Bart Simpsons's Treehouse of Horror #2
October 29, 2012
You will not be calling "boo-urns" for this one, unfortunately.
Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. Halloween is almost upon us, my friends. We all have our own personal traditions and what we do or watch horror movies, ignore it entirely. But of course, one thing that I think a lot of us still do is a Simpsons marathon; specifically, the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes! (smiles)
(Footage of the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes of The Simpsons is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Some say The Simpsons have outlived their time, that they're not funny anymore or just the old days are the best days. Do I have a solid opinion on that? Eh, I watched last year's season, and it wasn't bad. Surprisingly, the episode that I thought was the funniest was the one that fit right at home in a "Treehouse of Horror" episode: Them Robot. Even if you don't watch the show anymore, I think people still have a special place fin their hearts for "Treehouse of Horror": around three vignettes that are something fairly original or parody horror or sci-fi or fantasy TV shows or movies. I had hoped to put together a top 10 list of the worst "Treehouse of Horror" segments for this Halloween. But, every time I try to record it, I keep hearing somebody laughing maniacally and speaking in a European accent about horror comics in the other room. I can tell you the absolute worst one right now, though: The Diving Bell and the Butter Ball. (sarcastically) Congratulations, you made a five-minute long flatulence joke and then out-of-nowhere Spider-Man parody. How proud you must be! (normal) This year actually had some good ones, though. Loved the Paranormal Activity parody. But anyway, let's talk about comic books. The Simpsons has always had a strange relationship with comic books, with quite a few of the staff writers being comic fans, and of course, one of the recurring characters is, well, Comic Book Guy, the overweight, overly sarcastic stereotype of comic book fans. Bart Simpson is always shown as a comic fan, particularly "Radioactive Man".
(Cut then to a montage of shots of Simpsons versions of comic book creators)
Linkara (v/o): Then, of course, there were the occasional cameos from comic creators, like Neil Gaiman, Stan Lee, Art Spiegleman, Daniel Claus, and Alan friggin' Moore!
(A clip is shown of Alan Moore, reading a comic called "Little Lulu")
Alan Moore: (singing) Oh, Little Lulu, I love you, Lu, just the same!
Linkara (v/o): I could feel this whole video with quotes from that episode's section featuring the comic creators. The actual plot of the episode was dumb. But let's get back to comics themselves.
(Cut to a closeup of the cover of a Simpsons comic called "Bart Simpson: Son of Homer")
Linkara (v/o): There have been a significant number of Simpsons comics over the years, most of them published under the Bongo Comics Group, which is still around today.
(Cut to a closeup of the cover of a "Treehouse of Horror" comic)
Linkara (v/o): In fact, they just released another "Treehouse of Horror" anthology a few weeks ago.
(Cut to the cover of a real-life Radioactive Man comic)
Linkara (v/o): The company was founded in 1993, when Matt Groening decided that there was too much grim material in comics and that it could use some funny stuff, a not-unfair analysis of the state of comics at the time.
(Cut to the cover of a comic called "Simpsons Super Spectacular")
Linkara (v/o): And they're not adaptations of Simpsons episodes, either. It's all original stuff, or occasionally a sequel story to something that happened on the show. Unfortunately, I don't regularly read them, so I don’t know the overall quality.
(Cut to a closeup of the cover of the 100th Simpsons comic book)
Linkara (v/o): But I've heard they're still funny, even after all this time, no doubt helped by the fact that a significant number of prominent creators have worked on them over the years, including Gail Simone, Chuck Dixon, Garth Dennis, James Robinson, and Paul Dini.
Linkara: So, that brings us to today's comic. Atop The 4th Wall is about bad stuff, so is this comic bad? (looks iffy) Not really. In fact, there's quite a bit of funny within it. However, it's not great, and when the hell else am I gonna talk about Simpsons stuff on this show? So, let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror #2".
(Cut to the opening credits; title card has the Treehouse of Horror theme from The Simpsons playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)
Linkara (v/o): While I am reading from a trade, we're gonna look at the cover this time, mostly because I would have read from the individual comics, except my copy is kind of falling apart. It's simple and nicely eye-catching, with either Kang or Kodos sneaking up on Bart, who's reading this very book... with this very cover... which features him on it. So, shouldn't he know that it's sneaking up on him? And if it's an exact replica of the situation, how was it published like that with another comic on that cover and another comic on that cover and...
(Cut to a clip from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)
Austin Powers: (cross-eyed) Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
(Cut back to the comic, which has opened to the first page)
Linkara (v/o): Unlike the regular Treehouse of Horror episodes, this unfortunately only has two stories. No wraparound segment either, but by this point on the show, they had abandoned that, sorry to say. We begin at Springfield Maximum Security Prison, where all the lighting in the prison windows is conveniently Halloween-esque orange and yellow. Our first tale's title: "Sideshow Blob!"
Linkara: Also known as "What happens when Kelsey Grammer eats too many doughnuts."
Linkara (v/o): Sideshow Bob is suffering from a cold and is being escorted to the prison doctor's office.
Warden: (to Sideshow Bob) Okay, Terwelliger [Sideshow Bob's last name], you know the deal. Because you volunteered for this foolhardy and almost certainly life-threatening experiment, we’re cutting your prison time in half.
Linkara: (as warden) I'm Warden Exposition. Nice to meet you!
Sideshow Bob: Warden, I'm anxious to cooperate in any way that will allow me to get out early and resume my true avocation...
Linkara: (as Bob) Interpretive dance!
Bob: ...helping oil-soaked sea birds return to their natural environment.
Linkara (v/o): Or running over Bart with a tractor, as his thought bubble reveals. Good times. Actually, here's a thought: wouldn't Sideshow Bob's hair have gotten shaved off when he got put in prison?
Bob: No, playing guinea pig doesn't bother me, so long as I'm assured the supervising doctor knows what he's doing.
Dr. Nick: (entering the room) Hi, everybody!
(Cut to a Simpsons episode, where Dr. Nick is appearing on his show)
TV Audience: Hi, Dr. Nick!
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara: Oh, come on, I had to do that.
(Dr. Nick holds up a needle with the experimental medicine in it)
Dr. Nick: (pretending the needle is a puppet) Now, don't be scared, Bobby! I'm Happy Hypo an' me an' Dr. Nick are gonna help you beat nasty ol' Mr. Cold!
Linkara: (as Dr. Nick) Side effects include sneezing, headache, loss of sleep, sore-throat, and nasal congestion!
Dr. Nick: One li'l jab, and all those icky, drippy mucous membranes will be absorbed into your body. Won' that be nice?
Linkara: (as Dr. Nick) You'll be just like Donald Trump!
Linkara (v/o): The injection seems to work, and Bob quickly says his head is clearing and he feels absolutely perfect after it. And then his body starts twisting around and Bob declares...
Bob: Gluump! Bloog! Waaaargle?!?
Linkara: Diarrhea is like a storm, raging inside you.
Linkara (v/o): And thus, he quickly transforms into a gelatinous blob of icky.
Dr. Nick: (face-palming himself) Whoa, silly me! I gotta the formula reversed! Whadda ya think about that?
Linkara: So, you increased the cold? This is the natural result of the common cold if it isn't fought?
Linkara (v/o): Bob, quickly realizing how powerful he is, absorbs Dr. Nick, the warden, and a guard into his body and kills them. He proudly proclaims that he now has the power to ignite a rampage of destruction and crush all his enemies.
(Cut briefly to a shot of a panel of "Captain America: Return of the Asthma Monster")
Linkara (v/o): And then he passes the Asthma Monster making his own escape from prison on the way out.
(Cut back to the Simpsons comic)
Linkara (v/o): After easily surging through the prison gates, we cut to Bart getting harassed by bullies. Surprisingly, he's wearing that light blue outfit you always seem to see him wear in every piece of media except the actual show. What's up with that? Is it just a coloring mistake that gets passed on to everybody else that nobody ever bothers to correct?
(Cut to a shot of the cover of a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers comic, showing the animal crests on the Rangers' chests)
Linkara (v/o): It's like the animals on the chests of the Power Rangers. Why does every piece of associated material except the actual show have those?!
(Cut back again to the Simpsons comic, where Lisa comes to Bart's rescue)
Linkara (v/o): Lisa saves him, somehow, while being dressed as a zoot suit jazz musician, and they steal his inexplicably pink hockey mask, before shoving his face in a jack-o-lantern shaped bucket. They run off, but then Sideshow Bob arrives. Lisa and Bart recognize him immediately, not questioning why he's now the big blob thing. Because Bob can't see Bart's face under the bucket, Bob only presumes it's Bart.
Bart: (fake German accent) Ach! Nine! Eeet is only humble transfer student Uter, yumpin' yiminy! That naughty Bart be ze leettle oodlum een ze hockey mask!
Linkara: (as Bob, looking thoughtful) Hmm, you're much slimmer than Uter, you're the same size as Bart, and the kid you're pointing at out is three times taller than Bart. Yeah, sure, I believe ya!
Linkara (v/o): Bob attacks them, but of course, Jimbo takes off the mask to reveal he isn't Bart. However, Bob says he was gonna get around to devouring them anyway, so... yeah, does so. Not sure why he would have gotten around them. Is this some kind of Akira thing now, where he's going to absorb everybody? Or can this technically be as a Thing parody now? Anyway, they [Bart and Lisa] decide they need to warn everybody about Bob.
Bart: Yeah, right Lisa. You know as well as I do adults never believe kids when a monster's on the loose!
Linkara: She's* right you know. When I was a kid, I warned people that Daniel Tosh was coming, but nobody ever believed me.
- NOTE: He should have said, "He's", not "She's", as he was referring to Bart.
Linkara (v/o): They go to their Aunt Selma first, but, naturally, she doesn't believe them. And as soon she closes the door, Bob is already inside the apartment. Damn, for being a giant snot monster, Bob's stealthy as hell. Next up is, naturally, the scientific community for a solution. Unfortunately, Professor Frink is disbelieving as well.
Prof. Frink: So you see kids, this so-called blob is simply a hysterical overreaction to a Halloween prank... Woo-hoy... Not unlike the Orson Welles flying saucer hoax of 1938.
Linkara: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, and the Springfieldians would never fall for that kooky hoax!
(Cut to a Treehouse of Horror episode where the citizens of Sprinfield cause chaos and mayhem throughout the town after hearing said hoax. 1930s Homer runs in frame with a torch and a revolver)
'30s Homer: (yelling) BURN EVERYTHING!
'30s Lenny: You know, Homer, we haven't actually seen these aliens.
'30s Homer: That's alien talk! (shoots Lenny)
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): We get a quick assortment of people getting killed by Bob until the kids reach the Kwik-E-Mart. Apu believes them, but only because his leg is being consumed by Bob. He's presumably killed off-panel because we don't see him afterwards, and Bart keeps tossing objects at Bob in the hopes that it'll do something against him. He finally responds to a Squishee getting tossed his way.
Bart: The big loogie doesn't like the cold! Quick, Lis! Play a rousing selection of Gilbert and Sullivan! I've got an idea!
Linkara: Damn it, Bart! Gilbert and Sulivan aren't cool, they're awesome! It's totally different!
Bob: So, the hellion remembers my fondness for the works of Sir William and Arthur. Ah, Mabel's song from "Penzance!" (sings) ...Poor wandering one! Though thou hast surely strayed...
Linkara: Odd that Lisa's first choice for Bob to sing is one sung by woman.
Linkara (v/o): Bob says it's not gonna work, but then she switches it up for a course number and gets Bob singing again.
Bob: (singing) When a felon's not engaged in his employment...
(Other heads grow from the blob and sing, too)
Second Bob head: (singing) ...His employment,...
First Bob head: (singing) ...Or engaged in his felonious little plans...
Third Bob head: (singing) ...Little plans,...
First Bob head: (singing) ...His capacity for innocent enjoyment...
Fourth Bob head: (singing) ...'Cent enjoyment,...
First Bob head: (singing) ...Is as great as any honest man's...
Fifth Bob head: (singing) ...Honest man's.
Linkara: (sitting in silence briefly) Oh, no joke or anything. I was in Penzance as the main police officer and it's rare for me to get a chance to sing the music, so I'm just indulging myself.
Linkara (v/o): Bart, in the meanwhile, starts pouring the Squishee machine as hard as he can on Bob, trying to freeze him over. However, Bob finally notices. Fortunately, the machine also has a reverse function. In any other comic, I'd be scratching my head and going "What the hell?", but this is The Simpsons. So yes, I completely buy that the Squishee machine has a reverse function. It sucks him in and explodes. And so, our story ends with Chief Wiggum not believing the kids, and of course, scratching his head with his gun. Meanwhile, some of Bob's remains go into a sewage drain in the middle of the floor, and he ends up at a water treatment plant and eventually at Mt. Splashmore. I don't get it, though I do like the "If you can read this, you're in Mt. Splashmore water storage tank #12" sign. Though, admittedly, I have to wonder why there's a light inside of the storage tank.
(Cut to the first page of the next story)
Linkara (v/o): We move on to the second story: "The Exorsister".
Bart: (narrating) First we take an overly intellectual, underly cool little sister. Next we add the wretched rhythm of a familiar demonic spirit with a backbeat of a town gripped by the senseless specter of censorship. Sing a song of squeamishness with... "The Exorsister"!
Linkara: Dear God, do I love alliteration!
Linkara (v/o): We open on the living room of the Simpsons household, where Marge is glaring at everybody, as she's wont to do. Marge berates the family on their choice of entertainment choices, particularly the band that Lisa is singing along to. Naturally, Lisa was carrying around the rap album's CD, even though she's clearly listening from a Walkman*, so I don't even know what. The band, called Oil and Vinega, is apparently all about female empowerment.
- NOTE: Linkara may have been implying that Lisa was listening from a cassette Walkman instead of a CD Walkman.
Marge: Since when does "female empowerment" involve brandishing enormous switchblades?!?
Linkara: I don't know, I kind of like this new image for the Spice Girls.
Linkara (v/o): Also, Marge, that's not a switchblade, that's a dagger. I think if they made switchblades in that size, it would kind of defeat the point of the thing, though I would want one anyway. While Lisa admits that they go a bit overboard, her favorite is still Madonna. Marge is not impressed with Madonna.
Marge: Well, if you ask me, she's got all the style and "class" of a second-rate Vegas nightclub act...
Linkara: Marge, this was 1996. I don't care how old you think you are, grow the hell up.
Linkara (v/o): Anyway, after a few more bits of Marge complaining about role models today, we cut to some time later where Flanders comes over try to find his sons. Marge says she thinks they're all in the basement and they’ve been playing some game called "Magicians Get Together" or something. Aaand when Flanders goes downstairs, we see them [Bart, Lisa, and Rod] preparing to chop Todd's head off! This story took a weird turn. Not even sure what the hell's going on here. Todd was supposed to be the sacrificial lamb; Rod, a druid high priest... although, why he's dressed like a wizard, I don't get; and Lisa is dressed like Madonna over Bart's objections.
Bart: Okay, but why always Madonna? I swear, you're possessed with her!
Lisa: The word is "obsessed," and I am not!
Linkara: Wait, she always does this? How many times have you played this game? (looks around shiftily, then leans forward; more serious tone) How many children have you murdered, Bart?
Linkara (v/o): The next day, the Simpsons are hosting a barbecue, where Marge informs Ralph that Lisa's sick and won't be coming down. Reverend Lovejoy starts ranting to Flanders that the end days are approaching.
Rev. Lovejoy: Why, the signs are everywhere! Just turn on your TV or radio and you'll be subjected to a constant barrage of the most vile forms of entertainment imaginable.
Linkara: Uh... (sighs) Honey Boo Boo reference, Toddlers In Tiaras reference, Jersey Shore reality shows, Arrow. Take your pick, I don't watch TV anymore.
Linkara (v/o): Later, Lisa comes downstairs, looking kind of crappy. Ralph hands her some lemonade and she spills it in the ground, in a pretty cute Exorcist parody bit. But then she starts singing Madonna songs. Marge drags her away and later to the doctor. Lisa, now dressed like Madonna, starts dancing around everywhere. Dr. Hibbert says there's nothing physically wrong with her, but Marge isn't convinced, based on her bizarre hand movements.
Dr. Hibbert: That's a phenomenon we refer to as "voguing"--a symptom that was very much (ahem!) in vogue a few years back. I'm surprised to see it's still around...
Marge: My goodness! Is it contagious?
Linkara: (annoyed) Marge, you were alive during the '80s, right? I mean, I know the Simpsons timescale is kind of confusing, but I mean, at the time this comic came out, you were alive during the '80s, yes?
Linkara (v/o): After a failed second opinion from Dr. Marvin Monroe, and a change of outfit from Lisa, Marge is still unsure what's going on. We cut to a few weeks later, where we have a, well, pointless bit where Krusty apologizes for an incident with a kid imitating something he had done on his show. Afterwards, Marge talks to Reverend Lovejoy about what's been happening and begs for some help with Lisa. The Reverend is understandably skeptical about the idea that Lisa is possessed by the spirit of Madonna, especially because... well, Madonna is still alive.
Marge: I see... Well, I guess I should have gone to see the Catholic priest in the first place...
Rev. Lovejoy: W-Whoa, now, Mrs. Simpsons, let's not be hasty!
Linkara: (as Rev. Lovejoy) I mean, come on, don't you want to try voodoo first, or Satanism? I hear Satanism is popular this season.
Rev. Lovejoy: It's true that my domination doesn't believe in exorcism, but who knows, this may turn out to be a great new source of revenue for the church!
Linkara: (as Rev. Lovejoy) Hi there, can I interest you in a door-to-door exorcism?
Linkara (v/o): That night, Rev. Lovejoy arrives hearing Lisa sing "Like a Virgin" backwards from her room. After he gets upstairs, he kicks open the door to reveal Lisa in bed with... two gremlin doll... things... 'Kay...
Lisa: They're my entourage, and wherever I go, they go...
Linkara: (as Lisa) I tried to have Furbies as part of the entourage, but they were just too creepy.
Linkara (v/o): Also, Lisa's head is backwards... and the Madonna cone bra is, too. Lisa explains...
Lisa: I needed my shoulder blades up front in order to keep my brassier on...
Linkara (v/o): Kind of funny, except you'll notice, there's nothing holding the bra up. There are no straps for them. They're apparently glued on or something.
Rev. Lovejoy: (to Lisa) The power of cod is within you! The power of cod-- No! I mean--
Linkara: (as Rev. Lovejoy) Crap, I read from my other book. I secretly worship a giant fish!
Linkara (v/o): When the scripture reading fails, Lovejoy shows her a review of the film, Body of Evidence, which compares her acting ability to that of comatose llama. And naturally, this expels her from Lisa, along with Dennis Rodman and... Gillian Anderson... I think? And so, our comic ends with Lisa back to normal and Homer wondering where the spirit of Madonna went after being expelled. And we see Rev. Lovejoy wearing a silver cone bra and singing "Like a Virgin".
Linkara: (holds up comic) This comic... It doesn't suck, but it's not very good either.
Linkara (v/o): As someone who's had to read a lot of unfunny material this last year, there are plenty of humorous bits to it, and there is plenty of good humor potential used in the "Sideshow Blob" story. Its main problem is, surprisingly, the padding. It probably would have helped to have had a third story and excise some of the more useless bits, especially from the "Exorsister" story. With that one, there's less jokes or parody and more just Marge ranting about "those kids today", Rev. Lovejoy ranting about "those kids today", and the whole page with Krusty that added nothing, same as the kids playing "human sacrifice". It was just... not funny and really kind of pointless. But it wasn't unbearable and I still got a chuckle out of it.
Linkara: Simpsons comics can still be pretty damn funny, though, especially the "Treehouse of Horror" ones. So, I still say check them out and most of them are actually available in trade formats, including a crossover with Futurama. In the meantime, have yourselves a happy Halloween! Next month, Secret Origins Month returns! (gently puts down comic, gets up and leaves)
(End credits roll, which, in the spirit of "Treehouse of Horror", are given a Halloween spin to them)
Yes, I did plan for the Longbox episode and this one to come out on the same day.
I meant to say "he's right, you know." Was thinking about Nancy Cartwright, Bart's voice actress, instead of Bart himself. Also, I can't do Marge's voice for crap.
Favorite Treehouse of Horror segments are a tie between "The Shinning" and "Time and Punishment."
(Stinger: In the living room, Harvey Finevoice is holding his tommy gun. Dr. Linksano is messing around with a tricorder and other Star Trek equipment by the kitchen entrance. Finally, 90s Kid is behind a couch with a phaser rifle at the ready. Everyone is paranoid of each other. Linkara enters the room)
Linkara: (sighs) Guys, we need to talk.
Harvey: (aiming his tommy gun at Linkara) Whoever you are, there ain't nothing left to talk about.
Linkara: I want to apologize. You three can feel fine to not trust me. After everything that's happened, that's more than fair. But right now, I know that I am who I say I am, and I have to trust that you’re all who you say you are. This thing doesn't want to show itself and wants to hide and make us all destroy each other. If it is hiding, that suggests that it's vulnerable out in the open. If we fight each other, maybe even kill each other, then it'll have no more enemies left, and it'll have won.
Harvey: Even if you really are Linkara, it doesn't change anything. We're still stuck here, (yells toward Linksano) AND BIG EYES HASN'T FIGURED OUT A WAY TO GET US OUT!
Dr. Linksano: Bite me, Finevoice!
Harvey: (back to Linkara, still yelling) AND IT DOES'T CHANGE ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU DID BY LEAVING US ALL HERE WITH THE HOLOGRAM!!
Linkara: It was a mistake! I'm sorry! I should have–
Harvey: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you "should have"! I'm hearing a lot of "should haves", but not about what you actually DID do!
Linkara: (yelling himself) GOD DAMN IT, HARVEY, DON’T YOU GET IT?!? WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER!
Harvey: (as Linkara still argues) OH, WE'RE GONNA GET INTO THIS RIGHT NOW!
(The two start yelling at each other inaudibly)
Dr. Linksano: (irritated himself) You incessant pigmites! I'll show you all!
(Linksano ducks out of the way into the kitchen to avoid the argument, in which Linkara demands that they rally around together, while Harvey accuses Linkara of going off on his own and leaving his friends to fend for themselves. All the while, 90s Kid is watching the argument, but then he notices the semi-invisible cloaked figure by the wall)
90s Kid: Hey, guys?
(They ignore him and continue to yell at each other, so he tries to fire the phaser rifle at it, but it doesn't work. Then 90s Kid spots a nearby katata and runs the cloaked figure through with it. There is a flash of light and the semi-invisible cloaked figure shrieks in pain so loud that Linkara and Harvey, startled, stop arguing and notice him. Linkara draws his magic gun to fire, but the cloaked figure uses some form of telekinesis to push him aside. Linkara screams in pain. Then Harvey aims his tommy gun at the cloaked figure, only for it to also telekinetically pushes him. He, too, screams in pain. What the cloaked figure doesn't know is that using the telekenis has apparently drained him. Linkara sits up, groaning)
Linkara: (tossing 90s Kid the magic gun) 90s Kid, catch!
(90s Kid catches the gun as the cloaked figure shrieks in horror)
90s Kid: YEAH, SCREW YOU, TOO!
(He fires a shot at the thing, causing it to explode. Linkara and Harvey, dazed, get back up)
Linkara: What the hell was that thing?!
Harvey: Or those cloak goons.
Nimue: Warning! Intruder alert!
Linkara: (surprised) Nimue! You're online?
Nimue: Intruder alert! There is an intruder present!
(Linkara turns around... to find The Gunslinger)
Gunslinger: Took you long enough.
(90s Kid fires the magic gun at him, which the kickback knock 90s Kid down. The Gunslinger deflects the blast with a force field from his tech glove. Harvey aims his tommy gun at him)
Linkara: (holding up his hand to stop the others) Guys, hold it! (turns back to the Gunslinger) Who the hell are you?
Gunslinger: Just someone doing what he has to.
Linkara: I take it you're responsible for what's been happening?
Gunslinger: You ask a lot of questions, don't you? I picked that thing up a few months ago when I was fighting another guy with a gun. Thought it might come in handy. It loosens people's inhibitions a bit; really gets some rage going and feeds off it.
Linkara: And you still want my magic gun?
Gunslinger: (chuckles) Has that ever changed? Still, not until it's good and ready.
(The Gunslinger's tech glove starts to beep and he looks at it)
Gunslinger: Oh, it is ready. You've been busy these past few months, haven't you? I didn't even have to get you mad.
Linkara: The hell are you talking about?
Gunslinger: You've unlocked the gun's full potential. Can't you feel it? It's definitely ripe for picking. So, are you gonna do this the easy way or the hard way?
Harvey: (angrily) AS HARD AS LEAD, BUCKO!
(He fires his tommy gun at the Gunslinger, but he used his glove to deflect the bullets)
Linkara: Nimue, emergency procedure four on the intruder!
(A force field surrounds the Gunslinger, trapping him)
Linkara: I think it's time you explained yourself, asshole!
Gunslinger: (looks at his pocket watch) Don't have the time. Think I'll take my leave now. That gun'll be mine soon enough. Heard you took out Vyce. Probably makes you a good guy. I'd ask for your help if I could. But trust me, it just wouldn't work out.
(He clicks his watch shut, which causes him to begin teleporting away)
Linkara: Nimue, stop him!
(But it's too late; the Gunslinger has disappeared)
Nimue: Unable to comply.
Linkara: (hits a wall in frustration) Damn it!
(He pants for breath after his outburst. Some time later, Linkara approaches Harvey, who is smoking a cigarette and pacing. Both feel guilty and embarrassed over their argument from earlier)
Harvey: Hey, kid.
Linkara: You missed the meeting.
Harvey: I didn't think it'd be good for me to be there. You guys figure out how Nimue came back up?
Linkara: Pollo and Linksano suspect that she was never offline to begin with. There's no damage to the apartment’s computer. That shadow creature probably screwed around with our own perceptions, made us think that we couldn't leave, and we couldn't hear Nimue over the sounds of our own yelling.
Harvey: Well, that's just peachy.
Linkara: Are you okay?
Harvey: No, kid, I'm not. You see, it doesn't matter if those perceptions were fake or anything. Everything I said to you and the others, that was real. I was really that angry at you about the hologram thing. I was ready to put a bullet between your eyes.
Linkara: But you didn't, and that's what's important.
Harvey: No, the fact that I was willing to was what's important. (restrains himself from causing another argument) I need to get away from this for a while, kid. I need some time to think. I've got a concert tour that will take me all over the States for a bit. I think that'll help.
Linkara: (exhales deeply) If that's how you feel... You think you'll be back for Christmas at least?
Harvey: We'll see. (turns and heads for the front door)
Linkara: Harvey? (Harvey stops, but does not turn around) For whatever it's worth, I am sorry about the hologram. Last month, before this all started, I said that I knew that I would not turn evil, because you guys will be by my side. That opinion has not changed.
(Without another word, Harvey leaves)