(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Cinderella (1997). The famous classical piece "The Blue Danube" plays in the background throughout)
Doug (vo): Insert generic comment about, "What? A Disney princess that was white, but they made black? My God, people must have been up in arms!", or maybe they just had real things to obsess about. (Various images are shown, including a Tamagotchi, a TIME Magazine cover of "the Most Influential People in America of 1997", the poster for Spice World, and the single cover of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On") Eh, I guess we obsessed over pretty stupid things back then, too. Here's to the next stupid things we obsess over in the next several years. Anyway, this is Cinderella with Brandy, which honestly sounds like a really delicious drink that maybe I would like to have while watching this. Okay, before you go nuts, I can't at all say this is a bad production, because, my God, if you're someone that wants to see a TV movie version of Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, produced by Whitney Houston, made by Disney, and starring Brandy, you're going to get exactly what you're looking for. This is not a movie that's not designed to really have a lot of in-depth character or really put a new spin on the fairy tale, it's a movie you're supposed to watch with friends, to talk about the dancing and the pretty dresses and the set decorations and, "Doesn't she look pretty? Doesn't he look hot? What accent is that supposed to be? Is that really the person singing all this stuff?" that you're really just supposed to kind of chat over while the movie is playing. Is that really my thing? I can very clearly say no. But I can definitely appreciate things that are done well in this, and give the movie credit for knowing its audience.
Story[]
Doug (vo): The story is very by the numbers. It's Cinderella, it's this poor girl who lives with her stepmother and mean stepsisters who hears there's a ball, isn't allowed to go, and then the Fairy Godmother, played by Whitney Houston, appears and gives her everything she needs to go to the ball and dance with the prince, yada, yada, yada. You know the shtick.
Review[]
Doug (vo): Because this is Rogers and Hammerstein, and on top of that, a TV movie, the production is very clever at making it look like a Broadway show, which is not to say everything is shot on a stage or anything, but even the outside shots kind of look very stage-ish. All the colors are very bright, all the backgrounds look very fake, even the CG effects have a very corny flare to them. But I do really think that's all intentional. This is the kind of music where somebody doesn't really sing too much about bearing their soul, it's more about, like, people singing, "There's going to be a ball!", and having a big, happy dance number about it. It's about being silly, upbeat, and even a little tacky as opposed to serious, dramatic, and really emotional.
(Footage focusing on Lionel, King Maximillian and Queen Constantina is shown)
Doug (vo): With that said, everybody plays their part...for the most part...pretty well. Okay, I guess I kind of got to go one by one. I really love it whenever they let Jason Alexander sing in a musical, because he surprisingly has a really good voice. I wish I didn't give him that silly accent, he doesn't seem particularly good at it and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, but for the most part, he does everything really great. The way he dances and sings more than makes up for it. The king and queen do a good job. Actually, I was kind of shocked that Whoopi Goldberg really only has one running joke in the whole thing, and she actually plays it okay, it legit gets a laugh out of me. I don't know why, I think it's just her delivery. And yes, I could totally make jokes about how the hell does a white man and a black woman give birth to an Asian son, but again, I think they make it clear this is Broadway rules, and the way that works, is you're paying a lot of money to hear some of the best singers and actors in the world, skin color be damned. You're putting down a lot of dough for this, you want the best of the best.
(Footage focusing on the direction and the choreography is shown, along with some brief footage from The Little Mermaid (2023))
Doug (vo): Because of that, the staging and the dancing and the sets are going to look a little bit more abstract and fake, but that's the idea. In something like Little Mermaid, it doesn't make sense, 'cause it's supposed to look realistic. But here, and other productions like this, it's not supposed to look real, it's supposed to look like a stage show.
(Footage focusing on Prince Christopher, the stepmother, the stepsisters, Calliope and Minerva, and the Fairy Godmother is shown)
Doug (vo): The prince has a pretty damn great voice. He might actually be my favorite singer in all this, and he also has the correct charm and charisma you're supposed to have for a part like this. The stepsisters are enjoyably tacky. I was a little surprised Bernardette Peters didn't add much to the role. That's a big time talent, and it was a little weird seeing her not make that big an impression in such a big part. But there is one scene that kind of makes up for her, when she discovers that it probably was Cinderella at the ball, and she pretty much straight up says, "Hey, even if the prince finds out it's you, it's not going to matter. He's not going to want you when he sees you for who you really are." And she just says it so confidently, you can tell she really believes it. Like, she doesn't have to lock her up in her room or anything, she's just, like, "Let the prince see you, you are legitimately nothing." And that is just so cruel, I kind of loved it. Now, of course, she does still do all the usual stuff where she tries to hide her away and everything, but I think it's because she knows the rule is, if the shoe fits, that's going to be the person who's going to be the bride, so might as well be the stepsisters. Whitney Houston's fine, all she has to do is sound great, and she always sounds great, so she's good.
(Footage of Cinderella is shown, along with footage from Celebrity Deathmatch)
Doug (vo): And then, of course, there's Brandy, and, uh...this is where things get a little complicated. Please make no mistake, I have no issue with Brandy as an artist. I think she has a nice voice, I enjoy her work. I'm not, like, a super fan, but I like her fine. But you see, there's an old show called Celebrity Deathmatch, and they kind of pinned her against somebody else as the show did, and whenever it showed her, they kind of portrayed her as this naive little toddler, like, holding on to this teddy bear and just being all smiles and roses and very naive. And I guess ever since I saw that, that's always kind of how I see her. And this role doesn't help. Not only is she legit struggling on some of these songs, but she does kind of look and act like a kid in a school play who heard this is how benignly charming is supposed to be played. With the exception of one song number where she pretends to be other things, I never really believe she was going through what she was supposed to be portraying she was going through. But here's the thing. It's kind of similar to watching Jerry Seinfeld or Mike Nelson, these people who also aren't really great actors, but you do get a joy of performance from them, and that joy does kind of rub off. Brandy is kind of the same. I never really sensed any ego from her, or at the very least, it never comes across in her performances. She just always looks like she is so happy to be exactly where she is, and like I said, we share a similar sentiment and are kind of happy for her. It doesn't feel like a forced America sweetheart persona like Barbara Streisand or Julia Roberts or any of these other people that just feel so fake when you see them. She legit just comes across like she's there to make people happy, be happy herself, and for this kind of production, I do think there's a legit charm to that.
(Footage focusing on the staging and cinematography is shown)
Doug (vo): I'm also really impressed by the staging in this. This was choreographed by Rob Marshall, who would go on to do Chicago and Little Mermaid and stuff like that. And say what you want about him, but he knows how to set up a musical number. This intro where Cinderella and the prince are singing in town, a lot of this is done in one shot, and the framing of the camera and where the people are positioned is so brilliantly executed. These shots would be hard to set up, even if you had a Tripod and could cut in between them. But the fact that all the crew, all the extras, and all the main singers are set up this well in this one shot...really makes me hate that Beauty and the Beast live-action remake even more, where they're just standing there doing nothing. Even the scene where they dance for the first time, it is this long, long shot that must have been such a pain in the ass to plan out, that I just watched it with my jaw to the ground. I can't imagine how much time it took to plan this all out, and it looks great.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): So, yeah, like I said, if you have even the tiniest interest in seeing Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, produced by Whitney Houston, made by Disney, and starring Brandy, you're going to be satisfied. It's corny and flawed, but that's kind of by design. It's a movie that's supposed to be talked about not after watching it, but while you're watching it. And like I said, a production like this isn't really for me, but I can definitely acknowledge when it's done well, and this is done well...for what it is. If you're looking for a smart, complex, interesting fairy tale, go see Ever After. But if you're looking for some light, cornball cheese, this is the Cinderella to check out.
(The final scene, showing everyone celebrating Cinderella and the prince's wedding, is shown)