|
Brave
| |
|
| |
|
Release Date
|
August 3, 2022
|
|
Running Time
|
27:21
|
|
Previous Review
|
|
|
Next Review
|
|
|
Link
|
|
|
Video
|
 |
(After the Channel Awesome logo and NC title sequence opening, we open on a glass display containing many Oscar Awards (which looks it may be at the lobby of the Walt Disney Family Museum). One of them, an Oscar Award for Soul (Malcolm), is looking around the collection in amazement.)
Inside Out Oscar (Doug): Welcome, Soul. Welcome to Disney's Oscar Collection.
Soul Oscar: Thank you, Inside Out It's even bigger than I imagined.
Inside Out Oscar: Well, that's what you get for constantly pushing the boundary of excellence.
Soul Oscar: Oh, my God, is that Frozen?
Frozen Oscar (Heather): It certainly is! Welcome to the collection!
Inside Out Oscar: And just next to her is Toy Story 3.
Soul Oscar: Holy smokes! You were nominated for Best Picture, too, weren't you?
Toy Story 3 Oscar (Walter): I certainly was.
Soul Oscar: Oh, man, there's the first Oscar for any animated picture, Snow White.
(The famous honorary Oscar Walt Disney had received for this landmark film, a regular-sized Oscar and seven smaller ones, is shown. The seven tiny Oscars all have the heads of crying babies.)
Snow White Oscar (Tamara): Kill me.
Soul Oscar: Oh, wow. I can't believe I'm in the presence of such greatness.
Frozen Oscar: Believe it. Every film here was the best animated feature of its year.
Toy Story 3 Oscar: That's right. From Coco to Zootopia to Finding Nemo.
Soul Oscar: Oh, what an honor.
Offscreen voice: (clears throat)
(An Oscar Award for Brave (Aiyanna) is shown. She bats her eyes at the other Oscars.)
Inside Out Oscar: Oh, yes, and then there's Brave.
Brave Oscar: (speaking in a Scottish brogue) That's right. I won ten years ago.
Soul Oscar: Wait, Brave won for Best Animated Feature?
Frozen Oscar: Yyyyeah...she's a little like Suicide Squad.
Toy Story 3 Oscar: Everyone always forgets they won an Oscar.
Inside Out Oscar: Except when someone wants to point out the Oscars don't know what they're talking about.
Brave Oscar: Excuse me, I was clearly the best animated film that year.
Soul Oscar: Well, I guess if it was a slow year.
Brave Oscar: I beat out losers like ParaNorman...
Soul Oscar: Holy shit, she beat out ParaNorman?!
Brave Oscar: ...that forgettable Wreck-It Ralph flick...
Soul Oscar: Dude, there was another Disney film that could beat her?
Frozen Oscar: Two, actually.
Brave Oscar: That's right. The Tim Burton movie, Frankenweenie!
Soul Oscar: Yeah, I'm shocked you beat that, too.
Brave Oscar: Now, here we all are, in the home of the brave!
Soul Oscar: Huh, that's...huh.
Toy Story 3 Oscar: Look, nobody talks about her. The more you forget she's here, the...the more you forget she's here.
Brave Oscar: Did you know halfway through production, they switched out directors. You never would have known, it flowed so naturally.
Frozen Oscar: Yes, a...Scottish Grimms' Fairy Tale. They go hand in hand.
Soul Oscar: Oh, come on now, she's not that bad.
Inside Out Oscar: We know, it's just...she isn't that good either.
Soul Oscar: Okay, maybe she's not Oscar-worthy. Maybe she's not the best animated film. Maybe the Oscar voters clearly just saw the trailer and not the film itself...
Brave Oscar: Can you get to the "however" part?
Soul Oscar: However, there are firsts that this movie did that should be given attention to.
Brave Oscar: Ah! So you think I'm as old as the movie hoped?
Soul Oscar: When did I say that?
Brave Oscar: You didn't not say it.
Soul Oscar: How do I get out of this?
Frozen Oscar: Playoff music!
(Said playoff music is heard.)
Soul Oscar: And I want to give a big thank you to my agent, and God, and...and thank you, thank you, thank you!
Brave Oscar: Ugh! They never give us enough time.
(The title for Brave is shown, followed by clips from the movie.)
NC (vo): It has been ten years since the release of Pixar's Brave, and if you didn't know that, nobody would blame you. Brave is one of those almost forgotten Pixar films, in that if you bring it up, people do remember seeing it, but rarely remember if it was any good or more commonly if it was a Pixar production or a Disney production. It certainly doesn't look, feel or act like any other Pixar movie, but it sure does look, feel and act a whole bunch like a lot of Disney movies. At the time, though, there was a lot of build up for this flick. The trailers were shrouded in mystery, as we saw a Scottish princess traveling through the woods with a bow and arrow, looking for spirits. It almost had a Miyazaki feel and got a lot of people excited for something different from the usual "objects coming to life" movies. They promised something mysterious and epic and gave us a lot of what we've already seen from Disney already. It still made money, and I don't know anyone who loathes this movie but the response by many seems to range from underwhelming to forgetful. However, there surprisingly are a lot of firsts this movie accomplished and, dare I say it, was ahead of its time in a few areas just not the areas you were probably hoping for in a film like this. There's quite a bit to talk about, so let's not waste any time.
(We see NC in his room again, surrounded by posters of other Pixar films: Cars 3, Monsters University, Toy Story 4 and Lightyear.)
NC: Let's take a look at one of Pixar's "I didn't hate it" collection, Brave.
NC (vo): So, I'll be honest, I totally Mandela Effected this movie, because I remember it opening up with the main character's narration.
Narrator: Some see our destiny is tied to the land, as much a part of us as we are of it.
NC (vo): But it turns out there's an extra intro showing her as a child and her father battling a bear.
NC: Why'd I forget? Because it's totally pointless.
NC (vo): There's nothing here that isn't discovered later, aside from baby Brave dolls selling like hot cakes because of this, and bears in Scotland are really good at sneaking up on people.
(A bear sneaks up on young Merida's clan. She screams. Her father, King Fergus, notices the bear.)
Fergus (voice of Billy Connolly): Mor'du!
NC: How'd that thing get there without being noticed?!
NC (vo): Look at the space between him and the forest. Was he like...
(NC is seen wearing a hat and smoking a pipe.)
NC: (Irish accent) Oh, yes, lovely day for a walk...
(He suddenly runs his hand over his head, which turns into a bear's head.)
NC: I WAS A BEAR THE WHOLE TIME!! (He screams and roars like a bear at the same time!.)
NC (vo): Even the placement of the title seems a little random.
Fergus: Come on, you!!
(The bear (Mor'du) bites down, and the title for the movie is shown.)
NC (vo): Of course!
NC: Because the film is about (points to camera) him and the bear, and no, it's not!
NC (vo): Like I said, the film wants to try the intro again, so we get an opening narration from Merida, played by Kelly MacDonald, who tells us how her father lost his leg to a bear. So again, makes that intro kind of pointless.
NC: Like I said before, though, there are a lot of firsts in this film.
NC (vo): This is the first time Pixar actually changed engines to take on more detail, and (A shot of the interior of the Axiom from WALL-E is shown in the upper-left corner.) comparing these landscapes to the ones before, you can tell. It's also the first Pixar movie to have a female protagonist and even the first one to have (A shot of Brenda Chapman is shown.) a female director. On that note, I think Disney said, "Okay, if we're gonna do that, we're making her a princess, because by Haggis, (A shot of other Disney Princesses is shown in the corner.) we're not straying that far."
Merida: Whoosh! One swipe, his sword shattered...
NC: And I can't be the first to say this, but Merida's design is freakin' phenomenal.
NC (vo): No Disney lead before and after has looked like her.
(Cut to a shot of Rapunzel and Belle in Ralph Breaks the Internet.)
NC (vo): Where most Disney women have very similar looks...
(Cut to a shot of Snow White, both in the original film and later in the aforementioned Ralph Breaks the Internet, where her appearance simply matches those of the other Disney Princesses.)
NC (vo): Even if they don't at first, they will eventually.
(Cut back to Brave.)
NC (vo): ...Merida really stands out: the sharp but tiny eyes, those piercing turquoise irises, that wild fiery hair that has a life of its own.
(Cut to a shot of all the Disney Princesses, including Merida.)
NC (vo): If you were to show me the Disney Princesses lined up, I'd say, "They all look nice, but what's her [Merida's] story? She's totally different."
(An image of Merida is shown with her design in Ralph Breaks the Internet labeled "AT FIRST", indicating that she has the exact same look as the rest of them.)
NC: The downside, though, is, she's not different.
NC (vo): Tell me if you've heard this one: Merida doesn't like being a princess. She hates being told what to do and often escapes her authoritative trappings to partake in her free spirit song quota most princess movies have. It's funny that so many of these women are so bent on not being the typical princess that (A shot of Belle in her village attire is shown in the corner.) they ironically become the typical princess. But okay, here's a biggie I noticed: Merida has a lot of run-ins with her mother, Elinor, played by Emma Thompson. Nowadays, mother-daughter confrontation productions are everywhere. They're practically the new hot subject.
NC: But back then, there weren't that many.
NC (vo): And it's not like an evil mother or anything like that, it's just a mother and daughter working out their differences. And at the time, I thought it was unique. There was a big budget animated film with that at the center. It's big bucks now, but back then, it was kinda new territory.
(Queen Elinor has dressed up her daughter as a proper, royal, ladylike princess in preparation to meet a group of lords from other clans, whose sons they brought to Merida for her betrothal. However, Merida feels visibly uncomfortable, even more so because she's dressed up in a tight corset.)
Elinor: Merida?
Merida: Mom?
Elinor: Just...remember to smile.
NC (vo): What's not new territory? Her being forced to marry someone she doesn't love or even know.
Elinor: The lords are presenting their sons. The clans have accepted!
NC: Uh, is that in the Scottish sense, (The poster for BlacKkKlansman is shown in the corner.) or is this about to be a Spike Lee joint?
NC (vo): She obviously doesn't want to marry, and one of the things you might pick up quickly on is, the voice acting in this is pretty good.
Elinor: (to Fergus) Even I had reservations when I faced betrothal, but we can't just run away from who we are.
Merida: (to her horse, Angus) I don't want my life to be over.
NC (vo): There's a lot of great talent in this, like Billy Connolly, Robbie Coltrane, and Craig Ferguson. Great comedic talents that sadly aren't allowed to be that funny in this – unless you count screaming vowels funny.
(The visiting clans all get into a brawl over the betrothal.)
Dingwall (voice of Coltrane): Our alliance is over!
Macintosh (voice of Ferguson): We'll decide which one of our sons–
Fergus: Which one of your sons intend to marry my daughter?!
NC: Which if you watch my show, you probably do.
NC (vo): We're giving a brief, but pretty cool, backstory about four princes who were given land to share, but one decided to take it all for himself.
Elinor: The oldest prince wanted to rule the land for himself. He followed his own path.
NC: His name was Prince Bear Roar, son of Forced Shadowing.
NC (vo): The story is to teach Merida not to be selfish, but funny enough, an extra feature on the Blu-Ray called The Legend of Mor'du actually gives more the epic story I think people were looking for with this film. But heck with that, we gotta get Merida corseted up, which I don't think corsets were in Scotland at the time...
(Indeed, they weren't, as a snippet of the Wikipedia article on corsets pops up, mentioning that they did not come into fashion until Elizabethan times, six hundred years after the film's setting.)
NC (vo): Nope!
(We're then shown a montage of other scenes in other films showing corsets in anachronistic settings: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Corpse Bride, Titanic.)
NC (vo): But oh, adventure films love it as a symbol of oppression! The three clans show up with their kings all offering their sons to take Merida's hand. Once in a while, the humor can be pretty good. Like, I love how one of the kings is named MacGuffin. Also, this got a laugh out of me...
(King Dingwall stands next to a tall brawny man, presumably his son.)
Dingwall: My only son with one arm. He was... Oh.
(Annoyed, Dingwall reaches out behind the tall man and pulls out his real son into view, a scrawny-looking, dopey-looking boy with half-closed eyelids.)
Dingwall: He was steering the ship.
NC: This is mot only a good punchline, but for a few seconds...
NC (vo): ...I love wondering why he has four legs. But we haven't had any zany slapstick yet, so...
(A fight breaks out among the visiting clans, with Fegus joining in, along with Merida's three younger brothers, Harris, Hubert and Hamish.)
NC: (visibly uncomfortable) Yeah, I touched on this a little earlier, but the humor in this Pixar movie weirdly isn't that great.
NC (vo): Granted, it's not annoying, but it's not funny either. Like I said, once in a while, you'll get a cute joke, like Elinor pulling all these giant men's ears, but mainly, it's...
(A clip of Dingwall lifting up his kilt to the other lords is shown.)
Dingwall: Feast your eyes!
(The other lords recoil in disgust.)
NC: BUTTS!
(A later clip of the lords is shown. They had been imprisoned in the dungeon, but escaped by climbing out using their kilts, so now their rears are completely exposed.)
NC: Ooh, I can play that clip again!
(He pulls up the earlier scene of himself.)
NC: BUTTS!
NC (vo): The princes all take part in an archery contest to win Merida, but...
(A clip of Street Fighter 2 is inserted into the scene...)
Offscreen voice: Here comes a new challenger!
(Said new challenger removes its hood, turning out to be Merida herself.)
NC: I love how she keeps her face hidden like nobody can figure out who it is.
(The scene is shown again. Then cut to a clip of The Wrong Trousers.)
Wallace (voice of Peter Sallis): Good grief, it's you!
Merida: I'll be shooting from my own hand!
(Against her mother's stern warning not to, Merida shoots all three bull's-eyes, even splitting Dingwall's son's arrow, supposedly winning the contest.)
NC (vo): She pulls a Robin Hood because again, this film thinks we've never seen any other Disney flick before, and her mother finally has had enough.
(Having brazenly disobeyed Elinor, the next thing she knows, Merida finds herself staring face-to-face with her mother, who looks at her with dark fury in her eyes. Elinor takes Merida to her room in a rage.)
Merida: I followed the rules!
Elinor: You don't know what you've done!
Merida: You don't care! Listen!
Elinor: I am the queen!
(Then, much to Merida's horror, Elinor tosses her bow and arrow into the fireplace.)
NC (vo): As much as I respect they're doing a mother-daughter story at a time when that really wasn't much of a thing...
NC: ...I didn't really find myself getting that invested, and maybe you can see why.
Merida: This whole marriage is what you want. Do you even bother to ask what I want?
Elinor: Acting like a child.
Merida: And you're a beast!
NC: Yeah, it feels like placeholder dialogue, doesn't it?
NC (vo): These aren't terrible lines, but absolutely nothing about them stands out. It's like they said, "Well obviously, we're gonna write something punchier later," and then never got to it. I spent less time listening to what they're actually saying and do the dumb American thing of repeating what part of their accent sound funny to me.
Merida: Walk around telling me what to do and what not to do...
NC: (snorts; mock Scottish accent) Do.
Merida: ...trying to make me be like you...
NC: (snorts; Scottish accent) You. (normal again) Sorry, this is so much more fun!
(The scenes where Merida slashes the family tapestry which shocks Elinor. Then Merida rides away with her horse into the forest and soon encountering the Will-o'-the-Wisps which lead her to a cottage.)
NC (vo): Merida slashes the tapestry with all of her symbolism and goes riding into the forest where sprites, said to lead you to your destiny, await. Okay, so at this point, the movie isn't bad, but you are waiting for the actual meat of the film to kick in. But, as mentioned before, the focus is more on Hans Christian Andersen/Grimm's Fairy Tales rather than Scottish tales.
(The opening scene with Fergus and his men fighting Mor'du while the younger Merida and Elinor escape is shown again.)
NC (vo): In fact, they apparently picked the 10th century because Scotland still had a few bears then, which makes you wonder why the hell they even set this in Scotland to begin with. And you definitely feel that Grimm's Fairy Tale touch when she discovers a witch that, yeah, again, feels more like a Baba Yaga mascot for a Russian grocery store than a Scottish witch.
Merida: ...witch!
Witch (voice of Julie Walters): Woodcarver.
Merida: The Wisps, lady!
Witch: Woodcarver!
Merida: You'll change my fate!
Witch: Woodcarver!
Merida: You see–
Witch: Too many unsatisfied customers!
NC: This is also where you're like, "Oh, yeah. Pixar movie."
NC (vo): This whole scene you can see out of something like Pixar's Witches. (A poster for a made-up Pixar movie called Witches, featuring the witch in this movie, is shown.) It doesn't quite match the rest of the film's tone.
Witch: Last time I did this, was for a prince.
Crow (voice of Steve Purcell): Easy on the eyes, tight pants.
NC (vo): (squawks like a parrot, then as Iago from Aladdin) The lamp!
(The witch takes a magic pastry out of her cauldron. Merida returns to the castle with the pastry to give to her mother.)
NC (vo): The witch says she can help change her mother's mind by giving her a magic pastry. Merida does it, makes her mother incredibly ill, yet the whole time it looks like she's dying, she keeps asking if she stills has to marry.
(Elinor gets into her bed.)
Elinor: My head's spinning like a top.
Merida: How do you feel about the married now? You might have something new to say on the marriage?
(With a groan, Elinor falls off the bed, wrapped in her blanket.)
Merida: I'll just tell them the wedding's off then.
(Cut to an image of a tombstone is bearing Queen Elinor's name.)
NC (vo): (as Merida) So anyway as I was saying, getting married's not all that bad.
(Cut back to the movie as Elinor's groaning becomes more distorted as she gets back up again, still covered in the blanket.)
NC (vo): Elinor makes weird sounds, starts to transform, and...
(It is revealed that the pastry had transformed Elinor into a bear! She becomes shocked by the bear shadow behind her and moves back beside Merida, who is shocked by her bear form.)
NC (vo): So, yeah...
NC: ...I think we should start our count of "Oh, We're Doing This".
(An edited frame of Merida rolling her eyes with text beside it saying "Oh, We're Doing This" is shown with the number 1 in tally, which appears below the image of Merida. We then go to a commercial break. Upon return from the break, the movie resumes with Elinor having turned into a bear, much to Merida's shock and fear.)
NC (vo): So, we're about halfway through the story, and the mystery is finally revealed of what kind of movie this is: Mother Bear.
(The poster for Brother Bear is shown, but with the letters "B-R" letters in the title crossed out and an "M" added on top.)
NC (vo): That's right, a Disney film that made them no money, but for some reason, they wanted to try again – in Scotland! (sighs) I don't know, was anyone excited when they found out this is where they were going with all this?
(Footage from the teaser trailer of Brave is shown again.)
NC (vo): Is this at all what you thought the story might be from the trailers? It's funny because the original title was The Bow and the Bear*, and while that would've been more honest advertising...
- NOTE: The title is actually The Bear and the Bow.
(Cut back to Brave, with Merida and Elinor trying to find the witch's cottage to change Elinor back, only to have no luck. Elinor tries to adapt to her new bear form.)
NC (vo): ...would you be excited to see that? But to the film's credit, not only does the bear not talk in this...
NC: (impressed) ...but the animation on her is really great!
NC (vo): Maybe I have a soft spot for characters who can't talk (Shots of Mr. Bean, a mute Ariel in human form, and Gromit are shown in the upper-left corner.) because they have to communicate from more creative ways, but the expressions on her face are incredibly well done. I always know what she's thinking and what she's trying to get across and her reactions are some of the few genuine laughs in the movie.
(Cut to a scene of Fergus, the clan lords and the other men search the castle for the bear, not realizing it's actually Fergus' transformed wife.)
NC (vo): Which is good, because once everybody discovers there's a bear in the castle, everyone chases after her in, again, pretty boring bit of slapstick.
(Maudie, the nursemaid of Merida's brothers, spots Queen Elinor as a bear and runs away, screaming. She almost runs into a sword held out in her path by Fergus, who recognizes her.)
Fergus: Maudie!
NC: (as Fergus) I almost decapitated another maid, but this time, I had a good reason!
NC (vo): Merida tells her three little brothers to distract them and...again, this is Pixar; some of the best comedy in animation. Are you getting any laughs out of this?
(Merida's brothers take some teddy bears and shine a light on them so that they look like the bear in the castle and the clan lords will go hunting it instead of the real bear. The shot of Merida rolling her eyes next to the phrase "Oh, We're Doing This" reappears, with the number 2 in tally. Cut to a clip of The Addams Family, showing Gomez and Morticia Addams watching a movie (presumably Brave) in a theater. They appear bored by it. Cut back to the movie, as the brothers trap the lords in a tower, but they escape by climbing down using their kilts, leaving their butts exposed.)
NC (vo): And like I mentioned before...
Fergus: Right! (They walk off, naked from the waist down.)
NC: BUTTS!
NC (vo): Merida and Elinor make it back to the witch, but her cabin is abandoned, and, again in a total tone change, the witch has a cauldron answering machine.
(The cauldron boils, and a form of the witch appears from within.)
Witch's image: If you'd like to inquire about portraits, pour vial one into the cauldron.
(The image of Merida rolling her eyes next to the phrase "Oh, We're Doing This" appears again, with the number 3 in tally.)
Witch's image: If you'd like a menu in Gaelic, vial two.
NC: Now, once more, to the film's credit, even though the joke doesn't fit here, I feel like this is the kind of humor you see more in Disney fantasy films.
NC (vo): I guess you could argue it kind of started with (An image of Flynn Rider's wanted poster (showing Rider's misshapen nose) is shown.) Tangled, but something about this joke in particular I can see much more in a (An image of Olaf from Frozen is shown.) Frozen or (An image of Ian and Barley Lightfoot from Onward is shown.) an Onward movie: a self-aware reference to modern day that doesn't quite break the fourth wall. Again, for all this movie's issues, there are quite a few nuggets that gave way to some real Disney gold in the future.
(In the movie, Merida tries to figure out how to break the spell by filling the cauldron with all the vials in the room. However, she puts in too many and the cauldron goes crazy. The witch's image appears one last time.)
Witch's image: Have a lovely day!
(There is then a bright explosion of light, and the witch's cabin is gone, leaving Merida and Elinor out in the woods once again.)
NC (vo): Thankfully, bears survive magic explosions.
NC: I think they know the audience doesn't care enough to question it anymore.
NC (vo): And Merida tries to think about what to do while remembering how loving her mother truly was.
(Merida has a flashback to her younger days as Elinor hugs her.)
Elinor: I'm here. I'll always be right here.
NC (vo; as Elinor): Unless I become a bear, in which case I'll never forgive ya. (as Merida) Kinda specific! (as Elinor) Well, I'm specific. (normal) As Merida shows Elinor the advantages of roughing it, Elinor maybe learns the lesson too well, as she starts to take on the mind of a bear without any control.
(Elinor suddenly and temporarily turns wild, much to Merida's unease.)
Merida: Mum?
(Elinor raises her paw to attack Merida. Fortunately, Elinor regains her senses in the nick of time.)
NC: (impressed) This is the one element of the plot that's legit really interesting!
NC (vo): It gives a time limit not only to saving her mother, but maybe herself as we see a bear naturally would want to tear her to ribbons.
(Then Merida and Elinor spot the path of sprites, which leads into the mountains far ahead.)
NC (vo): But, oh, no, the sprites show the incredibly long way to go...
(It then cuts to Merida and Elinor reaching the path's end in the misty ruins of the castle, which are apparently not far from them.)
NC (vo): Oh, it was fast. ..as they discover the chamber where the evil prince used to live and discover something similar happened when he was separated from his brothers.
Merida: The spell... It's happened before...
(We are shown a vision of the prince destroying the stone carving like how Merida slashed the tapestry. As this happens, his head suddenly turns into that of Mor'du for a split second before the vision ends. Merida gasps in horror.)
NC (vo): Yeah...
NC: (shrugs) ...I guess Scottish magic is very bear-based. Not much variety in their spells.
NC (vo): If Cinderella's Fairy Godmother was Scottish, she'd probably look like this.
(An edited image is shown of Cinderella's Fairy Godmother from Cinderella alongside a photoshopped image of a woman in a bear costume. In the film, upon realizing what really happened to the prince, Merida soon encounters Mor'du standing behind her.)
Merida: Mor'du...
(Mor'du roars. Merida shoots an arrow at the bear, but to no effect. She fires another arrow at him as the bear charges at her, only for the arrow to snap at his face upon impact. She gasps and retreats.)
NC: Not to harshen the mood, but that's half of Merida's fighting right there.
(Footage from the trailer is shown.)
NC (vo): Like I said, all the advertising showing her ready for action, standing alone against the odds...
(Now cut to this same scene in the actual movie, showing Merida escaping Mor'du and the castle ruins with Elinor in tow.)
NC (vo): She shoots two arrows that do nothing, and half her fight scenes are over!
(Cut to two shots of Steven Seagal, one younger and then the other much older.)
NC (vo): That's like advertising a young Steven Seagal movie and getting the action of an old Steven Seagal movie.
(Now cut back to Brave.)
NC (vo): It's a little misleading. Now, part of that might be because in the climax, the mother and daughter switch roles, which I do kinda like.
(Merida and Elinor make their way back to the castle, where, without Elinor there to keep the peace, they are openly fighting with each other. Elinor tries to keep hidden while Merida tries to defuse the situation herself.)
NC (vo): With the clans ready to go to war, Merida uses diplomacy instead of brute force to solve the situation. She's even coached by her mother, who's so moved by her actions that she tells her not to marry.
(Elinor makes pantomiming gestures toward Merida, trying to guide her in what to tell the clans.)
Merida: ...and...break tradition...
(The surprised clans talk among themselves what she's trying to say.)
NC: (as Merida) He also...loves...Santina's. (An audience is heard cheering.)
NC (vo): It'd be great if she misinterpreted her signing, though.
NC: (as Merida) I want to declare war on the lot of ya.
(He looks up to see Elinor making pantomiming motions and shaking her head to indicate that that's not what he was supposed to say.)
NC: (as Merida) Especially the kingdoms with small penises. (The bear gestures again.) Which is all of ya!
(An arrow is fired at NC's head in response. Just before the arrow makes contact, the screen goes black briefly. Then we cut back to the movie.)
NC (vo): I should also point out this is the first Disney Princess movie where the princess doesn't get together with anyone, (The posters for Raya and the Last Dragon and Moana are shown, in order.) which, again, is something that would be adapted in future movies.
(Merida runs back up to her mother, singing and dancing.)
Merida: (singing) De, de de, de, de, de, de...
NC: (weirded out) Strange thing to do. Don't do that again.
NC (vo): But the King gets the wrong idea when he sees the Queen's room has been ripped apart.
Fergus: (upon discovering Elinor's trashed room and believing she was killed by Mor'du) ELINOR!
(The edited frame of Merida rolling her eyes with the "Oh, We're Doing This" text is shown yet again with the number 4 in tally, as the next shot shows the exterior of the castle with lightning flashing in the stormy background. The next scene with Fergus seeing Elinor as a bear and protecting Merida, and the bear later escaping the castle from the pursuing clansmen after accidentally hurting Merida, are shown.)
NC (vo): Yeah, he thinks the Queen's been attacked by the bear, and they try to hunt her down.
(The scene of Merida trying to tell Fergus that the bear is Elinor, but he doesn't listen, is shown.)
Merida: It's your wife, Elinor!
Fergus: I'll not risk losing you, too! (He locks her in her room.)
Merida: No, Dad!
NC (vo; as Fergus): I've gone through my arc of listening to you. Now I'm gonna go right back to not listening to ya!
(The edited frame of Merida rolling her eyes with the "Oh, We're Doing This" text is shown again with the number 5 in tally. Then she notices three bear cubs approach her. It's actually her brothers, who have also turned into bears after eating the witch's pastry.)
NC (vo): We see her three brothers ate the pastry, too, turning into bears, and if you're like me, you totally even forgot they were in the movie. So she has them chase after the maid, who has the key. And man, how far the comedy's come in this film. We've gone from BUTTS to BOOBS!
(Maudie spots two of the bear cubs, but she is confused, as there's supposed to be a third one as well. She then looks up and spots the third bear in the rafters above and gasps.)
NC: Eh...
(The shot of Merida rolling her eyes with the "Oh, We're Doing This" text, with the number 6 in tally, starts to appear, but NC stops it.)
NC: Number six, you may want to be on deck for this...
(The third bear cub jumps down from the rafters, landing right in Merida's breasts. One of the other two cubs looks away, covering his eyes, as this happens. Then, as we cut back to NC, the shot of Merida rolling eyes with the "Oh, We're Doing This" text and number 6 appear fully. NC bows briefly and nods.)
NC (vo): And if you're wondering why the story demanded them to be bears in this scene, even though it totally could have worked with them as humans...
(One of the last scenes of the movie is shown with Merida's brothers turned back to normal and completely naked, with their butts exposed to the world.)
NC (vo): Well, because of a certain call-back joke that begins in "B" and ends in "-UTTS!" Speaking of forgetting things in the movie... Oh, yeah, the sculptures. Oh, yeah, the Mor'du bear. Oh, yeah, the sprites! How can so little be happening in this movie, yet it leaves so little an impression, I keep forgetting about it?!
NC: So get ready, here's the other half of Merida's fighting.
(The lords have captured Elinor with ropes. Fergus raises his sword to kill his transformed wife, but Merida suddenly appears, knocks one of the lords down, and, with a furious yell, snatches another clansman's sword, and runs up to her father, blocking his sword strike to prevent him from killing Elinor.)
NC (vo): Yeah, it's her dad! And it's about as short as the first one!
(The scene with Merida making her speech from earlier in the movie is shown.)
NC (vo): Now, again, this could tie into the fact that she gives in and goes diplomatic...
(Now cut to Elinor breaking free and fighting the invading Mor'du in order to protect Merida.)
NC (vo): ...while the mother gives in and goes ass-kicking on Mor'du, who tries to kill everyone.
NC: But we've seen plenty of the mother being diplomatic, but not much of Merida kicking ass.
(Merida tries to back away from Mor'du during the climax.)
NC (vo): Even when she's confronted by the bear, look at this!
(Mor'du pins down a frightened Merida and leans in, roaring ferociously as Merida screams in fear, before cutting to the teaser yet again.)
NC (vo): Yeah, I don't think people would get excited...
(A made-up poster for the film is shown, showing an image of Mor'du roaring at the horrified Merida with the film's title and a tagline underneath it saying "Um... Tough?")
NC (vo): ...if the advertising showed what her action scenes were really like.
Fergus: (to Mor'du) COME ON! I'll take you with my BARE HANDS!
(However, Mor'du easily defeats him by striking him and throwing him aside.)
NC (vo; as Fergus): Ow! My bare hands were hurt by your bear hands!
(Elinor and Mor'du fight, before the scene where Mor'du is ultimately crushed by one of the sculptures and his spirit appears.)
NC (vo): Like I said, Elinor does fight him off, and even his spirit, I guess, is allowed to rest. It's so stoically brief though, it kinda feels like Puddy from Seinfeld signing off.
(Mor'du's spirit simply nods proudly to Merida and Elinor for freeing him.)
David Puddy (Patrick Warburton) (audio from Seinfeld): I'm not the one going to Hell.
(Mor'du's spirit transforms into a wisp as it disappears. Then Elinor becomes feral, presumably for good, much to Merida's sadness.)
NC (vo): Sadly, though, it looks like too much time has passed, and Elinor's mind has gone full bear.
(Merida cries in sadness as she sorrowfully hugs her transformed mother, after finally confessing that it was all her fault for turning her mother into a bear in the first place.)
Merida: (crying) You've never given up on me...
NC (vo): Oh...
NC: ...it's all good, just do the Shaun of the Dead ending. Except instead of video games, you can play caber toss or something.
(Suddenly, at the last second, however, and much to Merida's surprise, Elinor returns to human form after Merida had mended the bond and stitched the tapestry back together earlier. This makes Merida and Fergus quite happy.)
NC (vo): No, because they mended their bond in time, she turns back to normal. Just don't ask what she sounds like.
(The clip of Elinor talking to Merida is shown, but with bear sound effects from earlier were dubbed over her speaking. Then we are again shown the clip of the triplets, also returned to normal, running butt-naked towards their family, much to the happiness of Merida, Elinor and Fergus, as well as to the surprise of the clan lords.)
NC (vo): Don't say we didn't follow through with our running BUTTS joke! Yeah, I'm sorry, what mended bond did the boys work on off-screen to change back?
(And the movie ends with Merida and Elinor riding through the countryside on horseback.)
Merida (narrating): Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.
NC (vo): Yeah, we had to spell out what the title meant, because... (The poster for the movie is shown again.) again, the advertising sure didn't.
NC: Personally, I'm a bigger fan of the original ending.
(A clip of the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man is shown, showing Malus in a bear costume and the Sister, but with an image of Merida's head photoshopped onto the latter's head, was shown.)
Sister: What is it? What's wrong, sister?
(Malus punches out the Sister.)
NC: But to be fair, every movie would be better with that ending.
(Footage of the film plays out one more time as NC gives his closing thoughts.)
NC (vo): And that was Brave; still very underwhelming in many respects, but in several others, a little ahead of the game. Yes, Pixar didn't seem to take too much from their other films, but Disney sure did. It took a lot of the ideas it started and ran with them to make more fully fleshed-out movies. And even with that said, the film isn't awful. It's really not even that bad. It's just...not what I and...I feel like a lot of other audiences were looking for. It's a flick I hear went through a lot of production issues, and it definitely shows, but there's been many more production hell movies that turned out a lot worse. While I can't think of anyone who quotes this film or recites its lessons, I can't think of anyone who really gets angry with it either. It's definitely not the best animated film that came out that year, but...
(Cut to the poster for The Prince of Egypt.)
NC (vo): ...seeing how The Prince of Egypt never got a directing Oscar...
(Cut back to Brave.)
NC (vo): ...and one of those directors also directed this, I guess you could say it balances out. Not a great film, not a terrible film, but surprisingly an interesting film to discuss.
(The Oscars from the beginning of the video are shown again.)
Brave Oscar: See? I'm not all that bad.
Frozen Oscar: Well...maybe we've been a little too hard on her.
Soul Oscar: Yeah. Now come on, everybody, let's get excited to watch the next Oscars.
Inside Out Oscar: (laughs) None of us actually watch it.
Soul Oscar: You don't?
Brave Oscar: No! It's the Oscars! Nobody wants to sit through that bore-fest!
Soul Oscar: But isn't Encanto coming out? That's sure to win.
Toy Story 3 Oscar: Yeah, but none of us are actually gonna watch the ceremony.
Soul Oscar: Eh, maybe you have a point. I mean, what's gonna happen at the 2022 Oscars that's gonna be worth–
(Smash cut to a black screen with the words "ONE 2022 OSCARS LATER..." We then see the Soul Oscar looking at another Oscar, presumably for Encanto.)
Soul Oscar: You must have stories.
Encanto Oscar (Joanna Kay): I have stories.
Channel Awesome Tagline – Merida (singing): De, de de, de, de, de, de...
(The credits roll.)