Big Fat Liar

Big Fat Liar
Aired	September 11, 2018
Running Time	20:02
Previous Review	Freddy Got Fingered
Next Review	TBA
Link	http://channelawesome.com/big-fat-liar-nostalgia-critic/

(Channel Awesome logo and NC opening)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (A shot of the following appears in the corner...) Paul Giamatti is one of our greatest living actors. And (The image is changed to Giamatti as...) the Rhino from The Amazing Spider-Man 2. (A third shot of Giamatti as Marty Wolf from Big Fat Liar (skin turned blue) appears in the opposite corner) And this blue guy who tormented Malcolm in the Middle. (beat) We're talking about that one.

(The title of the 2002 movie Big Fat Liar is shown, followed by clips)

NC (vo): In 2002, a couple of rising stars were on the rise...rise, Frankie Muniz being Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle, and Paul Giamatti being that guy I knew was good, but I never bothered to learn his name until I saw him in (poster of...) Sideways.

NC: Yeah, you all did. Don't lie.

NC (vo): So Universal said these two must be in a film together. The... screen demands it. Oh, and fit Amanda Bynes in there, because she's something for a minute, too. And thus, we got Big Fat Liar, an adequately possible hit. Though past my time when it came out, these's a lot of kids who grew up with this movie and seem to remember it with fond memories. Well, I'll be the judge of what you remember fondly. It's time to take a look at this film and see if it holds up to...the okay praises that have been projected onto it. Let's see the film that actually landed Paul Giamatti the role of John Adams. (The shot of Giamatti as John Adams in the eponymous 2008 mini-series is shown)

NC: I'm... actually giving a minute to see how many of you guys are looking that up to see if that's true. This is Big Fat Liar.

(The movie starts by showing the 14-year-old boy Jason Shepherd (Muniz) who rides on a skateboard to school)

NC (vo): We open with a typical 2000s song that, once again, sounds like an old smoking woman has something in her throat...

(And this song is "Come On Come On" by Smash Mouth)

Steve Harwell: (singing) Come on, come on and tell me why you're staring...

NC: (sings mockingly) I don't know! I can't haaaack it ooooouuttt... (speaks normally, shaking head) God, music sucked bad then.

NC (vo): ...as Frankie Muniz plays a boy named Jason, who gets tripped by some bullies.

(A bully named Bret Callaway (Taran Killam) steps on Jason's skateboard, making him fall on the ground. Bret's two cronies snicker, but Bret shuts them up by showing them index fingers)

NC: Those two give a look...

NC (vo): ...like those fingers have been up them.

NC: Yeah, they've been up them.

(After Bret takes the skateboard for himself, Jason has to run)

NC (vo): They steal his skateboard, which means he's late for school and therefore gets...locked out?

(Jason doesn't enter the school's doors as the principal closes them)

Steve Harwell: (singing) Come on, come on and stop!

NC: (shifts eyes) Uh, how exactly does this work? When we used to screw up, we were punished by being kept there, not by being kept out.

(In the English class, a girl named Kaylee (Amanda Bynes) recieves two messages from Jason on her phone, which say she needs to create a distraction. She does so while Jason sneaks through the window, but the teacher Phyllis Caldwell spots him)

NC (vo): He gets the attention of his friend Kaylee, played by Amanda Bynes, who makes a distraction in class while he sneaks in.

Jason: No. You looked flushed. I was just creating a cross-draft.

Ms. Caldwell (Sandra Oh): Why don't you read us your story?

Jason: You know what? Let's give someone else a chance.

Ms. Caldwell: You did do it, didn't you?

NC: (as Jason) Like how you did Thomas Haden Church in Sideways, (leans forward) another Paul Giamatti film you were in?! (normal) Okay, that...joke was much more underdeveloped than I thought. It's a work in progress.

NC (vo): Muniz tells a big lie about why he was late and dares her to call his dad to verify.

Ms. Caldwell: You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.

Jason: Call my dad if you want.

Ms. Caldwell: I think I will. (leaves the class)

NC (vo; as Ms. Caldwell): Let me just abandon the class for what I could easily do later. Kids, educate yourselves!

Jason: (recieves a call and speaks in a low, sick voice, imitating his father) Hello?

NC (vo): He gives her his number, of course, and pretends to be his father.

Jason: (as his father) I said, "Back off, Grim Reaper! I ain't done living yet."

(Ms. Caldwell returns, concerned)

NC (vo): Our education dollars at work, as she apparently falls for a kid mid-voice crack as an adult man.

Ms. Caldwell: You just take your time handing in that assignment.

Jason: Thank you.

NC: Okay, what did those later seasons of Grey's Anatomy do to you? That was stupid! Beyond stupid! (hears his phone ringing and answers it) Hello? Why, yes. Oh, I'll ask right now. (clears throat) Is there a Seymour Buts here? A Seymour Bu- (realizes) Wait a minute! (Bart Simpson's laughter is heard from NC's phone)

(Later, Jason finds his parents in the class who were told about their son's story)

NC (vo): To her credit, she does follow up and calls the parents in to catch him in his lie. He's required to write a fictional story and hand it in, or else he'll go to summer school.

(At home, Jason gets an idea and starts writing a story named "Big Fat Liar", based on his own stories he made up throughout his life. On his way to turn it in, riding on a bike, he is struck by the limousine of movie producer Marty Wolf, who's played by Paul Giamatti)

NC (vo): He gets a burst of inspiration, though, and writes a story called "Big Fat Liar". Must be a political thriller. However, he crashes into a limo on the way to drop it off.

Marty: (sticks out the window) What's going on here?

Jason: I need a ride.

Marty: What, am I running a taxi service?

NC: (as Marty) If I did, I wouldn't have made that wrong turn into Down Abbey, Season 4! (Harold Levinson from Downton Abbey's 2013 Christmas special "The London Season" is shown) That was a weird detour. (Pause) Why was I the-

(Marty gives Jason a ride)

NC (vo): Giamatti plays Marty Wolf, a Hollywood producer who's made some stinkers in the last few years.

Jason: You have made some stinkers in the last few years.

Marty: Yeah, well, everyone has a dry spell, Ebert.

NC: (as Marty) I get good reviews by dropping critic names in my movies, though- (normal, as the screenshot of Roger Ebert's review of this movie, which actually got three stars, appears) Aaaaaah...

Marty: All it takes is one hit to get you back on top.

Jason: Yeah, that's what I'm counting on with this story I'm handing in.

Marty: Oh, really? Why don't you tell me more about that? (makes a weird face and sound out of nowhere)

NC: Even for a self-centered jerk, that's a weird move.

(That moment is replayed)

NC (vo): That's like showing someone you don't care by saying...

NC: Tell me more about your story... (abruptly turns back to a pie photo) PIE!

NC (vo): Giamatti actually shares some tips on how to be a better liar, because, you know, he's from Hollywood, as he drops him off at the school.

Marty: (speaks in a hammy voice) Now get out! I got a movie to produce!

NC: (as Marty) Sorry, I just did two movies with Jim Carrey. He's still rubbing off on me! (shakes the dust off his jacket)

(In a rush, Jason accidentally forgets his essay in the limo upon arriving. Marty looks in the paper)

NC (vo): Muniz drops his paper, though, and Giamatti reads it in the car, coming to the next logical scene...

(Cut to show Jaleel White at the movie shooting, where he plays a cop talking to his chicken companion, who is also wearing a police uniform)

NC (vo): ...Steve Urkel talking to a chicken as a cop.

White: (as a cop, to a chicken) Shut the heck up! You talk way too much!

(NC is confused. He sees a fishing hook with a worm hanging from above)

NC: Okay, I'll bite. (grabs a hook) How does this happen?

(It's revealed the movie is produced by Marty, and he gets into an argument with White)

NC (vo): Oh, it's a movie set Giamatti is on.

NC: Well, that's your first big mistake. All I'm gonna be thinking about throughout the rest of the movie is what the hell was that goddamn Urkel chicken movie about!

NC (vo): Giamatti doesn't get along with this big star, as-

NC: (as a shot of the "chicken cop" appears next to him) Still trying to figure out the plot to it, aren't you? I am!

NC (vo): Giamatti doesn't get along with this big star, as he keeps calling him Urkel.

Marty: I did not tell you to stop acting, Urkel!

White: Wolf, how many times have I told you not to call me Urkel?

NC: (as White) Call me Sonic. Sonic!

(Marty and White walk around the movie set)

NC (vo): I'm not gonna lie, I kind of love Jaleel White in this role. It's brief, but it's pretty goddamn funny.

White: I'm gettin' nothing from the chicken, that's the problem, okay? He just sits there with his head off, slumped over. I have absolutely no idea what my motivation is.

NC: (as White) I get more motivation acting in (logo of...) Scooby-Doo and Guess Who! 2019, look it up.

(Meanwhile, at the school, Jason realizes his essay is missing and explains what happened, but his parents and Caldwell do not believe him, and he is sent to summer school to repeat English)

NC (vo): Meanwhile, it looks like Muniz doesn't get his paper in, so he's sent to summer school, taught by a wide-angle lens with a guy stuck in it.

(Just as said, we're shown an English teacher very close to the camera)

Teacher (Ted Rooney): W-I-L-I... (The bully from before (Bret), who's sitting next to Jason, snores)

NC: This looks like...

NC (vo): ...a 90s commercial before the product is shown.

NC: You know, the part where adults don't understand?

(Later, Jason and Kaylee see a preview in a movie theater for a film produced by Wolf Pictures titled Big Fat Liar)

NC (vo): Muniz goes to a movie theater and sees a trailer for the story he wrote. He's so angry, he literally floats out of his seat.

(Recognizing that the movie had been plagiarized from his essay, Jason stands up in awe...or rather, he is raised from a platform)

Trailer Announcer: Big Fat Liar.

NC: (as Pennywise from It (1990)) They float, Frankie! They all float!

NC (vo): I guess this is clever, but all I can think about is (An arrow points to a woman sitting in the front row) some moviegoer's feeling Frankie Muniz's junk creep up on her head.

NC: (as Jason) Whoa, whoa, hey! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You just got in the way of my symbolic gesture. What do you mean, you've heard that one before?

(Jason tries to convince his parents his essay was stolen, but they again don't believe him. He goes to Kaylee's house and discovers she is helping Bret with his English)

NC (vo): He tells his folks about the idea being stolen, but they don't believe him because of all his lying in the past. He goes to Kaylee, who's busy tutoring the bully who took his skateboard.

Bret: Bet you wish you still had your skateboard, huh, Shepherd?

Jason: Let's see. Fully-developed brain. Skateboard. I think I'll take the brain.

Bret: But I have your skateboard.

NC: ...That is some of the most perfectly written dialogue ever. It's perfect. I just wanted to point that out.

NC (vo): He has Kaylee to come with into LA to give revenge, but she has to stay with her senile grandma. So they send in the bully dressed as her, as they promise to do all his summer school homework.

(Bret, wearing Kaylee's clothes, comes to the door to meet Kaylee's grandmother, played by Sparkle (Rachel Glusman))

Bret: (not even attempting to mimic the voice) It's just Kaylee, Grandma.

Grandma: You can't be Kaylee. You've grown so tall.

NC (vo): They do...very little to make him seem like anyone else, and...

NC: (smiling) ...It's kind of amazing!

Bret: I'm benching, like, 220, 230. (laughs)

Grandma: Good for you! (They hug as Jason and Kaylee leave)

NC (vo): It takes a lot of work to be that lazy. I salute your creativity of bullshit.

(Jason and Kaylee arrive in Los Angeles in a plane. In an airport, they meet a limo driver and struggling actor Frank Jackson, played by Donald Faison, searching for Mr. Stroog)

NC (vo): They make it to LA and come across Turk from Scrubs as a limo driver.

Jason: Hi. I'm Mr. Stroog.

Frank: Just you're kind of young to be the biggest fur coat distributor of the Midwest, you know.

Jason: It's a family business.

Frank: Okay.

NC: (as Frank) I wonder if this is how I lost the other every job I ever had.

(Frank drives Jason and Kaylee in a limo, as they raise the roof and gaze upon the palm trees and ride into a Wolf Pictures studio, which is located in Universal Studios)

NC (vo): But this isn't an LA movie without limo ceilings opening up and fisheye lenses of palm trees! Oh, and did Universal make this? (The "Universal Studios Hollywood" logo is shown) Wizard that shit!

Tram Guide: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. This is Ron, your driver, and I am Arthur, your tour guide.

NC: But will they play (speaks in unison with the clip of the sign-up worker from The Wizard saying...) Ninja Gaiden? Hai!