Batman vs. The Dark Knight

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to, and welcome to a new portion of the show called Old vs. New

The title card is shown, featuing an old man crossing his cane with a little boy's baseball bat, as dramatic music plays and lightning strikes.

NC: This is where I take something old and nostalgic, and compare it to a recent remake to see which one is better. With that said, let's take a look at two of my favorite movies of all time: Batman and The Dark Knight.

Various clips of both movies show while the Critic keeps talking

NC: Now both of these films pushed the envelope on how to make a good comic book movie. They were dark, edgy, and constantly breaking the barrier between fun kiddy antics and epic adult dialemas. But which one is truly better: the original or the reimaging?

Cut back to the Critic

NC: Now I know technically, Batman Begins was the first of these new movies, but The Dark Knight is considered to be the best, and it has the most similarites to the '89 film, battling the Joker and so forth. Also remember that NONE of this is fact, it's strictly opinion, so don't go ape-shit if you don't agree with me. Even if you are completely wrong. So, let's see who's the best bad as we compare Batman and The Dark Knight.

The opening sequence plays as we see pictures of the main characters from both movies fly into the sky, while the theme songs of both movies play side by side.

NC: Well, let's just cut to the chase and jump to the main character: Michael Keaton vs. Christian Bale.

Round 1 - Best Batman

Clips of the movies play as the Critic narrates

NC: Now, to be fair, Christian Bale has a lot to act through. He has to play Bruce Wayne, the college student; Bruce Wayne, the outcast; Bruce Wayne, the warrior; Bruce Wayne, the drunken millionaire; and Bruce Wayne as Batman. Thank God they didn't ask him to do Bruce Wayne the transvestite. That would've destroyed him. Any one of those would be hard to do, and he has to do all five. But I have to admit, as hard as Bale tries, Michael Keaton is still the superior Batman. The main reason? He keeps all of his pain inside. When you see Bale, you can instantly see somebody who's either looking for attention or trying to hide something. With Keaton, he acknowledges that this is his battle, and he'll fight it alone. If you heard this guy (Bale) was Batman, you'd be like, "Yeah, he seemed a little odd to me." But with Keaton, you totally wouldn't believe it. In fact, a lot of people didn't. Many people petitioned not to have Keaton as Batman because they couldn't see him in the role. But that's why he so frickin perfect. You wouldn't suspect him. Look when he grieves over his parent's death. This is all very, very subtle: no tears, no facial expressions, but you can feel the pain that he's going through, where Bale still seemed a little lost and confused. And, of course, you have to look at them as Batman. Keaton is the only Batman who can actually smile and still look intimidating. It says, "Yeah, I got nothin to fear, bitch. Your ass is grass." Bale in the costume just looks ... well, silly. Now to be fair, that has a lot to do with the design. Keaton's costume was dynamic, classy, but also very threatening. Bale's always looked a little off to me. The nose was weird and I think it was little too bulky. It didn't really look like Batman. It looked like a guy dressing up as Batman. And of course, there's that infamous voice.

Bale: This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.

NC: I know, everyone's made fun of this voice, so I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Let's just say Keaton's sounded very natural.

Keaton: The Joker's tainted hundreds of chemicals at the source.

NC: ... and Bale's ...

Bale: You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

NC: ...didn't. In fact, let's play these threat scenes back to back.

Keaton: I'm not gonna kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.

Bale: Where were the other drugs going?

Krass: I don't know.

Bale: Why?

NC: You can tell Bale is trying to be threatening, while Keaton just sort of naturally is.

Jack: Jesus!

NC: You don't mess with Mr. Mom. Even when he's trying to save a family's life, he still does that stupid voice.

Bale: You don't want to hurt the boy, Harvey.

NC: Come on, people's lives are at stake here. Can you just cut the act?

Bale: Because you were the best of us.

NC: Let's just pray that he doens't read at any orphanges any time soon. [Cut to critic reading a comic book, imitating Bale's voice] Good night, moon, Good night, MOON. Good night, STARS. [Stops imitating] While still doing a good job, Bale can't compete with the unexpected master himself. Point goes to Keaton.

Bale: Sorry to disappoint.

Round 1 Winner - Batman

NC: But a hero can only be as good as his villain, and the Joker is one of the greatest villains of all time. But again, which one is the true clown prince of crime: Ledger or Nicholson?

Round 2 - Best Joker

NC: I had to admit, when I heard Heath Ledger was going to play the Joker, I said: "What, the prissy guy from A Knight's Tale? Come on." And when I saw the design of the character, it didn't help much either. It looked like a kid who put on Grandma's makeup (?). How's that threatening? Even after his tragic death, that didn't change anything for me. I still thought he was gonna suck. Nobody can top Jack, and nobody ever will. He's practically been playing the damn part all his life. So what makes them think this pretty boy can do any better? Well, thankfully, I was 100% wrong. Heath Ledger is not only funny as the Joker, but he's also shit-your-pants scary. I think this is because he composed every previous Joker that ever had existed before. The comic, the cartoon, the Nicholson performance. There's even a little bit of Cesar Romero in there. Just listen to that laugh and try telling me they don't sound alike.

Clips of Romero and Ledger's Jokers are shown of them laughing.

(Didn't hear what he said in the next sentence. Please continue.)