Christmas Story 2
December 16, 2014
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Note: This transcript is currently incomplete.

(We start off today's episode with a Cinema Sins Movie Recipe. In the corner is a disclaimer saying "We taste, but don't swallow. The reactions are real. Do not try this at home." We then cut to the Nostaltia Critic and Jeremy from Cinema Sins in a kitchen.)

NC: Today, we're gonna show you how to make Christmas Story 2 eggnog.

Jeremy: Start off by finding the most beloved Christmas treat you can imagine, and pour only a drop of it into your blender. (NC takes a swig of eggnog before Jeremy puts a turkey baster into it, pulling out some of the eggnog, then putting just a few drops in the blender.) Because even though it was perfect the way it was, we need to update it despite the fact that nobody asked us to.

NC: (Showing off a package of Smart Dogs before dumping them into the blender.) Next, you'll want to put in a vegan hotdog, because clearly there's no meat to this product whatsoever.

Jeremy: After that, you'll want to find a drumstick that's been needlessly used for slapping. (He slaps NC across the face with a chicken drumstick.) Renditions of classics often contain unnecessary slapstick.

(The guys put their chins in their hands.)

NC: What's that? You didn't laugh at that joke? Well then, clearly we're making the right recipe.

Jeremy: Naturally, you're gonna need stars. Look deep in the back of your fridge for the leftover star fruit that's expired way past its prime. It hasn't aged well and you probably forgot it even existed. (NC pulls out said star fruit and tosses it in the blender, giving a thumbs up.) But it's cheap, it's available and that's all that really matters.

NC: (Pulling out a pitcher of water) Finally, water it down as much as you can so you can't recognize what it was trying to replicate in the first place. (NC fills the blender full of water along with the rest of the ingredients.)

Jeremy: Blend whatever charm it had left into a creamy liquid, ready to be pointlessly forced down your throat. (The ingredients are thoroughly blended.)

NC: Be sure it's poured into a glass that looks festive and tasteful, deceiving you into what you're about to subject yourself to... (The drink is poured into two Christmas mugs.)

Jeremy: Finally, garnish with a lit cigarette, and enjoy. (A lit cigarette is tossed into one of the cups. Both looking very unhappy about what happens next, NC and Jeremy tap their cups together before taking a drink. The two of them soon run to the kitchen sink, puking their guts out!) Well, what other reaction would you have expected?

(And now we come to our opening!)

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