and see what we've got to work with.
(AT4W titles play; title card for this episode has "Light the Sky on Fire" by Jefferson Starship (from the Star Wars Holiday Special) playing; cut to the first quickie in this video: a Spider-Man comic from Hostess)
Linkara (v/o): And since the Hostess Fruit Pies were the popular ones, let's look at one of those first. Our story is "Spider-Man vs. the Human Computer!"
Linkara: Wait a second. Human computer? (becomes alarmed) MR. COMPUTER!! (screams and runs off)
Narrator: Mysteriously, all the computers in the city have gone haywire.
Linkara: (as narrator) Millions begin panicking when they're unable to access their porn.
Narrator: Worst of all, the fun has gone out of kids' electronic games.
Linkara: (as narrator) Although that didn't have anything to do with the computers going haywire; it's just the next lineup of popular game titles were all online only.
Narrator: Nobody can win against the "Human Computer".
(Cut to a clip of an IBM commercial with Avery Brooks)
Brooks: That's gonna take some serious software.
(Back to the Spider-Man comic)
Linkara (v/o): Spidey is swinging across the city and informs us of the situation that the above caption already did.
Spider-Man: There's a human computer on the loose-- an evil genius with an electronic brain. He's outsmarting everyone-- even the police.
Linkara: (as Spider-Man) But I'll be sure to catch him. After all, I've only made good decisions since I've put on (points to himself) this mask.
Linkara (v/o): And for some reason, Spidey assumes the dude is at an arcade. And he's right, of course, but then again, I'm wondering how the hell nobody noticed this thing until now. Is the Human Computer actually a Transformer, and he was disguised as a pinball machine?
Human Computer: Don't bug me, webhead. I've got your number...and everybody's number.
Linkara: (as Human Computer) Your number is six, by the way.
Spider-Man: (thinking) If I can trap this weirdo-- it'll be goodbye, Mr. Chip.
Linkara (v/o): Uh, is Chip his real name? Because otherwise, you're really going out of your way to make a reference to microchips.
Spider-Man: Some Hostess Cup Cakes and milk might do the trick.
Linkara: One of Spider-Man's lesser-known powers is the ability to summon confectioneries out of thin air.
Linkara (v/o): Seriously, where the hell did he get all those?! Did he honestly just summon them with the power of his mind?!
Human Computer: I am programmed to love this chocolaty cake... My circuits light for that fudgy icing.
Linkara: (as Human Computer) Oh, God, pouring milk on my exposed circuits... rubbing fudge into my motherboard... clogging up fan... Dr. Chandra, will I dream?
Linkara (v/o): And then Spidey pulls off his helmet, revealing an ordinary Tom Baker underneath it. So... he wasn't so much programmed to love Hostess Cup Cakes as much as he was just wearing a stupid cardboard box costume with circuits painted on?
Spider-Man: Just as I thought... a chip off the old block.
Linkara: Oh, come on, Spidey, that one's pushing it!
Spider-Man: Looks like your game is up. Time to cash in your chips.
Linkara: ENOUGH WITH THE MICROCHIP PUNS!!
Chip: I'm just a chip who loves chocolaty Hostess Cup Cakes!
Linkara: Was this originally an ad for potato chips?! WHAT THE HELL?!?
(Cut to black with classical music playing, then fade in on the following text, read by Linkara...)
Linkara (v/o): And now... An excerpt from "The Super Dictionary" with That Guy With The Hat: "Forty".
(Cut to The Guy With the Hat, reading from the Super Dictionary)
That Guy With the Hat: "When no one was looking, Lex Luthor took forty cakes. He took forty cakes. (looks up from book) That's as many as four tens. (takes off glasses) And that's terrible."
(Cut to a shot of the title for "Star Wars Tales")
Linkara (v/o): So, we haven't done very many Star Wars comics on the show, and that should be rectified. And what do you know? There's a nine-page story uniquely suited to this situation.
(Cut to a clip of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, showing Anakin and Padme together on a castle balcony)
Linkara (v/o): Say, do you ever wonder why Jedi aren't allowed to fall in love? You could probably say, "Well, we don't want them being distracted or caring about one person over the greater good," but that would actually have some kind of sense behind it. Mind you, I would still argue in response, "Then why are they allowed to have friends?" But anyway, you get the point. You could make a good case why it would be a bad idea for Jedi to be in a romantic relationship.
Linkara: Hey, you wanna hear what the real reason is? (laughs) Want to bet it's really stupid?
(Cut to the "Star Wars Tales" comic where this is going to happen)
Linkara (v/o): This comes to us from "Star Wars Tales", an anthology series from Dark Horse that covered everything from new characters to humorous side stories to previously unexplored material and concepts. And of course, we have a story within a story to explain the stupid rule about not falling in love. A rule, by the way, that, in the expanded universe canon, Luke Skywalker did away with after he rebuilt the Jedi Order. We begin with a young Obi-Wan Kenobi being taught meditation by Qui-Gon Jinn.
Qui-Gon: I sense fear in you. What is it you fear?
Linkara: (as Obi-Wan, putting his hand to his forehead) I fear... clumsy Darth Vader symbolism.
Linkara (v/o): (a silhouette of Darth Vader, actually Qui-Gon, is in the background in the panel) Seriously, why the hell did they include the Darth Vader silhouette there? We see who it is three panels later on the same page!
Qui-Gon: Obi-Wan, a Jedi shall not know anger... or fear...
Linkara: (as Qui-Gon) You must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
Qui-Gon: ...or hatred... or love.
Qui-Gon: Let go of your feelings, or they will be your undoing.
Obi-Wan: But why...?
Qui-Gon: There is no why.
Linkara: (as Qui-Gon) Obey me blindly and never question our stupid practices, or I'll club you with my lightsaber!
Linkara (v/o): By the by, Qui-Gon Jinn is basically the worst Jedi ever. Dude looks over obvious alternate plans, continually assumes that he's always right no matter what the facts before him claim, and just takes unnecessary and enormous risks. And as we see here, Qui-Gon is basically an asshole who just said, "There isn't any reason why you do it, just do it, you little punk!" In fact, this is such bullcrap that Obi-Wan calls him out and says there has to be a reason why, much to Qui-Gon's absolute shock and surprise, as if he never even thought of that. And thus, Qui-Gon decides to tell the reason.
Qui-Gon: Call it a fable. A parable.
(Cut to a clip of the MST3K gang watching The Mole People)
Mike Nelson: It's a fabulous funny freakout.
(Cut back to the Star Wars comic)
Qui-Gon: Though some claim it may be a true story whose origins lie buried in the past.
Linkara: (as Qui-Gon) So basically, I'm making up a complete nonsense legend to try to explain why we're idiots.
Qui-Gon: Whichever it may or may not be, it is relevant to the Jedi Code.
Linkara: (as Obi-Wan) But Master Qui-Gon, if it isn't true, doesn't that just mean it's a huge contrivance that wouldn't actually happen in the real world? (as Qui-Gon) What did I just say about clubbing you with my lightsaber? (as Obi-Wan) I'll shut up!
Qui-Gon: (narrating) Many centuries ago, when the Jedi Order was in its infancy...
Linkara: Want to be a bit more specific about how many centuries ago? I mean, I could be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure the Jedi had been around for more than a few centuries.
Linkara (v/o): In fact, from what I understand, "Knights of the Old Republic" is supposed to take place 4,000 years before the rise of the Empire, and Jedi were still around! At that point, you stop counting by centuries! Anyway, our story tells us of a Jedi Master who was searching the universe for "Force-sensitive beings".
Qui-Gon: (narrating) He had been searching the galaxy for some time and had not discovered any like beings. He searched with his eyes, ears and also reached out with the Force to no avail.
Linkara: (as Qui-Gon) His advertisements on Craigslist were met with no responses, either.
Linkara (v/o): However, he then discovered two powerful disturbances in the Force and sought them out, discovering a woman pregnant with twins. The twins don't wish to be separated, to the point where one grabs the other's arm... which somehow leaves a permanent scar. Did they have, like, acid on their hands or something? What? Also, they have 6s tattooed on their foreheads. Geez, and people complain about Star Trek's bumpy-foreheaded aliens.
Qui-Gon: (narrating) He would take them and raise them. The mother, unable to provide for the two, agreed.
Linkara: (as Qui-Gon) Bringing the mother with them wasn't an option because... (long, awkward pause) So anyway...
Linkara (v/o): The Jedi, named Shang-Troy, decided to teach the twins together. When together, the two Jedi were extremely powerful and shared not only a small telepathic bond, but also a precognitive one where they could predict the other's movements. Unfortunately, they had pretty much spent all their lives on an alien world without any knowledge of the universe. And while they loved Shang-Troy like a father, socialization was an issue. Shang-Troy brought them out into the universe to fight the forces of evil. Aaaand they met a woman who fell in love with the younger of the twins. The guy reciprocated, but unfortunately, the twins were so identical otherwise that the other grew jealous... Er, wait. They make a big point in the story about how the brothers are identical, save for the scar received at birth on the arm. So... why exactly does she fall in love with one and not the other? Anyway, yeah, Shang-Troy tried to comfort the kid, but he was young and horny and tried to trick the woman into sleeping with him. She sees the scar on the older brother and figures it out, and since the two had a telepathic link, the brother found out, too, and is naturally pissed off. They started yelling at each other over the whole thing, and Shang-Troy went to try to intervene as they began to openly start fighting one another. Finally, their battle went to lightsabers and even really terrible artwork, a bad combination of anime or manga-inspired appearances, coupled with generally bizarre anatomy. And they accidentally kill Shang-Troy. Naturally horrified about what had happened, that just fueled their aggression even further, the woman pleading with them to stop, but neither heard her. And finally, the sheer aggression and emotion created an explosion of the Force so powerful that the ENTIRE PLANET they were on BLEW UP. I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS.
Qui-Gon: You see, Obi-Wan, their intense emotions overtook them, and that star will always remind us of that.
Linkara: WHAT STAR?!? THE PLANET WAS INCINERATED!!!
Linkara (v/o): What, you mean that one single little star that's kind of different from all the other ones that's actually smaller than the planet?! THAT IS NOT HOW STARS WORK!!
Linkara: (looking thoughtful) Although, you know that Jefferson Starship song that played in the Star Wars Christmas special, "Light the Sky on Fire"? Yeah, the lyrics make perfect sense now.
(Linkara is seen dressed as an Aussie and holding a bow and arrow)
Linkara: Push that cart! (looks to camera) We'll be right back. (walks off) The cart's movin' the wrong way, ya scallywagus!
(AT4W logo appears in corner as we go to commercial; upon return, there is a splattering sound and Linkara in Aussie form returns)
Linkara: Ha! Not so smart with your brains outside your head! (looks into camera) Oh, we're back now.
(Linkara laughs as he walks off, while AT4W logo appears in corner; cut back to the Star Wars comic)
Qui-Gon: Many in the Order still believe that is why a master may only have one Padawan, and that intense feelings of both anger and love are forbidden. Passion clouds an otherwise balanced mind, and it should be avoided.
(Cut to a clip of Scrubs, showing Dr. Cox)
Dr. Cox: Yeah, now, that's just a load of crap.
(Back to the Star Wars comic)
Linkara (v/o): Oh, how do I count the ways?! Passion can cloud the mind, but it can also focus the mind. Anger about injustice and wrongs is natural and can lead to positive outcomes. And of course, love and compassion for other living beings is what drives us to want to help them and be associated with them to begin with. And if you don't love the other Jedi in some capacity...
(Cut to footage of Qui-Gon's funeral pyre at the end of The Phantom Menace)
Linkara (v/o): ...why even bother holding a funeral where you burn their bodies out of respect and crap?! Without love, what the hell do you care about someone's corpse?!
Linkara: (holding up hand in defense) But, let's not get sidetracked in a philosophical argument about emotions, and instead point out why this story is utter nonsense!
Linkara (v/o): So, because some dumbass takes two twins and trains them on his own and never teaches them that fighting over a woman as if she's a possession is wrong, and this somehow results in the entire planet blowing up... THAT'S why Jedi aren't allowed to LOVE?! Because of an entirely unique situation and some idiot's crappy training regimen, THAT'S why dating is wrong?! Or do they seriously fear that if some teenage Padawan gets a boner, he's gonna go nuts and BLOW UP THE PLANET?! Really, the actual moral lessons of this are: one, have more than one person training Padawans; two, make sure the Padawans have plenty of socialization with the outside world; and three, teach the Padawans to respect the choices of others, especially in terms of their romantic partners! Seriously, this story is about a twin who got pissed off and killed millions, if not BILLIONS, of people, because he felt he got put in the friend zone! That's not a lesson about the dangers of falling in love, it's a story about how that guy was an asshole!
Linkara: But hey, that's just my opinion. Far be it from me to question the wisdom of Qui-Gon "Let's not sell our fancy-pants spaceship and get a smaller one that'll do the job just right and instead rest our hopes on a nine-year-old in a race with a hot rod he built in his garage in a sport he's never won in"... (beat) Jinn.
(Cut to black with classical music playing, then fade in on the following text, read by Linkara...)
Linkara (v/o): And now... An excerpt from "The Super Dictionary" with That Guy With The Hat: "Invisible".
(Cut to The Guy With the Hat, reading from the Super Dictionary)
That Guy With the Hat: "Conjura has made you an invisible person. She has made you a person who cannot be seen. (points to camera) LOOK IN THE MIRROR!"
(Cut to a Hulk comic, sponsored, like the one with Spider-Man, by Hostess)
Linkara (v/o): Let's check in with Hostess again. This time, it's "The Hulk vs. the Phoomie Goonies"...
Linkara: (dumbfounded) ...the hell?
Linkara (v/o): Anyway, we start off with Bruce Banner walking by a post office.
Banner: A mailman! What a great outdoors job to apply for! No enemies, except a yapping dog, or two!
Linkara: Oh, yeah, I mean, mailmen never have to deal with anything else stressful or problematic in their lives. No danger of Hulking out there! (shakes his head, then gives a disgusted look)
Banner: But mailmen are civil servants. There'll be questions--forms--tests!
Linkara: (as Banner) Oh, God, I didn't study! Feeling the pressure... HULK SMASH!!
Linkara (v/o): All of a sudden, two* guys wielding tommyguns and dressed in brown military gear storm in. (noticing that they're holding their guns with one hand) Also, I'm pretty sure that's not how you hold tommyguns.
- NOTE: It's actually three guys, not two, and Linkara mentions so moments later.
Thug with tommygun: We are the Phoomie Goonies!
Linkara: (incredulously) Seriously, what the hell is that?! Are they, like, big fans of The Goonies, but they think (makes "air quotes") "Phoomie" is an adjective or something?!
Phoomie Goonie: You're all now hostages of the revolutionary government!
Linkara: (as Phoomie Goonie, holding up machine gun with one finger awkwardly) Yes, owning this one post office will guarantee us domination over this country's government!
Linkara (v/o): Really, though, this is the master plan? You people don't even know how to hold your guns and yet you expect to overthrow the government or something? Anyway, Banner actually seems unimpressed with the terrorists.
Banner: (thinking) What lousy timing!
Linkara: (as Banner) Ugh, a hostage situation? I am never gonna mail out this letter, am I?
Linkara (v/o): However, despite the disinterest, this apparently is enough to trigger the Hulk transformation. Subsequently, the Hulk grabs the three terrorists.
Hulk: You make Hulk angry! Hulk squeeze you into size of envelope--then mail you through "out-of-town" slot!
Linkara: (as Hulk) Then Hulk realize he not put proper postage, and it get returned to Hulk, and Hulk have to mail it out again, only mailman can't read Hulk's handwriting, and it get returned again anyway!
Linkara (v/o): However, despite being threatened with guns, one kid says the Hulk shouldn't hug them and squeeze them and call them George. No, instead, he should give them Hostess Fruit Pies.
Linkara: Why do you want to reward the terrorists?
Linkara (v/o): C'mon, kid, it's a bit early for Stockholm Syndrome.
Phoomie Goonie: We surrender for Fruit Pies!
Linkara: (as Hulk) Hulk not here to negotiate terms of surrender! Hulk leave that to hostage negotiator!
Linkara (v/o): Plus, who knew that small children are the best people to talk to the Hulk and convince him not to murder people? Later, after the Phoomie Goonies have been put behind bars, they still get to have their Fruit Pies. Man, terrorism was so much easier to deal with in 1981, apparently. And the story ends with Bruce Banner walking off.
Banner: I'll send the Phoomie Goonies a bill for the kid's Hostess Fruit Pies and for my new clothes!
Linkara: Bruce Banner is being unusually calm about the sheer number of people who have now seen him transform into the Hulk.
(Cut to black with classical music playing once again, then fade in on the following text, read by Linkara...)
Linkara (v/o): And now... An excerpt from "The Super Dictionary" with That Guy With The Hat: "Happiness".
(Cut to The Guy With the Hat, reading from the Super Dictionary)
That Guy With the Hat: "Jimmy Olsen's happiness showed on his face. His feelings of being glad showed on his face (suggestively) when Supergirl untied the ropes." (grins suggestively)
Linkara: And that's all we've got for today, my friends. Just remember what we've learned here: love ultimately leads to planetary annihilation, so just sit back and have a Fruit Pie, or Conjura will make you invisible.
In retrospect, that "6" on the twins' foreheads is probably actually hair, but the artwork is so bad I couldn't tell.
Also, yeah, three guys and not two stormed in, but because of the coloring and the size of the panel, it looked like only two of them were there.
(Stinger: The panel of the Hulk comic showing the Phoomie Goonies eating the Fruit Pies is shown again)
That Guy With the Hat (v/o): The Phoomie Goonies ate three Hostess Fruit Pies. The exchange rate for that is twelve cakes. And that's terrible.
|Atop the Fourth Wall Transcripts
||The Top 15 WTF Moments in Comics · US-1 1 · Doom's IV 2 · Superman At Earth's End · Sinnamon 11 · Batman 147
||Spider-Man 56 · Godzilla Vs. Barkley · Titans 1 · Uncanny X-Men 423 · Uncanny X-Men 424 · S.C.I. Spy 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 1 · Star Trek comic 1 · Newmen 1 · NFL Superpro 1 · Neutro 1 · Amazons Attack Prologue · Amazons Attack 1 and 2 · Amazons Attack 3 and 4 · Amazons Attack 5 and 6 · Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 1 · Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains · Daredevil 305 · Daredevil 306 · Blue Beetle Tribute · World of Warcraft 2 and 3 · Captain Planet and the Planeteers 3 · Wolverine: Adamantium Rage · Youngblood 1 · New Guardians 2 · The Marriage of Hercules and Xena · Secret Defenders 9 · Secret Defenders 10 · Superman vs Terminator 1 · Countdown Prologue · Countdown Part 1 · Countdown Part 2 · Top 15 Worst Moments of Countdown · Xena 1 · Cable 1 · Law and Order 1 · Batman: Fortunate Son · Air Raiders 1 · Nightcat 1 · Zero Patrol 1 · Blood Pack 1 · Mickey Mantle 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 1 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 1 and 2 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 3 and 4 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 5 · Maximum Clonage · 22 Brides 1 · All-Star Batman and Robin 1 and 2 · Doom 1 · Spider-Man, Storm and Cage · Bimbos in Time · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 1 · Extreme Super Christmas Special 1 · James Bond, Jr. 3 · Top 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||Pitt 1 · Scarlett comic 1 · Future Five 1 · Ultimates 3 1 and 2 · Ultimates 3 3 and 4 · Ultimates 3 5 · Youngblood 2 · Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 1 · Strange Adventures 136 · Doom's IV 1/2 · X-Men comic 1 · Darker Image 1 · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 2 · Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 2 · Star Trek/X-Men 1 · Athena 1 · JLA - Act of God Part 1 · JLA - Act of God Part 2 · JLA - Act of God Part 3 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet Archie · Lunatik 1 · Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos 1 · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Fit to Win · Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse 1-2 · Freak Force 1 · Chain Gang War 1 · Ewoks 9 · Cable 2 · The California Raisins 3-D 2 · Hardcore Station 1 · The Others 1 and Brute Force 1 · Amazing Spider-Man: Skating on Thin Ice 1 · Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force · Action Comics 592 · Action Comics 593 · Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review · 100th Episode · Nolan Ryan 1 · Transformers comics 4-5 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 1 and 2 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 3 and 4 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 5 · Spider-Man: The Greatest Responsibility · Action Comics 1 · Amazing Fantasy 15 · Detective Comics 27 · The X-Men 1 · Brute Force 2 · New Kids on the Block 4 · Marvel Team Up 127 · Santa Claus Conquers the Martians · Top 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
||Justice League: Cry for Justice 1-2 · Justice League: Cry for Justice 3-4 · Power Rangers Zeo 1 · Justice League: Cry for Justice 5-7 · Care Bears 13 · Superman: Distant Fires · Youngblood 3 · Doctor Who Classics 7 · Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four in... Brain Drain! · KISS Comics · Superman and Wonder Woman: Tandy Computer Whiz Kids · Spawn 1 · X-Force 1 · The Backstreet Project 1 · All-Star Batman and Robin 3 and 4 · Lady Gaga 1 · Star Trek: The Motion Picture 1-3 · The Godyssey 1 · Superman Meets the Quik Bunny · Ultimate Warrior's Workout · Ultimatum 1-2 · Ultimatum 3-4 · Ultimatum 5 · SCI-Spy 2 · Miller Time: Batman/Spawn · Gameboy 1 · Eminem and the Punisher 1 · Barbi Twin Adventures 1 · Rise of Arsenal 1-2 · Rise of Arsenal 3-4 · Comic Book Advertisements · Star Trek 2 (Gold Key) · PSA Hell: Captain America: Return of the Asthma Monster! · NBComics 1 · Mightily Murdered Power Ringers 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 1 · US-1 2 · Twilight Zone 9 · Superman and the TRS-80 Whiz Kids: The Computers that Saved Metropolis! · Street Fighter 1 (Malibu) · Silent Hill: Paint It Black · Silent Hill: Among the Damned · Silent Hill: The Grinning Man · Spider-Man: Planet of the Symbiotes · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu · All-Star Comics 8 · The Fantastic Four 1 · All-American Comics 16 · Captain America Comics 1 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 1 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 2 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 3 · Top 15 Personal Favorite Jokes of AT4W
||Marville 1 · Miller Time: Robocop vs. the Terminator 1 · Brute Force 3 · 15 Things That Are Wrong With Identity Crisis · New Guardians 1 · Gameboy 2 · Youngblood 4 · Star Trek III: The Search for Spock · Mr. T 1 (AP Comics) · Mr. T 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America in Dr. Doom's Revenge! · The Invincible Four of Kung-Fu & Ninja 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 2 · Black Web 1 · Transformers: Generation 2 1 · Captain Tax Time 1 · Superman 701 · Bloodstrike 1 · Marville 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man on Bullying Prevention 1 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 1 · Daredevil vs Vapora 1 · Batman: A Word to the Wise · Marvel Team-Up 74 · Blake's 7 2 · Battle for Bludhaven 1-2 · Battle for Bludhaven 3-4 · Battle for Bludhaven 5-6 · Sir Charles Barkley and the Referee Murders · Captain Electron 1 · Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home · 200th Episode · Rock 'N Roll 31 · Future Shock 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 2 · Psychoman 1 · Marville 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Answer to a Riddle · Batman: Jazz 1 · Starstream 1 · The Thing From Another World 1 · The Thing From Another World 2 · Spider-Man: Power and Responsibility · Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror 2 · Flash Comics 1 · Tales of Suspense 39 · The Brave and the Bold 54 · The Incredible Hulk 1 · Superman's Christmas Adventure · Archie Giant Series Magazine 452 · Teen Titans 13: A Swingin' Christmas Carol · Batman: Noel · The Next 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
||Kamandi at Earth's End 3 · Raver 1 · Transformers 31 · Happy Days 2 · All-Star Batman and Robin 5 · Youngblood 5 · Star Wars 3-D 1 · Marville #4 · Titans Retrospective: Team History · Titans Retrospective: JLA/Titans: The Technis Imperative · Titans Retrospective: Titans 1-25 · Titans Retrospective: Titans 26-50 · Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster · Power Pachyderms 1 · Star Trek V: The Final Frontier · Dragnet 4 · Wild Thing 1 · Spider-Man 2099 1 · Punisher 2099 1 · Doom 2099 1 · Ravage 2099 1 · Comic Book Quickies 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 4 · SCI-Spy 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 2 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 6 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: A Deadly Choice · Battlestar Galactica: Journey's End 1 · Marville 5 · Miller Time: Tales to Offend 1 · The Culling: Teen Titans Annual 1 · The Culling: Superboy 9 · The Culling: Legion Lost 9 · The Culling: Teen Titans 9 · Plan 9 From Outer Space: 30 Years Later 1 · Brute Force 4 · Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country · SCI-Spy 4 · The Thing From Another World: Climate of Fear 1-2 · The Thing From Another World: Climate of Fear 3-4 · Spider-Man: Crossfire · 2001: A Space Odyssey 1 · Showcase 4 · Tales to Astonish 27 · Showcase 22 · Journey into Mystery 83 · The Punisher: Silent Night 1 · Solson Christmas Special featuring Samurai Santa 1 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 2 · Doctor Who Classic Comics 15 · The Next 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||Marville 6-7 · Comic Book Quickies 2 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 7 · Preparedness 101: A Zombie Pandemic · Gameboy 3 · US-1 3 · Youngblood 6 · Star Trek: Generations · The A-Team 1 · The Wild 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 5 · Nova Girls: Kissing Canvas · Avengers 200 · SCI-Spy 5 · Red Hood and the Outlaws 1 · Athena 2 · Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book 1 · Zolastraya and the Bard 1 · PSA Hell: Superman: For the Animals 1 · Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos 2 · Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie 1 · Speed Steer 5 · Batman: Jazz 2 · 2001: A Space Odyssey 2 · Comic Book Quickies 3 · 300th Episode · 300th Episode: Part 2 · 300th Episode: Part 3 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 56 · Sinnamon 1 · US-1 4 · The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly 1 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer That Said No to Drugs · Marvel Super Special 17 · SCI-Spy 6 · Kamandi at Earth's End 6 · Sonic Super Special 7 · Star Trek: First Contact · Cosmic Slam 1 · The Thing from Another World: Eternal Vows 1-2 · The Thing from Another World: Eternal Vows 3-4 · The Thing from Another World: Questionable Research · Spider-Man: The Trial of Peter Parker · Whiz Comics 2 · Tales to Astonish 44 · Detective Comics 38 · The Avengers 1 · The Hobbit 1 · The Hobbit 2 · The Hobbit 3 · Santa the Barbarian 1 · Top 15 Worst Comics I've Reviewed
||Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 9 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 2 · Trouble 1 · Comic Book Quickies 4 · PSA Hell: Energy and Safety with the Justice League · Youngblood 7 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 1-40 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 41-75 · The Star Wars 1 · Batman: Jazz 3 · Mr. T and the T-Force 3 · Big Bang Presents 3: Protoplasman! · Crimson 1 · Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (RPG Game) · Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone · PSA Hell: Batman: Shadow of the Bat 57 · Comic Book Quickies 5 · Avengers Assemble Featuring Captain Citrus 1 · Doctor Who/Star Trek: The Next Generation: Assimilation Squared · My Cage · The Punisher 60 · The Punisher 61 & 62 · Steam Wars · Ultimate Power 1-2 · Homestuck, Act 1 · Atomic Robo, Vol. 3 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Batman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Wonder Woman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating The Flash · Zyuranger Episodes 17-22 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer Trap · Trouble 2 · Pokémon Reburst, Chapter 1 · Green Lantern 23.1 · Team Youngblood 1 · US-1 5 · The Star Wars 2 · Power Man and Iron Fist 79 · Nightmares on Elm Street 1-2 · Nightmares on Elm Street 3-4 · Nightmares on Elm Street 5-6 · Spider-Man: Virtual Mortality · More Fun Comics 73 · Daredevil 1 · Action Comics 252 · Tales of Suspense 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5 · Deadpool Bi-Annual 1 · Cho Dengeki Stryker · Zombies Christmas Carol 1-3 · Zombies Christmas Carol 4-5 · Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||NFL SuperPro Special Edition 1 · Popeye: Borned to the Sea 1 · OnStar Batman Auto Show Special Edition 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 3 · The Star Wars 3 · Youngblood 8 · All-Star Batman and Robin 10 · Pokémon Adventures Ch. 1-2 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 1-5 · Blue-Skying, Part 1: Blue Beetle Dan Garrett · Blue-Skying, Part 2: Blue Beetle Ted Kord · Blue-Skying, Part 3: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes · Blue-Skying, Part 4: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes New 52 · Star Trek Special: Flesh and Stone · Blackest Night 1-8 · Dart 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 58 · The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky · Ultimate Power 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 3 · Comic Book Quickies 6 · 400th Episode · 400th Episode: Part 2 · Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 1 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 2 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 3 · 15 Things Wrong With Marvel's Civil War · Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 1 · The Minister of Chance · US-1 6 · Star Trek: Voyager 1 · Unsounded, Chapter 1 · Biggles and the Menace from Space · Batman and Robin: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman and the TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids: Victory by Computer · Star Trek/Green Lantern: The Spectrum War · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 27-28 · Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Ch. 1 · Pryde of the X-Men · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 1 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 3 · Spider-Man: Cyberwar · The Real Ghostbusters in Ghostbusters II 1-3 · Strange Tales 110 · More Fun Comics 73: Aquaman · Tales of Suspense 57 · All-Star Comics 3 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 2015 Holiday Special · Ghostbusters: Past, Present, and Future · Elvira's House of Mystery Special 1 · Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W
||Digimon: Digital Monsters 1 · Phonogram: The Immaterial Girl 1-6 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 · Trouble 3 · The Star Wars 4 · Spectacular Spider-Man Episode 1x10 - "Persona" · Youngblood 9 · The A-Team 2 · The Batman/Superman Movie: World's Finest · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 · Reagan's Raiders 1 · Fist of the North Star, Ch. 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 4 · Iron Man: The Animated Series - The Wedding of Iron Man · Athena 3 · Batman: The Dark Knight 1-3 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 2 · Crisis on Infinite Earths · Secret Wars (1984) · The Infinity Gauntlet · Flashpoint · Babylon 5 1 · The Star Wars 5 · All-New Ghost Rider, Volume 2 · Robocop vs. the Terminator 2 · Superman vs. the Terminator 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: News By Computer Foils Kidnappers · Ultimate Power 4 · Delicious in Dungeon, Vol. 1 · Batman: Odyssey 1 · Asterix: The Legionary · Comic Book Quickies 7 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 1-4 (2012-2013 series) · Thunderbirds Are Go · Batman: The Official Movie Adaptation · Ultimate Iron Man Vol. 1 1-2 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 11-12 · Stormwatch 0 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning 1-2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook · New Line Cinema's Tales of Horror 1 · The Sensational Spider-Man 0 · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash · Marvel Comics 1 · Brave and the Bold 28 · Kamen Rider Fourze Episodes 1-4 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Dark Holiday Special · Sensation Comics 14: The Story of Fir Balsam · Steam Wars Holiday Special · Christmas with the Superheroes 2
||My Top 15 Favorite Episodes of AT4W · Legion of Superheroes: The Great Darkness Saga · James Bond, Jr. 1 · JLA/Avengers · Homestuck, Act 2 · Isaac Asimov's I-Bots 1 · Thunderstrike 1 · Youngblood 10 · Badrock 1A · Event Comics Month II: Infinite Crisis · Event Comics Month II: Infinity War · Event Comics Month II: World War Hulk · Event Comics Month II: Final Crisis · Power Rangers Turbo vs. Beetleborgs Metallix 1 · Diesel 1 · Teen Titans: "Betrayal" and "Aftershock, Parts 1 and 2" · The Punisher: Purgatory · Comic Book Quickies 8 · 500th Episode · Dark Knight III: The Master Race 1-2 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Green Lantern · The New Guardians 3 · US-1 7 · Nova Girls: Space 34-24-34 · Batman: Odyssey 2 · Star Wars 3-D 2 · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu 3 · PSA Hell: Captain America Meets the Asthma Monster · Superman and Spider-Man · Amazing Cow Heroes 4: Cold Cuts · Ravage 2099 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Safeguarding the Environment · Mr. T and the T-Force 4 · Star Trek 2 (DC) · Star Trek (2009): The Official Motion Picture Adaptation · Star Trek: The Next Generation 4 · Star Trek 1 (Gold Key) · Silent Hill: Hunger · The Thing: The Northern Nightmare · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors · Spider-Man: Smoke and Mirrors · Hellraiser: Hell on Earth · Fantastic Four 52 · Marvel Comics 1 (The Human Torch) · The Incredible Hulk 181 · The New Mutants 98 · Batman Returns: The Official Comic Adaptation · The Punisher: Red X-Mas · Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comic Adaptation · Luke Cage, Hero for Hire 7
||Yet Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 5 · Batman/Aliens 1 · Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel · Pokémon 15x19-20 "Cilan Takes Flight" and "An Amazing Aerial Battle" · Tomb Raider Vol. 3: Queen of Serpents · Little Victory: Chimera 1 · Youngblood 0 · Kickers, Inc. 1 · The Savage Dragon 1 · Darkwing Duck 1-4 · The California Raisins 3-D 5 · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 1-3 · Gallery of Horrors · Batman: The Dark Knight 16-17 · Tremors · Ultimate Power 5-6 · Batman Forever: The Official Comic Adaptation · Street Fighter: The Official Comic Adaptation · Catwoman: The Official Comic Adaptation · Dune: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Movie Special · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 1 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 2 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 3 · US-1 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Community Action Program · Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs · Comic Book Swimsuit Issues · Batman 45-47: The Gift · Star Trek: The Next Generation 5 · The A-Team 3 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 5-9 · Trouble 4 · Franken Fran, Ch. 1 and 4 · Youngblood: Judgment Day · Teen Titans 27-28 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser 1 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Summer Special · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Spring Slaughter · Spider-Man: The Exile Returns · Detective Comics 225 (Martian Manhunter) · Batman: Harley Quinn 1 · DC Comics Presents 26 · The Flash 123 · Evil Dead 2: A Merry Deadmite X-Mas · Transformers (UK) 145 · The All-New Batman: The Brave and the Bold 14 · Star Wars: The Last Jedi Comic Adaptation
||Top 15 Dumbest Evil Plans of AT4W · Batman/Aliens 2 · Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Deep Trouble 1-4 · Megamind · Revolution · Superman vs. Muhammad Ali · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 4-6 · Youngblood: Strikefile 1 · Comic Book Quickies 9 · Black Panther, Vol. 4 1-6 · Batman: Odyssey 3 · Justice League/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers · The Champions, Vol. 3 1-4: Beat the Devil · Star Trek vs. Transformers · Athena 4 · Daredevil: Born Again · Action Comics 775 · Comic Book Quickies 10 · 600th Episode · Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Attack of the Clones Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Rogue One Comic Adaptation · DC Challenge! 1 · Kyoryu Sentai Zyurangers Episodes 40-43 · Trouble 5 · Dan Dare: Voyage to Venus · Superman 358 · Zero Hour: Crisis in Time · House of M · Secret Empire · Heroes in Crisis · Animax 1 · Ninjutsu 1-2 · Green Goblin 1-2, 4, 8, 12-13 · US-1 9 · Emergency! 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 5 · Pinhead 1-3 · Pinhead 4-6 · Pinhead vs. Marshal Law · Spider-Man: Web of Life · Marvel Super-Heroes 12 (Captain Marvel) · The Flash 110 · The Amazing Spider-Man 129 · Awesome Comics Holiday Special · Transformers (UK) 41 · Solo: A Star Wars Story Comic Adaptation
||Yet Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W · Star Trek Book and Record Set: Dinosaur Planet · DC Challenge! 2 · The Mighty Heroes 1 · Justice League 1x01-3: Secret Origins · The Star Wars 6 · The King of Braves GaoGaiGar Ep. 1-4 · Youngblood: Strikefile 2 · Pokémon 15×01-02: "Enter Elesa, Electrifying Gym Leader" & "Dazzling the Nimbasa Gym" · Stanley and his Monster 1-4 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: The Transformers 1-40 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Transformers 41-80 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Generation 2 and Regeneration One · Star Trek 9 (Gold Key) · Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes · Mystery Science Theater 3000 1 · Batman: The Dark Knight Returns · Ultimate Power 7-8 · Batman: The Dark Knight 23.4 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Aquaman · Sword Interval: Flashback Arc · PSA Hell: The Amazing Spider-Man: Riot at Robotworld · Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition) · Transformers/Ghostbusters: Ghosts of Cybertron · The New Guardians 4 · Codename: Ninja 1 · Batman: Hush · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 15-16 · Mr. T and the T-Force 6 · Doom’s IV 1 · Batman and Elmer Fudd & Catwoman and Sylvester and Tweety · Batman: Odyssey 4 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 1 · US-1 10 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 6 · DC Challenge! 3 · Marvel Super Special 1: KISS · The Ring, Vol. 1 · The Ring, Vol. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Death · Detective Comics 359 · The X-Men 4 · Batman 1 · Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 · The Adventures of Chrissie Claus 1 · Christmas Quickies 1 · Still Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||Ultimate Power 9 · The Adventures of Superboy 3x05-06 and 4x07-08 · Batman: The Killing Joke Adaptation · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating the JLA · Chew: Poyo Character Focus · Youngblood: Strikefile 3 · Doctor Who: Logopolis · Armageddon 2001 · Secret Invasion · Civil War II · Dark Nights: Metal · The Star Wars 7 · Sonic the Hedgehog: Tangle and Whisper
||AT4W 2009 Trailer · Linkara's Take on Watchmen · Watchmen Review · Theme Song Contest · The Spoony Experiment: Warrior #1 · Theme Song Contest Winner! · Blackest Night · Silent Hill: Dying Inside Trailer · Silent Hill Alternate Endings · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · October 2010 Trailer · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive Review Alternate Endings · The Live Show! · AT4W Story Recap · October 2011 Trailer · Return of AT4W Live! · Revenge of the AT4W Live! · Southland Tales · Curse of AT4W Live · House of AT4W Live! · Ghost of AT4W LIVE! · October 2012 Trailers · Bride of AT4W Live! · Son of AT4W Live! · Night of AT4W Live! · Day of AT4W Live! · Dawn of AT4W Live! · Land of AT4W Live! · Diary and Survival of AT4W Live! · Power of AT4W Live! · Midnight of AT4W Live! · Planet of AT4W LIVE! · Genesis of AT4W LIVE! · 300th Episode Livestream Recordings · Destiny of AT4W LIVE! · Resurrection of AT4W LIVE! · Revelation of AT4W Live! · Remembrance of AT4W LIVE! · The New 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5